It was Easter and I had decided to spend it with a dear friend. We don’t often see each other due to the nature of our jobs. We do however find time during holidays.During one of our days out, my friend shared some good news with me. She found a job, a dream job, well almost. I finally found courage to applied for a new job she said and I got it. Wow! great news, I said.
To say her next statements was a shock to me was an understatement. She went on to say this “ but it’s not the exact position I wanted. I would have loved to get the other open position. It’s much better than this job and I think I can Do a much better job than xyz who got it, after all I am better qualified.
Are you crazy? You have just got his amazing job and here you are comparing it to someone else’s? I couldn’t believe it. I pulled her up straightaway.
Here I was waiting for a child and all she can talk about is the fact that some else has got a better job than hers.
We do that sometimes, don’t we? Constantly comparing our situation to others. Wishing we had something much better than our current situation.
She’s got a better a job than i, She’s got a better marriage, I wish our relationship was like theirs. She’s got a better car, I belt everything is going well for her, she’s got 3 well put together children,
How about, she’s got kids and I don’t and, she’s not even a Christian. She was very promiscuous and yady yady ya
Yet she’s married and blessed with children.
Infertility reveals certain things about ourselves which are ugly. It was during this phase of my life I discovered some unpleasant truths about myself which I had to deal with.
Yes, we have those moments where we feel really bad and allow our mind to wander off. Nothing wrong here. It is the continued comparison and feelings of unhappiness which has the potential to really turn us into ugly and angry waiters.
Yes, someone have it better than me,
Yes, they only just got married
Yes, they aren’t Christian.
Whatever it is which threatens to change you from who you were before infertility, stop and check it. Deal with your emotions
Waiting isn’t easy, to come out of this season better, here are 3 practical steps to help guard your heart
1. Find 3 things to be thankful for daily. Research shows that finding 3 different things to be thankful for frees us from worry and forces our mind to look deep within to find what’s always being there. Making this a daily habit takes the focus off our situation and to the positives in our lives. Adopting a grateful mindset frees us from fear and worry. Cultivate this habit and soon you will see your happiness reservoir increases. 2. Do something nice daily for someone else, leave a surprise for your post man, give something nice to the guy who serves you coffee. Ask the cleaner when her/his birthday is and get her/him a nice present, volunteer at a care home, write someone a nice anonymous note. doing something for others gives a nice feeling, in that moment and for the rest of that day your focus is on someone else, taken away from your issues.
3. Pray: prayer releases faith and replace fear. It frees us from worry and increase trust. Praying often will release you from the need to compare ourselves with others. In prayer we yield our helplessness to the all knowing and all seeing one, we place our entire trust in him because we know he has our future in his hands and will always come through for us. Comparing ourselves with others is a natural human thing to do, however it can lead to depression of we constantly see ourselves worse of in comparison with others. We all have different battles we are engaged in, it is therefore pointless to wish for some else’s life.
Be steady in yourself, have the confidence that you can come out of this with your hearts desires, and become a better person for it.
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