Keeping Hope Alive

I use to wonder how to keep my hope and faith alive during my days as a woman in waiting. Whenever I thought I was up there in the hope department, something happens to derail that hope:
The more I felt like I was hopeful the further away from my dreams I felt.

How do I keep hope alive when I had just lost another pregnancy
How do I keep hope alive when I have just had another failed IVF cycle?
How do I keep hope alive when the news is awash with stories of the dangers of having babies beyond 40s.

I couldn’t.
My hope and faith faded as red stains fades from a dress.

I realise that keeping hope alive have nothing to do with what was happening to me. It was how I choose to see and react to what going on.

Here are 5 things I did to keep my hopes of becoming a mum alive.

I looked for stories that seem impossible. I was and still enthralled by stories which seem like all hope of a success was lost, but against all odds the impossible becomes possible. Most importantly I look for stories similar to mine. Failed attempt to become pregnant, lost pregnancy, prolong wait finally yielding results. These all combined kept me hopping.
I embarked on a mission to find a reason for my predicament: I was not satisfied with unexplained infertility. I knew something was wrong. There must be a reason why I was unable to fall pregnant. My quest to discover the reason for my unexplained infertility kept me hoping that perhaps when the is reason found, a cure will commence and I will become pregnant.Exploring Treatment Options. 

I decided to trust the maker of the universe to do what is best and right for us. Ok, God I use to say. If it must be, it’s up to you. I have done my bit. Now it’s over to you. Giving him control of the situation and knowing that I have done and doing all within my power to conceive kept my hope alive.

I was incredibly grateful for what I have. I was full of gratitude for my home, a loving husband and a stable marriage. Knowing that many couple did not survive trying for a baby kept me going. Being in a constant state of gratitude even when I have just had a miscarriage kept my hope alive.

I looked for Simple things to be grateful for, like the fact had i am becoming better and more patient person. Gratitude that another friend has had a baby and gratitude for a strong support network, kept me hopeful..

I had fun. I found an excuse to always have fun. Luckily for me I had a group of friends in similar situation. Together we prayed, encouraged each other and travelled together. We shared our dreams of one day becoming a mum and we supported those weak in faith. This bond kept our hopes alive. And when one by one we all fell pregnant those left behind were even more hopeful. Today I can truly say my friendships helped kept my hope alive
I urge you today, do not let the wait snuff out hope from within you. Cast your gaze on something bigger than your pain. Build a tent of gratitude and leave your desires in the hands of him who can bring them to pass and take flight on the wings of hope. Let it carry you safely till you reach the shores of your dreams.

Keep Hope Alive:

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Related reading:

 

Hope Against Hope, Resurrected Hope , The “age” thing, Top Rated IVF Clinics in UK , Exploring Other Options, Exploring Treatment Options. 

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Hope Against Hope

How do you hope when you are faced with a set back? Life is really unfair I thought to myself. Not only was I told not to fall pregnant due to the drugs I was on?

Years later, having been declared in remission and taken off all medications 

I could not fall pregnant…

At the time there was no silver lining in my cloud. The future without kids looked bleak. 
I did not hope. I was void of all emotions, how can I trust God, where is the faith to believe and keep trying? 

Immediately after disappointment, we usually feel negative emotions. Like

Anger, fear and lack of faith. Uncertainty about the future tears are also constant during such time.

It may take a few good months, weeks or months for us to come to terms with our predicaments but that’s when healing truly begins. 
Healing did begin for me. I dreamt again

Believe again and hope again. 

Now I rejoice in having my precious kids, 

Despite the diagnosis 

I hoped against hope. 
So I encourage you today to stand firm, and sure.

Glimpse your set time ahead. 

Though faith may weaver a your heart quavers from fear

Lift your gaze higher to the promise that will one day be real

Grasp firmly to your desires 

For in hoping against hope, 

Will you triumph over all. 
Your partner in hope
D’Ebi