I remember the day I came home with a book on accepting one’s fate as childless.

It was a book about accepting the inevitable and learning to let go of the desires to be a parent and live happily without kids.

My husband’s reaction was one of disbelief, the day he saw me with that book. why would you even think about that? Have you given up?

This made me reassess my desires. I knew I wanted a child, so reading this book was creating a conflict within me, which was to accept another outcome, one different from what I wanted. Needless to say I did not finish reading it.

Looking back now I can understand why I was reading the book.

Although I was not ready to stop trying I was intrigue by those who have and how they reached that decision. The difficulty, stress and pain that comes with trying was what led me to that book.

I wanted to know how to cope should I come to the point of making the decision to call it quit.

A month ago I celebrated the arrival of a miracle child as he is called, to a lady who is 56, this question has been asked by various groups. Should she have carried on trying? Is she selfish to have wanted a baby even after 50?

There are varied opinion on the subject.

But as a woman who tried and waited for a Child I cannot question ones desires to continue to want a baby well into their mid 50s or agree that she should have stopped trying and call it quit.

She was Unwilling to accept she will not be a parent hence she continued  on her quest to have a child and she was rewarded with one. I look back now and realise that I too may have carried on trying although not into 50s.

My encouragement to you today is not to give up that desire, while you are still of reproductive age. Do be mindful of the risk of conception past certain age. If that desire persists don’t quash it. Seek medical Counsel on all the possible ways of conception.

Do all that is medically and naturally possible to conceive. You will come to a point where you alone will make the decision on whether to continue or to stop.

My wish and hope for you is that you will not have to stop trying, but will welcome your own little bundle of joy this year.

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi

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