Month: October 2018

A Painful Decision

D'EbiLeave a comment

I love doing this, bringing awareness and hope to those on this journey.

This post will feature the story of a dear friend and their painful infertility journey.

Infertility is a destroyer of relationships, love and happiness.

A once happy vibrant couple can become bitter resentful and sometimes split as a result of the intensity brought on by infertility. The inability to conceive or birth a child can take away one’s hopes and dreams.

Izzy was once a vibrant, happy go lucky woman, she loves life, her job and her faith. She was 26 when she met David a simple happy guy, they were perfect for each other. After dating for one year they decided to tie the knot.

Before their wedding they made a private vow to never ever allow anything to change who they are. They love their carefree happy life and vowed to do everything to make sure it stayed that way.

They even wrote a poem to emphasis the point.

Our love will grow and may slow,

We may sail down paths unknown and encounter scenes unseen

But we will keep in view the picture of love that keeps us bound and sane.

And should we tread the path of pain

May we anchor to you our source of strength and eternal hope.

this was printed and placed in their living room. Wedding was celebrate in the simplest way possible and a year later they decided to try for baby. Little did they know fate had other plans waiting for them.

This decision changed the course of their lives and relationships. After a year of trying without success they sought help. By now Izzy was 28 and David 30.

Low sperm count how is that possible? David mused, why me, how how can it be. Several options for conception were presented to them, donor sperm, IVF, ISCI, AI.

David was not an excessive drinker, never smoked, never used drugs, he lived a healthy life. How is that possible? turns out he may have been born that way.

They decided to explore other options. They embraced all treatments option wholeheartedly, still nothing. Izzy was very supportive and finally  David agreed they should go for IVF Using a donor sperm.

THE PROCESS

The process was successful and implantation took place, then pregnancy.. they remained hopeful but were cautious, this was their first conception. Please Lord they prayed, may nothing go wrong.

But 2 month in, disaster struck, suddenly all symptoms stopped and she immediately knew something was wrong.

A scan confirmed their worst fear, no heartbeat was detected. They had suffered a miscarriage.

This loss was very difficult  particularly given their situation, needless to say they were both heart broken. David more so as he felt helpless and guilty, how is he supposed to help his wife, he is the cause yet he can’t do anything about it.

It was an intense period of grief for them. How can they come so close only to be still so far.

It was too painful and this led them to take the painful decision not to go down the IVF rout again.

Their Decision?

If it happens so be it. But they will not put themselves, their happiness, well being and relationship on the line.

This was by no means an easy decision for the couple mainly because David  has a low spent count.

Sadly I have met quite a few couples who have decided not to pursue their dream of being parents via IVF as a result of the intense pain and heartbreak suffered from miscarriage or failure.

We came close to making that choice as each miscarriage and failed IVF becomes more lingual than the last.

I found the pain of another failure more intense than the last.

THE FUTURE

Well 3 years down the line Izzy and David  have somehow rebuilt their lives again and are well on their way to the coupe they were before IVF.

How did they do it? Find our in the next article. Ways to come back from a failed treatment.

Related post

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/09/22/exploring-other-options/

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Pregnancy Over 35!

D'EbiLeave a comment

Today we learnt, our very own duchess Megan is pregnant at age 37. The little darling is expected in spring of 2019.

How amazing. She was beaming from ear to ear as she touched down in Australia earlier today.

Why this post you may wonder?

Well, it is a good news story and l love sharing good news, she is 37! And often we are told how difficult it is to conceive over that age.

We are constantly told and with good reason that a woman’s fertility falls off significantly once she reaches her 35th birthday, according to Katherine O’Brien, head of policy research at the British Pregnancy Advisory Service (bpas), women should not  panic about conception after the age of 35.

According to her, there are evidence which suggests that having sex twice a week, 82 per cent of women aged 35-39 will conceive within one year of trying.

While women in their late thirties might have to try harder to conceive, they stand a high chance of falling pregnant relatively swiftly (HUFFPOST).

Of course the biological clock is real but the age with the most decline is in one’s 40s.

That is not to say women below the age bracket cannot be faced with problems.

Women of any age can be faced with infertility.

We started trying when I was 30, and I only fell pregnant after a few IVF attempts at age of 38.

The bottom line here is that a woman who leads a relatively healthy life like Magen does have a higher chance of falling pregnant.

Luck or Cause:

I use to have to deal with comments which suggests we were just unfortunate. “you are so young and can’t get pregnant”? I also thought it was my fate to suffer this disease, friends who have also suffered this disease often joked that they were unlucky.

Knowing what I know now I don’t think my particular situation was down to luck, I had an underlying disease which I believe affected my ability to fall pregnant easily.

For others they may have lived  a relatively healthy life and still for some reason unable to fall pregnant. So it could be luck for some and medical for others? I don’t know.
But generally adopting a healthy lifestyle is of great benefit to a achieving one’s  quest for parenthood.

I know Megan is lives a healthy lifestyle and maybe just maybe luck was also on her side. Regardless it’s nice not to suffer the dreaded disease.

Causes of infertility

women in their mid to late thirties conceive naturally if they are ovulating regularly and have no known cause of sub-fertility and have maintained a healthy lifestyle when there is no male factor problem. Men’s age also has an impact on their fertility.”

According to the NHS websites the known causes of infertility are

Irregular ovulation

Endometriosis

Low spent count,

Low egg quality

Age

Pelvic inflammatory disease

Polycystic ovary

Cervical mucus problem.

It advised women over 35 to consult their GP if they have not conceived after trying regularly for 12 months.


Everyone’s story is different, whether you have been trying for a few months or a few years, keep your hopes alive with the news of Megan’s pregnancy. Who knows Mother Nature may smile on you soon.

Whatever the length of time please seek medical help if you have been trying for 12 months without success.

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Related post

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/02/22/endometriosis-a-cause-of-infertility/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/03/19/infertility-a-male-and-female-issue/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/09/15/good-news-statistics/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/04/08/a-womans-dilemma-is-40-too-old/