A Costly Gift

It’s the season of giving and receiving gifts. I have been trying to find the most thoughtful presents for my loved ones and I am sure you are as well.

What will it cost you to do something for someone else? Time, money, your possessions or skills. Going through trying times leaves us focus on ourselves, often too drained to consider giving any of these to others.

I realized this during the most difficult periods of my life, I couldn’t give of myself to anything, I was focused on getting through the stage of infertility, but I knew there were so many in need of my skills and thankfully I decide to keep a journal of my experiences which started faithful wait

Although God freely gives us gifts of love, grace, mercies, forgiveness, protection, provision and love. He makes no demands made of us, because it already cost Him, His Son. It was and remains the most costly gift of all time. The person we now celebrate at Christmas was give. as a gift for many.

His life bought our freedom from sin, sickness, loss, disappointment and gave us a living hope. 

His paid once so that we can enjoy his gifts eternally.

So this Christmas consider someone in worse situation than yourself and give them a gift you can afford, or go a step further, give a gift that will cost you something.

Remember Christ promised to surround you with with favor like a shield in the mist of your situation.

He is with you through every circumstance shielding you, so that you can also respond by helping others.

As you receive Gods blessings during this time, and all through the years, find time to share your gift with others.. because what you receive freely cost him everything. 

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

God’s unchanging nature

You have changed a lot, my friend screamed, having not seen me since my last child she was surprised at how much I had changed and then in the same breath she tuned, you haven’t changed at all.. I was confused.

Which was it? I wondered after we parted.

No one remains the same for ever,  we change physically as we progress in age and we also change emotionally as we progress through life.

Our situations either make or break us, we can either become stronger from what we face or more emotionally broken, it’s just the way we are made.

How have you changed since you were diagnosed with infertility?

Infertility and it’s accompanying relations leaves one emotionally broken and drained. No matter how hopeful, faithful, strong one is, this experience takes us to the highest heights and lowest of lows. The only constant in all this is God who never changes, his love for us remains unchanging, stead and ever present.

Your spouse may abound you in the process, You may give up on your dreams, your friends will go on have kids and friendship cycle will change.

Take heart God hasn’t given up on you. From generation to generations, year in year out, through pain and happiness, he remains with us, in us and for us.

Whatever our humble circumstances He who comes to us as a baby, now lives in us as our comfort, friend, King, companion and father.

Just as he remains unchanged so is His word, we can rely on His promises, Peace and strength when we most need it. He remains unchanging.

Through the years, heart aches, pain, sorrow, joy and laughter.

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Related piece

Identity, Behind The Scenes, The Satisfied Heart, Celebratory seasons, A Glimpse of Hope, Trust and Joy in the mist of pain, Presents and Kids, Does God Forgets

Hopping Lanes

I want to talk today about the fast and slow lane.

If like me you drive regularly, you will understand what I’m talking about. There is a fast lane, where drivers can drive at the maximum speed limit, it’s faster than inner lanes on the dual carriageway. Often, these lanes cannot be distinguished during traffic congestion giving the perception of a faster or slower lane.

How one sees traffic during such times depends on how much of a hurry you are to get to your destination.

Sometimes it also depends on what you think is happening in front of you or around you. So often I’m driving and seem to be stuck in my lane while the lanes to my right or left is moving, I veered into “fast” lanes, only for it to become stationery.

I look back to the lane I had just come off, which is now the faster lane, my goodness I should have stayed on that lane which is now or appears to be faster, sometimes I go back and repeat the process a few times, before I give up.

This happens to me often and I am hoping to improve on my lane hopping skills.

Every time, I tell myself, today is the day I’m not going to switch I’m not going to look at what’s happening to my right, or my left I’m just gonna stay in my lane but soon find myself switching.

A bit like the grass being greener on the other side.

We sometimes look at other people’s journey and we think they have it all good we look at the people in our lives for whom life seems to be going smoothly.

It seems like they have everything going for them, no ruffled feathers, are married with 2.4 kids, good jobs, good house, well manicured lawn, and we wish.

Oh my goodness I wish I could have that”

Have you been trying to be pregnant since forever, multiple IVFs, and failed cycle and Still no child. While your friends, neighbour or sister in law keeps popping them? It’s natural to sometimes wish you were in that other person’s shoes.

We really don’t know what’s going on in that lane, in other peoples live, until we switch lanes, an appearance of speed or bliss isn’t always the case.

My encouragement to us, is to stick it out, in your lane, in your world, while hoping for the best outcome.

Expect, prepare, be at peace, regardless of what is going on in other peoples lives, around you.

Your lane maybe slower but it will move and in time take you to your destination.

There maybe detours, road blocks, temporary traffic lights causing serious traffic jam, in the form of IVFs, endometriosis, miscarriage, delays.

“Key word they are temporary”.

Your journey is not compared with anybody else’s so stick it out.

Take the detours, complete the IVfs, do the treatment again if possible, hope, Pray, expect and repeat.

Your Partner in Hope

Debbie

Related Post Don’t tire, keep trying. Whatever you do, Don’t Stop Trying. Purpose in Pain , FaithfulWait: A Reflective Journal for Those in Waiting.

Behind The Scenes

As I read about the baby news of Isreal Houghton and his wife Adrienne, my heart leaped for joy, this couple have been married for about 5 years and behind the scenes they have hoped, prayed, while trying for a baby.

Infertility is no respecter of persons, rich, poor, high class, low class, infertility can and have broken couples, marriages and relationships.

So I was excited for this news that they have conceived via a surrogate mother, and even though they have continued to be public figures, behind the scenes they have pleaded with God, expected, and held on..

So be encouraged, right now, you maybe at your wits end, wondering when Lord, why Lord, How Lord. The behind the scenes experiences where
we cry, we pray, we slop, we start again is not public view, but heavens knows and sees.This poem puts simply

behind the scenes we
fall apart and let the broken pieces of our emotions dance before us.
behind the sciences we sometimes smile and grasp to the last shred of hope, perhaps there will come a day!!!
And hope is all we bond on to.

Behind the scenes we keep on keeping on,
we gather strength and give it one more try,
When strength fails and the future seems bleak,
behind the scenes sometimes the sun comes and breaks through the dark cloud.

my prayer for all those still waiting is to stay the course and trust His perfect plan.

your partner in Hope

Debi

Related post

A Glimpse of Hope

Waiting for the appointed time

Fear not.

Too Good to be True

Tips to help treatment

Surrogacy: I call it a helping hand.

Benefit of Egg freezing

Frozen eggs beats fertility treatment for women. according to post in Futility today.

The number of US women having children at older ages has been increasing for three decades, with evidence that the trend will continue. Birth rates have declined for women in their 20s and jumped for women in their late 30s and early 40s, according to the US Census Bureau. The average age at first birth has risen from 19 years old in 1984 to 30 years old in 2021 and is higher in many metropolitan areas.

See stores for more

GOT A BIG STONE PROBLEM?

Back when my girls were still little, they often like picking up all sorts of strange things when we go out walking.

Like weeds which they call flowers, stones, which they call gold, papers, unusual items etc.

During one of those walks, we happened to come across a construction site, by the side of the road was a stone, they took turns trying to lift it, but couldn’t.‘mummy you try’, they chorused. I picked it up easily to their delight. mummy’s got powers they screamed.

It was a little stone to me but a big one to them.

This got me thinking, the problems we often face (infertility) seems immovable and enormous like stones we can’t shift or lift.

Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of Jesus and Salome had a big stone problem. On the 3rd day of Jesus’s death, they brought spices to anoint his body, on their way to the tomb they wondered amongst themselves: ‘Who shall roll away the stone away, it was very great.

As they made their way to the tomb, I imagined, it suddenly dawned on them, that none of them can roll the stone away. They have to anoint his body, now a stone STOOD in their way. Perhaps they considered who amongst Jesus’s friends to call for help.

Peters? ‘No, he’s no good, have you seen the state of him since the master was killed?’ Guilt has eaten him up.

James?

John?

Andrew? And one by one they eliminated the disciples. I am sure they considered going back, they must have, they had no tools, no help, and a big stone.

Should we go back? Let’s just continue, “we have come too far to turn back now”.

The question remains “Who will roll away the stone”?

Maybe it was Mary the mother of Jesus who insisted on carrying on, maybe something Jesus told her kept her going? Maybe she just wanted to be near her dear son.

Imagine their reaction when they got to the tomb to find that their problem had gone, “the stone has been rolled away”. Surprised, shocked, worry, fear, all kinds of emotions must have coursed through them.

Who will roll away the stone?

Became, who rolled the stone away?

What happened to him? Has someone taken him?

Now imagine their joy when they learn he’s alive!!!, the stone was rolled away by his mighty power, and he’s alive. Wow, not only was the stone rolled away, their greatest problem was solved, “Jesus is alive”.

Often we get to the end of ourselves only to discover that He has taken care of it all, our deepest fear of being without a child, a husband, living with that illness, a job.

No matter how big your stone, trust in the master who knows your end from the beginning.

What seems like a might problem to you is nothing to him, he will not only roll your stone away, he will bring you out ALIVE, unscathed, safe and secured.

Keep going, pin your hopes on him, He’s got all power, He will roll away every stone like problem.

Dark clouds will roll away and your night will turn to day. Tears to Joy. Hold out and he will bring you through.

This Easter, have you got a stone like problem? Cling to the master who rolls always heavy stones.

Your Partner in Hope

Debi

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Celebratory seasons, A Glimpse of Hope

mother’s Day/Others Day?

Here in the UK, we celebrate mother’s day on the 27th March of every year. It may be a different day wherever you are but one thing remains the same, for the women waiting, the feeling is the same.

That feeling of uncertainty, of wondering, not knowing, feeling of abandonment.

No matter where you on your journey, I salute you, your steadfastness, strength, your resilience in the face of pain and uncertainty.

For anyone who is currently waiting to be a mother, celebrating mothers doesn’t inspire joy in you, rather it does the opposite, it brings tears, isolation and dread, that maybe you may never experience being celebrated. 

You are an over comer, you have overcome the stigma and shame, the sorrows and the fear, the dread of tomorrow and you are now on your way to being more. So keep your hopes alive and continue to have faith.

You are an encouragement, a winner and you will one day tell your story of how you overcome.

To you I say Happy Mother’s Day.

Your Partner In Hope

D’Ebi

Related. Celebrating Mother’s day, Blessings In Waiting, Presents and Kids Hope does not bring shame. Does God Forgets