What’s In A Name.

Choosing a name for your child will be one of the most exciting things you will have to do while you wait. 

We didn’t pick names until we were expecting and even then, we waited well into the pregnancy, and only decided on names after our babies were born. 

Some already know what to call their new born. It maybe a family name. A name after a grandparent, or someone important whom they want to honour by naming their child after them.

Mary and Joseph had no such problem. The name of Jesus was chosen by God. They didn’t have to debate or research appropriate names for Him.

God chose the name “Jesus” because his name was to be exactly what it means.

  1. Jesus – saviour. 

  1. Immanuel – God with us. 

  1. Wonderful Counsellor – one who guides and leads His children in the right path 

  1. The Everlasting Father. – a father who is there all all times 

  1. The prince of Peace. – Does exactly want it says. He brings us peace. 

As you ponder over the name for your child, think on the name of Christ. 

What does He mean to you? 

Infertility is a name but the name of Jesus is “wonderful counsellor, he will counsel you in making the right choices.

He will be with you during dark and disappointing days.

He will be your “prince of peace” during the turmoil of your infertility journey. 

As you await another surgery,. Think of  His name,

“God With Us”. He is Always With Us holding you and working out his best plans for you. 

As you contemplate the future wondering if it will ever come to pass. Remember He is the prince of peace. Invite His peace into your heart. 

His peace passes all understanding, You will be at peace with your future because he who brings peace will never leave you and will bring His Perfect plan for you to be.  

This Christmas, know that the name of Jesus is more than a name, His name is the everlasting father. Always there, loving, caring, comforting. 

Wishing You all a Merry Christmas 

Your Partner in Hope.

D’Ebi. 

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Good News of Great Joy

And the angel said to them, do not be afraid for I bring you good news of great joy. Luke 2:10

Expecting something and receiving it does not diminish the we joy we get from the gift.

My kids always write their Christmas list. they pretty much know what gifts they will receive on Christmas day. Receiving it doesn’t stop them from being excited.

I also know what I will receive and I am always excited to unwrap the paper and see my chosen gift.

The angels announced the gift that will bring us good news of great joy.

The promised Advent. saviour brought great Joy. His arrival did not diminish the joy felt when the angel saw him.

This is a sign that whatever promises we are expecting, and holding on to, it will be one that will bring great joy.

Though the wait may seem long as the years roll on, hold on to his promises for when it comes, it will be one of great joy.

The length of the wait will not diminish the joy that comes with the promise.

Just hold on, look with expectations to the promise that is coming which will bring great joy.

Your Partner in Hope.

D’Ebi

Related post

Advent: Day 7, His perfect plan.

Our Hope This Easter

Christmas promise

Advent: Day 7, His perfect plan.

Continuing on in the season of advent 

Joseph  thought he’d lost control of the situation 

When the young girl he was to be wedded found out she was pregnant.  

Her parents felt she had brought shame on them.

Both families I imagine, felt they had lost control of the situation. 

Their well laid plans appear to be in shambles. 

Like most parents, I imagined they questioned why.

“Why does he have to choose us”?, 

“How can we be so sure she’s carrying the messiah? 

“Who will believe she had a visit from the angel”?

Infertility, miscarriage, endometriosis, blocked tubes has scattered your best laid plans and presented you with an an uncertain future. 

Your diagnosis isn’t very good, although you continue to hold on. And it seems, the longer the wait the weaker your faith. you become unsure sure how much longer you can hold on.

Mary and Joseph didn’t know what was happening but chose to trust God’s plans.  His plans have a way of unfolding and working out for our good.

Maybe not exactly the way we expected, but in the end for our good. 

God could have waited for Mary and Joseph to be married before coming via a legitimate route. giving legitimacy to Christ’s birth, but he chose another way. 

It turns out His way was better than their plans. His plans unfolded right before their eyes and in the end was better than.

Your path towards parenting will unfold at the right time. Right now it seems like it may not happen, as you are faced with one setback after another. Continue to hope in God, this hope is not a wish but a certainty in the fulfilling of your heart’s desire.

This Christmas look to Jesus to find enduring hope and lasting peace.

Commit your worries and fears to hIm, your doubts cannot stop His plans from coming to pass. Nothing will.

He will bring His joy right into your situation and rest your heart while you wait. 

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Wishes vs Hope:

Joy After 𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗻

Advent.

Every year we enter this season but do you know what advent means?

During advent,  we reflect on the events leading up to the birth of Jesus. 

2020 is a year like no other, we all were affected by the pandemic in  different ways.

For those in waiting advent is the perfect time to reflect on all our needs, hopes and desires. 

More than wishing to be with families and friends we long for the fulfillment of our dream to hold our precious child: 

As we enter into a season of advent ponder on this verse in Isaiah 9:1.

If your heart is heavy think on these Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress.

Do you feel like you are walking in the dark with no light in sight?

be encouraged for “The people walking in darkness have seen a great light”;

Do you feel like there is no reason to be joyful? 

rejoice because He the Lord have enlarged the nation and increased their joy”;

So on this advent, flip on the switch of hope and hold onto the promise that the  messiah’s birth brings. His birth. advent reminds of of the hope his birth brings, His promises are sure, you can hold on to them. 

Your Partner in Hope 

Joy After 𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗻

Related post.

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/01/the-christmas-promised/

https://faithfulwait.com/2020/05/31/we-are-faced-with-one-of-the-worse-pandemic-in-modern-time-with-this-comes-the-uncertainty-faced-by-millions-of-couples-waiting-for-their-own-families-the-resilience-of-humans-to-cope-and-weather-t/

Tips on Staying Healthy.

It is no secret that the first lockdown came as a surprised. With no warning at all, countries around the world closed none essential businesses.

With most countries in Europe going into a second lockdown last week, we find ourselves in isolation one more time.

If you are alone and TTC, now is the perfect time to ramp up your fitness level. Winter months makes it harder to execise, but don’t pull back now. 

This post examines how to maintain our bodies and mind by staying fit during this second lockdown.

Particularly for women trying to conceive maintaining a healthy immune system can play a major role in boosting our chances of being pregnant. 

Here are a few suggested ways to staying healthy.

  1. Have a nutritious diet. The saying you are what you eat holds true. Having a diet rich in fiber, fruits and vegetables will ensure that your body is provided with vital nutrients it needs to fight, not only the winter blues but viruses. having a mediterranean style diet of low carbs and sugar, packed with leafy vegetables and oil has been proven to enhance infertility. These food types are packed with vitamins which are essential for fetal health.
  2. Regular exercise: exercise is just as important as it produces the feel good hormones, combined with a healthy diet, you can maintain a normal BMI. The NHS sees a BMI of 20-30 as a healthy normal body weight.
  3. Healthy mental well being: Execise produces the feel good hormones, endorphins. This improves our mental health greatly and releases us from the stress brought on by TTC. It is important to not over do it, If you are new to execise simple walking, Biking, swimming for half an hour a day is a good place to start. As you build up your fitness level you can then increase the intensity. The NHS recommends 150 moderate execise a week.
  4. Up your vitamins intake. Most adults who regularly consume a healthy meal will have sufficient vitamins levels. However vitamins D has been linked to a healthy immunity and 10 mins daily sun exposure is enough of our daily dose. However in colder months when we are less likely to be exposed to sunlight, it is recommended to take a Vitamin D supplement along with folic acid.
  5. Drop any bad habits like smoking and excessive consumption of alcohol. Several research studies have shown that these habits reduce one’s chances of falling pregnant.
  6. Reduce your stress levels: TTC is extremely stressful, but we have to constantly try to identify external stress triggers and reduce them. Take time daily to refocus by meditating. This frees your mind and calms you from within enhancing your mental health. Practice mindfulness, it is beneficial to maintaining a calm atmosphere around you.
  7. Positive Affirmation; This is another way of boosting your mental well being. positively proclaim good things about your self and body. Speak what you want to see, it can be a word. Hold on to it. Being positive about your situation, boosts your energy levels. It has been said that positive affirmation moves your body in the direction of your mind.
  8. finally, eat, pray and hope.

Your Partner in Hooe

D’Ebi

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The 2 weeks wait

Those who got pregnant naturally may not have heard of the two weeks wait.

I certainly was not anxiously waiting two weeks after falling pregnant with our second child to see if there was a positive test or not. It was 12 weeks after, I noticed I was late.

For those who have embarked on IVFs, the period immediately after egg transfer can be the most stress-filled days, it certainly was for me.

I was plague with questions like, what if this fails?

Endless questions like, why don’t i feel anything?

Every twinged was analyzed.

Every symptoms is interpreted as meaning something… a loss, especially having suffered miscarriage

So how do you survive this wait, how do you wait while you wait?

This post gives tips on what to do while waiting:

Do not obsess over every twinge, feelings and changes you notice.

You will feel differently from day to day, so save yourself the stress of ringing up your doctor whenever you think something is wrong.

I know this is a difficult task, but doing the next few steps will help.

  1. Take up an interest, this may seem like the most unlikely time to start something new, but doing something new can has focus your mind and in the process reduce the anxiety of having to constantly fixate on what is happening during the wait. There are lots of sites offering short courses on a varied range of interests .
  2. Walks: This is not the time to go for intensive exercise classes, but you can go for short walks in the woods and admire nature’s beauty.
  3. Yoga: IVF takes so much out of you and yoga is a great way to center your senses.It is great for relaxing and also focuses your mind on being calm as you concentrate on your breathing. Yoga relaxes you into calmness which lingers afterwards.
  4. I took up reflexology during my wait and often come away feeling relaxed. There are great work out videos on youtube.
  5. Learn how to cook a new dish. The process of researching, selecting, preparing the ingredients, peeling, cutting, cleaning the ingredients, engages the mind and also fills you with a sense of achievement. The very motion of cooking engages a different part of the brain. Invite friends over and share the meals with them. laughter and banter with others will do you a world of good.
  6. plan a date with your partner: Fingers crossed everything will go well and this maybe the last few weeks of being alone before your little baby comes. So enjoy the moment and do little stuff together.
  7. Start your diary and begin to write about your IVF experiences, you never know who this may help in future. I kept a dairy of my fertility journey which has formed the basis of this blog.
  8. Get going on that to do list you have been meaning to get to, be careful not to do any heavy lifting. Dusting and tidying of drawers and wardrobe are simple chores to get busy with.
  9. Adult doodle is a great way to pass the time. There are lots of inspirational doodle books around, these are great for lifting your spirits and as you color in the pages imagine your life being beautified by your little one.
  10. positive affirmation. this a way of focusing on the positive and a good practice to engage in, long after IVF. Simply refuse to dwell on the negative, you have nothing to loose and everything to gain by being positive so be full of hope.

Above all hold on to hope, you have come this far there is no need to worry now.
Seek out your support net work, it may be that one friend or a group you are path of, be in constant communication with them so as not to allow your self to drift off into negative and panicking territory.

The journey stared with that first push of the needle and will end with a beautiful baby.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Relevant Post

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/09/27/ivf-process-step-by-step/

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/05/29/the-pain-of-miscarriage/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/08/13/single-women-and-ivf/

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/06/fearful-wait/

Sharing: Dealing with Miscarriage

The loss of a child is indescribable.

Chrissy and John Lenon lost their baby boy half way through their pregnancy and she’s shared her pain with millions of her followers. This has shed more light on the issue.

Miscarriage happens in 1 in 4 pregnancies, with lost occurring before 12 weeks. There are 250,000 miscarriages every year in the U.K.

She has been praised by charities for sharing her pain and heartbreak, even though she’s has been criticised for sharing so publicity. I think she’s brave and courageous, and I applaud her for her strength. 

The pain of miscarriage is so heavy and No one should suffer alone, posting about her loss gave courage to millions of women who also posted comments about their loss and how her openness helps them relate and deal with their pain. 

Her pain reminded me of the 2 miscarriages i suffered after 2 failed IVFs. I was numb for a few days each time as I bled out my babies. And the very thought of knowing it can happen again left me scared.

Miscarriage leaves a hole, a fear, an uncertain feeling deep down in ones guts.. 

Even after having two beautiful daughters, news like Chrissy’s always reminds me of those dark days. 

Although i no longer grieve, I do remember.  

Have you suffered loss, do not keep quiet, share your pain if you so choose, email us, leave a comment and we will lend a listening ear. We will cry with you and sit still with you. Grieve, don’t bottle it up.

Grieving is a natural way of reacting to devastating news.

Like a butterfly you flutter in my womb
like a womb you wriggle and turn.
I came to know you and love you so deeply
I saw our future as one big loop of love
your little feet truffled around 
your little face as it filled up with a smile
i saw your face before you saw mine will lill hold that still still we meet again. 

Holding out Hope to John and Chrissy and the milking who are grieving right now. 

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Read More »

IVF:Stages to egg implantation

  1. Meeting with Team: this is the initial consultation with the clinic to go throughout process.
  2. The process: The woman will be given medication to suppress her normal menstrual cycle. This is usually given for 2 weeks. My first cycle was a nasal spray but the final cycle was an injection which I learned to inject myself. After which step 3 begins
  3. Boosting the egg supply: This will include stimulation of the ovaries to produce more eggs than usual, to increase the number of eggs for fertility. You will be given a fertility hormone called follicle stimulating hormone (FSH). This is also a daily injection you give yourself or your partner can assist if they want to be involved and feel connected to the process. It’s usually for 10-12 days.
  4. Monitoring. you will be monitored while on the FSH, some clinics will scan every 2 days while others maybe twice weekly during the process. The monitoring may be ultrasound scans to monitor the size of the ovaries, blood test or both. The ovaries are usually measured to see how big the eggs are and a final hormone boost may be given 34-38 hours prior to collection.
  5. Collecting the eggs: Eggs are usually collected on days 10 or 12 depending on the sizes/ how well the ovaries have been stimulated. collecting is usually done under local anesthetic where you will be sedated. A needle is passed through the vagina into each ovary under ultrasound guidance. This procedure may take 15-20 minutes. You may experience cramp or light bleeding afterwards.
  6. Fertilizing the eggs: Once the eggs are collected they are mixed with your partners or the donor sperm in the lab. They are checked after 16-20 hours to see if Fertilization has occurred.
  7. In some cases the eggs may be injected individually with a sperm called ICSI.
  8. Egg Monitoring: The embryos are left to continue to grow for 6 days before being transferred into the womb. The best 2 are usually selected to be transferred.
  9. Embryo Transfer: The embargo’s are transferred into the womb using a thin tube called a catheter passed into the vagina. The procedure is quite simple and doesn’t involve any sedation.
  10. Then began the 2 weeks wait. see next post for how to cope.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Related post

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/05/11/a-woman-in-waiting/

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/07/11/surviving-treatment/

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/09/22/exploring-other-options/

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/10/26/choosing-an-ivf-clinic/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/03/31/it-only-takes-one-egg/

An Uncommon Cause:Adenomyosis

The causes of infertility are varied and can also be missed or mildly diagnosed. 

Before our 3rd IVF treatment I was not particularly diagnosed as infertile but was classed as unknown cause and prescribed clomid, an hormone stimulating drug to stimulate my ovaries to produce more eggs. 

This  did not work and so the process of fertility treatment started with no specific diagnosis.

I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, and always felt this may have an impact on why we were not getting pregnant. We were fortunate enough to find a clinic that looked after our particular circumstances. 

Some women may not have a specific diagnosis but will have to go through the IVF process and be successful. While others may have several attempts without success. 

This was the experience Gabrielle Union had,  in an interview with the stylist she  talked about how she went undiagnosed through multiple rounds of IVF, with different leading doctors.

She suffered from a condition called adenomyosis

According to the NHS, this is a condition where the cells of the lining of the womb are found in the muscles wall of the womb (myometrium). The condition affects 1 in 10 women.

The most common symptoms are 

Heavy or painful periods,

Premenstrual pelvic pain. 

Feeling of heavy/discomfort in the pelvic.

Less common symptoms are:

Painful sexual intercross.

Pain related to bowel movement.

It can occur in women who still have periods but are common in women aged 40-50 and in women who have had children.

The cause of adenomyosis is unknown but It is believed that it may be related to genes, hormones and the immune system. 

Adenomyosis will not present itself as other causes of Infertility and about a third of women will not have any symptoms. 

It is not routinely diagnosed and may be found during a routine scan. Hence the reason lots of women may go undiagnosed. 

Like other causes of infertility, this is a condition which affects several areas of a woman’s life, their emotional well-being, relationships, and daily routines. It is disheartening to know that this is only coincidentally found during a routine scan.

Reason for delay in diagnosis is due to the fact that some women have no symptoms at all, hence a routine scan may be the first indication of a problem. 

Women have different symptoms and these symptoms may be due to other illnesses as well,  such as (pelvic inflammatory disease or irritable bowel syndrome).

The similarities to this illness and other diseases means that many women suffer infertility for years without being diagnosed, and diagnosis may be late in coming at a time when many have given up hope or are in menopause.

For Ms Union, her doctor delves into her past as a young woman asking lots of questions about her menstrual cycle, which led to her diagnosis. 

What to do if you suspect or have any of the symptoms above.

Speak to your doctor about your experiences with your periods, request for an MRI scan (magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), this will produce a picture of the inside of your body

Available treatments 

Get the details about the available treatment before making a decision. 

The delay in diagnosis unfortunately has led to lack of treatment specific to the illness. the symptoms rather than causes can be treated with prescription for heavy or painful periods. 

  • If you suffer from  heavy or painful periods, you may be prescribed non hormonal medicines like tranexamic acid and mefanamic acid).

  • Contraceptive pills to stop bleeding.

  • Induce false menopause by injection, causing her lining of three women to shrink.( No usually for long term use).

  • Uterine artery embolisation – injecting tiny particles into the blood vessels, the aim is to cut off the blood supply to the adenomyosis. This is less invasive and may help to prevent infertility. But symptoms may return in future.

In Gabieller’s experience, she was diagnosed after several failed IVFs and only a change of doctor and detailed investigation led to the correct diagnosis. 

Her doctor was honest and after explaining the difficulty she’s faced, prescribed Lupron.

Although Lupron gives a 30% chance of pregnancy, . they decided against it in favour of surrogacy and are now the happy parent to a beautiful baby girl.

Next Step.

Remain persistent with your doctor, you need to be responsible for your health and well being so do not settle for a simple explanation if you have failed after several attempts. 

Do not be discouraged if your doctor dismissed your concerns. Ask for  a second opinion.

The party parliamentary group on women’s health revealed a lack of awareness on what is considered a ‘normal menstruation’ may that indicates a more serious issue.

  • Explore other options earlier on in your fertility journey and avoid delays which may lead to difficulties later on. 

Do all that is within your capabilities to get pregnant and hope for a successful end. 

I hope you have been better informed by this and inspired by the story of Gabrielle Union not to give up.

 If you suspect your symptoms are those described above you can find more from the adenomyosis association’s website at www.adenomysisassociation.org

For more help and advice contact the NHS choice at www.nhs.uk

Your partner in hope

D’Ebi

Related content 

https://faithfulwait.com/2020/03/10/surrogacy-finding-a-surrogate/

https://faithfulwait.com/2020/02/29/surrogacy-i-call-it-a-helping-hand/

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/06/13/causes-of-infertility-in-men/

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/01/20/whatever-you-do-dont-stop-trying/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/08/13/single-women-and-ivf/