Category: Christmas

Celebratory seasons

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Every year we celebrate all kinds of occasions, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, halloween, thanksgiving and christmas.

These season can be triggers for the couple in waiting, because without fail, we see parents adore their young kids with outfit and proudly shows them off.

I did the same when my girls were still little. without thought for how my waiting friends feels. No one intentionally parades their kids to cause distress, we all do it from a place of joy.

But I understand the pain and agony these images can cause. The despair cause by your failed attempt to get pregnant, the repeated miscarriage and the loss of a child.

When I was waiting I discovered that more than seeing friends or pregnant women, the seasons of celebration is the hardest one to face.

There is no escaping the gaiety in the air as you watch friends, dress up with their babies, teens, sons or daughters in teamed outfit.

O the tug at your heart strings as you imagine how you will dress your baby. You build a picture and hold on to the hope that it will one day be you dressing up your child.

These image seems to diminish as the years go by.

And every year as you watch others with their tiny little babies dress up for school plays for halloween themed party for thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, you hide in floods of tears, loathing another celebratory season.

I am reminded by this passage in Psalm 143:8. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love.

Yes seasons may come and go and our desires tarries, but God’s word never changes.

Anchor your hopes to it and hold on, let each celebratory season remind you of His unfailing love and as we approach Christmas when you will have to face Santa and school plays, remember his birth is the reason we are here but his death and resurrection is a promise that we can hold on to his promise, that he will grant us our hearts desires.

For if he did not withhold his Son from us, he will give us freely our hearts desires.

Peace.

Your partner in hope.

Debi

Other related post:

A little town

Trust and Joy in mist of pain

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What’s In A Name.

D'EbiLeave a comment

Choosing a name for your child will be one of the most exciting things you will have to do while you wait. 

We didn’t pick names until we were expecting and even then, we waited well into the pregnancy, and only decided on names after our babies were born. 

Some already know what to call their new born. It maybe a family name. A name after a grandparent, or someone important whom they want to honour by naming their child after them.

Mary and Joseph had no such problem. The name of Jesus was chosen by God. They didn’t have to debate or research appropriate names for Him.

God chose the name “Jesus” because his name was to be exactly what it means.

  1. Jesus – saviour. 

  1. Immanuel – God with us. 

  1. Wonderful Counsellor – one who guides and leads His children in the right path 

  1. The Everlasting Father. – a father who is there all all times 

  1. The prince of Peace. – Does exactly want it says. He brings us peace. 

As you ponder over the name for your child, think on the name of Christ. 

What does He mean to you? 

Infertility is a name but the name of Jesus is “wonderful counsellor, he will counsel you in making the right choices.

He will be with you during dark and disappointing days.

He will be your “prince of peace” during the turmoil of your infertility journey. 

As you await another surgery,. Think of  His name,

“God With Us”. He is Always With Us holding you and working out his best plans for you. 

As you contemplate the future wondering if it will ever come to pass. Remember He is the prince of peace. Invite His peace into your heart. 

His peace passes all understanding, You will be at peace with your future because he who brings peace will never leave you and will bring His Perfect plan for you to be.  

This Christmas, know that the name of Jesus is more than a name, His name is the everlasting father. Always there, loving, caring, comforting. 

Wishing You all a Merry Christmas 

Your Partner in Hope.

D’Ebi. 

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Good News of Great Joy

D'Ebi1 Comment

And the angel said to them, do not be afraid for I bring you good news of great joy. Luke 2:10

Expecting something and receiving it does not diminish the we joy we get from the gift.

My kids always write their Christmas list. they pretty much know what gifts they will receive on Christmas day. Receiving it doesn’t stop them from being excited.

I also know what I will receive and I am always excited to unwrap the paper and see my chosen gift.

The angels announced the gift that will bring us good news of great joy.

The promised Advent. saviour brought great Joy. His arrival did not diminish the joy felt when the angel saw him.

This is a sign that whatever promises we are expecting, and holding on to, it will be one that will bring great joy.

Though the wait may seem long as the years roll on, hold on to his promises for when it comes, it will be one of great joy.

The length of the wait will not diminish the joy that comes with the promise.

Just hold on, look with expectations to the promise that is coming which will bring great joy.

Your Partner in Hope.

D’Ebi

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Advent: Day 7, His perfect plan.

D'EbiLeave a comment

Continuing on in the season of advent 

Joseph  thought he’d lost control of the situation 

When the young girl he was to be wedded found out she was pregnant.  

Her parents felt she had brought shame on them.

Both families I imagine, felt they had lost control of the situation. 

Their well laid plans appear to be in shambles. 

Like most parents, I imagined they questioned why.

“Why does he have to choose us”?, 

“How can we be so sure she’s carrying the messiah? 

“Who will believe she had a visit from the angel”?

Infertility, miscarriage, endometriosis, blocked tubes has scattered your best laid plans and presented you with an an uncertain future. 

Your diagnosis isn’t very good, although you continue to hold on. And it seems, the longer the wait the weaker your faith. you become unsure sure how much longer you can hold on.

Mary and Joseph didn’t know what was happening but chose to trust God’s plans.  His plans have a way of unfolding and working out for our good.

Maybe not exactly the way we expected, but in the end for our good. 

God could have waited for Mary and Joseph to be married before coming via a legitimate route. giving legitimacy to Christ’s birth, but he chose another way. 

It turns out His way was better than their plans. His plans unfolded right before their eyes and in the end was better than.

Your path towards parenting will unfold at the right time. Right now it seems like it may not happen, as you are faced with one setback after another. Continue to hope in God, this hope is not a wish but a certainty in the fulfilling of your heart’s desire.

This Christmas look to Jesus to find enduring hope and lasting peace.

Commit your worries and fears to hIm, your doubts cannot stop His plans from coming to pass. Nothing will.

He will bring His joy right into your situation and rest your heart while you wait. 

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Wishes vs Hope:

Joy After 𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗻

Advent.

D'EbiLeave a comment

Every year we enter this season but do you know what advent means?

During advent,  we reflect on the events leading up to the birth of Jesus. 

2020 is a year like no other, we all were affected by the pandemic in  different ways.

For those in waiting advent is the perfect time to reflect on all our needs, hopes and desires. 

More than wishing to be with families and friends we long for the fulfillment of our dream to hold our precious child: 

As we enter into a season of advent ponder on this verse in Isaiah 9:1.

If your heart is heavy think on these Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress.

Do you feel like you are walking in the dark with no light in sight?

be encouraged for “The people walking in darkness have seen a great light”;

Do you feel like there is no reason to be joyful? 

“rejoice because He the Lord have enlarged the nation and increased their joy”;

So on this advent, flip on the switch of hope and hold onto the promise that the  messiah’s birth brings. His birth. advent reminds of of the hope his birth brings, His promises are sure, you can hold on to them. 

Your Partner in Hope 

Joy After 𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗻

Related post.

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/01/the-christmas-promised/

https://faithfulwait.com/2020/05/31/we-are-faced-with-one-of-the-worse-pandemic-in-modern-time-with-this-comes-the-uncertainty-faced-by-millions-of-couples-waiting-for-their-own-families-the-resilience-of-humans-to-cope-and-weather-t/

Presents and Kids

D'EbiLeave a comment

The months and weeks leading up to Christmas can be a difficult time for the trying couple or family.

I use to keep away from the city centres because I did not want to be greeted with all the beautifully wrapped kids presents.

I couldn’t bear to look at them. It was too painful. I had no child, but there they were, months and weeks before Christmas inviting shoppers to get something for their kids.

It is difficult not to feel a pang of pain knowing that this year you won’t be getting a present for your child.

It is particularly difficult if you have lost a child you once use to buy presents for.

As you go through this season of Christmas I want to remind you that this is a season of hope, love and peace.

Jesus was born to replace our pain with joy. Joy may not be what you are experiencing right now but He also brings hope.

During this time I was encouraged by what the bible says:

In psalms 146:5, God is my hope. He is my help enabling me face each day. He is faithful forever V6, and lifts those who are down. V8.

I certainly did not feel hopeful during those times but as I begin to acknowledge that he is my helper I began to experience relief from despair, my mood lightens and I am able to find strength to partake in the celebration of His birth

My encouragement to you today is to find your hope in God.

As the season unfolds, sometimes you may be filled with moments of joy and may experience intense pain.

remember He promises to be our light in darkness and our hope for the future.

Now I have two girls and there is no end to the presents..

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Related Reading:

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/05/infertility-a-lonely-journey/

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/03/comfort-joy-in-the-mist-of-infertility/

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/01/the-christmas-promised/

Always With Us

D'EbiLeave a comment

Over the course of my life I have no doubt that an unseen hand has guided my path. From the first time I experienced the pains of Arthritis as a 9 year old, to when I was ran over by a car as a 10 year old.

As a little girl growing up in a Christian home I always felt love and cared for by my earthly parents and my Heavenly Father, but it was during the most trying times of my life as an adult waiting for a child I experienced my God with me moments.

God has been with me, every step of the way. Sometimes I felt him really close, other times I could not perceive him.

I never doubted that he was with me when I was hurting and really needed a hug, I knew he was there.

The pain of not knowing when or how was more than the physical ailment. At times I screamed other times I was quiet, my pain etched on my face, tears muffled by sadness.

I struggled with the pain often not being able to do simple chores, how was I supposed to take care of a child.

I reasoned that maybe God didn’t want me to suffer anymore pain than I already had, hence the delay of not having a child.

Somehow he encouraged me with this thought which gave me peace in the moment.

When I eventually had my first daughter and my body collapsed with pains after 3 months, not being able to physically hold or carry my longed for baby, it was those lonely nights of tears I felt him close that I knew without doubt that Immanuel “God With Us”, had a bigger plan for me, he was with me every moment of pain I felt.

When I was told I had to be on a very potent drug to control arthritis after the birth of my second daughter.

An encouraging word or text message or a simple gentle breeze will come to remind me that I am not alone.

God has been with me from the day I stepped into this world.

As you tread this sometimes lonely road of infertility wondering who have you got, or how your story will end, remember that This Child of Bethlehem was the promised company to us in our time of need.

As you celebrate this Christmas morning, open your heart to him and he will be with you till the end.

Merry Christmas

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

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Unplanned Pregnancy

D'EbiLeave a comment

The planning, dreaming, scheming and hopes of the future can be seen in the eyes of newly wedded couples.

They have plans, written and spoke.

Where To live, jobs and career plans, places to visit, number of children to have.

Once settled and and the stage is set for children then begin the wait.

As months turns into years it begins to dawn on them that their plans isn’t going according to script.

We soon realise our plans have fallen through after several test, appointments and disappointments. The dreams and hopes begin to grow deem.

Mary had plans to wed Joseph her sweet heart, only for those plans to be scuppered by an unplanned pregnancy. An unwed mother, what scandal, how will she face the world? Joseph was definitely going to leave her.

Explaining why you remain childless is one of the hardest thing to do. how do you respond to the the unspoken accusation, the questioning looks, the side remarks and unkind comments.

How do you explain that this isn’t part of your plan? This isn’t how it was supposed to turn out.

To us and those around us, the waiting doesn’t make any sense. Just as being a pregnant virgin did not make sense to anyone.

Who was going to believe she was carrying the Messiah, the saviour of the world.

Mary yielded herself to God and trusted that his plans for her are perfect.

Do you feel like your plans for a baby has been hijacked? let the story of a virgin Mum inspire you. Believe that the end of your story holds something good.

For the best laid plans are those planned by the master.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Fearful Wait.

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Do I dare to hope?

Do I dare believe?

Do I dare trust that it will all work out?

Do I dare take a peek at the future?

Do I dare dream that this will be a reality?

The story of the waiting soul goes through endless questions which may seem stupid?

Hope, faith and trusts don’t come easily to the soul that’s weary from waiting.

The roller coaster of emotions we feel is as a result of the uncertain brought on my our demise.

I remember how I felt after being told “my condition was unexplained”. I couldn’t get the thought that medicine had no explanation for my ailment. I was deeply troubled. How can I embark on a treatment without knowing the cause?

I had questions without answer. I feared that I was going to face life without kids. Every appointment was fear filled, every test result waited upon with apprehension,

Fear and uncertainty are constant companion to those waiting.

Mary the mother of Jesus was afraid at the news that she was to become an unwed mother to the promised Messiah.

So many thought ran through her mind.

“Fear Not”, said the angel.

She was reassured it would be alright and she held on to that word.

Fear not fellow travellers, when the road seem endless and you become weary from waiting.

Release your fears to the messiah and he will soothe them away.

Trust the path he has chosen for you and walk in faith.

Your Partner in Hope.

D’Ebi

Infertility: A lonely Journey

D'Ebi1 Comment

I grabbed a magazine and waited my turn in the Dr’s waiting room. I decided against reading and instead struck up a conversation with the lady next to me. We immediately bonded and exchanged tales of our plight. Half way Into the conversation she commented, it’s so lonely though, to which I replied,  yes it can be.

I previously shared how lonely infertility can  be here; Christmas and waiting:: Although we do have friends and family who care, when it comes down to it the pain of disappointment is all yours, nobody else’s. The trips,  appointments for endless test and procedures are all yours. Just you and your partner’s as the case maybe

How do you explain a pain so deep to those who are not in it. How do you explain the constant tears, how do you talk about the ache from that first, second and third loss? It is unexplainably and our reaction to it is can also seem unreasonable.

Loneliness at Christmas is especially pronounced. Sitting at the dinner table with the laughter of nieces and nephews only serves to highlight the empty nest waiting for you back home.

If you feel especially lonely now or at any other time, remember the name ”IMMANUEL”. Meaning God with us.

This is one of the names of the promised Messiah. “God with us.

He is with us

In the waiting room,

At the dinner table,

At the operating theatre,

As we suffer another miscarriage

As we face the questioning stares and audible alterations of others.

The promised Messiah is with us. Holding, soothing, caring and reassuring us.

His presence brings peace, hope, joy and answers.

He was certainly my hope and strength during my wait. I had his presence which gave me strength every step of the way. Some people questioned my lack of intense misery and mistook my inability to conceive as a conscious decision not to have kids. The opposite was true.

I exhibited my pains in his presence and he in turn he infused me with joy for the journey as a result of his presence, the journey was no longer lonely. I can talk with him and pour out my heart to him because he is with me.

Be encouraged today, the promised child is the risen saviour who is always with you. You can count on his present as you journey through Infertility.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

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