Reason To Celebrate

My best friends birthday was approaching, It was a significant milestone. I remembered planning ahead trying to figure out what we’re going to do for her.

I contacted her to find out what she had planned, I persisted in asking her until she said “I won’t be having any celebration”.

I sort of expected it because I’ve known for over 20 years and I have never celebrated a birthday with her or celebrated her birthday. I knew her reasons. However, I did not think that such a milestone would go uncelebrated.

She’s single and not currently in a relationship, she’s approaching the age where having children is considered risky, she’s premenopausal. She is in between jobs and between homes.

The last few years have been really difficult for her having lost her dad, which means both parents will not be around when and if she eventually gets married and have children.

Lack of success and achievement in certain areas of our lives, leaves us disappointed and robbed.

You too may be asking yourself as Christmas approaches, what’s there to celebrate?

Our lives are measured by our achievements, the absence of which deemed us failures.

There is a perceived natural progression of ones life, grow up, go to school, meet your partner, graduate, get married, have children and live happily ever after.

As I’ve come to know, life isn’t always a straight line from A to Z. Life will take you from N to B and, from S to W and back again from V to K.

Live doesn’t give you what you order, God does. Life doesn’t give you what you expect, faith in God does. Life doesn’t give you what you think you should have, trust and hope in God does.

And as a result of not getting to those milestones we decide what, when to celebrate and how to celebrate.

Celebration is not about things. We celebrate because we look inside ourselves and we know that regardless of where we are and how far we still have to go, we have a reason to be thankful because a lot of people did not get as far as we have come.

We are thankful because against all odds, are still standing. we reflect on the good we have in our lives.

 I want to encourage you today,  If you find yourself void of joy, void of any enthusiasm to celebrate let the births of Christ inspire you.

What is there to celebrate?

For starters, your health, Your amazing support group, The families in your life. For the strength to keep going, your nieces and nephews, for your job.

Count your blessings, and let your focus well on God’s goodness, not on the absence of should have been.

Our cup is not half empty but half full.

This Christmas rejoice in the fullness of joy that Christ brought when he came into our world. This is why we celebrate.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

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What is Going On?

How often have you wondered what’s going on in your life, how did I get here? How am I going to get out of it? How will it all turn out?

It is often the case, going through infertility leaves us with countless questions.

There’s also someone who wondered about what was going on in her life.

Mary was a little girl from a little village she was betrothed to be married and she was suddenly pregnant.

I imagine many a night Mary ponded what was going on with her? She wondered about her future even though the Angel told her she was carrying the saviour, I imagine in a quietness of her heart,

She had to still process it all. She must have faced doubt even as she progressed in her pregnancy

I imagine she was plagued with so many questions. I don’t think the angels kept coming to reassure her, that the child she was carrying is actually the saviour. There were no account of angels coming month after month to encourage her. Mary trusted God and held him to that promise.

I imagine Mary processed what was going on as she looked at her changing body day and night, contended with knowing and questioning looks from those around her. I imagine even Jospeh’s family may have wondered and she may have wondered as well what on earth do they think happened..

Yes, infertility and what Mary experienced are worlds apart, but nevertheless there are some lessons to draw from Mary’s experience:

Have you pondered what’s going on? Worried about knowing looks, about your aging body? Worried about what the future holds and how you will deal with it?

As I have frequently said in this place we don’t know the future, we don’t know how our story will end, all we can do is hold onto God’s promises.

Has he told you anything? Ponder over them. Has he promised you something? Ponder over it and trust Him completely With your future.

Just like Mary let your soul Him for his wonderful promise which will be fulfilled in your life.

Your Partner in Hope.

D’Ebi

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True Light

In The western world it is reported that lights the will be rationed as the cost of living crisis looms which has affected the cost of living.

What this may entails is that some people might have lights during the day and others during the night.

As one who previously lived in Africa And experience extended period of darkness, both day and night, living Without electricity or being in darkness isn’t pleasant.

I also know having lights, transforms the atmosphere, light give life, brings a  spring to one’s steps. Light gives excitement,  light makes vision  better as everything becomes clearer. Back then in African, whenever light comes back on, our collective mood is transformed, we scream for joy.

The opposite is true when we experience darkness, our joy is decreased, our spirit is down.

This Christmas we have decided to limit the decorations outside our house to just two items . The nativity scene and Angels immediately lit up our front lawn, what a beautiful sight.

 Jesus is the true light of Christmas.Jesus in your heart will bring hope and joy.

He said, I am the light of the world, whoever follows me, will never walk in darkness but have the light of life. Jesus in your heart and your situation will replace the dark and gloomy feeling of depression.

Everyone gravitates towards a tiny candle for the light it brings. So let the light of God’s son, shine through you to others. Be a model example for all to see regardless of your situation.

If you make Jesus the Lord of your life he said, those who walk with him we’ll never see darkness.

As a child of God, you will  never have to stumble around in darkness, wondering what will be and we can boldly step into our world as light, because we carry the light of life in us Jesus.

We can be encouraged in our situation because we know we carry the light of God that illuminates our darkness and shines in our heart, dispelling every myth and sadness and threatens to drag us down to the lowest debts of darkness.

Your Partner in Hope

This Christmas Celebratory seasonscelebrate Him, as the true light of the world that brings hope.

D’Ebi

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The Christmas Miracle

The birth of Jesus was told over 680 years before he was actually born. God told the prophet Isaiah that a saviour would be born to a virgin mother. That didn’t happen for hundreds of years after the promise was given.

Did God forget to do what he told Isaiah? No.

Did he change his mind? No.

Did he make a mistake? No

I often wonder weather Isaiah felt despondent about the fulfilment of that promise.

God told him something, he knew it was God talking to him. Yet he did not see it fulfilled in his lifetime.

Isaiah must have felt unhappy, sad, and questioned if he had actually heard from God. I imagined that he even doubted what God said, would happen.

His feelings didn’t stop or delay the promise because when God says a thing, he always bring it to pass regardless of the time. Because he’s working on his timeline not on ours.

Isaiah’s doubt did hinder God. Of course we were not told that he felt this way, this is my imagination. I believe as a human being, he may have felt some form of disappointment at not seeing the promise come to pass.

So let me encourage you as you continue to wait for what you’ve heard God said to you, your doubts, discouragement, tears and even your seemingly faithlessness will not stop God because His promises will always come to pass. He is not a man that he should lie.

Just hold on, for Just like the Christmas story came to pass and a miracle baby was born hundreds of years after he was promised, so will your promise child be born in your lifetime because God is faithful.

Isaiah was the prophet God used by to foretell of his coming son. Be encouraged, that which you have been promised will come to pass.

Your partner in hope

Debi

Christmas and waiting, Advent: Season of Hope,

Celebratory seasons, Advent: Walking in Our shoes, Ad, The Christmas Promise

Advent: Walking in Our shoes

The story of Christmas is about Jesus coming as a baby. I have written about how the festivities surrounding this time of the year isn’t the reason he came.

One of the reasons he came was to step in to our world, to experience what it is like to be human.

The expression walking in someone’s else’s shoe is so apt here.

The Christ of Christmas came and lived amongst us, saw you in your world, your ache, your pain of waiting, witness the ache you felt from loss.

Saw you in the hospital gown as you wait for yet another egg extraction and another retriever, saw the pain of negative test etched on your face.

He came to your world and saw you and he knows the sadness loss, delays and disappointments brings, he knows how you feel right now. Because he experienced those same feelings too, while here on earth.

His life here on earth wasn’t palatable because even before he drew his first breath as a human, he was despised and rejected.

But Because he loves you and wants to show His love in the most insane way possible, he stepped into your world and walked where you are today.

As you continue in your own journey of trying, stop and think about this knowledge, he knows.

Be encouraged with this hope, comfort and assurance.

Because the reality is that he too left the comfort of His palace and came as a helpless baby. Galatians 3:4-5. 

Think about it.

For me he came. O a love so pure and true. That a king would come for me. O the wonder of it, I will never know.

Your partner in Hope

Debi

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Celebratory seasons

Every year we celebrate all kinds of occasions, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, halloween, thanksgiving and christmas.

These season can be triggers for the couple in waiting, because without fail, we see parents adore their young kids with outfit and proudly shows them off.

I did the same when my girls were still little. without thought for how my waiting friends feels. No one intentionally parades their kids to cause distress, we all do it from a place of joy.

But I understand the pain and agony these images can cause. The despair cause by your failed attempt to get pregnant, the repeated miscarriage and the loss of a child.

When I was waiting I discovered that more than seeing friends or pregnant women, the seasons of celebration is the hardest one to face.

There is no escaping the gaiety in the air as you watch friends, dress up with their babies, teens, sons or daughters in teamed outfit.

O the tug at your heart strings as you imagine how you will dress your baby. You build a picture and hold on to the hope that it will one day be you dressing up your child.

These image seems to diminish as the years go by.

And every year as you watch others with their tiny little babies dress up for school plays for halloween themed party for thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, you hide in floods of tears, loathing another celebratory season.

I am reminded by this passage in Psalm 143:8. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love.

Yes seasons may come and go and our desires tarries, but God’s word never changes.

Anchor your hopes to it and hold on, let each celebratory season remind you of His unfailing love and as we approach Christmas when you will have to face Santa and school plays, remember his birth is the reason we are here but his death and resurrection is a promise that we can hold on to his promise, that he will grant us our hearts desires.

For if he did not withhold his Son from us, he will give us freely our hearts desires.

Peace.

Your partner in hope.

Debi

Other related post:

A little town

Trust and Joy in mist of pain

Our Hope This Easter

Lockdown.

The current situation have left many couples confused and unsure what about the future of their plans to becoming parents.

As sad as it is that the world is currently facing a pandemic, it’s even sadder that on one is certain when things will come back to normal.

Couples have been faced with cancelled treatments and some have had to stop treatment half way into it.

If you your treatment has been stopped or postponed .

I want you to lift your Hope now into the hands of the maker.

Place your trust in Him.

He Who spared not Jesus, but gave him to die for us, so that we can have all we need in him,

Knows your pain and headaches.

Rest your weary head on his.

Lay your burdens on him, he bore them already.

Though your future seem uncertain

Trust and fear not.

Be assured of his power to bring dead things to life.

Hope and wait for his plans to unfold into something beautiful for you.

Happy Easter

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Easter and Infertility.

The Lonely Journey of Infertility

When I think of the journey of  Jesus to the cross I realised how lonely it must have been for him.

The process leading to the Cross was one of shame.

He felt abandoned by His father,

He felt  alone as His most trusted friends ran for their lives.

No one wanted to be associated with Him for fear of being killed.

In that moment, when he faced death and breath His last, he asked His father why he was abandoned.

The more I speak to those who have walked or currently on this journey of waiting, the more it becomes apparent how lonely it can get. The notion that there is a community out there seem remote.

Infertility is still a lonely journey.

No one to talk to, fear of being stigmatised, the feeling of shame causes us to bottle it up than open up to anyone.

I am particularly drawn to the two women who went to anoint his body, and wondered who will rolled the stone away. There was an obstacle at the entrance of the tomb, A Stone.

Who will roll away the stone?

The stone is big, two women alone can’t rolled it a way. It will take more than 2 women to roll it away. Who will roll away the stone?

You may be asking yourself right now:

Who will take away this pain of trying?

How will this end?

Will I ever have a child?

But we know how the story ends, although it seemed liked death had won, at the time he was nailed to the cross and put in the tomb.

When he got up on Easter Sunday, truly, God’s purpose for the suffering he endured was unfolded.

Be encouraged by the resurrection of our Lord and Saviour, you may have a stone like problem right now.

Just as the miracle of resurrection happened all those years ago, you will experience a miracle of birth, you too will rise up from the ashes of infertility to new life.

Trust in him, hope in Him, call on Him and you will have help.

A stone like problem? Give it to Jesus.

Happy Easter

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Related reading

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/05/infertility-a-lonely-journey/

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/03/comfort-joy-in-the-mist-of-infertility/

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/07/25/keeping-hope-alive/