Category: Healthy

Reason To Celebrate

D'EbiLeave a comment

My best friends birthday was approaching, It was a significant milestone. I remembered planning ahead trying to figure out what we’re going to do for her.

I contacted her to find out what she had planned, I persisted in asking her until she said “I won’t be having any celebration”.

I sort of expected it because I’ve known for over 20 years and I have never celebrated a birthday with her or celebrated her birthday. I knew her reasons. However, I did not think that such a milestone would go uncelebrated.

She’s single and not currently in a relationship, she’s approaching the age where having children is considered risky, she’s premenopausal. She is in between jobs and between homes.

The last few years have been really difficult for her having lost her dad, which means both parents will not be around when and if she eventually gets married and have children.

Lack of success and achievement in certain areas of our lives, leaves us disappointed and robbed.

You too may be asking yourself as Christmas approaches, what’s there to celebrate?

Our lives are measured by our achievements, the absence of which deemed us failures.

There is a perceived natural progression of ones life, grow up, go to school, meet your partner, graduate, get married, have children and live happily ever after.

As I’ve come to know, life isn’t always a straight line from A to Z. Life will take you from N to B and, from S to W and back again from V to K.

Live doesn’t give you what you order, God does. Life doesn’t give you what you expect, faith in God does. Life doesn’t give you what you think you should have, trust and hope in God does.

And as a result of not getting to those milestones we decide what, when to celebrate and how to celebrate.

Celebration is not about things. We celebrate because we look inside ourselves and we know that regardless of where we are and how far we still have to go, we have a reason to be thankful because a lot of people did not get as far as we have come.

We are thankful because against all odds, are still standing. we reflect on the good we have in our lives.

 I want to encourage you today,  If you find yourself void of joy, void of any enthusiasm to celebrate let the births of Christ inspire you.

What is there to celebrate?

For starters, your health, Your amazing support group, The families in your life. For the strength to keep going, your nieces and nephews, for your job.

Count your blessings, and let your focus well on God’s goodness, not on the absence of should have been.

Our cup is not half empty but half full.

This Christmas rejoice in the fullness of joy that Christ brought when he came into our world. This is why we celebrate.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

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What is Going On?

D'EbiLeave a comment

How often have you wondered what’s going on in your life, how did I get here? How am I going to get out of it? How will it all turn out?

It is often the case, going through infertility leaves us with countless questions.

There’s also someone who wondered about what was going on in her life.

Mary was a little girl from a little village she was betrothed to be married and she was suddenly pregnant.

I imagine many a night Mary ponded what was going on with her? She wondered about her future even though the Angel told her she was carrying the saviour, I imagine in a quietness of her heart,

She had to still process it all. She must have faced doubt even as she progressed in her pregnancy

I imagine she was plagued with so many questions. I don’t think the angels kept coming to reassure her, that the child she was carrying is actually the saviour. There were no account of angels coming month after month to encourage her. Mary trusted God and held him to that promise.

I imagine Mary processed what was going on as she looked at her changing body day and night, contended with knowing and questioning looks from those around her. I imagine even Jospeh’s family may have wondered and she may have wondered as well what on earth do they think happened..

Yes, infertility and what Mary experienced are worlds apart, but nevertheless there are some lessons to draw from Mary’s experience:

Have you pondered what’s going on? Worried about knowing looks, about your aging body? Worried about what the future holds and how you will deal with it?

As I have frequently said in this place we don’t know the future, we don’t know how our story will end, all we can do is hold onto God’s promises.

Has he told you anything? Ponder over them. Has he promised you something? Ponder over it and trust Him completely With your future.

Just like Mary let your soul Him for his wonderful promise which will be fulfilled in your life.

Your Partner in Hope.

D’Ebi

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A Costly Gift

D'EbiLeave a comment

It’s the season of giving and receiving gifts. I have been trying to find the most thoughtful presents for my loved ones and I am sure you are as well.

What will it cost you to do something for someone else? Time, money, your possessions or skills. Going through trying times leaves us focus on ourselves, often too drained to consider giving any of these to others.

I realized this during the most difficult periods of my life, I couldn’t give of myself to anything, I was focused on getting through the stage of infertility, but I knew there were so many in need of my skills and thankfully I decide to keep a journal of my experiences which started faithful wait

Although God freely gives us gifts of love, grace, mercies, forgiveness, protection, provision and love. He makes no demands made of us, because it already cost Him, His Son. It was and remains the most costly gift of all time. The person we now celebrate at Christmas was give. as a gift for many. 

His life bought our freedom from sin, sickness, loss, disappointment and gave us a living hope.

His paid once so that we can enjoy his gifts eternally.

So this Christmas consider someone in worse situation than yourself and give them a gift you can afford, or go a step further, give a gift that will cost you something.

Remember Christ promised to surround you with with favor like a shield in the mist of your situation.

He is with you through every circumstance shielding you, so that you can also respond by helping others.

As you receive Gods blessings during this time, and all through the years, find time to share your gift with others.. because what you receive freely cost him everything.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

mother’s Day/Others Day?

D'EbiLeave a comment

Here in the UK, we celebrate mother’s day on the 27th March of every year. It may be a different day wherever you are but one thing remains the same, for the women waiting, the feeling is the same.

That feeling of uncertainty, of wondering, not knowing, feeling of abandonment.

No matter where you on your journey, I salute you, your steadfastness, strength, your resilience in the face of pain and uncertainty. 

For anyone who is currently waiting to be a mother, celebrating mothers doesn’t inspire joy in you, rather it does the opposite, it brings tears, isolation and dread, that maybe you may never experience being celebrated.

You are an over comer, you have overcome the stigma and shame, the sorrows and the fear, the dread of tomorrow and you are now on your way to being more. So keep your hopes alive and continue to have faith.

You are an encouragement, a winner and you will one day tell your story of how you overcome.

To you I say Happy Mother’s Day.

Your Partner In Hope

D’Ebi

Related. Celebrating Mother’s day, Blessings In Waiting, Presents and Kids Hope does not bring shame. Does God Forgets

The True Gift Of Christmas

D'EbiLeave a comment

The Birth of Christ brought profound joy as well as grim news of a saviour who would die and rescue the world.

Mary felt Joy for Her saviour and child was born. But she also knew that he will be opposed for he’s appointed for the rise and fall of many. Luke 2.34-35.

I imagined she was sad/thorn because of the impending danger he faced early and  later years in life.  
Yes, Christmas morning brought both joy and sadness.  And as the years rolled by Mary watched her baby the saviour slept, with teary eyes, she knew the holy one of Israel would pay  for the sins of the world.

So why she was happy at his birth. The long awaited arrival of the saviour meant joy for Many, but for Mary his arrival ended her peace. Her heart felt pain each time he went out of the house.

Every time he left the house, She anticipated, she wondered at every knock, every greeting, her heart skipped a beat. Has the time come?

So for you Christmas morning may mean so many things it maybe mixed with Joy and happiness, you are here still standing, a loving partner, family and friends, a job, and hope for the future.
Or you may have lost your marriages, had another  miscarriage, loss a child, received the dreaded news of blocked tubes, ageing eggs, No job, no funds. Yes Christmas came, but your reality is one of fear for the future.

On this Christmas day, let your heart be quiet and still, be reassured that you are His priced possession.

Your celebration maybe with gratitude, joy, dissatisfaction or disappointment. Just know that “you are His and He is yours”.

Christmas is more than just physical gifts it is an eternal gift of Hope, Joy, deep contentment in knowing that He who has promised will be faithful as He said:

“I will never leave you, nor will I forsake you”.That’s the true gift of ChristmasHis abiding presence with us, which is our reassuring Hope.

Merry Christmas

Your partner in Hope

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Does God Forgets

D'EbiLeave a comment

In our previous posts I wrote about Rachel and how God remembered her. often we make statements like ”God remembered me”.

But does God forget? That’s the question. Has he forgotten about you?

God is not human and does not forgets like humans beings does.

But often we use the word “God has remembered me”. Usage of that word suggests there is a flaw in God. A human flaw of forgetfulnesses.

Man is fallible so, man forgets.  But God is not a human that he should forget, right? Nor a  human that he should lie, has he said it and will he not do it?

Let me Put it to you that God does forgets. Yes he does. He forgets your sins. He himself said “I will remember their sins no more”. So here, God deliberately forgets and erase your sins from His memories. So when He looks at you He sees you clean.

Earlier on in my quest for a child I went through various scenarios, of times when I may have done somethings for which I was atoning for. It could be anything but the guilt of it all stacks up even more when I couldn’t fall pregnant.

I knew I was forgiven, I knew the delay was not a result of things I may have done.  I just couldn’t stop thinking there was something that is causing the delay. I wanted an answer and maybe you do too. It’s so easy to find a reason to hold on to. Hence we blame it on some past wrong doings.

We sometimes think that there is an underlining deep spiritual message that God was trying to send us?

Then I remember, it was I who forgot that God has forgotten about any past sins.

God did not keep the receipt, He clears the hard drive and every backup copy, He destroyed them. He does not remember my sins. He Forgot.

So I want to challenge you today to take whatever mistakes you think you have made, use an erase-able pan or a pencil Stack them up.

  • write what you remember one by one,
  • Put a strike next to them.
  • Scribble over them.
  • Then use the eraser and rob them out.
  • Finally rip the paper.

Do the same on your computer/Ipad or smart phone.

  • start typing out all the things you think you may have done wrong,
  • then press the back button or highlight them and
  • then delete it all without saving.
This is what God did.
He deleted, he erased, then ripped up the evidence. He doesn’t remember your sins because when you ask for his forgiveness he just erase it. He wiped the slate clean, he cannot remember and see you as new when he looks at you.

So the next time you think the delays you are experiencing is because of some past sins, some jealousy, habits or other horrible stuff, Just Remember, He doesn’t remember your sins.

You are forgiven, washed and cleaned and you have put on Christ As Paul said, so each time you pray he sees Christ. Not your sins.

He sees His son whom he sent as a baby a long time ago to come and cover you, to come and stand in your place on the cross.
Now you are dressed in righteousness and faultless to stand before His throne. That’s who you are, faultless. So come boldly thanking him, for his forgetfulness.
In his book God came near, Max Lucado wrote. Do yourself a favour purge your cellar . Exorcise your basement. Take the Roman  nails of Calvary and board up the door.

And remember he forgot.

Your Partner in Hope

Debi

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Tips on Staying Healthy.

D'EbiLeave a comment

It is no secret that the first lockdown came as a surprised. With no warning at all, countries around the world closed none essential businesses.

With most countries in Europe going into a second lockdown last week, we find ourselves in isolation one more time.

If you are alone and TTC, now is the perfect time to ramp up your fitness level. Winter months makes it harder to execise, but don’t pull back now. 

This post examines how to maintain our bodies and mind by staying fit during this second lockdown.

Particularly for women trying to conceive maintaining a healthy immune system can play a major role in boosting our chances of being pregnant. 

Here are a few suggested ways to staying healthy.

  1. Have a nutritious diet. The saying you are what you eat holds true. Having a diet rich in fiber, fruits and vegetables will ensure that your body is provided with vital nutrients it needs to fight, not only the winter blues but viruses. having a mediterranean style diet of low carbs and sugar, packed with leafy vegetables and oil has been proven to enhance infertility. These food types are packed with vitamins which are essential for fetal health.
  2. Regular exercise: exercise is just as important as it produces the feel good hormones, combined with a healthy diet, you can maintain a normal BMI. The NHS sees a BMI of 20-30 as a healthy normal body weight.
  3. Healthy mental well being: Execise produces the feel good hormones, endorphins. This improves our mental health greatly and releases us from the stress brought on by TTC. It is important to not over do it, If you are new to execise simple walking, Biking, swimming for half an hour a day is a good place to start. As you build up your fitness level you can then increase the intensity. The NHS recommends 150 moderate execise a week.
  4. Up your vitamins intake. Most adults who regularly consume a healthy meal will have sufficient vitamins levels. However vitamins D has been linked to a healthy immunity and 10 mins daily sun exposure is enough of our daily dose. However in colder months when we are less likely to be exposed to sunlight, it is recommended to take a Vitamin D supplement along with folic acid.
  5. Drop any bad habits like smoking and excessive consumption of alcohol. Several research studies have shown that these habits reduce one’s chances of falling pregnant.
  6. Reduce your stress levels: TTC is extremely stressful, but we have to constantly try to identify external stress triggers and reduce them. Take time daily to refocus by meditating. This frees your mind and calms you from within enhancing your mental health. Practice mindfulness, it is beneficial to maintaining a calm atmosphere around you.
  7. Positive Affirmation; This is another way of boosting your mental well being. positively proclaim good things about your self and body. Speak what you want to see, it can be a word. Hold on to it. Being positive about your situation, boosts your energy levels. It has been said that positive affirmation moves your body in the direction of your mind.
  8. finally, eat, pray and hope.

Your Partner in Hooe

D’Ebi

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