Signs Of Infertility

We have been writing about surrogacy and the reason to embark on a surrogate journey.

This led me to think about signs of infertility. The more I speak with friends and those who have tried for a while the more  obvious it  becomes  that some couples delay in seeking help. 

So this post focuses on signs of infertility and when to seek help. 

See similar post herehttps://faithfulwait.com/2016/06/08/infertility-when-to-seek-help/

Infertility affects both male and female. In previous post we discussed that a third of infertility issues comes from women, the other third to men and due to a combination of both, other factors and unknown causes.

Below is a list of signs of infertility for women

  1. Painful sex
  2. Heavy; long or paid periods : could be a sign of endometriosis, this is a condition where tissues found in the womb are present elsewhere in the body.
  3. Irregular menstrual cycle.
  4. Hormone changes:  a test by your doctor can detect changes in hormones: hormone change can lead to weight gain, facial hair in female, loss of sex drive, acne.
  5. Underlying medical conditions: such as damage to Fallopian tubes, PCOS, cancer. Rheumatoid Arthritis ( which is a condition I was diagnosed for).
  6. Obesity: 

infertility in men:

 Signs of infertility in men can include 

  1. Hormone imbalance: The key hormone for male is Testosterone where problem with the testes can cause infertility. The males testes have two hormones  which make sperm, the luteinizing hormones and the stimulating hormones.  These hormones are produced by pituitary glands so any problems with this gland Amy also led to infertility in men.
  2. Erectile dysfunction: failure to have erection during sex can be as a result of stress or other psychological factors. Please seek medical intervention If this becomes a regular occurrence.
  3. Ejaculation problem: Any change or difficulty in ejeculation, can result in infertility, medical advice should be sought where this becomes a frequent occurrence 
  4. Problems with the testicle:  This may include swollen, painful, or tender testicles. If you noticed any of these or other changes in your testlces please seek help.
  5. Obesity: Obesity can affect both male and female fertility. It is important to keep your weight under check if you are trying for a baby. 

Other causes of infertility include 

  • Age
  • Excessive drinking/consumption of alcohol
  • Sexually transmitted disease
  • Smoking
  • Poor diet

When to seek help.

If you experience any of the above signs,  please consult your doctor if you are under 35 and have been trying for more than a year (6 months if you are over 35 of age).

Changes to make to boost your fertility 

Change of lifestyle may include having healthier meals

Exercise 

Decreases of total reduction of alcohol 

Keeping your weight in check.

Conclusion

It is important to observe your body for any signs of changes and consult your doctor as soo. As possible to avoid delays in getting pregnant

Your partner in Hope

References

D,Ebi

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Extraordinary Acts Of Love

What would you do for the ones you love? Anything I imagine. Anything which is legal.

I was so touched to read this story of a mum who is pregnant with her grandchild after her daughter’s failed IVF attempts.

Today’s post explore couples the involvement of others in the journey towards parenthood.

Very often we hear of extra ordinary acts of love and kindness from strangers and we expect such acts from family members as well. But when it comes to child bearing, this is usually the preserve of the couples involved and in some cases, with the help of their fertility clinic.

However, to see a mother step into the gap to help her daughter in this way is really unconditional love on display. It takes the meaning “I will do anything for my child”to a whole new level.

The Seattle Times reported on June the 22nd 2020, of how Ms Loving reached the decision to become a gestation carrier for her daughter.

She’s watched her daughter’s several IVF attempts to and seen the suffer the heart caused by multiple rounds of IVFs, miscarriages etc.

Now Mrs Loving is pregnant with the biological baby of her daughter and son-in-law. As her daughter Breanna Lockwood puts it

“She’s the oven”.

So many emotions is involved with being pregnant. To experience them for your daughter and to know you are carrying your grandchild is pretty special.

So if you are still waiting for your own little miracle, and have tried everything but using a surrogate, consider this as an options available to you. We have written about it here https://faithfulwait.com/2020/02/29/surrogacy-i-call-it-a-helping-hand/

Not everyone is within the medical age of child bearing, so this story is pretty special.

When to Use a Surrogate.

Using a surrogate is usually considered in situations where carrying the baby becomes a risk to the health and life of the mother.

Surrogate is considered in the following cases

A would be mother has a medical condition that makes it impossible or dangerous to get pregnant or give birth.

Recurrent loss either, naturally or via IVF.

On the advice of a medical professional

where the biological mother is past the age considered medically at risk to carry a child.

Who to consider as your surrogate.

This of this following:

Who can you approach?

Who’s in your close network? Is there a sister or friend whom you trust and know can and will do this? Unconditionally?

Has anyone in your cycle of friendship and family met work, express their willingness to step in?

Consider having the conversation with them and your partner.

There is so much involved with fertility treatments, so ideally someone younger and healthy should be considered.

Consider the legal implications and the cost of the process.

This cause medical cost and any other commitments involved.

Preferably use an agency to work out the fine details before embarking on any final arrangements.

Finally believe in the process, remain positive and hopeful and you will see your miracle.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Source

Www.hfea.gov.uk

Seattletimes.com

Related Post.

https://faithfulwait.com/2020/03/10/surrogacy-finding-a-surrogate/

A pandemic Problem

I cannot begin to imagine your ache. I said to my friend. Who was due to fly to India to start her IVF treatment when the pandemic broke. On the one hand she was glad she’s not stuck in India with no family member and unable to commence treatment.

On the other hand she’s disappointed in the uncertainty of not knowing, when it will start again.

So many stories like this abound. Stories of plans put on hold indefinitely because of a pandemic. A pandemic?

No one saw this coming,

Which makes it all the more difficult to accept.

IVF is not a decision made lightly. It is a huge investment both financially and emotionally.

Since the lockdown, my friend has been plagued with anxiety.

The uncertainty of not knowing when, the lack of control over the whole process. The anxiety of age not being on her side.

As days turned into weeks and weeks into months, her anxiety level slowly reduced. She busied herself with looking for alternatives to being a birth/biological mum.

She looked at alternatives like adoption and surrogacy.

Point to Note.

The very act of being engaged in something else has filled her with hope and encouragement, vision for the future and she’s able to hope and dream again.

Most days after her day job, she settles down begin her research.

She’s now has so much knowledge on the topic of adoption and surrogacy, and she’s contacted a few agencies to make enquires.

Although everything is still on a pause, she’s been able to find something positive to do with her spare time.

Possibilities

I believe that “nothing is impossible to anyone who believes”.

No matter the set back, the knock backs and the upset. Believe that something good is around the corner.

Yes, your world has been upended with this pandemic. There’s still hope.

Here in England we are 2 months into the lock down with things some slowly starting again.

Occupy yourself till such time as you can begin treatment again.

just as my friend did, she became open to the possibility of Adopting and surrogacy, something she’s previously refused to consider.

Another thing to note is, my friend‘S been able to really connect with her partner and together they have resolved to trust God more and be accepting of whatever end he chooses.

Something she’s previously not contemplated. She’s more at peace at the thoughts and is even happier for it.

She’s not given up on her dream

Of becoming a mum, but now more trusting of God and the future he has planned for her family.

My encouragement to you too is to see the possibilities a pandemic can bring, a renewed zeal, focus, hope and faith in the process and in the father God.

I pray that soon services will resume again and treatment can commence.

Till then, hold on change is coming,

Hold on don’t worry about a thing.

Cos Gods got it under control.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Related posts

Strategies to cope while in lockdown

How to stay sane during lock down

I use to be a very anxious person and I can say it is not a pleasant place to be. I worried about everything. So I know that being anxious affects so many aspects of ones life.

At the beginning of the lock down and home schooling I felt I can handle it so at first it didn’t seem terrifying. But anxiety soon sets in when the realization of it all hits me.

Working from home and home schooling 2 kids, with a dad who’s a key worker set my pause racing. I soon lost control.

My mum lives with us and a week into the lock down, my she had a bad case of sciatica , this meant she couldn’t move and help herself with basic chores.

Soon I found I had 3 people to help during the day, plus WFH as well as the constant worry of what would happen if their dad gets the virus.

I found myself waking up with palpitations and

Worrying about any and everything.

I didn’t like the way I felt and knew

I had to do something fast, so I went back to back to basics. I went back to what I knew and abandoned.

These are the 10 techniques I used to cope during the lockdown.

1. Yoga and meditation: I was never keen at siting still , but occasionally I meditate and practice some breathing techniques. I helped my kids log into their yoga classes and soon joined in. Soon I noticed a calmness after every session. Maybe because I laughed so much at the way they threw themselves into it. But it did helped me a great deal.

2. I also mediate by coloring, I dig out my old coloring book and began to enjoy the quietness it brings as I color in the words and pictures. As I could in the word “peace”. I say things like “I have peace in my life”. “I let peace reign over me and my family”. “I release every anxiety into the hands of God and I release myself into peace”. this single act always releases me Into a peaceful state.

3. I Talk to myself. It is not a sign of maddness. I do this particularly when I feel the anxiety starting to build up. I tell Myself to stop and calm down and then engage in guided breathing

4. I have a list of everything which helps me stay calm, like a hot bath, mediations, reading, watching a comedy, exercise, e.g.,walking, jogging, skipping and dancing. I pick one or two and do a different one everyday.

5. I go over old photo albums and videos and relive memories of good times like holidays, my kids school plays, family BBQs, this feels me with joy as I imagine myself in that place of happiness and peace again.

6. I limit what I listen to and watch on the news. The constant consumption was also a reason for heighten anxiety.

7. I refuse to compare myself to anyone else. You might feel pressure to want to do something as everyone else seems to be doing something for a good cause.if you find something you want to be a part of do the little you can, but do not feel pressured to do something because everyone is doing same.

8. I focus on the here and now. While I picture life after the lockdown, I do not think too far ahead, because the prospect can become too daunting. Think about the next hour or minute. When you do that everything becomes easier. focus on the mundane, the everyday activities like taking a shower, brushing your teeth. Having a meal. Find peace in the simple things you normally do daily without taking notice.

9. Connection is vital. Stay connected to families and friends, organize a zoom call. I had a call with some friends at church the other night and it helped a lot as we all chatted about everything and what we were facing and how each of us was struggling. We shared ideas of how we are handling the lock down. It was such a relaxed evening.

10. I always started the day by reading my bible and my positive mindset book and also end it with a prayer . I mediate on a few lines as I drift off to sleep, with a quiet music in the background, it works every time.

There you have it.

I hope this might help someone out there, as they navigate life under lockdown.

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi

My Hidden Time Capsule

A thought provoking and very apt post

Jouyoz

Five items which I will put into my time capsule are:

A Bible- God’s guide to mankind

His Word the lamp of my path.

  1. One of my Bibles: I have got few copies of different versions of the Bible. So, I will gladly give one away. This special book will be preserved for someone in the future who would find it and discover the power behind my way of life. May their study of this literature reveal to them the secrets and truths about the One, True God of heaven who gave Himself for all of us. I pray that the peace of God will fill their lives and they will be guided by The Holy Spirit to be light in the darkness that may be present around them. Amen

2. A photo of my complete family: Owing to the fact that I do know definitely that there is no…

View original post 426 more words

Our Hope This Easter

Lockdown.

The current situation have left many couples confused and unsure what about the future of their plans to becoming parents.

As sad as it is that the world is currently facing a pandemic, it’s even sadder that on one is certain when things will come back to normal.

Couples have been faced with cancelled treatments and some have had to stop treatment half way into it.

If you your treatment has been stopped or postponed .

I want you to lift your Hope now into the hands of the maker.

Place your trust in Him.

He Who spared not Jesus, but gave him to die for us, so that we can have all we need in him,

Knows your pain and headaches.

Rest your weary head on his.

Lay your burdens on him, he bore them already.

Though your future seem uncertain

Trust and fear not.

Be assured of his power to bring dead things to life.

Hope and wait for his plans to unfold into something beautiful for you.

Happy Easter

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Treatment and COVID-19

IVF AND COVID-19.

The Outbreak of Covid-19 has sadly affected all aspects of our lives and more importantly our health.

As the spread of the virus continues Governments across the globe have had to take difficult decision in an attempt to protect the human race.

I have bee watching the trend and listened keenly to the news being shared. One thing that have been overlooked in all the main stream media outlet is the impact it has on IVF treatment. Once again infertility and IVT treatments takes bottom page on the list of important illness.

Stories being shared around the world shows that it is becoming increasingly difficult to access IVF treatments presently. Ash Mogg and her partner had waited almost a year to a publicly funded list in Ontario and were about to begin the process in two weeks, but their hospital has suspended the treatment indefinitely.

Health Authorities across the world have taken the decision to halt all IVF treatment. The Times of Isreal reported that Isreal has stopped all new IVF treatments over the coronavirus fears. Due to the fear that it could spread in clinics and potentially harm foetuses.

Similar decision has also been taken by the European Society of Human Reproduction and the Embryology and the American Society for Reproductive Medicine.

These decisions were no doubt taken seriously with the safety of everyone affected.

The risk involve with continuing is too great to take. Apart from the risk for the medical technical performing the treatment, there is an increased risk for the patients undergoing the treatment due to the delicate nature of the process and close monitoring during the egg transfer phase, blood testing phase.

The waiting rooms of many IVF clinics are often small and holds between 30 to 40 women and their spouses at any given time. And, given the guidelines on social distancing, enforcing this will be difficult.

Furthermore, there is the added risk during the transferring of the embryo requiring extreme hygiene measures. This is a new virus and it is still unclear what effect if any it may have on foetuses.

the way it is spreading calls for urgent and severe measures to be taken. Never before has the world been shut down even in times of war.

Although the severity of the situation has left many couples heart broken, as their dreams of becoming parents are further, put on hold.

It is especially painful and heart wrenching for those who have had to stop their treatment mid-way. For some women, age is not on their side making this extremely hard to deal with.

I cannot imagine being in your place, I can only encourage you to keep your eyes on the goal. Now more than ever, stay strong. This too shall pass.

Practical things to do to as you wait.


If you must follow the news, limit it to specific times of the day.

Engage your mind with positive messages. Limit your exposure to social media, news outlets and other sources of negativity that may cause you to worry and panic.

  • Keep up to date with what is happening in the world of fertility treatment. Your hospital will also be sending out communications during this time to keep you updated on the developments.

Do something you have always wanted to do. If your city is locked down, take up gardening spring is here clear out the shed and bring out the flower pot

Plant some potted herbs or your favourite flower, watch it grow and bloom and as it does, say a prayer of hope faith that you too will grow and bloom soon with your own baby.

Take an online course learn a language, cooking skill, book club, dance class. The list is endless.

Iife must go on because here there is life, there is hope. My prayer through this is that we will all

I find our true purpose and embrace the real meaning of life.

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Surrogacy: Finding a surrogate

Surrogacy is a process by which a woman carries pregnancy on behalf of another woman. 

Types of surrogacy 

Gestational/Host Surrogacy

This type of surrogacy is where the eggs belong to the parents, but are transferred into the surrogate.

The surrogate is not genetically related to the baby.

In this type the embryos will either be 100% the intended parents or made up of one of the parents and a donor egg or sperm donor.

Straight/Traditional Surrogacy

Here the surrogates own eggs are used to conceive. Either via IVF, or IUI.

Where and how to find a surrogate.

Social media has made it easier to find a potential surrogate. 

There are plenty of agencies offering to guide and help you find the perfect surrogate. Do a thorough research on the agency before using them. 

  • Find out all you need to know about them, look at online forums 
  • the processes involved, 
  • how and where they source for surrogate. 
  • If possible locate and interview couples who have successfully used a surrogate vi the agency.
  • Locate and discuss with a surrogate about their association and experiences.
  • The cost of using an agency, be aware that this mind may be different from the cost of paying the surrogate. 

The Surrogate:

You can meet your surrogate on social media via a surrogate, once found develops a relationship/friendship with the surrogate. This will help you connect with the surrogate. 

Next post will explore further the getting to know phase for more information check out the following website for more info 

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Related reading

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/10/11/surrogacy/

Surrogacy: I call it a helping hand.

Gone are the days, when having a baby means you have to be pregnant. While pregnancy is a beautiful experience. Sadly many women have suffered needlessly without success. With surrogacy, hope is restored and couples can now experience the joys of being parents.

I am so glad about the attention surrogacy is getting thanks to some high profile births via surrogates.

Like Candy from the Real Housewives of Atlanta and Kim and Kanye West.

To me, surrogacy means fighting to defeat infertility, doing whatever it takes to hold that precious soul in your hands.

It means not being ashamed to asked another to be the womb that holds your jewels, to trust someone with your heart.

It means exploring what is possible.

To be an expectant mother without the visible sign, but knowing that your heart is pregnant and bursting with love and gratitude.

Surrogacy, it is indeed the helping hand we all need.

In March we I’ll explore more on the topic.

Stay tuned

Kick Start Your Fertility in 2020

It’s the beginning of the year and often we have goals and resolutions to adhere to.

Here at faithful wait we are guessing yours is to fall pregnant.

To bring you closer to your dream, we have complied a list of 10 activities or changes to embark on as you work on your desires.

1. Reduce your stress level: stress is now the most commonly diagnosed illness right now. It is especially stressful if you fail to fall pregnant after several tries. If this is you, do simple things to reduce your stress level. this can be planning 10 mins daily walk around the block or at lunch break, practice slow breathing techniques as part of a meditation exercise.

2. Keep a positive attitude, this will involve actively choosing to ignore the negatives. Fill your mind with thoughts that promotes good feeling. I find reading a daily motivation book or quote and meditating on this helps to feel my mind positive thoughts and actions.

3. Practice meditation. This will aid in stress reduction, practice calm breathing sessions, you can find helpful videos on YouTube and other health sites. If cost is no issue, join a gym where you can take part in Pilates and yoga classes.

4. Read. What’s your situation? What do you know about it? Research on it and find alternatives ways to achieve those goals. Exploring other option

5. Alternate medicine: take a daily supplement or vitamins. Folic acid is recommended for those trying to conceive. Discuss with your doctor on what the best medicine to take is.

6. Take up new hobbies. We are often so engaged in

Trying to get pregnant we forget to love life. Take up a new skill like gardening, sewing, knitting, drawing, or learning a language. This l will refocus your mind and take the focus off trying to conceive as well as shift the focus off the issue and release you to enjoying life while you wait.

7. Adopt a healthy lifestyle. This will involve healthy eating and daily exercise. Doctors recommend 30 minutes of moderate exercise. Take a brisk walk, daily swimming or running, whatever suits your you.

9. Hold no grudges. Yes life seems cruel, you may feel you’ve been dealt a bad hand. Let go and look on the bright side. It could be worse.

10. Seek help. To fall pregnant requires action. If you have tried unsuccessfully in the last year and still not pregnant. Find out why. Talk to your doctor. Explore the options available to you. The IVF PROCESS

Do something to get you started.!

These are just a few steps towards achieving your dream of becoming a parent. Find out more for yourself on this site.

Get started today and I wish you every success in 2020. Don’t call it quit

Partner in Hope

D’Ebi