A pandemic Problem

I cannot begin to imagine your ache. I said to my friend. Who was due to fly to India to start her IVF treatment when the pandemic broke. On the one hand she was glad she’s not stuck in India with no family member and unable to commence treatment.

On the other hand she’s disappointed in the uncertainty of not knowing, when it will start again.

So many stories like this abound. Stories of plans put on hold indefinitely because of a pandemic. A pandemic?

No one saw this coming,

Which makes it all the more difficult to accept.

IVF is not a decision made lightly. It is a huge investment both financially and emotionally.

Since the lockdown, my friend has been plagued with anxiety.

The uncertainty of not knowing when, the lack of control over the whole process. The anxiety of age not being on her side.

As days turned into weeks and weeks into months, her anxiety level slowly reduced. She busied herself with looking for alternatives to being a birth/biological mum.

She looked at alternatives like adoption and surrogacy.

Point to Note.

The very act of being engaged in something else has filled her with hope and encouragement, vision for the future and she’s able to hope and dream again.

Most days after her day job, she settles down begin her research.

She’s now has so much knowledge on the topic of adoption and surrogacy, and she’s contacted a few agencies to make enquires.

Although everything is still on a pause, she’s been able to find something positive to do with her spare time.

Possibilities

I believe that “nothing is impossible to anyone who believes”.

No matter the set back, the knock backs and the upset. Believe that something good is around the corner.

Yes, your world has been upended with this pandemic. There’s still hope.

Here in England we are 2 months into the lock down with things some slowly starting again.

Occupy yourself till such time as you can begin treatment again.

just as my friend did, she became open to the possibility of Adopting and surrogacy, something she’s previously refused to consider.

Another thing to note is, my friend‘S been able to really connect with her partner and together they have resolved to trust God more and be accepting of whatever end he chooses.

Something she’s previously not contemplated. She’s more at peace at the thoughts and is even happier for it.

She’s not given up on her dream

Of becoming a mum, but now more trusting of God and the future he has planned for her family.

My encouragement to you too is to see the possibilities a pandemic can bring, a renewed zeal, focus, hope and faith in the process and in the father God.

I pray that soon services will resume again and treatment can commence.

Till then, hold on change is coming,

Hold on don’t worry about a thing.

Cos Gods got it under control.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Related posts

Strategies to cope while in lockdown

How to stay sane during lock down

I use to be a very anxious person and I can say it is not a pleasant place to be. I worried about everything. So I know that being anxious affects so many aspects of ones life.

At the beginning of the lock down and home schooling I felt I can handle it so at first it didn’t seem terrifying. But anxiety soon sets in when the realization of it all hits me.

Working from home and home schooling 2 kids, with a dad who’s a key worker set my pause racing. I soon lost control.

My mum lives with us and a week into the lock down, my she had a bad case of sciatica , this meant she couldn’t move and help herself with basic chores.

Soon I found I had 3 people to help during the day, plus WFH as well as the constant worry of what would happen if their dad gets the virus.

I found myself waking up with palpitations and

Worrying about any and everything.

I didn’t like the way I felt and knew

I had to do something fast, so I went back to back to basics. I went back to what I knew and abandoned.

These are the 10 techniques I used to cope during the lockdown.

1. Yoga and meditation: I was never keen at siting still , but occasionally I meditate and practice some breathing techniques. I helped my kids log into their yoga classes and soon joined in. Soon I noticed a calmness after every session. Maybe because I laughed so much at the way they threw themselves into it. But it did helped me a great deal.

2. I also mediate by coloring, I dig out my old coloring book and began to enjoy the quietness it brings as I color in the words and pictures. As I could in the word “peace”. I say things like “I have peace in my life”. “I let peace reign over me and my family”. “I release every anxiety into the hands of God and I release myself into peace”. this single act always releases me Into a peaceful state.

3. I Talk to myself. It is not a sign of maddness. I do this particularly when I feel the anxiety starting to build up. I tell Myself to stop and calm down and then engage in guided breathing

4. I have a list of everything which helps me stay calm, like a hot bath, mediations, reading, watching a comedy, exercise, e.g.,walking, jogging, skipping and dancing. I pick one or two and do a different one everyday.

5. I go over old photo albums and videos and relive memories of good times like holidays, my kids school plays, family BBQs, this feels me with joy as I imagine myself in that place of happiness and peace again.

6. I limit what I listen to and watch on the news. The constant consumption was also a reason for heighten anxiety.

7. I refuse to compare myself to anyone else. You might feel pressure to want to do something as everyone else seems to be doing something for a good cause.if you find something you want to be a part of do the little you can, but do not feel pressured to do something because everyone is doing same.

8. I focus on the here and now. While I picture life after the lockdown, I do not think too far ahead, because the prospect can become too daunting. Think about the next hour or minute. When you do that everything becomes easier. focus on the mundane, the everyday activities like taking a shower, brushing your teeth. Having a meal. Find peace in the simple things you normally do daily without taking notice.

9. Connection is vital. Stay connected to families and friends, organize a zoom call. I had a call with some friends at church the other night and it helped a lot as we all chatted about everything and what we were facing and how each of us was struggling. We shared ideas of how we are handling the lock down. It was such a relaxed evening.

10. I always started the day by reading my bible and my positive mindset book and also end it with a prayer . I mediate on a few lines as I drift off to sleep, with a quiet music in the background, it works every time.

There you have it.

I hope this might help someone out there, as they navigate life under lockdown.

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi

My Hidden Time Capsule

A thought provoking and very apt post

Jouyoz

Five items which I will put into my time capsule are:

A Bible- God’s guide to mankind

His Word the lamp of my path.

  1. One of my Bibles: I have got few copies of different versions of the Bible. So, I will gladly give one away. This special book will be preserved for someone in the future who would find it and discover the power behind my way of life. May their study of this literature reveal to them the secrets and truths about the One, True God of heaven who gave Himself for all of us. I pray that the peace of God will fill their lives and they will be guided by The Holy Spirit to be light in the darkness that may be present around them. Amen

2. A photo of my complete family: Owing to the fact that I do know definitely that there is no…

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Our Hope This Easter

Lockdown.

The current situation have left many couples confused and unsure what about the future of their plans to becoming parents.

As sad as it is that the world is currently facing a pandemic, it’s even sadder that on one is certain when things will come back to normal.

Couples have been faced with cancelled treatments and some have had to stop treatment half way into it.

If you your treatment has been stopped or postponed .

I want you to lift your Hope now into the hands of the maker.

Place your trust in Him.

He Who spared not Jesus, but gave him to die for us, so that we can have all we need in him,

Knows your pain and headaches.

Rest your weary head on his.

Lay your burdens on him, he bore them already.

Though your future seem uncertain

Trust and fear not.

Be assured of his power to bring dead things to life.

Hope and wait for his plans to unfold into something beautiful for you.

Happy Easter

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Treatment and COVID-19

IVF AND COVID-19.

The Outbreak of Covid-19 has sadly affected all aspects of our lives and more importantly our health.

As the spread of the virus continues Governments across the globe have had to take difficult decision in an attempt to protect the human race.

I have bee watching the trend and listened keenly to the news being shared. One thing that have been overlooked in all the main stream media outlet is the impact it has on IVF treatment. Once again infertility and IVT treatments takes bottom page on the list of important illness.

Stories being shared around the world shows that it is becoming increasingly difficult to access IVF treatments presently. Ash Mogg and her partner had waited almost a year to a publicly funded list in Ontario and were about to begin the process in two weeks, but their hospital has suspended the treatment indefinitely.

Health Authorities across the world have taken the decision to halt all IVF treatment. The Times of Isreal reported that Isreal has stopped all new IVF treatments over the coronavirus fears. Due to the fear that it could spread in clinics and potentially harm foetuses.

Similar decision has also been taken by the European Society of Human Reproduction and the Embryology and the American Society for Reproductive Medicine.

These decisions were no doubt taken seriously with the safety of everyone affected.

The risk involve with continuing is too great to take. Apart from the risk for the medical technical performing the treatment, there is an increased risk for the patients undergoing the treatment due to the delicate nature of the process and close monitoring during the egg transfer phase, blood testing phase.

The waiting rooms of many IVF clinics are often small and holds between 30 to 40 women and their spouses at any given time. And, given the guidelines on social distancing, enforcing this will be difficult.

Furthermore, there is the added risk during the transferring of the embryo requiring extreme hygiene measures. This is a new virus and it is still unclear what effect if any it may have on foetuses.

the way it is spreading calls for urgent and severe measures to be taken. Never before has the world been shut down even in times of war.

Although the severity of the situation has left many couples heart broken, as their dreams of becoming parents are further, put on hold.

It is especially painful and heart wrenching for those who have had to stop their treatment mid-way. For some women, age is not on their side making this extremely hard to deal with.

I cannot imagine being in your place, I can only encourage you to keep your eyes on the goal. Now more than ever, stay strong. This too shall pass.

Practical things to do to as you wait.


If you must follow the news, limit it to specific times of the day.

Engage your mind with positive messages. Limit your exposure to social media, news outlets and other sources of negativity that may cause you to worry and panic.

  • Keep up to date with what is happening in the world of fertility treatment. Your hospital will also be sending out communications during this time to keep you updated on the developments.

Do something you have always wanted to do. If your city is locked down, take up gardening spring is here clear out the shed and bring out the flower pot

Plant some potted herbs or your favourite flower, watch it grow and bloom and as it does, say a prayer of hope faith that you too will grow and bloom soon with your own baby.

Take an online course learn a language, cooking skill, book club, dance class. The list is endless.

Iife must go on because here there is life, there is hope. My prayer through this is that we will all

I find our true purpose and embrace the real meaning of life.

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Surrogacy: Finding a surrogate

Surrogacy is a process by which a woman carries pregnancy on behalf of another woman. 

Types of surrogacy 

Gestational/Host Surrogacy

This type of surrogacy is where the eggs belong to the parents, but are transferred into the surrogate.

The surrogate is not genetically related to the baby.

In this type the embryos will either be 100% the intended parents or made up of one of the parents and a donor egg or sperm donor.

Straight/Traditional Surrogacy

Here the surrogates own eggs are used to conceive. Either via IVF, or IUI.

Where and how to find a surrogate.

Social media has made it easier to find a potential surrogate. 

There are plenty of agencies offering to guide and help you find the perfect surrogate. Do a thorough research on the agency before using them. 

  • Find out all you need to know about them, look at online forums 
  • the processes involved, 
  • how and where they source for surrogate. 
  • If possible locate and interview couples who have successfully used a surrogate vi the agency.
  • Locate and discuss with a surrogate about their association and experiences.
  • The cost of using an agency, be aware that this mind may be different from the cost of paying the surrogate. 

The Surrogate:

You can meet your surrogate on social media via a surrogate, once found develops a relationship/friendship with the surrogate. This will help you connect with the surrogate. 

Next post will explore further the getting to know phase for more information check out the following website for more info 

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Related reading

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/10/11/surrogacy/

Surrogacy: I call it a helping hand.

Gone are the days, when having a baby means you have to be pregnant. While pregnancy is a beautiful experience. Sadly many women have suffered needlessly without success. With surrogacy, hope is restored and couples can now experience the joys of being parents.

I am so glad about the attention surrogacy is getting thanks to some high profile births via surrogates.

Like Candy from the Real Housewives of Atlanta and Kim and Kanye West.

To me, surrogacy means fighting to defeat infertility, doing whatever it takes to hold that precious soul in your hands.

It means not being ashamed to asked another to be the womb that holds your jewels, to trust someone with your heart.

It means exploring what is possible.

To be an expectant mother without the visible sign, but knowing that your heart is pregnant and bursting with love and gratitude.

Surrogacy, it is indeed the helping hand we all need.

In March we I’ll explore more on the topic.

Stay tuned

Kick Start Your Fertility in 2020

It’s the beginning of the year and often we have goals and resolutions to adhere to.

Here at faithful wait we are guessing yours is to fall pregnant.

To bring you closer to your dream, we have complied a list of 10 activities or changes to embark on as you work on your desires.

1. Reduce your stress level: stress is now the most commonly diagnosed illness right now. It is especially stressful if you fail to fall pregnant after several tries. If this is you, do simple things to reduce your stress level. this can be planning 10 mins daily walk around the block or at lunch break, practice slow breathing techniques as part of a meditation exercise.

2. Keep a positive attitude, this will involve actively choosing to ignore the negatives. Fill your mind with thoughts that promotes good feeling. I find reading a daily motivation book or quote and meditating on this helps to feel my mind positive thoughts and actions.

3. Practice meditation. This will aid in stress reduction, practice calm breathing sessions, you can find helpful videos on YouTube and other health sites. If cost is no issue, join a gym where you can take part in Pilates and yoga classes.

4. Read. What’s your situation? What do you know about it? Research on it and find alternatives ways to achieve those goals. Exploring other option

5. Alternate medicine: take a daily supplement or vitamins. Folic acid is recommended for those trying to conceive. Discuss with your doctor on what the best medicine to take is.

6. Take up new hobbies. We are often so engaged in

Trying to get pregnant we forget to love life. Take up a new skill like gardening, sewing, knitting, drawing, or learning a language. This l will refocus your mind and take the focus off trying to conceive as well as shift the focus off the issue and release you to enjoying life while you wait.

7. Adopt a healthy lifestyle. This will involve healthy eating and daily exercise. Doctors recommend 30 minutes of moderate exercise. Take a brisk walk, daily swimming or running, whatever suits your you.

9. Hold no grudges. Yes life seems cruel, you may feel you’ve been dealt a bad hand. Let go and look on the bright side. It could be worse.

10. Seek help. To fall pregnant requires action. If you have tried unsuccessfully in the last year and still not pregnant. Find out why. Talk to your doctor. Explore the options available to you. The IVF PROCESS

Do something to get you started.!

These are just a few steps towards achieving your dream of becoming a parent. Find out more for yourself on this site.

Get started today and I wish you every success in 2020. Don’t call it quit

Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

2020: The Year Where the impossible, becomes Possible.

As the 2019 draws to a close, I want to remind us of some impossible feats which became possible.

Humans have achieved so many remarkable things and are still capable of achieving more.

So here we are, the end of 2019.

You may be left disappointed because your hopes and dreams are still what they are hopes and dreams. And may even feel further from the goals you set as even more odds are stacked against you.

What’s the point? you ask yourself.

Well a reminder of great feats accomplished by fellow humans, may encourage you to keep the fire of your dreams and hopes burning to continue to stir the oar and to stay the course.

The four minute mile:

In 1954 at the age of 25, Roger Bannister became the first runner to break the 4 minute mile mark.It was a feat thought impossible at that time. He ran 4 miles for the first time in 1954 with his time at 3:59:4.

This single feat unlocked the possibilities of what men and women went on to achieve in track and field events. what was once deemed impossible has since become the standard for middle distance runners.

Moon landing:

The first moon landing was on 13th September 2013 by the Soviet Union’s Luna.

However on 20th July1969, the United States became the first country to send a manned mission to the moon. Again this was another accomplishment on the feathers of history. And several manned missions have since been embarked upon.

The longest Ice bath.

Wim Hof, holds the world record for the longest Ice Bath. He sat for 1 hour 12 mins in a bath of ice without His core body temperature failing. This was considered medically impossible, yet he proved it can be done.

Consecutive Marathons

In 2013, the Guinness Book of record,recorded that three hundred and sixty six full consecutive marathons was run by Jeannette and Alan Murray-Wakelin. No one has ever attempted this consecutively.

Electronic devices:

The world of technology has come a long way. You only have to look around you to know that humans have accomplished so much in the last century, a feat thought impossible, were imagined and today we have various means of communication.

Our telephones, our TV screens, smart home appliances, have changed the way we do things. The world has become smaller and impossible dreams have become possible.

The first flight.

The Wright Brothers made History when they became the first to achieve a short flight in 1903. This revolutionized the air travel and is regarded as one of the great technical achievements of all times

The development of Vaccines:

For a long time (centuries) life expectancy was low. Then came the great medical advances in the 19th and 20th centuries. As a result, many in the developing world have much longer life expectancy.

The first vaccines to be developed was by Edward Jenner. He developed the smallpox vaccine. And Louis Pasteur developed the Rabies vaccines

The development of vaccines have led to the decline and in some cases eradication of some deadly diseases

Climbing Mount Everest

On May 29th Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tensing Norgay climbed Mount Everest the highest peak in the Himalayas. This paved the way for so many others to attempt other daring adventures.

The first test tube baby.

On the 10/11/1977 IVF was born in the person of Louise Brown. She was born at Oldham and District Hospital in Greater Manchester weighing 5lb 12oz.

Since then, millions of babies worldwide have been born via IVF bringing joy to couples the world over and making their dreams come true.

Earlier today, while still lying in bed, I received a text message about a family member who had her first child,a beautiful baby girl at 52 years of age.

She had two blocked tubes and for years thought it was impossible to have a child, age was of course a factor, but thanks to IVF she is now the mother.

As you scroll down this list of achievements, be encouraged, let hope rise within you.

Doubt if you may, but never ever give up your hopes and dreams of becoming a parent.

Let 2020 be the year you rekindle your zeal and trust in God. If you have stopped trying for lack of funds find out if help is available where you leave .

Whatever you do.. trust, belief, and hope for hope is the confident expectation that something good will happen.

I pray it happens this year for you.

Happy New Year.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Relevant liRead More »

The Egg Freezing process

There are so many things couples faced with infertility have to consider, also single women and those undergoing chemotherapy also have to consider how to deal with their verity. 

Freezing one’s eggs is the best option to secure ones future as parents or to at least keep one’s hope of being a parent alive.

 

UK law allows you to store your eggs for up to 10 years.

In the UK, egg freezing costs on average between £3,500 and £4,500 for one cycle of treatment. In addition to this price, you’ll have to pay an annual fee to keep your eggs stored (from £200 to £360).

What is Egg Freezing?

Egg freezing is a method of preserving a woman’s fertility so she can try and have children at a later date.it involved collecting a woman’s egg, freezing them to allow her to have a baby later on when she’s ready. 

With marriage at an all time low and women finding the right partner much later it makes sense to freeze one’s eggs to ensure that when the time comes one can still have a baby. 

There are other medical reasons for freezing one’s eggs.

To embark on chemotherapy or If a woman  is due to undergo other medical treatment involving some potent drugs.

Also a woman’s chances of conceiving naturally falls as she gets older, becomes the egg quality decreases egg freezing ensures that the best quality eggs are frozen and preserved which can be thawed at a later date.

Key facts:

In 2017, 19% of IVF treatments using a patient’s own frozen eggs were successful.

It’s becoming more successful but by no means a guarantee of having a baby.

Funding may be available if you’re having treatment that affects your fertility. (Source hfea.co.uk)

Is egg freezing for you?

You might be wondering if egg freezing is for you. 

It may be, if you fall into any of the following.

  1. You currently have a medical condition or intend to undergo a treatment for a medical condition which can affect your fertility. 

  2. You are getting on in age and have not met the right partner to start a family with and worried about your quality of egg decking as you get older 

  3. Members of the armed forces who bring deployed to a war zone.

Process

Before egg freezing, you will be tested for HIV and Hepatitis, to ensure that affected samples are stored separately from unaffected samples. 

Once collected the eggs will  a crypto protectant which is a freezing solutions will be added to the eggs. The eggs will be frozen either by cooking them down slowly or by fast freezing called vitrification. 

The fast freezing is regarded as the best methods to adopt for preservation given its success rate. 

When you are ready to use your eggs, they will be thawed and fertilised with the sperm. 

THE COST 

The process of freezing eggs is expensive. On average the cost of having the eggs collected is about £3,350.

Egg storage cost between £125 and £350 per year. 

There maybe unexpected cost added in by the clinic, so It is important to get a full cost of the treatment plan.

Thawing eggs and transferring them to the womb costs an average of £2,500. So, the whole process for egg freezing and thawing costs an average of £7,000-£8,000.

Egg freezing is becoming more popular as more people are freezing their eggs.

In 2017, there were 1,463 egg freezing cycles (in comparison to almost 70,000 IVF treatment cycles overall). Between 2010 and 2017, around 700 babies were born through frozen eggs in the UK.

If you do decided to freeze your eggs be sure to carry out some background checks on the clinic before embarking on the process. Be sure to check out the success rate for women in your age bracket.

Summary.

Eggs can only be kept for 10 years unless exceptional medical circumstances, where you can be allowed to store the eggs up to 55 years. 

To use frozen eggs for fertility process it has to be thawed, the eggs are fertilised via a fertility treatment proves known as ICSI. 

This is because the freezing process makes the outer coating around the egg tougher making fertilisation via turn normal IVF process harder. 

You must update your records at the clinic they do change. This is so that you can be contacted before the 10 years limit for destroying the eggs. 

Your Partner In Hope 

D’Ebi

Related links

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/09/27/ivf-process-step-by-step/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/08/13/single-women-and-ivf/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/04/15/exploring-other-options-icsi/

Sources

NHS

HFEA