Category: Infertility awarness

Unimagined

D'EbiLeave a comment

This season is one of giving, retail outlets expects this to be a profitable season as shoppers look for that perfect gift for their families and friends.

I have seen some stunning gift wrapping techniques which puts to shame my limp attempt at wrapping . I am consoled by this saying “it’s the thought that counts, not the wrapping”.

This is so true, I have never seen anyone who decides not to unwrap their gift simply because the wrapping paper was too pretty. Without fail, adults and kids immediately tear into the wrapper hoping to find something of worth, something they imagined, or something unexpected.

Christ was an unexpected gift, although he was a promised king he was not a longed waited child. So His birth and everything surrounding it was unimagined.

Who would have imagined angels will appear to shepherds announcing his arrival?

Who would have imagined God will choose a teenage girl to use as a vessel via which a saviour will come.

Who would have imagined that Herod will be so cruel as to kill innocent children because he feared what that child will become?

Who would have imagined he would come, walk amongst men and perform so many miracle.

Who would have imagined this “King”, would die willingly and rise again?

Everything about his arrival, life, death and resurrection was unimaginable, which makes Christmas special.

As you wait for your own arrival one day. I am sure you have imagined the moment you find out you are expecting, you have imagined how your child will look, imagined their first steps, smile etc.

But God’s promise are unimaginable, even your best imagination has not yet imagined what God has in store for you..

How reassuring it is that we can’t out imagine God, His ways are past finding out.

As you wait and expect your burden of Joy, know that your eyes have not seen, your ears have not heard, neither your heart considered or imagined what God has in store for you.

it is unimaginable.

Your partner in Hope

Debi

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Moments of Splendors, The Christmas Promise, Christmas Traditions, The Christmas Miracle, The Possbilities of Christmas Christmas and waiting: Blessings In Waiting

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Moments of Splendors

D'EbiLeave a comment

What would you consider the most memorable time of your life?

Was it when you got married, got your degree, moved houses, got a new job? received a long expected news?

These are all great achievements to be celebrated but cannot be regarded as moments of splendor.

Moments of splendor was when an angel appeared to Mary and the wise men to tell of the birth of Jesus. They fell on their feet and worshiped. As the songs “the angel of the lord came down and glory shone around”.

I sometimes wondered what that moment was like for Mary and the shepherds: Some described their reaction as one of fear, but I think they were dazed, speechless and yes felt fearful, reverential fear.

This advent as you wait on your promise I pray that you will experience a moment of splendor in the revealing of whom Jesus His. May the power which came upon Mary Come on you and strengthened your body to conceive.

Enjoy this poem.

Moments of splendor, released by sparkling lights, Of angel piercing the skies, announcing the birth of our savior.

Moments of splendour it was as the angel said Fear not, good news is come Of a saviour born today In Bethlehem.

Such splendour thrills my heart. O the wonder of his birth, to see the glory of Christ our king.

Moments of splendour which brings hope. To know He came to be bruised, to be scorned, to be wounded.

That I might be made whole. In this my faith rest and my heart assured of His promise to me.

Your partner in Hope

Debi

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Christmas Traditions

D'EbiLeave a comment

There are several Christmas traditions we repeat yearly.

Some traditions involves, attending Christmas market, baking cookies, ginger bread. attending carol services, nativity trails.

In my house, we usually decorate a gingerbread man weeks before Christmas and my kids then have the difficult job of finishing it before the new year.

In some cultures and even now, the expectation is for young and single people, specially female to have graduated at 22, have a job at 23, get married at 24, and start having children and be done with that before 30.

When these things doesn’t happen in that order, we start to feel despondent and disappointed, afraid that our body clock is running out, eggs become deformed or unhealthy.

So traditions have placed on women the expectations to become a mother above all else.

These are traditions of men.

But do you know with God there are no traditions? It is in God’s nature to love us unconditionally and His love does not depend on our achievements.

As you wind down this year, pondering over what it would be like to have your own child at the time you wanted it, has it affected your peace, robbed you of joy and living your life to the full?

I want you to be free of the burden that has been placed on you by society. Anchor your hopes on Christ promises with No Fear for the future.

His love for us will not and it’s not dependent on whether we are parent.

His nature is to love us regardless of the expectation and traditions imposed on us by society, your families friends or spouse , just know that God’s love has no expectations he loves you regardless be secured in that love.

Your Partner in Hope

Debi

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The age question.

D'EbiLeave a comment

Yesterday’s post was about how the promised Christ was born 680 years after His birth was foretold.

Today I want to talk about another promised child Issace.

Abraham was 75 year old when God told him he will be a father of multitudes.

Becoming a parent at 75 in today’s world will be considered irresponsible, selfish, foolish, headlines screams “stupid”.

Our world have certain ideas and expectations of when our body should reproduce, never mind the wonders of technology, pregnancy over 40 is almost a taboo, let alone at 50,60 etc.

So for Abraham and Sarah to become parents at 100 is mind boggling to me.

Consider Sarah for a minute, she laughed when she heard the angel spoke of her being a mother. Sarah has written herself off, she knew she was pass her child bearing age, so that suggestion was not one she considered possible.

That laughter was load. It was doubt, it connotes the ridiculousnesses of the thought, it was filled with resignation.

But God fulfilled his promise to Abraham and Sarah and by so doing, paved the way for the Christmas promised “Christ”.

Because Jesus was from the linage of David who is a descendant of Issac.

Hope deferred makes the heart seek, says proverbs. simply put, the longer it takes, the more despondent we become.

I am not asking you to have children at 70, but to look at what is possible and what God can do.

You may have gone past what is considered to be the worlds ideal for child bearing age and have resigned yourself to not happening children.

God can heal, he turned Sarah’s womb and touched Abraham’s body – He can restore loss hope and bring a greater return than expected. Like Sarah and Abraham He can bring that long awaited promise to be.

If God can do it for Sarah, he is the same

Just as Sarah’s disbelief didn’t stop the promise from being fulfilled, so too, nothing can stop God’s promise to you.

Your partner in Hope

Debi

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The Christmas Miracle

D'EbiLeave a comment

The birth of Jesus was told over 680 years before he was actually born. God told the prophet Isaiah that a saviour would be born to a virgin mother. That didn’t happen for hundreds of years after the promise was given.

Did God forget to do what he told Isaiah? No.

Did he change his mind? No.

Did he make a mistake? No

I often wonder weather Isaiah felt despondent about the fulfilment of that promise.

God told him something, he knew it was God talking to him. Yet he did not see it fulfilled in his lifetime.

Isaiah must have felt unhappy, sad, and questioned if he had actually heard from God. I imagined that he even doubted what God said, would happen.

His feelings didn’t stop or delay the promise because when God says a thing, he always bring it to pass regardless of the time. Because he’s working on his timeline not on ours.

Isaiah’s doubt did hinder God. Of course we were not told that he felt this way, this is my imagination. I believe as a human being, he may have felt some form of disappointment at not seeing the promise come to pass.

So let me encourage you as you continue to wait for what you’ve heard God said to you, your doubts, discouragement, tears and even your seemingly faithlessness will not stop God because His promises will always come to pass. He is not a man that he should lie.

Just hold on, for Just like the Christmas story came to pass and a miracle baby was born hundreds of years after he was promised, so will your promise child be born in your lifetime because God is faithful.

Isaiah was the prophet God used by to foretell of his coming son. Be encouraged, that which you have been promised will come to pass.

Your partner in hope

Debi

Christmas and waiting, Advent: Season of Hope,

Celebratory seasons, Advent: Walking in Our shoes, Ad, The Christmas Promise

Advent: Walking in Our shoes

D'EbiLeave a comment

The story of Christmas is about Jesus coming as a baby. I have written about how the festivities surrounding this time of the year isn’t the reason he came.

One of the reasons he came was to step in to our world, to experience what it is like to be human.

The expression walking in someone’s else’s shoe is so apt here.

The Christ of Christmas came and lived amongst us, saw you in your world, your ache, your pain of waiting, witness the ache you felt from loss.

Saw you in the hospital gown as you wait for yet another egg extraction and another retriever, saw the pain of negative test etched on your face.

He came to your world and saw you and he knows the sadness loss, delays and disappointments brings, he knows how you feel right now. Because he experienced those same feelings too, while here on earth.

His life here on earth wasn’t palatable because even before he drew his first breath as a human, he was despised and rejected.

But Because he loves you and wants to show His love in the most insane way possible, he stepped into your world and walked where you are today.

As you continue in your own journey of trying, stop and think about this knowledge, he knows.

Be encouraged with this hope, comfort and assurance.

Because the reality is that he too left the comfort of His palace and came as a helpless baby. Galatians 3:4-5. 

Think about it.

For me he came. O a love so pure and true. That a king would come for me. O the wonder of it, I will never know.

Your partner in Hope

Debi

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Advent: Season of Hope

D'EbiLeave a comment

2nd day of Advent.

If you celebrate christmas you will no doubt have began the process of shopping, planning, and Preparing for this wonderful time of the year.

I love this season of faith, joy, festivities just before the new year, a time when we as a people, all come together in one to make merry.

To remember and celebrate the birth of Jesus. Certainly for some, this time is now synonymous with parties and travel and time with families as they call it “the holidays”.

But truly, Advent is observed in many Christian denominations as a time of expectant waiting and preparation for the arrival of Jesus.

In silence contemplation, not in the busyness of high streets shopping malls.

The early church were told of his coming and prepared for it. Although not the same way we now prepare for Christmas, they waited quietly not in chaos.

They waited in hope of a saviour promised to rescue them from the tyranny of their oppressor.

They waited and expected deliverance and a new dawn.

So you see, the story of Christmas is one of waiting.

For those waiting for a baby, this conjures many emotions.

The last post Celebratory seasons talked about how this seasons maybe dreaded by those waiting for a child, as they observe little darlings in their cute Christmas outfits and plays.

I have walked your shoes, waited for 8 years, multiple miscarriages, multiple failed IVFs, so I can relate to the feeling of dread at this very time. As hope waned, expectations strains, you feel all alone.

But my message to you today is to expect something different, expect to receive literally your desires.

Expect to receive the promise of peace, the comfort that comes from waiting and expecting, expect to be touched by Jesus, who is our Prince of Peace.

And continue to hold on as The angel said to Mary

“Blessed is She who believes, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which where told her from the Lord”.

I urged you to wait in Hope for the expected promises.

Look out for tomorrows post “Perspectives”.

Your Partner in Hope

Debi

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Celebratory seasons

D'EbiLeave a comment

Every year we celebrate all kinds of occasions, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, halloween, thanksgiving and christmas.

These season can be triggers for the couple in waiting, because without fail, we see parents adore their young kids with outfit and proudly shows them off.

I did the same when my girls were still little. without thought for how my waiting friends feels. No one intentionally parades their kids to cause distress, we all do it from a place of joy.

But I understand the pain and agony these images can cause. The despair cause by your failed attempt to get pregnant, the repeated miscarriage and the loss of a child.

When I was waiting I discovered that more than seeing friends or pregnant women, the seasons of celebration is the hardest one to face.

There is no escaping the gaiety in the air as you watch friends, dress up with their babies, teens, sons or daughters in teamed outfit.

O the tug at your heart strings as you imagine how you will dress your baby. You build a picture and hold on to the hope that it will one day be you dressing up your child.

These image seems to diminish as the years go by.

And every year as you watch others with their tiny little babies dress up for school plays for halloween themed party for thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, you hide in floods of tears, loathing another celebratory season.

I am reminded by this passage in Psalm 143:8. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love.

Yes seasons may come and go and our desires tarries, but God’s word never changes.

Anchor your hopes to it and hold on, let each celebratory season remind you of His unfailing love and as we approach Christmas when you will have to face Santa and school plays, remember his birth is the reason we are here but his death and resurrection is a promise that we can hold on to his promise, that he will grant us our hearts desires.

For if he did not withhold his Son from us, he will give us freely our hearts desires.

Peace.

Your partner in hope.

Debi

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To freeze or not.

D'EbiLeave a comment

This is still the question asked by many women. weather or not to freeze their eggs.

As the awareness around infertility increases I believe there should be deliberate effort to make women aware of how fertility works. From an early age, women should be informed of the decline in their fertility so that they can start to plan for pregnancy, if they so chooses.

Knowing this, the best time to conceive is in the 20s and 30s. However, if this is not possible due to education, career opportunities, ill health, financial constraints, etc., egg freezing should be considered.

Egg reserved are finite, with this information women should should start to plan pregnancy before they turn 35, because according to scientific research, news eggs stop growing at that age. Fertility drops around age 37 and shaply at age 40. At 40 years of age, the chances of natural conception remain only five to 10 percent.

Women can decide they will freeze their eggs, get married early or delay pregnancy but still freeze their eggs. Having this knowledge empowers a woman in their choices

Since women’s fertility is finite, they don’t have the cells which will produce new eggs in the ovaries and the number of existing eggs is reserved. But, there are options to overcome this biological clock barrier.

Egg freezing is an option for women of childbearing age . Given the times we are living in now when more women are achieving their academic and financial potential, I think women should also achieve their dreams Of being a mum and one way to achieve this, is to freeze their eggs while young.

Women can conceive after menopause if they have chosen to freeze their eggs/embryos in their younger years.

I have seen too many friends who were not aware of this option now childless. Some have partners and would have gladly used A frozen egg. Others have no partners but would have settled for a child of their own using their own frozen eggs.

Another options is to use donor eggs, if you have not previously frozen your eggs

This will be done via IVF. The success of IVF also depends on the age and egg reserve of women. Doctors recommend the use of eggs when women are at their optimum age of reproduction and have plenty of egg reserve.

Platelets rich plasmas is injected into the ovaries

This is why egg freezing is important as it ensures that the best quality eggs are frozen and use when needed. Similarly a donor eggs are collected from younger healthy women and used by menopausal women.

If you are a young woman speak with your doctor regarding your options and what is involved in egg freezing process.

To be continued.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

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