Unplanned Pregnancy

The planning, dreaming, scheming and hopes of the future can be seen in the eyes of newly wedded couples.

They have plans, written and spoke.

Where To live, jobs and career plans, places to visit, number of children to have.

Once settled and and the stage is set for children then begin the wait.

As months turns into years it begins to dawn on them that their plans isn’t going according to script.

We soon realise our plans have fallen through after several test, appointments and disappointments. The dreams and hopes begin to grow deem.

Mary had plans to wed Joseph her sweet heart, only for those plans to be scuppered by an unplanned pregnancy. An unwed mother, what scandal, how will she face the world? Joseph was definitely going to leave her.

Explaining why you remain childless is one of the hardest thing to do. how do you respond to the the unspoken accusation, the questioning looks, the side remarks and unkind comments.

How do you explain that this isn’t part of your plan? This isn’t how it was supposed to turn out.

To us and those around us, the waiting doesn’t make any sense. Just as being a pregnant virgin did not make sense to anyone.

Who was going to believe she was carrying the Messiah, the saviour of the world.

Mary yielded herself to God and trusted that his plans for her are perfect.

Do you feel like your plans for a baby has been hijacked? let the story of a virgin Mum inspire you. Believe that the end of your story holds something good.

For the best laid plans are those planned by the master.

Your Partner in Hope



Fearful Wait.

Do I dare to hope?

Do I dare believe?

Do I dare trust that it will all work out?

Do I dare take a peek at the future?

Do I dare dream that this will be a reality?

The story of the waiting soul goes through endless questions which may seem stupid?

Hope, faith and trusts don’t come easily to the soul that’s weary from waiting.

The roller coaster of emotions we feel is as a result of the uncertain brought on my our demise.

I remember how I felt after being told “my condition was unexplained”. I couldn’t get the thought that medicine had no explanation for my ailment. I was deeply troubled. How can I embark on a treatment without knowing the cause?

I had questions without answer. I feared that I was going to face life without kids. Every appointment was fear filled, every test result waited upon with apprehension,

Fear and uncertainty are constant companion to those waiting.

Mary the mother of Jesus was afraid at the news that she was to become an unwed mother to the promised Messiah.

So many thought ran through her mind.

Fear Not”, said the angel.

She was reassured it would be alright and she held on to that word.

Fear not fellow travellers, when the road seem endless and you become weary from waiting.

Release your fears to the messiah and he will soothe them away.

Trust the path he has chosen for you and walk in faith.

Your Partner in Hope.


Infertility: A lonely Journey

I grabbed a magazine and waited my turn in the Dr’s waiting room. I decided against reading and instead struck up a conversation with the lady next to me. We immediately bonded and exchanged tales of our plight. Half way Into the conversation she commented, it’s so lonely though, to which I replied,  yes it can be.

I previously shared how lonely infertility can  be here; Christmas and waiting:: Although we do have friends and family who care, when it comes down to it the pain of disappointment is all yours, nobody else’s. The trips,  appointments for endless test and procedures are all yours. Just you and your partner’s as the case maybe

How do you explain a pain so deep to those who are not in it. How do you explain the constant tears, how do you talk about the ache from that first, second and third loss? It is unexplainably and our reaction to it is can also seem unreasonable.

Loneliness at Christmas is especially pronounced. Sitting at the dinner table with the laughter of nieces and nephews only serves to highlight the empty nest waiting for you back home.

If you feel especially lonely now or at any other time, remember the name ”IMMANUEL”. Meaning God with us.

This is one of the names of the promised Messiah. “God with us.

He is with us

In the waiting room,

At the dinner table,

At the operating theatre,

As we suffer another miscarriage

As we face the questioning stares and audible alterations of others.

The promised Messiah is with us. Holding, soothing, caring and reassuring us.

His presence brings peace, hope, joy and answers.

He was certainly my hope and strength during my wait. I had his presence which gave me strength every step of the way. Some people questioned my lack of intense misery and mistook my inability to conceive as a conscious decision not to have kids. The opposite was true.

I exhibited my pains in his presence and he in turn he infused me with joy for the journey as a result of his presence, the journey was no longer lonely. I can talk with him and pour out my heart to him because he is with me.

Be encouraged today, the promised child is the risen saviour who is always with you. You can count on his present as you journey through Infertility.

Your Partner in Hope


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A Huge Cost:

40 years ago the first IVF baby was born. Since then thousands of babies have been born via this process at a huge cost.

The decision to undergo the IVF process is very often the last resort after other means of conception has been tested without success.

It is the last choice for couples because undergoing the procedure comes at a huge cost. And very few couples succeed at the very first try. We certainly didn’t. It took 3 attempts before we fell pregnant.

What price would you pay to have a child? So many couples have remortgage their properties, incur huge debt and lost their health in their quest to have their precious baby.

As I ponder over the Christmas story it struck me that God gave Christ to us at Christmas to redeem the world.

Redeeming mankind came at a huge cost to him. He gave up something precious to gain many sons and daughters.

If you are struggling and trying to come to terms with the cost you have to put to get your a child, be conformed in the knowledge that your Heavenly Father took a very painful decision to give up His Son for the redemption of mankind.

You may have paid a great price in your quest for a baby. Subjecting your body to endless probe and test, enduring the pain of lost pregnancies and stillbirth,

and determined to try again.

Your Heavenly Father walked where you walked, he suffered lost for a greater joy.

At Christmas while Earth welcomed a baby, heaven moaned a lost.

My prayer and hope for you this 4th day of Advent is that you too will have the outcome you so desire. That your pain will not be in vain and the price you have had to pay will be worth it in the end.

Because, He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

Romans 8:32

Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, because he has come to his people and redeemed them. Luke 1:68.

Your Partner in Hope.


Comfort & Joy: in the mist of infertility.

O the pains brought on by this infertility is excruciating. It reaches deep into the soul and affects every facet of our lives. It is visible for all to see and It stands out like a sore thumb.

It looks insurmountable like a great big mountain.

Our womb like a rugged road incapable of holding a child.

Our sperm seems so dead that all hope seems lost.

The outlook so bleak we become blur by endless tears from our pain.

The picture of infertility does not inspire joy.

So too was the picture of a child in a manger. Picture the manger with farm animals and a baby inside, this was not the beautiful nativity scene we see today.

I imagine it was smelly, with hen droppings, bleats of goats, very small and uncomfortable indeed. But inside that manger was a child promised to bring comfort and joy to the world.

Yes, the picture of a baby inside a manger was not inspiring but the baby was.

He came to make every crooked path straight,

Every mountain  brought low.

Every rugged places plain.

Every valley raised.

Every rough ground level.

What does this means for us today? To me it means he made the impossible possible

I can find the different causes of infertility in all of what Jesus came to change. Crooked paths, rugged places, rough patches and low valleys, what infertility represents.

Picture your situation and picture the child who came thousands of years ago, to bring hope, comfort and Joy to all.

Christmas isn’t just a feel good story, Christmas happened. Christmas is Christ in every difficult situation making them better. As you celebrate his birth this Christmas, whatever your diagnoses, picture him bringing comfort and Joy into it

Your partner in Hope


A Little Town, A Great Outcome: The Christmas PromiseHope Against HopeDon’t tire, keep trying.

A Little Town, A Great Outcome:

There were times during my wait I felt like my problems were too little to border God with.

God had more important issues to handle not to be hounded by my constant request to have a baby. I felt my needs were little compared to the millions of others suffering around the globe.

I was so consumed with my desires and my inadequacies that I gave myself a timeline to stop trying.

So you can imagine my excitement when I discovered this passage in Micah 6:3.

That great things can come out of little insignificant things.

But you, Bethlehem Ephratah, though you be little among the thousands of Judah, yet out of you shall he come forth to me.

The one to be ruler in Israel; whose goings forth have been from of old, from everlasting.

Bethlehem was a little insignificant town, but was significant enough for the Messiah to be born there.

He who already existed from everlasting came from Bethlehem.

This was a light bulb moment for me, though my issue maybe little, God can bring a great testimony out of it.

You may be at a cross road right now wondering if it will all make sense in the end.

You may feel small, insignificant amidst the buzz around you this Yuletide.

Be assured that Your infertility story is not insignificant.

Your faith though weak and small, is not insignificant.

Your diagnoses thought unexplained, is not insignificant.

Your many miscarriages though discounted by others, isn’t insignificant.

Just as God choose Bethlehem to be the birthplace of Jesus, who is the the messiah,

So too, he will bring something great and worthwhile out of your story. The little town of Bethlehem became a significant town throughout eternity.

As you reflect today, let hope infuse you with vigor. Place your trust in God who accurately predicts the future. He has chosen you.

Your Partner in Hope


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The Christmas Promise

So here’s what I decided to do this first day of advent and throughout this advent period, post encouraging words for those in waiting.

Christmas and the period leading up to it are usually the loneliest for the heart in waiting.

As the season unfolds, the couple in waiting is usually not the focus, instead a baby in a manger is. How do you relate to this? How do you celebrate the birth of a child when your hearts desires lingers.

So on this first day of advent I want to encourage you with this words taken from Jeremiah 33:14-15.

The days are coming declares the Lord, when I will fulfill the gracious promise that I made to the house of Israel and the house of Judah.

In those days and in that time, I will make a righteous shoot sprout from David’s line.

He will maintain justice and righteousness in the land.

I was reminded of this scriptures recently and encouraged by it. It’s comforting to know that God still fulfills promises.

The birth of Jesus was the fulfilment of the gracious promise he made to the house of Israel and Judah. He honoured the promised and it happened exactly as he said it would. Jesus came from David’s line and he maintained justice and righteousness in the land.

So as we approach the season of merriment be encouraged. Hold on to the promise he made to you. He said there shall be none barren or miscarriage in your home. Hold on to this and remind him of his word.

The days are coming when he will fulfil the gracious promise he made to you.

Just as Christ was the promised future hope and in His birth, death and resurrection the promise was fulfilled.

So too, he will birth in you a hope that will see you through to the fulfilment of his gracious promise.

So let not your heart be troubled.

Your Partner in Hope


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On the 10/11/1977 IVF was born in the person of Louise Brown. She was born at Oldham and District Hospital in Greater Manchester weighing 5lb 12oz.

Fast forward 40 years and thousands of couples have fulfilled their hopes of becoming parents VIA IVF. Louise Brown was the first of many children born via the IVF PROCESS.

A  process which has made the dreams of many couples including ours come true. Our first daughter was conceived via this process and I can truly say we are eternally grateful to have her in our lives.

Across the world this November, the birthday of the IVF process is being celebrated.

If you are still sitting on the edges wondering if this process is for you. A few stats may help you decide.

According to NHS

There are 1 In 7 couples with fertility problems.

6.5m IVF babies have been born worldwide since this technique began.

There are more than 325,000 IVF babies born from IVF to date.

24.8% of frozen embryo resulted in live birth.

26.5% of fresh embryo resulted in live birth.

15.6% resulted in multiple pregnancy

According to Resolve male fertility issues are as common as female, each represents 33% while unexplained is 33%.

Is IVF for you? This is a personal question one that can only be answered by you and your partner, taking into consideration the statistics as well as the cost of getting treatment.

Consider all the options available to you and make your decision of becoming a parent possible.

Leave us a comment and let us know your IVF story: we would love to hear from you.

Your Partner in Hope


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Don’t Quit

For those waiting for anything, giving up is always an option.

The thought of quitting is ever present especially when the battle is fierce.

Why should I carry on I use to ask myself? I Have a perfectly good Ife with the best man ever. Together we can travel the world and live as “DINKs”. (Double Income No Kids).

These thoughts where constantly present especially after a hard fought battle.

I came across this poem while trying and kept it in my diary.

I was encouraged by it to stay the course and I hope it encourages you too.

Don’t Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will. When The Road you’re trudging seems all uphill

When the funds are low and the debts are high. And you want to smoke but you have to sign.Trust in the Lord and don’t quit.

Life is strange with its twist and turns, As everyone of us sometimes learns. And many a person turns about.

When he might have worn had he stuck it out.

Don’t give up. Though the pace seems slow. You may succeed with another blow.

Often the struggler has given up when he might have captured the victor’s cup. And he learned too late when the night came down. How close he was to the golden crown.

Remember this truth when you start to doubt; Success is failure turned inside out;

Stick to the fight when you are harder hit. It’s when things seems worse that you mustn’t quit.

Your Partner in Hope


A Full Life: October is dedicated to pregnancy and infant loss.

October is dedicated to pregnancy and infant loss. 

Usually when we remember those we have lost it is with sadness and a deep sense of wishes. 

I dedicate this poem to you during this month.

I want you to remember all the good things you have become as a result of your story. You have had a full life not an empty one. 

My life is full because of you. I may not yet hold you in my arms but you do exist in my thought, vision and reality. 
I thought I lost you when I bled, it did seem so, but through this valley I found stength and faithto carry on.

My heart is filled with hope bursting with joy at the prospect of what will be. 

My heart is fertile, better, bigger and full with love. Love that I will bequeat on anyone desevering or not. 

Today i remember you with love not sadness. For I know I carry you always in my heart. 
Your partner in waiting