A pandemic Problem

I cannot begin to imagine your ache. I said to my friend. Who was due to fly to India to start her IVF treatment when the pandemic broke. On the one hand she was glad she’s not stuck in India with no family member and unable to commence treatment.

On the other hand she’s disappointed in the uncertainty of not knowing, when it will start again.

So many stories like this abound. Stories of plans put on hold indefinitely because of a pandemic. A pandemic?

No one saw this coming,

Which makes it all the more difficult to accept.

IVF is not a decision made lightly. It is a huge investment both financially and emotionally.

Since the lockdown, my friend has been plagued with anxiety.

The uncertainty of not knowing when, the lack of control over the whole process. The anxiety of age not being on her side.

As days turned into weeks and weeks into months, her anxiety level slowly reduced. She busied herself with looking for alternatives to being a birth/biological mum.

She looked at alternatives like adoption and surrogacy.

Point to Note.

The very act of being engaged in something else has filled her with hope and encouragement, vision for the future and she’s able to hope and dream again.

Most days after her day job, she settles down begin her research.

She’s now has so much knowledge on the topic of adoption and surrogacy, and she’s contacted a few agencies to make enquires.

Although everything is still on a pause, she’s been able to find something positive to do with her spare time.

Possibilities

I believe that “nothing is impossible to anyone who believes”.

No matter the set back, the knock backs and the upset. Believe that something good is around the corner.

Yes, your world has been upended with this pandemic. There’s still hope.

Here in England we are 2 months into the lock down with things some slowly starting again.

Occupy yourself till such time as you can begin treatment again.

just as my friend did, she became open to the possibility of Adopting and surrogacy, something she’s previously refused to consider.

Another thing to note is, my friend‘S been able to really connect with her partner and together they have resolved to trust God more and be accepting of whatever end he chooses.

Something she’s previously not contemplated. She’s more at peace at the thoughts and is even happier for it.

She’s not given up on her dream

Of becoming a mum, but now more trusting of God and the future he has planned for her family.

My encouragement to you too is to see the possibilities a pandemic can bring, a renewed zeal, focus, hope and faith in the process and in the father God.

I pray that soon services will resume again and treatment can commence.

Till then, hold on change is coming,

Hold on don’t worry about a thing.

Cos Gods got it under control.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

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Strategies to cope while in lockdown

How to stay sane during lock down

I use to be a very anxious person and I can say it is not a pleasant place to be. I worried about everything. So I know that being anxious affects so many aspects of ones life.

At the beginning of the lock down and home schooling I felt I can handle it so at first it didn’t seem terrifying. But anxiety soon sets in when the realization of it all hits me.

Working from home and home schooling 2 kids, with a dad who’s a key worker set my pause racing. I soon lost control.

My mum lives with us and a week into the lock down, my she had a bad case of sciatica , this meant she couldn’t move and help herself with basic chores.

Soon I found I had 3 people to help during the day, plus WFH as well as the constant worry of what would happen if their dad gets the virus.

I found myself waking up with palpitations and

Worrying about any and everything.

I didn’t like the way I felt and knew

I had to do something fast, so I went back to back to basics. I went back to what I knew and abandoned.

These are the 10 techniques I used to cope during the lockdown.

1. Yoga and meditation: I was never keen at siting still , but occasionally I meditate and practice some breathing techniques. I helped my kids log into their yoga classes and soon joined in. Soon I noticed a calmness after every session. Maybe because I laughed so much at the way they threw themselves into it. But it did helped me a great deal.

2. I also mediate by coloring, I dig out my old coloring book and began to enjoy the quietness it brings as I color in the words and pictures. As I could in the word “peace”. I say things like “I have peace in my life”. “I let peace reign over me and my family”. “I release every anxiety into the hands of God and I release myself into peace”. this single act always releases me Into a peaceful state.

3. I Talk to myself. It is not a sign of maddness. I do this particularly when I feel the anxiety starting to build up. I tell Myself to stop and calm down and then engage in guided breathing

4. I have a list of everything which helps me stay calm, like a hot bath, mediations, reading, watching a comedy, exercise, e.g.,walking, jogging, skipping and dancing. I pick one or two and do a different one everyday.

5. I go over old photo albums and videos and relive memories of good times like holidays, my kids school plays, family BBQs, this feels me with joy as I imagine myself in that place of happiness and peace again.

6. I limit what I listen to and watch on the news. The constant consumption was also a reason for heighten anxiety.

7. I refuse to compare myself to anyone else. You might feel pressure to want to do something as everyone else seems to be doing something for a good cause.if you find something you want to be a part of do the little you can, but do not feel pressured to do something because everyone is doing same.

8. I focus on the here and now. While I picture life after the lockdown, I do not think too far ahead, because the prospect can become too daunting. Think about the next hour or minute. When you do that everything becomes easier. focus on the mundane, the everyday activities like taking a shower, brushing your teeth. Having a meal. Find peace in the simple things you normally do daily without taking notice.

9. Connection is vital. Stay connected to families and friends, organize a zoom call. I had a call with some friends at church the other night and it helped a lot as we all chatted about everything and what we were facing and how each of us was struggling. We shared ideas of how we are handling the lock down. It was such a relaxed evening.

10. I always started the day by reading my bible and my positive mindset book and also end it with a prayer . I mediate on a few lines as I drift off to sleep, with a quiet music in the background, it works every time.

There you have it.

I hope this might help someone out there, as they navigate life under lockdown.

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi