What’s In A Name.

Choosing a name for your child will be one of the most exciting things you will have to do while you wait. 

We didn’t pick names until we were expecting and even then, we waited well into the pregnancy, and only decided on names after our babies were born. 

Some already know what to call their new born. It maybe a family name. A name after a grandparent, or someone important whom they want to honour by naming their child after them.

Mary and Joseph had no such problem. The name of Jesus was chosen by God. They didn’t have to debate or research appropriate names for Him.

God chose the name “Jesus” because his name was to be exactly what it means.

  1. Jesus – saviour. 

  1. Immanuel – God with us. 

  1. Wonderful Counsellor – one who guides and leads His children in the right path 

  1. The Everlasting Father. – a father who is there all all times 

  1. The prince of Peace. – Does exactly want it says. He brings us peace. 

As you ponder over the name for your child, think on the name of Christ. 

What does He mean to you? 

Infertility is a name but the name of Jesus is “wonderful counsellor, he will counsel you in making the right choices.

He will be with you during dark and disappointing days.

He will be your “prince of peace” during the turmoil of your infertility journey. 

As you await another surgery,. Think of  His name,

“God With Us”. He is Always With Us holding you and working out his best plans for you. 

As you contemplate the future wondering if it will ever come to pass. Remember He is the prince of peace. Invite His peace into your heart. 

His peace passes all understanding, You will be at peace with your future because he who brings peace will never leave you and will bring His Perfect plan for you to be.  

This Christmas, know that the name of Jesus is more than a name, His name is the everlasting father. Always there, loving, caring, comforting. 

Wishing You all a Merry Christmas 

Your Partner in Hope.

D’Ebi. 

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Good News of Great Joy

And the angel said to them, do not be afraid for I bring you good news of great joy. Luke 2:10

Expecting something and receiving it does not diminish the we joy we get from the gift.

My kids always write their Christmas list. they pretty much know what gifts they will receive on Christmas day. Receiving it doesn’t stop them from being excited.

I also know what I will receive and I am always excited to unwrap the paper and see my chosen gift.

The angels announced the gift that will bring us good news of great joy.

The promised Advent. saviour brought great Joy. His arrival did not diminish the joy felt when the angel saw him.

This is a sign that whatever promises we are expecting, and holding on to, it will be one that will bring great joy.

Though the wait may seem long as the years roll on, hold on to his promises for when it comes, it will be one of great joy.

The length of the wait will not diminish the joy that comes with the promise.

Just hold on, look with expectations to the promise that is coming which will bring great joy.

Your Partner in Hope.

D’Ebi

Related post

Advent: Day 7, His perfect plan.

Our Hope This Easter

Christmas promise

Advent: Day 7, His perfect plan.

Continuing on in the season of advent 

Joseph  thought he’d lost control of the situation 

When the young girl he was to be wedded found out she was pregnant.  

Her parents felt she had brought shame on them.

Both families I imagine, felt they had lost control of the situation. 

Their well laid plans appear to be in shambles. 

Like most parents, I imagined they questioned why.

“Why does he have to choose us”?, 

“How can we be so sure she’s carrying the messiah? 

“Who will believe she had a visit from the angel”?

Infertility, miscarriage, endometriosis, blocked tubes has scattered your best laid plans and presented you with an an uncertain future. 

Your diagnosis isn’t very good, although you continue to hold on. And it seems, the longer the wait the weaker your faith. you become unsure sure how much longer you can hold on.

Mary and Joseph didn’t know what was happening but chose to trust God’s plans.  His plans have a way of unfolding and working out for our good.

Maybe not exactly the way we expected, but in the end for our good. 

God could have waited for Mary and Joseph to be married before coming via a legitimate route. giving legitimacy to Christ’s birth, but he chose another way. 

It turns out His way was better than their plans. His plans unfolded right before their eyes and in the end was better than.

Your path towards parenting will unfold at the right time. Right now it seems like it may not happen, as you are faced with one setback after another. Continue to hope in God, this hope is not a wish but a certainty in the fulfilling of your heart’s desire.

This Christmas look to Jesus to find enduring hope and lasting peace.

Commit your worries and fears to hIm, your doubts cannot stop His plans from coming to pass. Nothing will.

He will bring His joy right into your situation and rest your heart while you wait. 

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Wishes vs Hope:

Joy After 𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗻

Treatment and COVID-19

IVF AND COVID-19.

The Outbreak of Covid-19 has sadly affected all aspects of our lives and more importantly our health.

As the spread of the virus continues Governments across the globe have had to take difficult decision in an attempt to protect the human race.

I have bee watching the trend and listened keenly to the news being shared. One thing that have been overlooked in all the main stream media outlet is the impact it has on IVF treatment. Once again infertility and IVT treatments takes bottom page on the list of important illness.

Stories being shared around the world shows that it is becoming increasingly difficult to access IVF treatments presently. Ash Mogg and her partner had waited almost a year to a publicly funded list in Ontario and were about to begin the process in two weeks, but their hospital has suspended the treatment indefinitely.

Health Authorities across the world have taken the decision to halt all IVF treatment. The Times of Isreal reported that Isreal has stopped all new IVF treatments over the coronavirus fears. Due to the fear that it could spread in clinics and potentially harm foetuses.

Similar decision has also been taken by the European Society of Human Reproduction and the Embryology and the American Society for Reproductive Medicine.

These decisions were no doubt taken seriously with the safety of everyone affected.

The risk involve with continuing is too great to take. Apart from the risk for the medical technical performing the treatment, there is an increased risk for the patients undergoing the treatment due to the delicate nature of the process and close monitoring during the egg transfer phase, blood testing phase.

The waiting rooms of many IVF clinics are often small and holds between 30 to 40 women and their spouses at any given time. And, given the guidelines on social distancing, enforcing this will be difficult.

Furthermore, there is the added risk during the transferring of the embryo requiring extreme hygiene measures. This is a new virus and it is still unclear what effect if any it may have on foetuses.

the way it is spreading calls for urgent and severe measures to be taken. Never before has the world been shut down even in times of war.

Although the severity of the situation has left many couples heart broken, as their dreams of becoming parents are further, put on hold.

It is especially painful and heart wrenching for those who have had to stop their treatment mid-way. For some women, age is not on their side making this extremely hard to deal with.

I cannot imagine being in your place, I can only encourage you to keep your eyes on the goal. Now more than ever, stay strong. This too shall pass.

Practical things to do to as you wait.


If you must follow the news, limit it to specific times of the day.

Engage your mind with positive messages. Limit your exposure to social media, news outlets and other sources of negativity that may cause you to worry and panic.

  • Keep up to date with what is happening in the world of fertility treatment. Your hospital will also be sending out communications during this time to keep you updated on the developments.

Do something you have always wanted to do. If your city is locked down, take up gardening spring is here clear out the shed and bring out the flower pot

Plant some potted herbs or your favourite flower, watch it grow and bloom and as it does, say a prayer of hope faith that you too will grow and bloom soon with your own baby.

Take an online course learn a language, cooking skill, book club, dance class. The list is endless.

Iife must go on because here there is life, there is hope. My prayer through this is that we will all

I find our true purpose and embrace the real meaning of life.

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi

2020: The Year Where the impossible, becomes Possible.

As the 2019 draws to a close, I want to remind us of some impossible feats which became possible.

Humans have achieved so many remarkable things and are still capable of achieving more.

So here we are, the end of 2019.

You may be left disappointed because your hopes and dreams are still what they are hopes and dreams. And may even feel further from the goals you set as even more odds are stacked against you.

What’s the point? you ask yourself.

Well a reminder of great feats accomplished by fellow humans, may encourage you to keep the fire of your dreams and hopes burning to continue to stir the oar and to stay the course.

The four minute mile:

In 1954 at the age of 25, Roger Bannister became the first runner to break the 4 minute mile mark.It was a feat thought impossible at that time. He ran 4 miles for the first time in 1954 with his time at 3:59:4.

This single feat unlocked the possibilities of what men and women went on to achieve in track and field events. what was once deemed impossible has since become the standard for middle distance runners.

Moon landing:

The first moon landing was on 13th September 2013 by the Soviet Union’s Luna.

However on 20th July1969, the United States became the first country to send a manned mission to the moon. Again this was another accomplishment on the feathers of history. And several manned missions have since been embarked upon.

The longest Ice bath.

Wim Hof, holds the world record for the longest Ice Bath. He sat for 1 hour 12 mins in a bath of ice without His core body temperature failing. This was considered medically impossible, yet he proved it can be done.

Consecutive Marathons

In 2013, the Guinness Book of record,recorded that three hundred and sixty six full consecutive marathons was run by Jeannette and Alan Murray-Wakelin. No one has ever attempted this consecutively.

Electronic devices:

The world of technology has come a long way. You only have to look around you to know that humans have accomplished so much in the last century, a feat thought impossible, were imagined and today we have various means of communication.

Our telephones, our TV screens, smart home appliances, have changed the way we do things. The world has become smaller and impossible dreams have become possible.

The first flight.

The Wright Brothers made History when they became the first to achieve a short flight in 1903. This revolutionized the air travel and is regarded as one of the great technical achievements of all times

The development of Vaccines:

For a long time (centuries) life expectancy was low. Then came the great medical advances in the 19th and 20th centuries. As a result, many in the developing world have much longer life expectancy.

The first vaccines to be developed was by Edward Jenner. He developed the smallpox vaccine. And Louis Pasteur developed the Rabies vaccines

The development of vaccines have led to the decline and in some cases eradication of some deadly diseases

Climbing Mount Everest

On May 29th Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tensing Norgay climbed Mount Everest the highest peak in the Himalayas. This paved the way for so many others to attempt other daring adventures.

The first test tube baby.

On the 10/11/1977 IVF was born in the person of Louise Brown. She was born at Oldham and District Hospital in Greater Manchester weighing 5lb 12oz.

Since then, millions of babies worldwide have been born via IVF bringing joy to couples the world over and making their dreams come true.

Earlier today, while still lying in bed, I received a text message about a family member who had her first child,a beautiful baby girl at 52 years of age.

She had two blocked tubes and for years thought it was impossible to have a child, age was of course a factor, but thanks to IVF she is now the mother.

As you scroll down this list of achievements, be encouraged, let hope rise within you.

Doubt if you may, but never ever give up your hopes and dreams of becoming a parent.

Let 2020 be the year you rekindle your zeal and trust in God. If you have stopped trying for lack of funds find out if help is available where you leave .

Whatever you do.. trust, belief, and hope for hope is the confident expectation that something good will happen.

I pray it happens this year for you.

Happy New Year.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Relevant liRead More »

The Egg Freezing process

There are so many things couples faced with infertility have to consider, also single women and those undergoing chemotherapy also have to consider how to deal with their verity. 

Freezing one’s eggs is the best option to secure ones future as parents or to at least keep one’s hope of being a parent alive.

 

UK law allows you to store your eggs for up to 10 years.

In the UK, egg freezing costs on average between £3,500 and £4,500 for one cycle of treatment. In addition to this price, you’ll have to pay an annual fee to keep your eggs stored (from £200 to £360).

What is Egg Freezing?

Egg freezing is a method of preserving a woman’s fertility so she can try and have children at a later date.it involved collecting a woman’s egg, freezing them to allow her to have a baby later on when she’s ready. 

With marriage at an all time low and women finding the right partner much later it makes sense to freeze one’s eggs to ensure that when the time comes one can still have a baby. 

There are other medical reasons for freezing one’s eggs.

To embark on chemotherapy or If a woman  is due to undergo other medical treatment involving some potent drugs.

Also a woman’s chances of conceiving naturally falls as she gets older, becomes the egg quality decreases egg freezing ensures that the best quality eggs are frozen and preserved which can be thawed at a later date.

Key facts:

In 2017, 19% of IVF treatments using a patient’s own frozen eggs were successful.

It’s becoming more successful but by no means a guarantee of having a baby.

Funding may be available if you’re having treatment that affects your fertility. (Source hfea.co.uk)

Is egg freezing for you?

You might be wondering if egg freezing is for you. 

It may be, if you fall into any of the following.

  1. You currently have a medical condition or intend to undergo a treatment for a medical condition which can affect your fertility. 

  2. You are getting on in age and have not met the right partner to start a family with and worried about your quality of egg decking as you get older 

  3. Members of the armed forces who bring deployed to a war zone.

Process

Before egg freezing, you will be tested for HIV and Hepatitis, to ensure that affected samples are stored separately from unaffected samples. 

Once collected the eggs will  a crypto protectant which is a freezing solutions will be added to the eggs. The eggs will be frozen either by cooking them down slowly or by fast freezing called vitrification. 

The fast freezing is regarded as the best methods to adopt for preservation given its success rate. 

When you are ready to use your eggs, they will be thawed and fertilised with the sperm. 

THE COST 

The process of freezing eggs is expensive. On average the cost of having the eggs collected is about £3,350.

Egg storage cost between £125 and £350 per year. 

There maybe unexpected cost added in by the clinic, so It is important to get a full cost of the treatment plan.

Thawing eggs and transferring them to the womb costs an average of £2,500. So, the whole process for egg freezing and thawing costs an average of £7,000-£8,000.

Egg freezing is becoming more popular as more people are freezing their eggs.

In 2017, there were 1,463 egg freezing cycles (in comparison to almost 70,000 IVF treatment cycles overall). Between 2010 and 2017, around 700 babies were born through frozen eggs in the UK.

If you do decided to freeze your eggs be sure to carry out some background checks on the clinic before embarking on the process. Be sure to check out the success rate for women in your age bracket.

Summary.

Eggs can only be kept for 10 years unless exceptional medical circumstances, where you can be allowed to store the eggs up to 55 years. 

To use frozen eggs for fertility process it has to be thawed, the eggs are fertilised via a fertility treatment proves known as ICSI. 

This is because the freezing process makes the outer coating around the egg tougher making fertilisation via turn normal IVF process harder. 

You must update your records at the clinic they do change. This is so that you can be contacted before the 10 years limit for destroying the eggs. 

Your Partner In Hope 

D’Ebi

Related links

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/09/27/ivf-process-step-by-step/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/08/13/single-women-and-ivf/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/04/15/exploring-other-options-icsi/

Sources

NHS

HFEA

I See You

I may not have you in my arms

But I carry you in my heart

With each passing day

I see the image of you

Wrapped in beautiful cloth.

A sweet smile etched on your faces

I see you walking

I see you running

I see us do all the things mother and child do

Though others may not see what I see

Of this I am sure

I see the future with you in it.

I see you grow and become a fine human

And I see the day I will look back on the past and be thankful

I waited for you.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi


Related pieces

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/03/10/identity/

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/03/26/trust-and-joy-in-the-mist-of-pain/

Trust and Joy in the mist of pain

Mother’s Day and infertility

Celebration of mother is approaching in the UK. On the 31 March we will celebrate and acknowledge mothers

The airwaves, Churches, schools will put up a show to celebrate mothers. It is fitting to do this.

This is a particularly difficult time for anyone who’s trying to conceive.

As you watch others being celebrated a part of you always wonders when you too will be celebrated.

Celebrating mother’s on this day doesn’t take away from what you are experiencing.

If anything this celebration makes me focus even more on my demise. However dark and grim the situation may seem. Let me encourage you to focus on this one truth. This too will pass.

How and when I do not know. Let your trust be fully placed on the master.

Be reminded of this.

Habakkuk 3:17-19 

Though the fig tree do not blossom,

    nor fruit be on the vines,

the produce of the olive fail

    and the fields yield no food,

the flock be cut off from the fold

    and there be no herd in the stalls, 

yet I will rejoice in the Lord,

    I will joy in the God of my salvation. 

God, the Lord, is my strength;

    he makes my feet like hinds’ feet,

    he makes me tread upon my high places.

Re phrased it becomes

Thought my body will not respond to treatments and my monthly flow remains uncertain

Thought my womb refuse to yield and bear children as I get on in age.

My eyes will remain fixed on the Lord who is my strength. He alone will carry me and bring me into His perfect plan for me.

Sometimes we go through seasons of hardship, loss and deep pain. But no matter what we’ve lost, or wanted but never had, we can like Habakkuk rejoice in our relationship with a loving God.

Even when it feels like we have nothing else, He will never fail or abandon us.

He is the One who “provides for those who grieve His is our ultimate reason for joy (Isaiah 61:3).

Don’t endure Mother’s Day, celebrate it by fixing your eyes on him who loves you beyond reason.

Celebrate the unique experience of waiting and the worthiness of what he is fashioning within you.

Celebrate the person your are becoming as a result of the experiences you are face with

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi


Related post

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/03/25/celebrating-mothers-day/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/03/11/how-to-handle-the-pressures-of-mothers-day/

Whatever you do, Don’t Stop Trying.

Happy New Year, it seems like it was only yesterday we watched the fireworks display and then sang the Happy New Year song.

It’s 4 years now since  I stopped making New Year’s resolutions, simply because I never keep them.

I think same can be said for most people, resolutions are sometimes about our hopes and aspirations what we wish we could become in the New Year.

For me pre kids days, every year I resolve to be pregnant and set about to do everything I possibly can to bring that dream to to reality.

the funny thing was looking back now I use to include it as part of my New Year’s resolution.

The things we do to in our quest to have a baby.

So what’s your resolve this year? To be a parent? Either via natural conception, IVF, or adoption, whatever the route, I hope that this will be the year you see that reality.

My advice to you is this:

Don’t hesitate, whatever the method through which you expects to become a parent, begin to find out all you can about the process.

If it’s IVF, find out what’s available in your area, what are treatment options, The cost, the process and then book an initial consultation with your Doctor as a starting point.

If you have being through IVF before and receive a diagnosis follow it up, what’s the next step, can you embark on another course of treatment?

If you are considering adoption, find out about the process, what’s required of you, what’s the local authority procedure.

Get started now.

Are you thinking of surrogacy? How would you go about it?

What are the applicable laws where you are?

In all cases consider the financial and emotions impact on you as a couple or single, are there support groups that can help during each process?

I have previously written about each process

See the link below.

Whatever you do, don’t waste another moment, all the best as you embark on the next phase of your journey.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Relevant link:

On Funding

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/07/17/the-uk-commissioning-groups-decides-who-gets-funding-for-ivf-there-are-some-factories-they-take-into-consideration-i-deciding-who-gets-funded-this-post-looks-the-criterial-for-funding/

In Adoption

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/10/to-adopt-or-not/

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/10/06/the-adoption-process/

On Surrogacy

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/10/11/surrogacy/

Choosing a clinic

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/10/26/choosing-an-ivf-clinic/

Exploring treatment option

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/07/02/exploring-treatment-options/

Joy After 𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗻

I have previous written about the struggles of Gabriella Union  (46) in my post

speak out”.

In her interview to pure woman she told a heartbreaking story of going through 7-8 miscarriage. What pain she must have gone through. .

She found out that she has adenomyosis, which is endometriosis of the uterus. It occurs when the endometrial tissue, the same tissue that lines the uterus, grows into the the muscular wall of the uterus, causing intense period pain, prolonged and heavy menstrual bleeding and, in severe cases like Union’s, infertility.

Union did not give up, and than masked the problem which she felt they were doing by advising her to go on the pills, she felt the problem where being masked.

Fast forward to November 7 she and her husband Dwayne Wade  welcomes a beautiful Miracle baby girl via surrogacy.

Her Instagram post is one of pure joy. You can tell that although the road leading to this was littered with pain and tears it was also hope and faith filled.

She did not give up, when her body said no, she sought other option, surrogacy.

A cation on one of her Instagram post was “This little dynamo reminds me to never give up on my dreams “.

I wanted to share this story with you because it is one of faith, hope, and the miracle of having a baby against all odds.

You too maybe at a point where it seems all Hope is lost, you have tried and tried but still nothing seems to be happening.

Don’t give up, try and try again.

Explore the options available to you, do hide away in grief. Speak out. And seek help..

You deserve a baby you deserve to experience the joy of that first smile and many more afterwards. .

Joy and and hope is not the presence of a few.you too can and I hope will become a mum as you with hope, faith and vigor try one more time.

If you want to know more about surrogacy please see previous post here

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi