GOT A BIG STONE PROBLEM?

Back when my girls were still little, they often like picking up all sorts of strange things when we go out walking.

Like weeds which they call flowers, stones, which they call gold, papers, unusual items etc.

During one of those walks, we happened to come across a construction site, by the side of the road was a stone, they took turns trying to lift it, but couldn’t.‘mummy you try’, they chorused. I picked it up easily to their delight. mummy’s got powers they screamed.

It was a little stone to me but a big one to them.

This got me thinking, the problems we often face (infertility) seems immovable and enormous like stones we can’t shift or lift.

Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of Jesus and Salome had a big stone problem. On the 3rd day of Jesus’s death, they brought spices to anoint his body, on their way to the tomb they wondered amongst themselves: ‘Who shall roll away the stone away, it was very great.

As they made their way to the tomb, I imagined, it suddenly dawned on them, that none of them can roll the stone away. They have to anoint his body, now a stone STOOD in their way. Perhaps they considered who amongst Jesus’s friends to call for help.

Peters? ‘No, he’s no good, have you seen the state of him since the master was killed?’ Guilt has eaten him up.

James?

John?

Andrew? And one by one they eliminated the disciples. I am sure they considered going back, they must have, they had no tools, no help, and a big stone.

Should we go back? Let’s just continue, “we have come too far to turn back now”.

The question remains “Who will roll away the stone”?

Maybe it was Mary the mother of Jesus who insisted on carrying on, maybe something Jesus told her kept her going? Maybe she just wanted to be near her dear son.

Imagine their reaction when they got to the tomb to find that their problem had gone, “the stone has been rolled away”. Surprised, shocked, worry, fear, all kinds of emotions must have coursed through them.

Who will roll away the stone?

Became, who rolled the stone away?

What happened to him? Has someone taken him?

Now imagine their joy when they learn he’s alive!!!, the stone was rolled away by his mighty power, and he’s alive. Wow, not only was the stone rolled away, their greatest problem was solved, “Jesus is alive”.

Often we get to the end of ourselves only to discover that He has taken care of it all, our deepest fear of being without a child, a husband, living with that illness, a job.

No matter how big your stone, trust in the master who knows your end from the beginning.

What seems like a might problem to you is nothing to him, he will not only roll your stone away, he will bring you out ALIVE, unscathed, safe and secured.

Keep going, pin your hopes on him, He’s got all power, He will roll away every stone like problem.

Dark clouds will roll away and your night will turn to day. Tears to Joy. Hold out and he will bring you through.

This Easter, have you got a stone like problem? Cling to the master who rolls always heavy stones.

Your Partner in Hope

Debi

RELATED READS

Celebratory seasons, A Glimpse of Hope

mother’s Day/Others Day?

Here in the UK, we celebrate mother’s day on the 27th March of every year. It may be a different day wherever you are but one thing remains the same, for the women waiting, the feeling is the same.

That feeling of uncertainty, of wondering, not knowing, feeling of abandonment.

No matter where you on your journey, I salute you, your steadfastness, strength, your resilience in the face of pain and uncertainty.

For anyone who is currently waiting to be a mother, celebrating mothers doesn’t inspire joy in you, rather it does the opposite, it brings tears, isolation and dread, that maybe you may never experience being celebrated. 

You are an over comer, you have overcome the stigma and shame, the sorrows and the fear, the dread of tomorrow and you are now on your way to being more. So keep your hopes alive and continue to have faith.

You are an encouragement, a winner and you will one day tell your story of how you overcome.

To you I say Happy Mother’s Day.

Your Partner In Hope

D’Ebi

Related. Celebrating Mother’s day, Blessings In Waiting, Presents and Kids Hope does not bring shame. Does God Forgets

The Christmas Miracle

The birth of Jesus was told over 680 years before he was actually born. God told the prophet Isaiah that a saviour would be born to a virgin mother. That didn’t happen for hundreds of years after the promise was given.

Did God forget to do what he told Isaiah? No.

Did he change his mind? No.

Did he make a mistake? No

I often wonder weather Isaiah felt despondent about the fulfilment of that promise.

God told him something, he knew it was God talking to him. Yet he did not see it fulfilled in his lifetime.

Isaiah must have felt unhappy, sad, and questioned if he had actually heard from God. I imagined that he even doubted what God said, would happen.

His feelings didn’t stop or delay the promise because when God says a thing, he always bring it to pass regardless of the time. Because he’s working on his timeline not on ours.

Isaiah’s doubt did hinder God. Of course we were not told that he felt this way, this is my imagination. I believe as a human being, he may have felt some form of disappointment at not seeing the promise come to pass.

So let me encourage you as you continue to wait for what you’ve heard God said to you, your doubts, discouragement, tears and even your seemingly faithlessness will not stop God because His promises will always come to pass. He is not a man that he should lie.

Just hold on, for Just like the Christmas story came to pass and a miracle baby was born hundreds of years after he was promised, so will your promise child be born in your lifetime because God is faithful.

Isaiah was the prophet God used by to foretell of his coming son. Be encouraged, that which you have been promised will come to pass.

Your partner in hope

Debi

Christmas and waiting, Advent: Season of Hope,

Celebratory seasons, Advent: Walking in Our shoes, Ad, The Christmas Promise

Advent: Season of Hope

2nd day of Advent.

If you celebrate christmas you will no doubt have began the process of shopping, planning, and Preparing for this wonderful time of the year.

I love this season of faith, joy, festivities just before the new year, a time when we as a people, all come together in one to make merry.

To remember and celebrate the birth of Jesus. Certainly for some, this time is now synonymous with parties and travel and time with families as they call it “the holidays”.

But truly, Advent is observed in many Christian denominations as a time of expectant waiting and preparation for the arrival of Jesus.

In silence contemplation, not in the busyness of high streets shopping malls.

The early church were told of his coming and prepared for it. Although not the same way we now prepare for Christmas, they waited quietly not in chaos.

They waited in hope of a saviour promised to rescue them from the tyranny of their oppressor.

They waited and expected deliverance and a new dawn.

So you see, the story of Christmas is one of waiting.

For those waiting for a baby, this conjures many emotions.

The last post Celebratory seasons talked about how this seasons maybe dreaded by those waiting for a child, as they observe little darlings in their cute Christmas outfits and plays.

I have walked your shoes, waited for 8 years, multiple miscarriages, multiple failed IVFs, so I can relate to the feeling of dread at this very time. As hope waned, expectations strains, you feel all alone.

But my message to you today is to expect something different, expect to receive literally your desires.

Expect to receive the promise of peace, the comfort that comes from waiting and expecting, expect to be touched by Jesus, who is our Prince of Peace.

And continue to hold on as The angel said to Mary

“Blessed is She who believes, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which where told her from the Lord”.

I urged you to wait in Hope for the expected promises.

Look out for tomorrows post “Perspectives”.

Your Partner in Hope

Debi

RELATED POST

Celebratory seasons, What’s In A Name., Good News of Great Joy, Advent: Day 7, His perfect plan.

Celebratory seasons

Every year we celebrate all kinds of occasions, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, halloween, thanksgiving and christmas.

These season can be triggers for the couple in waiting, because without fail, we see parents adore their young kids with outfit and proudly shows them off.

I did the same when my girls were still little. without thought for how my waiting friends feels. No one intentionally parades their kids to cause distress, we all do it from a place of joy.

But I understand the pain and agony these images can cause. The despair cause by your failed attempt to get pregnant, the repeated miscarriage and the loss of a child.

When I was waiting I discovered that more than seeing friends or pregnant women, the seasons of celebration is the hardest one to face.

There is no escaping the gaiety in the air as you watch friends, dress up with their babies, teens, sons or daughters in teamed outfit.

O the tug at your heart strings as you imagine how you will dress your baby. You build a picture and hold on to the hope that it will one day be you dressing up your child.

These image seems to diminish as the years go by.

And every year as you watch others with their tiny little babies dress up for school plays for halloween themed party for thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, you hide in floods of tears, loathing another celebratory season.

I am reminded by this passage in Psalm 143:8. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love.

Yes seasons may come and go and our desires tarries, but God’s word never changes.

Anchor your hopes to it and hold on, let each celebratory season remind you of His unfailing love and as we approach Christmas when you will have to face Santa and school plays, remember his birth is the reason we are here but his death and resurrection is a promise that we can hold on to his promise, that he will grant us our hearts desires.

For if he did not withhold his Son from us, he will give us freely our hearts desires.

Peace.

Your partner in hope.

Debi

Other related post:

A little town

Trust and Joy in mist of pain

Easter and Infertility.

The Lonely Journey of Infertility

When I think of the journey of  Jesus to the cross I realised how lonely it must have been for him.

The process leading to the Cross was one of shame.

He felt abandoned by His father,

He felt  alone as His most trusted friends ran for their lives.

No one wanted to be associated with Him for fear of being killed.

In that moment, when he faced death and breath His last, he asked His father why he was abandoned.

The more I speak to those who have walked or currently on this journey of waiting, the more it becomes apparent how lonely it can get. The notion that there is a community out there seem remote.

Infertility is still a lonely journey.

No one to talk to, fear of being stigmatised, the feeling of shame causes us to bottle it up than open up to anyone.

I am particularly drawn to the two women who went to anoint his body, and wondered who will rolled the stone away. There was an obstacle at the entrance of the tomb, A Stone.

Who will roll away the stone?

The stone is big, two women alone can’t rolled it a way. It will take more than 2 women to roll it away. Who will roll away the stone?

You may be asking yourself right now:

Who will take away this pain of trying?

How will this end?

Will I ever have a child?

But we know how the story ends, although it seemed liked death had won, at the time he was nailed to the cross and put in the tomb.

When he got up on Easter Sunday, truly, God’s purpose for the suffering he endured was unfolded.

Be encouraged by the resurrection of our Lord and Saviour, you may have a stone like problem right now.

Just as the miracle of resurrection happened all those years ago, you will experience a miracle of birth, you too will rise up from the ashes of infertility to new life.

Trust in him, hope in Him, call on Him and you will have help.

A stone like problem? Give it to Jesus.

Happy Easter

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Related reading

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/05/infertility-a-lonely-journey/

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/03/comfort-joy-in-the-mist-of-infertility/

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/07/25/keeping-hope-alive/

Joy After 𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗻

I have previous written about the struggles of Gabriella Union  (46) in my post

speak out”.

In her interview to pure woman she told a heartbreaking story of going through 7-8 miscarriage. What pain she must have gone through. .

She found out that she has adenomyosis, which is endometriosis of the uterus. It occurs when the endometrial tissue, the same tissue that lines the uterus, grows into the the muscular wall of the uterus, causing intense period pain, prolonged and heavy menstrual bleeding and, in severe cases like Union’s, infertility.

Union did not give up, and than masked the problem which she felt they were doing by advising her to go on the pills, she felt the problem where being masked.

Fast forward to November 7 she and her husband Dwayne Wade  welcomes a beautiful Miracle baby girl via surrogacy.

Her Instagram post is one of pure joy. You can tell that although the road leading to this was littered with pain and tears it was also hope and faith filled.

She did not give up, when her body said no, she sought other option, surrogacy.

A cation on one of her Instagram post was “This little dynamo reminds me to never give up on my dreams “.

I wanted to share this story with you because it is one of faith, hope, and the miracle of having a baby against all odds.

You too maybe at a point where it seems all Hope is lost, you have tried and tried but still nothing seems to be happening.

Don’t give up, try and try again.

Explore the options available to you, do hide away in grief. Speak out. And seek help..

You deserve a baby you deserve to experience the joy of that first smile and many more afterwards. .

Joy and and hope is not the presence of a few.you too can and I hope will become a mum as you with hope, faith and vigor try one more time.

If you want to know more about surrogacy please see previous post here

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Christmas and waiting::

This is one of my favourite times of the year. Simply because I let my hair down, catch up with friends and family. However, this can also be a very challenging time for a woman In waiting. Churches, schools and offices put up shows to celebrate the birth of our saviour, for me, having to deal with the the questions that comes with not having a child of my own was just too much. 

Being a choir teacher meant that I was tasked with putting up a Christmas show for the kids whose ages are between 5-12. My time with these kids was precious, as I just loved seeing them flourish… but the remarks from their parents though well meaning, were mostly uncalled for. 

I took it as a real concern from them as I was a married woman without a child of my own yet here I was helping with the kids choir, to them, it is must be the most difficult of jobs, which it was. 

I understand their concerns and genuine care but for a woman trying I did not need to hear it every single week, especially at christmas.  So Christmas is the one time of the year where I dreaded being with my choir kids. I love my friends kids, nieces and nephews, and my choir kids, but I just wanted the questions and pitiful looks to stop. I wanted to enjoy the seasons without the talk of ‘don’t worry’ it will happen. 

To deal either this time and other festive periods I had to develop my own coping or surviving mechanism: 

Here are five ways I dealt deal with Christmas seasons:

  1. I smile: it’s as simple as that, though I hurt inside each Christmas I had to gather my choir kids and teach them their lines, I smile and have fun through it all… at gatherings I don’t bring up the topics but smile when brought up… smiling mask the pain I felt inside. I didn’t have to sit and listen to all the comments which were sometimes too personal, but I always smiled and excused myself if I have to. 
  2. I seek ways to have fun: Having tried to have a have a baby without success i became stronger as the wait continued,.. where once I would hide away and not take part any event like being a choir teacher, as I walked the road I made a decision do the things I love. I started fun with my friends.

    Thankfully I was blessed and still am with friends in similar situations and during Christmas ime and other festive periods we would go out to movies, theatres and just hang out. This took our focus off the situation. Being with the kids, was also a way of escape for me as always come away elated and blessed after every meeting. 

  3. Spend time with non judgmental love one: our families were incredible through it all: even though they were anxious for us to have a baby, not one word of worry or concern was spoken. We identified those families members who were our strongest supporters and whom we knew were praying with us and spent our holidays with them. They were our source of encouragement and though their support was unspoken it was felt every time we were with them. We were comfortable with them and their kids without the pressure of answering or keeping up appearances. 
  4. Do not avoid gatherings: No matter what, I decided i will enjoy Christmas, i always join the party, in church or at work, knowing life must go on… As a naturally fun person I refused to be beaten by infertility… so I joined celebrations like Carol and nativity services… 
  5. I reflected: To me Christmas is a time of reflection, so I reflected on the miracle of a child brought to us as a saviour, to mend our broken hearts, to bring us our own miracle and to heal our pain… so I reflected on this miracle while having faith for my own. 

So this Christmas don’t dread or fear, rather do hope and find a way to enjoy the season. Believe in the goodness of others that their concerns and remarks although sometimes not welcomed or sought for, is well meaning. Look to God who brought the miracle of Jesus via a virgin birth to bring you your own miracle child… and as you do Smile and be encouraged by the lyrics from Kirk Franklin’s song: Smile: 

This song’s for you

Today’s a new day, but there is no sunshine

Nothing but clouds, and it’s dark in my heart

And it feels like a cold night

Today’s a new day, where are my blue skies

Where is the love and the joy that you promised me

Tell me it’s alright
I almost gave up, but a power that I can’t explain

Fell from heaven like a shower
I smile, even though I hurt see I smile

I know God is working so I smile

Even though I’ve been here for a while

I smile, smile

It’s so hard to look up when you been down

Sure would hate to see you give up now

You look so much better when you smile, so smile
Today’s a new day, but there is no sunshine

Nothing but clouds and it’s dark in my heart

And it feels like a cold night

Today’s a new day, tell me where are my blue skies

Where is the love and the joy that you promised me

Tell me it’s alright
I almost gave up, but a power that I can’t explain

Fell from heaven like a shower now
I smile, even though I hurt see I smile

I know God is working so I smile

Even though I’ve been here for a while

I smile, smile

It’s so hard to look up when you been down

Sure would hate to see you give up now

You look so much better when you smile
Oh oh oh you look so much better when you

Oh oh oh you look so much better when you

Oh oh oh you look so much better when you

Oh oh oh you look so much better when you

Oh oh oh you look so much better when you