My best friends birthday was approaching, It was a significant milestone. I remembered planning ahead trying to figure out what we’re going to do for her.
I contacted her to find out what she had planned, I persisted in asking her until she said “I won’t be having any celebration”.
I sort of expected it because I’ve known for over 20 years and I have never celebrated a birthday with her or celebrated her birthday. I knew her reasons. However, I did not think that such a milestone would go uncelebrated.
She’s single and not currently in a relationship, she’s approaching the age where having children is considered risky, she’s premenopausal. She is in between jobs and between homes.
The last few years have been really difficult for her having lost her dad, which means both parents will not be around when and if she eventually gets married and have children.
Lack of success and achievement in certain areas of our lives, leaves us disappointed and robbed.
You too may be asking yourself as Christmas approaches, what’s there to celebrate?
There is a perceived natural progression of ones life, grow up, go to school, meet your partner, graduate, get married, have children and live happily ever after.
As I’ve come to know, life isn’t always a straight line from A to Z. Life will take you from N to B and, from S to W and back again from V to K.
Live doesn’t give you what you order, God does. Life doesn’t give you what you expect, faith in God does. Life doesn’t give you what you think you should have, trust and hope in God does.
And as a result of not getting to those milestones we decide what, when to celebrate and how to celebrate.
Celebration is not about things. We celebrate because we look inside ourselves and we know that regardless of where we are and how far we still have to go, we have a reason to be thankful because a lot of people did not get as far as we have come.
We are thankful because against all odds, are still standing. we reflect on the good we have in our lives.
I want to encourage you today, If you find yourself void of joy, void of any enthusiasm to celebrate let the births of Christ inspire you.
What is there to celebrate?
For starters, your health, Your amazing support group, The families in your life. For the strength to keep going, your nieces and nephews, for your job.
Count your blessings, and let your focus well on God’s goodness, not on the absence of should have been.
Our cup is not half empty but half full.
This Christmas rejoice in the fullness of joy that Christ brought when he came into our world. This is why we celebrate.
How often have you wondered what’s going on in your life, how did I get here? How am I going to get out of it? How will it all turn out?
It is often the case, going through infertility leaves us with countless questions.
There’s also someone who wondered about what was going on in her life.
Mary was a little girl from a little village she was betrothed to be married and she was suddenly pregnant.
I imagine many a night Mary ponded what was going on with her? She wondered about her future even though the Angel told her she was carrying the saviour, I imagine in a quietness of her heart,
She had to still process it all. She must have faced doubt even as she progressed in her pregnancy
I imagine she was plagued with so many questions. I don’t think the angels kept coming to reassure her, that the child she was carrying is actually the saviour. There were no account of angels coming month after month to encourage her. Mary trusted God and held him to that promise.
I imagine Mary processed what was going on as she looked at her changing body day and night, contended with knowing and questioning looks from those around her. I imagine even Jospeh’s family may have wondered and she may have wondered as well what on earth do they think happened..
Yes, infertility and what Mary experienced are worlds apart, but nevertheless there are some lessons to draw from Mary’s experience:
Have you pondered what’s going on? Worried about knowing looks, about your aging body? Worried about what the future holds and how you will deal with it?
As I have frequently said in this place we don’t know the future, we don’t know how our story will end, all we can do is hold onto God’s promises.
Has he told you anything? Ponder over them. Has he promised you something? Ponder over it and trust Him completely With your future.
Just like Mary let your soul Him for his wonderful promise which will be fulfilled in your life.
In The western world it is reported that lights the will be rationed as the cost of living crisis looms which has affected the cost of living.
What this may entails is that some people might have lights during the day and others during the night.
As one who previously lived in Africa And experience extended period of darkness, both day and night, living Without electricity or being in darkness isn’t pleasant.
I also know having lights, transforms the atmosphere, light give life, brings a spring to one’s steps. Light gives excitement, light makes vision better as everything becomes clearer. Back then in African, whenever light comes back on, our collective mood is transformed, we scream for joy.
The opposite is true when we experience darkness, our joy is decreased, our spirit is down.
This Christmas we have decided to limit the decorations outside our house to just two items . The nativity scene and Angels immediately lit up our front lawn, what a beautiful sight.
Jesus is the true light of Christmas.Jesus in your heart will bring hope and joy.
He said, I am the light of the world, whoever follows me, will never walk in darkness but have the light of life. Jesus in your heart and your situation will replace the dark and gloomy feeling of depression.
Everyone gravitates towards a tiny candle for the light it brings. So let the light of God’s son, shine through you to others. Be a model example for all to see regardless of your situation.
If you make Jesus the Lord of your life he said, those who walk with him we’ll never see darkness.
As a child of God, you will never have to stumble around in darkness, wondering what will be and we can boldly step into our world as light, because we carry the light of life in us Jesus.
We can be encouraged in our situation because we know we carry the light of God that illuminates our darkness and shines in our heart, dispelling every myth and sadness and threatens to drag us down to the lowest debts of darkness.
Your Partner in Hope
This Christmas Celebratory seasonscelebrate Him, as the true light of the world that brings hope.
I want to talk today about the fast and slow lane.
If like me you drive regularly, you will understand what I’m talking about. There is a fast lane, where drivers can drive at the maximum speed limit, it’s faster than inner lanes on the dual carriageway. Often, these lanes cannot be distinguished during traffic congestion giving the perception of a faster or slower lane.
How one sees traffic during such times depends on how much of a hurry you are to get to your destination.
Sometimes it also depends on what you think is happening in front of you or around you. So often I’m driving and seem to be stuck in my lane while the lanes to my right or left is moving, I veered into “fast” lanes, only for it to become stationery.
I look back to the lane I had just come off, which is now the faster lane, my goodness I should have stayed on that lane which is now or appears to be faster, sometimes I go back and repeat the process a few times, before I give up.
This happens to me often and I am hoping to improve on my lane hopping skills.
Every time, I tell myself, today is the day I’m not going to switch I’m not going to look at what’s happening to my right, or my left I’m just gonna stay in my lane but soon find myself switching.
A bit like the grass being greener on the other side.
It seems like they have everything going for them, no ruffled feathers, are married with 2.4 kids, good jobs, good house, well manicured lawn, and we wish.
“Oh my goodness I wish I could have that”
Have you been trying to be pregnant since forever, multiple IVFs, and failed cycle and Still no child. While your friends, neighbour or sister in law keeps popping them? It’s natural to sometimes wish you were in that other person’s shoes.
We really don’t know what’s going on in that lane, in other peoples live, until we switch lanes, an appearance of speed or bliss isn’t always the case.
My encouragement to us, is to stick it out, in your lane, in your world, while hoping for the best outcome.
Expect, prepare, be at peace, regardless of what is going on in other peoples lives, around you.
Your lane maybe slower but it will move and in time take you to your destination.
There maybe detours, road blocks, temporary traffic lights causing serious traffic jam, in the form of IVFs, endometriosis, miscarriage, delays.
Your journey is not compared with anybody else’s so stick it out.
Take the detours, complete the IVfs, do the treatment again if possible, hope, Pray, expect and repeat.
As I read about the baby news of Isreal Houghton and his wife Adrienne, my heart leaped for joy, this couple have been married for about 5 years and behind the scenes they have hoped, prayed, while trying for a baby.
Infertility is no respecter of persons, rich, poor, high class, low class, infertility can and have broken couples, marriages and relationships.
So I was excited for this news that they have conceived via a surrogate mother, and even though they have continued to be public figures, behind the scenes they have pleaded with God, expected, and held on..
So be encouraged, right now, you maybe at your wits end, wondering when Lord, why Lord, How Lord. The behind the scenes experiences where
we cry, we pray, we slop, we start again is not public view, but heavens knows and sees.This poem puts simply
behind the scenes we
fall apart and let the broken pieces of our emotions dance before us.
behind the sciences we sometimes smile and grasp to the last shred of hope, perhaps there will come a day!!!
And hope is all we bond on to.
Behind the scenes we keep on keeping on,
we gather strength and give it one more try,
When strength fails and the future seems bleak,
behind the scenes sometimes the sun comes and breaks through the dark cloud.
my prayer for all those still waiting is to stay the course and trust His perfect plan.
Here we are, the last day of 2021. We were given 375 days, but not everyone made it to the end.
My prayer at the start of 2021 was for protection, to remain in health and strength. Looking back I can see that my prayers were answered. Of course I asked for other blessings, but I have come to know that lasting blessings are worth more than material wealth or comfort.
As you look back over the year, what blessings stand out to you?
What battles did you overcome? Where there small mile stones you celebrated?
We sometimes over look some blessings because they don’t seem to come front and centre. compared to the big things we asked for.
I get it. For years having a child of my own was front and centre for me as well, it was my number one prayer at the beginning and end of each year.
At some point, I yielded my expectations, dreams and hope to God. I prayed for strength and he gave me strength to continue to expect, I prayed for wisdom and he directed my steps to the right places, he placed good friends in my path a support system through trying times.
These blessings were not front and centre non did they featured in my prayer list at the beginning of the year, but taking stock at the time, they were answers to prayers.
So as you look back, to 2021. Give thanks for those who helped you on this journey, the spouse/partner who stayed and support you. The Holy Spirits leading and the strength to continue and hope on into 2022.
Hope is defined by Webster: “to desire with expectation of fulfil.” Continue to hope in 2022, but give hope wings, infuse your hope with faith in the God who makes all things possible.
Because hope expects, faith believes and receives.