A Woman In Waiting

shread of hopeHelp Lord, I don’t know what to do. I am in a place where I desire to leave, but there appears to be no way out. I know you’ve promised a way of escape in every trial and tribulation. But the longer I go through the trial of infertility the longer it seems that there is no way out.

I still love and will always love you, but I feel like I am drained of all energy to pray and ask. I feel that asking you for the same thing over and over again, diminish what you are.

I feel fear, not fear of not having a child of my own but fear that we’ll travel this road for a long time before you’ll come through for us. Is that the case Lord? Is it wrong to want you to do it now for us, by this time next year to be holding our own child? Is it wrong to give you a time frame?

The reason I feel this way is because I am looking at time, thinking I am getting older, but I remember you are ageless and operates outside time and will bring to pass our hearts need for a child regardless of age. But Lord, I don’t want to be 40 before having a child! Can I ask that, can I ask that you do it for us now! Am I allowed to ask that? Or is that lack of faith? I don’t know Lord. You know.

I feel left behind by friends and family who get pregnant before they start trying.
I feel like a pawn in your hand which you can do as you wish, I also know that you are my father a God of love who will not forsake or leave me. I know THAT Lord.
But I also feel alone, I focus on you and your power, but I also can’t help wondering why it’s taking you this long to do it.

Another reason is what I see happening around, even young mums are tired bringing up their new born, the sleepless nights, the cries, the nappy changes etc. How much more me, but then again I remember you are our strength. You said they that wait upon shall renew their strength. I know too that you will renew our strength for parenthood. I just want to see you high and lifted up in this situation.

I felt this way yesterday and told my father how I feel.
Today he encouraged me with my “Our Daily Bread” Gal 4:4.
“When the fullness of time had come, God send his Son”.
It reminded me that God’s time is perfect, though I want to have it now, though I don’t want to be 40 and my husband 58 to have kids, one thing he assured me is that he is never a day late or early, he is always just on time.

In his perfect timing he gave us his Son, when the world desperately needed a saviour he came through for us. He is still the same God, I look up to him and my countenance was enlightened.

So whenever you feel like time is passing by, that the hand of the clock is ticking and counting down, and it seems like your egg store is rapidly diminishing, remember the one who creates time can stop time for your sake and bring your heart felt desires to pass in perfect time!

 

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Welcome to my blog.

A faithful wait is about our walk through the path seldom taken, Infertility.

I have been there, a place where my faith was shaken, tried and tested. I walked this road and while on this journey, I learnt a few life truths which I journal.

The purpose of this blog is to  encourage couples who are currently facing infertility. Using my own story, I aim to provide useful tips on what to do and how to cope though this period.

I am a Christian and during this period of waiting, I found my sole comfort from the word of God and by taking little Steps of faith. My walk was not smooth my faith wavered, but God remained faithful.

He walked with me faithfully to bring my hearts desires to pass, my prayer is that you too will find peace, hope and joy as you faithfully wait on him.

Your partner in hope

 

Debbie