Presents and Kids

The months and weeks leading up to Christmas can be a difficult time for the trying couple or family.

I use to keep away from the city centres because I did not want to be greeted with all the beautifully wrapped kids presents.

I couldn’t bear to look at them. It was too painful. I had no child, but there they were, months and weeks before Christmas inviting shoppers to get something for their kids.

It is difficult not to feel a pang of pain knowing that this year you won’t be getting a present for your child.

It is particularly difficult if you have lost a child you once use to buy presents for.

As you go through this season of Christmas I want to remind you that this is a season of hope, love and peace.

Jesus was born to replace our pain with joy. Joy may not be what you are experiencing right now but He also brings hope.

During this time I was encouraged by what the bible says:

In psalms 146:5, God is my hope. He is my help enabling me face each day. He is faithful forever V6, and lifts those who are down. V8.

I certainly did not feel hopeful during those times but as I begin to acknowledge that he is my helper I began to experience relief from despair, my mood lightens and I am able to find strength to partake in the celebration of His birth

My encouragement to you today is to find your hope in God.

As the season unfolds, sometimes you may be filled with moments of joy and may experience intense pain.

remember He promises to be our light in darkness and our hope for the future.

Now I have two girls and there is no end to the presents..

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Related Reading:

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/05/infertility-a-lonely-journey/

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/03/comfort-joy-in-the-mist-of-infertility/

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/01/the-christmas-promised/

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Joy After 𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗻

I have previous written about the struggles of Gabriella Union  (46) in my post

speak out”.

In her interview to pure woman she told a heartbreaking story of going through 7-8 miscarriage. What pain she must have gone through. .

She found out that she has adenomyosis, which is endometriosis of the uterus. It occurs when the endometrial tissue, the same tissue that lines the uterus, grows into the the muscular wall of the uterus, causing intense period pain, prolonged and heavy menstrual bleeding and, in severe cases like Union’s, infertility.

Union did not give up, and than masked the problem which she felt they were doing by advising her to go on the pills, she felt the problem where being masked.

Fast forward to November 7 she and her husband Dwayne Wade  welcomes a beautiful Miracle baby girl via surrogacy.

Her Instagram post is one of pure joy. You can tell that although the road leading to this was littered with pain and tears it was also hope and faith filled.

She did not give up, when her body said no, she sought other option, surrogacy.

A cation on one of her Instagram post was “This little dynamo reminds me to never give up on my dreams “.

I wanted to share this story with you because it is one of faith, hope, and the miracle of having a baby against all odds.

You too maybe at a point where it seems all Hope is lost, you have tried and tried but still nothing seems to be happening.

Don’t give up, try and try again.

Explore the options available to you, do hide away in grief. Speak out. And seek help..

You deserve a baby you deserve to experience the joy of that first smile and many more afterwards. .

Joy and and hope is not the presence of a few.you too can and I hope will become a mum as you with hope, faith and vigor try one more time.

If you want to know more about surrogacy please see previous post here

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

A Painful Decision

I love doing this, bringing awareness and hope to those on this journey.

This post will feature the story of a dear friend and their painful infertility journey.

Infertility is a destroyer of relationships, love and happiness.

A once happy vibrant couple can become bitter resentful and sometimes split as a result of the intensity brought on by infertility. The inability to conceive or birth a child can take away one’s hopes and dreams.

Izzy was once a vibrant, happy go lucky woman, she loves life, her job and her faith. She was 26 when she met David a simple happy guy, they were perfect for each other. After dating for one year they decided to tie the knot.

Before their wedding they made a private vow to never ever allow anything to change who they are. They love their carefree happy life and vowed to do everything to make sure it stayed that way.

They even wrote a poem to emphasis the point.

Our love will grow and may slow,

We may sail down paths unknown and encounter scenes unseen

But we will keep in view the picture of love that keeps us bound and sane.

And should we tread the path of pain

May we anchor to you our source of strength and eternal hope.

this was printed and placed in their living room. Wedding was celebrate in the simplest way possible and a year later they decided to try for baby. Little did they know fate had other plans waiting for them.

This decision changed the course of their lives and relationships. After a year of trying without success they sought help. By now Izzy was 28 and David 30.

Low sperm count how is that possible? David mused, why me, how how can it be. Several options for conception were presented to them, donor sperm, IVF, ISCI, AI.

David was not an excessive drinker, never smoked, never used drugs, he lived a healthy life. How is that possible? turns out he may have been born that way.

They decided to explore other options. They embraced all treatments option wholeheartedly, still nothing. Izzy was very supportive and finally  David agreed they should go for IVF Using a donor sperm.

THE PROCESS

The process was successful and implantation took place, then pregnancy.. they remained hopeful but were cautious, this was their first conception. Please Lord they prayed, may nothing go wrong.

But 2 month in, disaster struck, suddenly all symptoms stopped and she immediately knew something was wrong.

A scan confirmed their worst fear, no heartbeat was detected. They had suffered a miscarriage.

This loss was very difficult  particularly given their situation, needless to say they were both heart broken. David more so as he felt helpless and guilty, how is he supposed to help his wife, he is the cause yet he can’t do anything about it.

It was an intense period of grief for them. How can they come so close only to be still so far.

It was too painful and this led them to take the painful decision not to go down the IVF rout again.

Their Decision?

If it happens so be it. But they will not put themselves, their happiness, well being and relationship on the line.

This was by no means an easy decision for the couple mainly because David  has a low spent count.

Sadly I have met quite a few couples who have decided not to pursue their dream of being parents via IVF as a result of the intense pain and heartbreak suffered from miscarriage or failure.

We came close to making that choice as each miscarriage and failed IVF becomes more lingual than the last.

I found the pain of another failure more intense than the last.

THE FUTURE

Well 3 years down the line Izzy and David  have somehow rebuilt their lives again and are well on their way to the coupe they were before IVF.

How did they do it? Find our in the next article. Ways to come back from a failed treatment.

Related post

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/09/22/exploring-other-options/

Pregnancy Over 35!

Today we learnt, our very own duchess Megan is pregnant at age 37. The little darling is expected in spring of 2019.

How amazing. She was beaming from ear to ear as she touched down in Australia earlier today.

Why this post you may wonder?

Well, it is a good news story and l love sharing good news, she is 37! And often we are told how difficult it is to conceive over that age.

We are constantly told and with good reason that a woman’s fertility falls off significantly once she reaches her 35th birthday, according to Katherine O’Brien, head of policy research at the British Pregnancy Advisory Service (bpas), women should not  panic about conception after the age of 35.

According to her, there are evidence which suggests that having sex twice a week, 82 per cent of women aged 35-39 will conceive within one year of trying.

While women in their late thirties might have to try harder to conceive, they stand a high chance of falling pregnant relatively swiftly (HUFFPOST).

Of course the biological clock is real but the age with the most decline is in one’s 40s.

That is not to say women below the age bracket cannot be faced with problems.

Women of any age can be faced with infertility.

We started trying when I was 30, and I only fell pregnant after a few IVF attempts at age of 38.

The bottom line here is that a woman who leads a relatively healthy life like Magen does have a higher chance of falling pregnant.

Luck or Cause:

I use to have to deal with comments which suggests we were just unfortunate. “you are so young and can’t get pregnant”? I also thought it was my fate to suffer this disease, friends who have also suffered this disease often joked that they were unlucky.

Knowing what I know now I don’t think my particular situation was down to luck, I had an underlying disease which I believe affected my ability to fall pregnant easily.

For others they may have lived  a relatively healthy life and still for some reason unable to fall pregnant. So it could be luck for some and medical for others? I don’t know.
But generally adopting a healthy lifestyle is of great benefit to a achieving one’s  quest for parenthood.

I know Megan is lives a healthy lifestyle and maybe just maybe luck was also on her side. Regardless it’s nice not to suffer the dreaded disease.

Causes of infertility

women in their mid to late thirties conceive naturally if they are ovulating regularly and have no known cause of sub-fertility and have maintained a healthy lifestyle when there is no male factor problem. Men’s age also has an impact on their fertility.”

According to the NHS websites the known causes of infertility are

Irregular ovulation

Endometriosis

Low spent count,

Low egg quality

Age

Pelvic inflammatory disease

Polycystic ovary

Cervical mucus problem.

It advised women over 35 to consult their GP if they have not conceived after trying regularly for 12 months.


Everyone’s story is different, whether you have been trying for a few months or a few years, keep your hopes alive with the news of Megan’s pregnancy. Who knows Mother Nature may smile on you soon.

Whatever the length of time please seek medical help if you have been trying for 12 months without success.

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Related post

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/02/22/endometriosis-a-cause-of-infertility/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/03/19/infertility-a-male-and-female-issue/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/09/15/good-news-statistics/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/04/08/a-womans-dilemma-is-40-too-old/

Breakthrough Miracle

40 years ago Louis Brown was born. She is the first test tube baby. Today countless number of families have had their wishes come through via the same process.

I am certain that in those early days there were lots of cynics who thought this was as good as it was ever going to get that science cannot develop any further than that.

Soon after Ms Brown’s birth, Australia’s first IVF baby, Candice Reed, was born on June 23, 1980

Both babies were born using a woman’s natural ovulation cycle.

Professor Trounson and his colleagues started trialling fertility drugs to try to control the cycle.

“It worked. Suddenly everything became possible,” he said.

According to mews, Professor Wood’s team also pioneered techniques to inject sperm into eggs to overcome male infertility; egg donation resulting in the world’s first donor egg pregnancy; and freezing embryos, which resulted in the world’s first frozen embryo pregnancy.

These break through in reproductive technology was made possible by vision and trial.

Without which thousands would not have achieved their dreams.

Don’t dare give up, don’t despair,

Keep hope alive

Try and try again in your quest towards having a baby.

Who knows soon you too may celebrate your breakthrough miracle.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

FaithfulWait: A Reflective Journal for Those in Waiting.

Waiting can sometimes be long or short, regardless of the length of time, and depending on what we are waiting for it can be heartbreaking and disheartening. While waiting to have a baby I journaled a lot.

I had no specific or dedicated journal to write in I just wrote on anything I can grab my hands on.

I wanted to have a journal Faithful wait where I can collate all my thoughts. I realised while waiting that there was a need for something to write down our thoughts. Hence this journal.

This journal is design to encourage those who are currently waiting for one thing or another. Waiting is difficult and can be isolating, painful and leads to discouragement.

Using quotes and scriptures, this journal relays a message of comfort, hope and active focus, whilst in the corridors of waiting.

It also has an area where you can capture your thoughts and write down daily positive affirmations for yourself.

I hope that the clear, simple, short weekly read will encourage those waiting for any issue. Order now Faithful wait

Happy Readin😘

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Exploring Other Options: ICSI

I have previously written on exploring other options when it comes to seeking fertility treatment. This POST will examine one of those options the ICSI.

According to the HFEA.

the cause of infertility in around half of couples having problems conceiving is sperm-related. ICSI offers hope to these couples most common and successful treatment for male infertility.

ICSE means – (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection )ICSI is a specialised form of In Vitro Fertilisation (IVF) it is used for the treatment of severe cases of male-factor infertility.

It is intended for couples with the following problems.

very low sperm count

abnormally shaped sperm (poor morphology) or where the sperm move abnormally (poor motility)

previous IVF TREATMENT.

A situation Where the sperm needs to be collected surgically from the testicles or epididymis (a narrow tube inside the scrotum where sperm are stored and matured); possibly because of vasectomy,

The process involves the injection of a single sperm directly into a mature egg.

Just like IVF the process involves stimulating the ovaries to produce a mature egg. Once the eggs are matured they are retrieved and fertilised with the sperm.

When the egg is fertilised it is left in the lab for a few days.

The embryo is transfer

embryo transfer can be two in some cases the number of embryo transferred depends on the woman’s age, once transferred it is recommended that the woman reduce their movement for the next 24 hours. the remaining good-quality embryos will be frozen and stored to be used in future cycle if necessary.

After the transfer, then begin the wait, before the all-important pregnancy test.

Availability:

according to the NHS website couples undergoing IVF treatment can use ICSI as a method of insemination if required.

The University Hospitals Coventry and Warwickshire NHS Trust was one of the first in the country to be licensed to offer the treatment.

How is ICSI different from IVF?

The steps are similar at the early stages however with IVF the eggs are placed together with the sperm fertilization occurs when the sperm swims to the egg.

In ICSI there is a bit more interference by the embryologist. Here the sperm is selected and injected directly into the egg.This maximises the chance of fertilisation taking place as it bypasses any potential problems the sperm will have in actually getting to the egg.

the success rate?

generally the success rate for both IVF and ICSI are similar. According to the HFEA fertilisation happens in around 90% of cases.

Fertilisation doesn’t necessarily means a successful pregnancy.

One of the deterring factor for success is a woman’s age and any previous difficulty.in conceiving. After transfer there is a 2 weeks wait at before pregnancy can be confirmed by a blood test.

I hope you found this useful. For more in depth information please visit the Following website

NHS UK

HFEA

And your family Doctor

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

It Only Takes One Egg

I had to share this story with you, because I can identify with it. After several failed IUI they decided to try IVF and now have a baby.

Parents celebrate getting through a three year infertility struggle with a photo of their baby boy surrounded by IVF needles

The process though was not without uncertainty.

The most difficult part of trying for a baby for me was not knowing when. The uncertainties and the endless questions of when and how were often unbearable.

I remembered the 3rd IVF treatment that gave me my little girl. We were excited to learn that 12 eggs were retrieved, but on a follow up call the next day only 5 were viable and fertilised. Out of those, only one developed enough to be transferred back.

I recall our disappointments at this news, we had little hope of any outcome from this egg.

The thought that this egg might not develop was enough to cause me to fret..

My previous treatments were similar to this but each time the eggs fragment before

Fertilisation. So I was not particularly hopeful or expecting anything to come out of this. My only consolation was that this time around at least they got a decent egg that fertilised and implanted

My husband reminded me that we only needed one egg and that kept me going.

I was so stressed during the two weeks Wait I was convinced the procedure had failed.

To say I was elated was an understatement I was shocked and not excited, nervous at was was to come..

it really does take one. It is only normal human emotion for our past experiences to influence our way of thinking..

Being hopeful requires conscious effort on my part. So today if you are in that place where your Hope reservoir is pretty low and almost ran out.. just remember it only takes one egg and as long as you are here and trying who knows you too may welcome your own little miracle..

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Our Hope For The New Year.

Now the Year is over,

The next has drawn near.

With nothing written in it, yet.

One where we hope our dreams and desires will be fulfilled.

Our eyes are looking, waiting and hoping that this year we will experience greater joy, peace, and unity.

O dear fellow earthly traveller, as you journey into another year, who or what will you lean on?

Earthly strength? Did that help you this year?

Earthly wealth? How did you fare? Perhaps wealth brought you health.

Earthly friends? Did they desert you or where they a present help in your time of need?

Earthly possessions? Did they bring you great joy or sadness?

What did you find comfort in this year?

Was the joy you found lasting or do think something else was needed?

As you step into the Next Year, I implore you to

let God be your strength, for His strength never fails.

Let Him be your guide for He leads in the right path.

Let Him be your friend for His is faithful and will never fail.

Let Him be your riches for His storehouses never runs out.

Let Him be your health for He comes with healing in his wings.

Let Him be your help for He is a present help in trouble.

Let Him be your light for He is the light of the World and in Him there is no darkness.

Let Him be all that you need and will ever want, in Him dwells are the fulfillment of everything.

Make a Him your top priority and you will enjoy a peaceful and successful Year.

Happy New Year.

your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Comfort & Joy: in the mist of infertility.

O the pains brought on by this infertility is excruciating. It reaches deep into the soul and affects every facet of our lives. It is visible for all to see and It stands out like a sore thumb.

It looks insurmountable like a great big mountain.

Our womb like a rugged road incapable of holding a child.

Our sperm seems so dead that all hope seems lost.

The outlook so bleak we become blur by endless tears from our pain.

The picture of infertility does not inspire joy.

So too was the picture of a child in a manger. Picture the manger with farm animals and a baby inside, this was not the beautiful nativity scene we see today.

I imagine it was smelly, with hen droppings, bleats of goats, very small and uncomfortable indeed. But inside that manger was a child promised to bring comfort and joy to the world.

Yes, the picture of a baby inside a manger was not inspiring but the baby was.

He came to make every crooked path straight,

Every mountain  brought low.

Every rugged places plain.

Every valley raised.

Every rough ground level.

What does this means for us today? To me it means he made the impossible possible

I can find the different causes of infertility in all of what Jesus came to change. Crooked paths, rugged places, rough patches and low valleys, what infertility represents.

Picture your situation and picture the child who came thousands of years ago, to bring hope, comfort and Joy to all.

Christmas isn’t just a feel good story, Christmas happened. Christmas is Christ in every difficult situation making them better. As you celebrate his birth this Christmas, whatever your diagnoses, picture him bringing comfort and Joy into it

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi.

A Little Town, A Great Outcome: The Christmas PromiseHope Against HopeDon’t tire, keep trying.