Purpose in Pain

Is there a reason for this pain, why can’t it just end, why the disappointment, discomfort and the long wait.

These are questions we have all asked ourselves in times of great suffering.

Our pain leaves us with more questions than answers. How do you carry on living in the mist of great pain? Disappointment drains us of strength.

Christ suffered for us so that we can have great strength and hope in our pain.

Christ was born to carry not just our sins but our pain, wounded, bruised and hung on the cross he suffered great pain, Just for us.

He stood in our place, where we would have been condemned, he was condemned.

Where we would have been shamed, He was shamed.

Where fear lingers he brought release, And in this season of Christmas we have peace in our hearts because we know that there will be purpose in our pain.

This knowledge gives us strength as we wait for his perfect plan, we live in hope because hope in him doesn’t bring shame.

So are you tired of waiting, look to the the manger then the cross, then cling to his grace which he gave when he rose again.

Your Partners in Hope

D’Ebi

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When God Brings Peace.

What does peace look like? I  asked the kids at  Sunday school.

Their answers were surprising and came in quick succession.  

One replied: when I don’t have any fears. another, when I am happy, sleeping and playing, holiday brings peace. when I lie down and there is no sound.

But one child replied: When God calms the storm.

That stopped me in my track. This Child remembered the story of Jesus and the storm. When His disciples were worried about drowning and Jesus spoke bringing calm to the waves and seas.

The various replies can be woven into this one statement: When God calms the storm.

Certainly when Jesus said peace be still there was calm, the waves ceased in obedience to Him.

I wonder, what do you need to be cam in your life today? Your heart might be torn from endless wait in various places at various time.

14 day wait or two weeks wait, for the change in the pregnancy test stick. From the results of a recent surgery.

None of these wait brings peace, we are often anxious for what’s to comes or what might not be.

In this season of Advent, ask God to bring His peace into your heart whatever the situation and he will.

He will calm your storms, because that what he does. He bring peace to every situation. All you need to do is ask Him.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

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Reason To Celebrate

My best friends birthday was approaching, It was a significant milestone. I remembered planning ahead trying to figure out what we’re going to do for her.

I contacted her to find out what she had planned, I persisted in asking her until she said “I won’t be having any celebration”.

I sort of expected it because I’ve known for over 20 years and I have never celebrated a birthday with her or celebrated her birthday. I knew her reasons. However, I did not think that such a milestone would go uncelebrated.

She’s single and not currently in a relationship, she’s approaching the age where having children is considered risky, she’s premenopausal. She is in between jobs and between homes.

The last few years have been really difficult for her having lost her dad, which means both parents will not be around when and if she eventually gets married and have children.

Lack of success and achievement in certain areas of our lives, leaves us disappointed and robbed.

You too may be asking yourself as Christmas approaches, what’s there to celebrate?

Our lives are measured by our achievements, the absence of which deemed us failures.

There is a perceived natural progression of ones life, grow up, go to school, meet your partner, graduate, get married, have children and live happily ever after.

As I’ve come to know, life isn’t always a straight line from A to Z. Life will take you from N to B and, from S to W and back again from V to K.

Live doesn’t give you what you order, God does. Life doesn’t give you what you expect, faith in God does. Life doesn’t give you what you think you should have, trust and hope in God does.

And as a result of not getting to those milestones we decide what, when to celebrate and how to celebrate.

Celebration is not about things. We celebrate because we look inside ourselves and we know that regardless of where we are and how far we still have to go, we have a reason to be thankful because a lot of people did not get as far as we have come.

We are thankful because against all odds, are still standing. we reflect on the good we have in our lives.

 I want to encourage you today,  If you find yourself void of joy, void of any enthusiasm to celebrate let the births of Christ inspire you.

What is there to celebrate?

For starters, your health, Your amazing support group, The families in your life. For the strength to keep going, your nieces and nephews, for your job.

Count your blessings, and let your focus well on God’s goodness, not on the absence of should have been.

Our cup is not half empty but half full.

This Christmas rejoice in the fullness of joy that Christ brought when he came into our world. This is why we celebrate.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

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True Light

In The western world it is reported that lights the will be rationed as the cost of living crisis looms which has affected the cost of living.

What this may entails is that some people might have lights during the day and others during the night.

As one who previously lived in Africa And experience extended period of darkness, both day and night, living Without electricity or being in darkness isn’t pleasant.

I also know having lights, transforms the atmosphere, light give life, brings a  spring to one’s steps. Light gives excitement,  light makes vision  better as everything becomes clearer. Back then in African, whenever light comes back on, our collective mood is transformed, we scream for joy.

The opposite is true when we experience darkness, our joy is decreased, our spirit is down.

This Christmas we have decided to limit the decorations outside our house to just two items . The nativity scene and Angels immediately lit up our front lawn, what a beautiful sight.

 Jesus is the true light of Christmas.Jesus in your heart will bring hope and joy.

He said, I am the light of the world, whoever follows me, will never walk in darkness but have the light of life. Jesus in your heart and your situation will replace the dark and gloomy feeling of depression.

Everyone gravitates towards a tiny candle for the light it brings. So let the light of God’s son, shine through you to others. Be a model example for all to see regardless of your situation.

If you make Jesus the Lord of your life he said, those who walk with him we’ll never see darkness.

As a child of God, you will  never have to stumble around in darkness, wondering what will be and we can boldly step into our world as light, because we carry the light of life in us Jesus.

We can be encouraged in our situation because we know we carry the light of God that illuminates our darkness and shines in our heart, dispelling every myth and sadness and threatens to drag us down to the lowest debts of darkness.

Your Partner in Hope

This Christmas Celebratory seasonscelebrate Him, as the true light of the world that brings hope.

D’Ebi

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A Costly Gift

It’s the season of giving and receiving gifts. I have been trying to find the most thoughtful presents for my loved ones and I am sure you are as well.

What will it cost you to do something for someone else? Time, money, your possessions or skills. Going through trying times leaves us focus on ourselves, often too drained to consider giving any of these to others.

I realized this during the most difficult periods of my life, I couldn’t give of myself to anything, I was focused on getting through the stage of infertility, but I knew there were so many in need of my skills and thankfully I decide to keep a journal of my experiences which started faithful wait

Although God freely gives us gifts of love, grace, mercies, forgiveness, protection, provision and love. He makes no demands made of us, because it already cost Him, His Son. It was and remains the most costly gift of all time. The person we now celebrate at Christmas was give. as a gift for many.

His life bought our freedom from sin, sickness, loss, disappointment and gave us a living hope. 

His paid once so that we can enjoy his gifts eternally.

So this Christmas consider someone in worse situation than yourself and give them a gift you can afford, or go a step further, give a gift that will cost you something.

Remember Christ promised to surround you with with favor like a shield in the mist of your situation.

He is with you through every circumstance shielding you, so that you can also respond by helping others.

As you receive Gods blessings during this time, and all through the years, find time to share your gift with others.. because what you receive freely cost him everything. 

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Hopping Lanes

I want to talk today about the fast and slow lane.

If like me you drive regularly, you will understand what I’m talking about. There is a fast lane, where drivers can drive at the maximum speed limit, it’s faster than inner lanes on the dual carriageway. Often, these lanes cannot be distinguished during traffic congestion giving the perception of a faster or slower lane.

How one sees traffic during such times depends on how much of a hurry you are to get to your destination.

Sometimes it also depends on what you think is happening in front of you or around you. So often I’m driving and seem to be stuck in my lane while the lanes to my right or left is moving, I veered into “fast” lanes, only for it to become stationery.

I look back to the lane I had just come off, which is now the faster lane, my goodness I should have stayed on that lane which is now or appears to be faster, sometimes I go back and repeat the process a few times, before I give up.

This happens to me often and I am hoping to improve on my lane hopping skills.

Every time, I tell myself, today is the day I’m not going to switch I’m not going to look at what’s happening to my right, or my left I’m just gonna stay in my lane but soon find myself switching.

A bit like the grass being greener on the other side.

We sometimes look at other people’s journey and we think they have it all good we look at the people in our lives for whom life seems to be going smoothly.

It seems like they have everything going for them, no ruffled feathers, are married with 2.4 kids, good jobs, good house, well manicured lawn, and we wish.

Oh my goodness I wish I could have that”

Have you been trying to be pregnant since forever, multiple IVFs, and failed cycle and Still no child. While your friends, neighbour or sister in law keeps popping them? It’s natural to sometimes wish you were in that other person’s shoes.

We really don’t know what’s going on in that lane, in other peoples live, until we switch lanes, an appearance of speed or bliss isn’t always the case.

My encouragement to us, is to stick it out, in your lane, in your world, while hoping for the best outcome.

Expect, prepare, be at peace, regardless of what is going on in other peoples lives, around you.

Your lane maybe slower but it will move and in time take you to your destination.

There maybe detours, road blocks, temporary traffic lights causing serious traffic jam, in the form of IVFs, endometriosis, miscarriage, delays.

“Key word they are temporary”.

Your journey is not compared with anybody else’s so stick it out.

Take the detours, complete the IVfs, do the treatment again if possible, hope, Pray, expect and repeat.

Your Partner in Hope

Debbie

Related Post Don’t tire, keep trying. Whatever you do, Don’t Stop Trying. Purpose in Pain , FaithfulWait: A Reflective Journal for Those in Waiting.

Benefit of Egg freezing

Frozen eggs beats fertility treatment for women. according to post in Futility today.

The number of US women having children at older ages has been increasing for three decades, with evidence that the trend will continue. Birth rates have declined for women in their 20s and jumped for women in their late 30s and early 40s, according to the US Census Bureau. The average age at first birth has risen from 19 years old in 1984 to 30 years old in 2021 and is higher in many metropolitan areas.

See stores for more

GOT A BIG STONE PROBLEM?

Back when my girls were still little, they often like picking up all sorts of strange things when we go out walking.

Like weeds which they call flowers, stones, which they call gold, papers, unusual items etc.

During one of those walks, we happened to come across a construction site, by the side of the road was a stone, they took turns trying to lift it, but couldn’t.‘mummy you try’, they chorused. I picked it up easily to their delight. mummy’s got powers they screamed.

It was a little stone to me but a big one to them.

This got me thinking, the problems we often face (infertility) seems immovable and enormous like stones we can’t shift or lift.

Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of Jesus and Salome had a big stone problem. On the 3rd day of Jesus’s death, they brought spices to anoint his body, on their way to the tomb they wondered amongst themselves: ‘Who shall roll away the stone away, it was very great.

As they made their way to the tomb, I imagined, it suddenly dawned on them, that none of them can roll the stone away. They have to anoint his body, now a stone STOOD in their way. Perhaps they considered who amongst Jesus’s friends to call for help.

Peters? ‘No, he’s no good, have you seen the state of him since the master was killed?’ Guilt has eaten him up.

James?

John?

Andrew? And one by one they eliminated the disciples. I am sure they considered going back, they must have, they had no tools, no help, and a big stone.

Should we go back? Let’s just continue, “we have come too far to turn back now”.

The question remains “Who will roll away the stone”?

Maybe it was Mary the mother of Jesus who insisted on carrying on, maybe something Jesus told her kept her going? Maybe she just wanted to be near her dear son.

Imagine their reaction when they got to the tomb to find that their problem had gone, “the stone has been rolled away”. Surprised, shocked, worry, fear, all kinds of emotions must have coursed through them.

Who will roll away the stone?

Became, who rolled the stone away?

What happened to him? Has someone taken him?

Now imagine their joy when they learn he’s alive!!!, the stone was rolled away by his mighty power, and he’s alive. Wow, not only was the stone rolled away, their greatest problem was solved, “Jesus is alive”.

Often we get to the end of ourselves only to discover that He has taken care of it all, our deepest fear of being without a child, a husband, living with that illness, a job.

No matter how big your stone, trust in the master who knows your end from the beginning.

What seems like a might problem to you is nothing to him, he will not only roll your stone away, he will bring you out ALIVE, unscathed, safe and secured.

Keep going, pin your hopes on him, He’s got all power, He will roll away every stone like problem.

Dark clouds will roll away and your night will turn to day. Tears to Joy. Hold out and he will bring you through.

This Easter, have you got a stone like problem? Cling to the master who rolls always heavy stones.

Your Partner in Hope

Debi

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