A Painful Decision

I love doing this, bringing awareness and hope to those on this journey.

This post will feature the story of a dear friend and their painful infertility journey.

Infertility is a destroyer of relationships, love and happiness.

A once happy vibrant couple can become bitter resentful and sometimes split as a result of the intensity brought on by infertility. The inability to conceive or birth a child can take away one’s hopes and dreams.

Izzy was once a vibrant, happy go lucky woman, she loves life, her job and her faith. She was 26 when she met David a simple happy guy, they were perfect for each other. After dating for one year they decided to tie the knot.

Before their wedding they made a private vow to never ever allow anything to change who they are. They love their carefree happy life and vowed to do everything to make sure it stayed that way.

They even wrote a poem to emphasis the point.

Our love will grow and may slow,

We may sail down paths unknown and encounter scenes unseen

But we will keep in view the picture of love that keeps us bound and sane.

And should we tread the path of pain

May we anchor to you our source of strength and eternal hope.

this was printed and placed in their living room. Wedding was celebrate in the simplest way possible and a year later they decided to try for baby. Little did they know fate had other plans waiting for them.

This decision changed the course of their lives and relationships. After a year of trying without success they sought help. By now Izzy was 28 and David 30.

Low sperm count how is that possible? David mused, why me, how how can it be. Several options for conception were presented to them, donor sperm, IVF, ISCI, AI.

David was not an excessive drinker, never smoked, never used drugs, he lived a healthy life. How is that possible? turns out he may have been born that way.

They decided to explore other options. They embraced all treatments option wholeheartedly, still nothing. Izzy was very supportive and finally  David agreed they should go for IVF Using a donor sperm.

THE PROCESS

The process was successful and implantation took place, then pregnancy.. they remained hopeful but were cautious, this was their first conception. Please Lord they prayed, may nothing go wrong.

But 2 month in, disaster struck, suddenly all symptoms stopped and she immediately knew something was wrong.

A scan confirmed their worst fear, no heartbeat was detected. They had suffered a miscarriage.

This loss was very difficult  particularly given their situation, needless to say they were both heart broken. David more so as he felt helpless and guilty, how is he supposed to help his wife, he is the cause yet he can’t do anything about it.

It was an intense period of grief for them. How can they come so close only to be still so far.

It was too painful and this led them to take the painful decision not to go down the IVF rout again.

Their Decision?

If it happens so be it. But they will not put themselves, their happiness, well being and relationship on the line.

This was by no means an easy decision for the couple mainly because David  has a low spent count.

Sadly I have met quite a few couples who have decided not to pursue their dream of being parents via IVF as a result of the intense pain and heartbreak suffered from miscarriage or failure.

We came close to making that choice as each miscarriage and failed IVF becomes more lingual than the last.

I found the pain of another failure more intense than the last.

THE FUTURE

Well 3 years down the line Izzy and David  have somehow rebuilt their lives again and are well on their way to the coupe they were before IVF.

How did they do it? Find our in the next article. Ways to come back from a failed treatment.

Related post

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/09/22/exploring-other-options/

Advertisements

It Only Takes One Egg

I had to share this story with you, because I can identify with it. After several failed IUI they decided to try IVF and now have a baby.

Parents celebrate getting through a three year infertility struggle with a photo of their baby boy surrounded by IVF needles

The process though was not without uncertainty.

The most difficult part of trying for a baby for me was not knowing when. The uncertainties and the endless questions of when and how were often unbearable.

I remembered the 3rd IVF treatment that gave me my little girl. We were excited to learn that 12 eggs were retrieved, but on a follow up call the next day only 5 were viable and fertilised. Out of those, only one developed enough to be transferred back.

I recall our disappointments at this news, we had little hope of any outcome from this egg.

The thought that this egg might not develop was enough to cause me to fret..

My previous treatments were similar to this but each time the eggs fragment before

Fertilisation. So I was not particularly hopeful or expecting anything to come out of this. My only consolation was that this time around at least they got a decent egg that fertilised and implanted

My husband reminded me that we only needed one egg and that kept me going.

I was so stressed during the two weeks Wait I was convinced the procedure had failed.

To say I was elated was an understatement I was shocked and not excited, nervous at was was to come..

it really does take one. It is only normal human emotion for our past experiences to influence our way of thinking..

Being hopeful requires conscious effort on my part. So today if you are in that place where your Hope reservoir is pretty low and almost ran out.. just remember it only takes one egg and as long as you are here and trying who knows you too may welcome your own little miracle..

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Exploring Treatment Options. 

The issues faced by couples or anyone suffering infertility are made worse when you have no idea where and when to seek help.

I have spoken with several women who all agree that they took to seek help as they had no idea where or when to ask for help. Dealing with the emotional roller coaster that comes with infertility is no small feat, it is therefore important to know when to seek help and where to go.

Find out when to seek help in this post: Infertility: When to seek help.

Today’s post explores the various treatment options available to anyone who has been diagnose with the dreaded disease.

First step is to book an appointment with your family doctor.

Based your circumstances and the test results your doctor will then be able to recommend the next step to take.

Treatments for different age group:  There is no one size fit all, when it comes to treatments. Medical evidence shows that a woman’s age affects her ability to get pregnant. Women are Built differently; we have finite number of eggs. The chances of A woman over 35 years getting pregnant are reduced at that age and if she does become pregnant, her risk of miscarriages goes up.

Depending on your age, your doctor may recommend that you skip some of the steps taken by younger couples, and get you on the treatment ladder as quickly as possible.

It is important to know that no treatment will guarantee a positive result. However due to advances in technology, millions of couples like us have gone on to have babies via fertility treatment.

First steps: diagnosis, we explore the possible causes of infertility in both men and women: read it here.

Treating problems with Ovulation: a woman releases eggs once a month, if test shows that you do not ovulate or release enough eggs clomiphene will be given to stimulate your ovaries to release some eggs.

Unexplained infertility: where test shows there is no reason a woman can’t fall pregnant; several options can be exploring. Like, administering clomiphene, hormone injection and Insemination.

Hormone Injections and Insemination. (An insemination procedure uses a thin, flexible tube (catheter) to put sperm into the woman’s reproductive tract, to improve the chances of pregnancy.

Intrauterine insemination: Intrauterine insemination is placing the sperm into a woman’s uterus when she is ovulating, using a catheter, passed into the vagina, through the cervix to the uterus.

Artificial insemination (AI): Artificial insemination is another name for intrauterine insemination but can also refer to placing sperm in a woman’s vagina or cervix when she is ovulating. The sperm is expected to travel into the fallopian tubes, where they can fertilize the woman’s egg or eggs

Blocked or damaged tubes: if your fallopian tubes are blocked, possible treatment may include tubal surgery:

Endometriosis treatment may include laparoscopic surgery to remove endometrial tissue growth. For more severe endometriosis, other treatment options will be exploring.

IVF: In Vitro fertilisation is one of the treatment options available to anyone finding it difficult to fall pregnant: During IVF an egg is removed from the woman’s ovaries and fertilised with sperm in a laboratory: The fertilised egg, (embryo), is put back into the woman’s won to grow and develop into a baby.

IVF can be done using the eggs and sperm of both couples or eggs and sperm of donors.

Conclusion:

If you have been trying to conceive without success, please consult your doctor in the first instance and talk through the various treatment options available to you. There are no one size fits all when it comes to treatment for infertility.

My wish for you is that you will find peace through this process as you wait for your special miracle of a child. As you wait in faith, keep your hopes alive, because nothing is impossible to him who believes.

We would love to hear from you, please comment and share on social media.

 

 

Sources: We seek to bring you up to date information and have complied information from the following health site , NHS choices, Nice websites and HFEA.

Disclaimer: the content of this blog are not intended to treat or diagnose, please consult your doctor in first instance to discuss the choices available to you.