Kick Start Your Fertility in 2020

It’s the beginning of the year and often we have goals and resolutions to adhere to.

Here at faithful wait we are guessing yours is to fall pregnant.

To bring you closer to your dream, we have complied a list of 10 activities or changes to embark on as you work on your desires.

1. Reduce your stress level: stress is now the most commonly diagnosed illness right now. It is especially stressful if you fail to fall pregnant after several tries. If this is you, do simple things to reduce your stress level. this can be planning 10 mins daily walk around the block or at lunch break, practice slow breathing techniques as part of a meditation exercise.

2. Keep a positive attitude, this will involve actively choosing to ignore the negatives. Fill your mind with thoughts that promotes good feeling. I find reading a daily motivation book or quote and meditating on this helps to feel my mind positive thoughts and actions.

3. Practice meditation. This will aid in stress reduction, practice calm breathing sessions, you can find helpful videos on YouTube and other health sites. If cost is no issue, join a gym where you can take part in Pilates and yoga classes.

4. Read. What’s your situation? What do you know about it? Research on it and find alternatives ways to achieve those goals. Exploring other option

5. Alternate medicine: take a daily supplement or vitamins. Folic acid is recommended for those trying to conceive. Discuss with your doctor on what the best medicine to take is.

6. Take up new hobbies. We are often so engaged in

Trying to get pregnant we forget to love life. Take up a new skill like gardening, sewing, knitting, drawing, or learning a language. This l will refocus your mind and take the focus off trying to conceive as well as shift the focus off the issue and release you to enjoying life while you wait.

7. Adopt a healthy lifestyle. This will involve healthy eating and daily exercise. Doctors recommend 30 minutes of moderate exercise. Take a brisk walk, daily swimming or running, whatever suits your you.

9. Hold no grudges. Yes life seems cruel, you may feel you’ve been dealt a bad hand. Let go and look on the bright side. It could be worse.

10. Seek help. To fall pregnant requires action. If you have tried unsuccessfully in the last year and still not pregnant. Find out why. Talk to your doctor. Explore the options available to you. The IVF PROCESS

Do something to get you started.!

These are just a few steps towards achieving your dream of becoming a parent. Find out more for yourself on this site.

Get started today and I wish you every success in 2020. Don’t call it quit

Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

2020: The Year Where the impossible, becomes Possible.

As the 2019 draws to a close, I want to remind us of some impossible feats which became possible.

Humans have achieved so many remarkable things and are still capable of achieving more.

So here we are, the end of 2019.

You may be left disappointed because your hopes and dreams are still what they are hopes and dreams. And may even feel further from the goals you set as even more odds are stacked against you.

What’s the point? you ask yourself.

Well a reminder of great feats accomplished by fellow humans, may encourage you to keep the fire of your dreams and hopes burning to continue to stir the oar and to stay the course.

The four minute mile:

In 1954 at the age of 25, Roger Bannister became the first runner to break the 4 minute mile mark.It was a feat thought impossible at that time. He ran 4 miles for the first time in 1954 with his time at 3:59:4.

This single feat unlocked the possibilities of what men and women went on to achieve in track and field events. what was once deemed impossible has since become the standard for middle distance runners.

Moon landing:

The first moon landing was on 13th September 2013 by the Soviet Union’s Luna.

However on 20th July1969, the United States became the first country to send a manned mission to the moon. Again this was another accomplishment on the feathers of history. And several manned missions have since been embarked upon.

The longest Ice bath.

Wim Hof, holds the world record for the longest Ice Bath. He sat for 1 hour 12 mins in a bath of ice without His core body temperature failing. This was considered medically impossible, yet he proved it can be done.

Consecutive Marathons

In 2013, the Guinness Book of record,recorded that three hundred and sixty six full consecutive marathons was run by Jeannette and Alan Murray-Wakelin. No one has ever attempted this consecutively.

Electronic devices:

The world of technology has come a long way. You only have to look around you to know that humans have accomplished so much in the last century, a feat thought impossible, were imagined and today we have various means of communication.

Our telephones, our TV screens, smart home appliances, have changed the way we do things. The world has become smaller and impossible dreams have become possible.

The first flight.

The Wright Brothers made History when they became the first to achieve a short flight in 1903. This revolutionized the air travel and is regarded as one of the great technical achievements of all times

The development of Vaccines:

For a long time (centuries) life expectancy was low. Then came the great medical advances in the 19th and 20th centuries. As a result, many in the developing world have much longer life expectancy.

The first vaccines to be developed was by Edward Jenner. He developed the smallpox vaccine. And Louis Pasteur developed the Rabies vaccines

The development of vaccines have led to the decline and in some cases eradication of some deadly diseases

Climbing Mount Everest

On May 29th Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tensing Norgay climbed Mount Everest the highest peak in the Himalayas. This paved the way for so many others to attempt other daring adventures.

The first test tube baby.

On the 10/11/1977 IVF was born in the person of Louise Brown. She was born at Oldham and District Hospital in Greater Manchester weighing 5lb 12oz.

Since then, millions of babies worldwide have been born via IVF bringing joy to couples the world over and making their dreams come true.

Earlier today, while still lying in bed, I received a text message about a family member who had her first child,a beautiful baby girl at 52 years of age.

She had two blocked tubes and for years thought it was impossible to have a child, age was of course a factor, but thanks to IVF she is now the mother.

As you scroll down this list of achievements, be encouraged, let hope rise within you.

Doubt if you may, but never ever give up your hopes and dreams of becoming a parent.

Let 2020 be the year you rekindle your zeal and trust in God. If you have stopped trying for lack of funds find out if help is available where you leave .

Whatever you do.. trust, belief, and hope for hope is the confident expectation that something good will happen.

I pray it happens this year for you.

Happy New Year.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Relevant liRead More »

The Egg Freezing process

There are so many things couples faced with infertility have to consider, also single women and those undergoing chemotherapy also have to consider how to deal with their verity. 

Freezing one’s eggs is the best option to secure ones future as parents or to at least keep one’s hope of being a parent alive.

 

UK law allows you to store your eggs for up to 10 years.

In the UK, egg freezing costs on average between £3,500 and £4,500 for one cycle of treatment. In addition to this price, you’ll have to pay an annual fee to keep your eggs stored (from £200 to £360).

What is Egg Freezing?

Egg freezing is a method of preserving a woman’s fertility so she can try and have children at a later date.it involved collecting a woman’s egg, freezing them to allow her to have a baby later on when she’s ready. 

With marriage at an all time low and women finding the right partner much later it makes sense to freeze one’s eggs to ensure that when the time comes one can still have a baby. 

There are other medical reasons for freezing one’s eggs.

To embark on chemotherapy or If a woman  is due to undergo other medical treatment involving some potent drugs.

Also a woman’s chances of conceiving naturally falls as she gets older, becomes the egg quality decreases egg freezing ensures that the best quality eggs are frozen and preserved which can be thawed at a later date.

Key facts:

In 2017, 19% of IVF treatments using a patient’s own frozen eggs were successful.

It’s becoming more successful but by no means a guarantee of having a baby.

Funding may be available if you’re having treatment that affects your fertility. (Source hfea.co.uk)

Is egg freezing for you?

You might be wondering if egg freezing is for you. 

It may be, if you fall into any of the following.

  1. You currently have a medical condition or intend to undergo a treatment for a medical condition which can affect your fertility. 

  2. You are getting on in age and have not met the right partner to start a family with and worried about your quality of egg decking as you get older 

  3. Members of the armed forces who bring deployed to a war zone.

Process

Before egg freezing, you will be tested for HIV and Hepatitis, to ensure that affected samples are stored separately from unaffected samples. 

Once collected the eggs will  a crypto protectant which is a freezing solutions will be added to the eggs. The eggs will be frozen either by cooking them down slowly or by fast freezing called vitrification. 

The fast freezing is regarded as the best methods to adopt for preservation given its success rate. 

When you are ready to use your eggs, they will be thawed and fertilised with the sperm. 

THE COST 

The process of freezing eggs is expensive. On average the cost of having the eggs collected is about £3,350.

Egg storage cost between £125 and £350 per year. 

There maybe unexpected cost added in by the clinic, so It is important to get a full cost of the treatment plan.

Thawing eggs and transferring them to the womb costs an average of £2,500. So, the whole process for egg freezing and thawing costs an average of £7,000-£8,000.

Egg freezing is becoming more popular as more people are freezing their eggs.

In 2017, there were 1,463 egg freezing cycles (in comparison to almost 70,000 IVF treatment cycles overall). Between 2010 and 2017, around 700 babies were born through frozen eggs in the UK.

If you do decided to freeze your eggs be sure to carry out some background checks on the clinic before embarking on the process. Be sure to check out the success rate for women in your age bracket.

Summary.

Eggs can only be kept for 10 years unless exceptional medical circumstances, where you can be allowed to store the eggs up to 55 years. 

To use frozen eggs for fertility process it has to be thawed, the eggs are fertilised via a fertility treatment proves known as ICSI. 

This is because the freezing process makes the outer coating around the egg tougher making fertilisation via turn normal IVF process harder. 

You must update your records at the clinic they do change. This is so that you can be contacted before the 10 years limit for destroying the eggs. 

Your Partner In Hope 

D’Ebi

Related links

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/09/27/ivf-process-step-by-step/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/08/13/single-women-and-ivf/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/04/15/exploring-other-options-icsi/

Sources

NHS

HFEA

IVF PROCESS: Step by Step

Do you know what you are getting into I asked, no I don’t and I don’t care. The only thing I care about is that a baby comes out at the end of it all. This was the conversation I had with a colleague a few weeks ago. 

2 months into her treatment, she was exhausted, miserable and an emotional wreck. She was broken in more ways than she ever thought possible.

She has 3 failed cycle. Before finally conceiving on the 4th.

So what can we do to prepare for Treatment.

First we need to understand the process. What is involved and the help available to you.

Below are 9 steps to be aware of before embarking on treatment 

  1. IVF treatment requires a lot of doctors visit, this is for the clinic to find out the cause and commence the appropriate treatment. After this comes the shots 

  2. The shots: These are administered for 10 to 12 days to stimulate the woman’s ovaries. During a normal cycle, a woman produces one or two eggs. During an IVF cycle the ovaries are stimulated to produce lots of eggs to increase the chances of success. You will be monitored daily or every other day. This will involve ultrasound to measure the size of the eggs as well as ensure that the ovaries are not over stimulated.

  3. After the stimulation phase comes the egg retrieval from the ovaries. This is done under general anesthesia. It is then put in a dish (usually in the lab) to be mixed with the sperm.

  4. Then comes the monitoring stage. 3 to 5 days after the egg retrieval if fertilization occurs, the embryos will be placed back into your uterus. 

  5. Sometimes the eggs maybe abnormal and no fertilization will occur, where this happens it means the cycle has failed. 

  6. The transfer only occurs where the eggs have been fertilized by the sperm. 

  7. You may have some embryos left over and decide to freeze them for later. 

  8. Two weeks after the implantation: you will be invited for a blood test by your clinic to see if you are pregnant. 

  9. This is a very stressful time and you may want to occupy yourself during these 2 weeks wait. 

  10. Pray, believe and rest. 

This is a summary of the IVF process. 

You maybe wondering if it will work, there are no guarantees in life, but we can only try, pray hope and believe.. 

Your Partner in Hope 

D’Ebi 

Related links

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/07/14/what-if/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/08/13/single-women-and-ivf/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/07/17/the-uk-commissioning-groups-decides-who-gets-funding-for-ivf-there-are-some-factories-they-take-into-consideration-i-deciding-who-gets-funded-this-post-looks-the-criterial-for-funding/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/04/15/exploring-other-options-icsi/

Easter and Infertility.

The Lonely Journey of Infertility

When I think of the journey of  Jesus to the cross I realised how lonely it must have been for him.

The process leading to the Cross was one of shame.

He felt abandoned by His father,

He felt  alone as His most trusted friends ran for their lives.

No one wanted to be associated with Him for fear of being killed.

In that moment, when he faced death and breath His last, he asked His father why he was abandoned.

The more I speak to those who have walked or currently on this journey of waiting, the more it becomes apparent how lonely it can get. The notion that there is a community out there seem remote.

Infertility is still a lonely journey.

No one to talk to, fear of being stigmatised, the feeling of shame causes us to bottle it up than open up to anyone.

I am particularly drawn to the two women who went to anoint his body, and wondered who will rolled the stone away. There was an obstacle at the entrance of the tomb, A Stone.

Who will roll away the stone?

The stone is big, two women alone can’t rolled it a way. It will take more than 2 women to roll it away. Who will roll away the stone?

You may be asking yourself right now:

Who will take away this pain of trying?

How will this end?

Will I ever have a child?

But we know how the story ends, although it seemed liked death had won, at the time he was nailed to the cross and put in the tomb.

When he got up on Easter Sunday, truly, God’s purpose for the suffering he endured was unfolded.

Be encouraged by the resurrection of our Lord and Saviour, you may have a stone like problem right now.

Just as the miracle of resurrection happened all those years ago, you will experience a miracle of birth, you too will rise up from the ashes of infertility to new life.

Trust in him, hope in Him, call on Him and you will have help.

A stone like problem? Give it to Jesus.

Happy Easter

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Related reading

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/05/infertility-a-lonely-journey/

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/03/comfort-joy-in-the-mist-of-infertility/

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/07/25/keeping-hope-alive/

I Remember

Today I remember a time when I celebrated birthdays without a child.

When no one made a card for me with scrap papers, scribbled writings and drawings that bears no resemblance to me..

When all I had was a kind and loving husband who will give me the world just to dull the pain of childlessness.

Today, I call to mind those days and it is hard to think back.

I had to pull up pictures of my days without kids. When each birthday I said a little prayer

“Lord let this be the year”..

Today I smile because this day this very moment. I am on top of the world, I am blessed with two beautiful girls.

Today, I heard a sound in my downstairs study and went to investigate

As I opened the door, my six year old screamed

“Mummy you can’t come in”. She was serious, so I retreated.

I knew what she was doing, I caught a glimpse of her making a birthday card for me.

A few minutes later big sister joined her and she called out “mummy whatever you do, DO NOT COME INTO THE STUDY”!

Ok I replied.

I observed as they tiptoed around the house to get items for their cards.

It warmed my heart.

My two little blessings with love in their heart making a birthday card for me.

There is no greater joy.

So today I celebrate with a heart filled with joy and gratitude for this wonderful blessing.

Today I pray for you, that you will come to know the joy of motherhood, that soon the ache you feel will be replaced by pangs of labour.

Your tears will be of joy and unspeakable blessings on beholding your child.

So do not give up.

Do not despair

Do not fear.

This is a journey that will end with rainbows in the skies.

Look up child, soon your blessings will make this wait worth it.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Post to Note

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/03/26/trust-and-joy-in-the-mist-of-pain/

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/03/30/i-see-you/

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/02/24/strengthened-not-faulty/

Trust and Joy in the mist of pain

Mother’s Day and infertility

Celebration of mother is approaching in the UK. On the 31 March we will celebrate and acknowledge mothers

The airwaves, Churches, schools will put up a show to celebrate mothers. It is fitting to do this.

This is a particularly difficult time for anyone who’s trying to conceive.

As you watch others being celebrated a part of you always wonders when you too will be celebrated.

Celebrating mother’s on this day doesn’t take away from what you are experiencing.

If anything this celebration makes me focus even more on my demise. However dark and grim the situation may seem. Let me encourage you to focus on this one truth. This too will pass.

How and when I do not know. Let your trust be fully placed on the master.

Be reminded of this.

Habakkuk 3:17-19 

Though the fig tree do not blossom,

    nor fruit be on the vines,

the produce of the olive fail

    and the fields yield no food,

the flock be cut off from the fold

    and there be no herd in the stalls, 

yet I will rejoice in the Lord,

    I will joy in the God of my salvation. 

God, the Lord, is my strength;

    he makes my feet like hinds’ feet,

    he makes me tread upon my high places.

Re phrased it becomes

Thought my body will not respond to treatments and my monthly flow remains uncertain

Thought my womb refuse to yield and bear children as I get on in age.

My eyes will remain fixed on the Lord who is my strength. He alone will carry me and bring me into His perfect plan for me.

Sometimes we go through seasons of hardship, loss and deep pain. But no matter what we’ve lost, or wanted but never had, we can like Habakkuk rejoice in our relationship with a loving God.

Even when it feels like we have nothing else, He will never fail or abandon us.

He is the One who “provides for those who grieve His is our ultimate reason for joy (Isaiah 61:3).

Don’t endure Mother’s Day, celebrate it by fixing your eyes on him who loves you beyond reason.

Celebrate the unique experience of waiting and the worthiness of what he is fashioning within you.

Celebrate the person your are becoming as a result of the experiences you are face with

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi


Related post

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/03/25/celebrating-mothers-day/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/03/11/how-to-handle-the-pressures-of-mothers-day/

Strengthened, not Faulty.

I remember those dark days (as I call them) of trying, when I blamed infertility as my fault. I remember thinking with the advancement in technology, how come they could not find anything wrong with me?

Something must be wrong with that?

As a coping mechanism I refused to make an emotional investment in my monthly flow for fear of being disappointed and that alone led to more heartache.

I couldn’t hope,

I could dream

I couldn’t believe.

I existed and that was it.

I did not feel useless but felt helpless in that department.

So when I recently read that women are blaming themselves for the inability to be pregnant, I imagined my time on this road.

But let me encourage you, you are not to blame.

Our minds play trick on us all the time and more so when we are at our most vulnerable

I think that it’s is a maternal feeling, albeit an irrational one.

After my second miscarriage I did a soul searching and this scripture something dropped in my spirit

Isaiah 41:10

I will give you strength to go through, I will hold you with my righteous right hand. I was struck by this verse and meditated on it for a very long time.

Strength was was I needed, strength to go through.

Strength for the journey, strength for each treatment cycle.

Strength when another flow occurs.

Strength to deal with other people’s opinion.

Strength to make the right decision.

This scripture reminded  I have a heavenly my father telling me

He will give me strength.

I felt a release in my soul and I lean on him right there and then.

I took on His strength and that made all the difference.

From that day onward I came out strong. I decide to stop blaming myself, My miscarriage is not my fault. None of it was my fault.

I comforted myself knowing I was under the  fathers care and His strength and grace was sufficient for me.

The dark days  of infertility were real but so was the strength of God when I decided to cling to him.

My encouragement for you today is to lay hold

On His strength and grab hold of His hand. He is with you on this journey. Exchange your weakness for His strength

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi


Related links

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/11/22/joy-after-%f0%9d%97%a3%f0%9d%97%ae%f0%9d%97%b6%f0%9d%97%bb/

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/06/fearful-wait/

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/05/infertility-a-lonely-journey/

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/03/comfort-joy-in-the-mist-of-infertility/

Whatever you do, Don’t Stop Trying.

Happy New Year, it seems like it was only yesterday we watched the fireworks display and then sang the Happy New Year song.

It’s 4 years now since  I stopped making New Year’s resolutions, simply because I never keep them.

I think same can be said for most people, resolutions are sometimes about our hopes and aspirations what we wish we could become in the New Year.

For me pre kids days, every year I resolve to be pregnant and set about to do everything I possibly can to bring that dream to to reality.

the funny thing was looking back now I use to include it as part of my New Year’s resolution.

The things we do to in our quest to have a baby.

So what’s your resolve this year? To be a parent? Either via natural conception, IVF, or adoption, whatever the route, I hope that this will be the year you see that reality.

My advice to you is this:

Don’t hesitate, whatever the method through which you expects to become a parent, begin to find out all you can about the process.

If it’s IVF, find out what’s available in your area, what are treatment options, The cost, the process and then book an initial consultation with your Doctor as a starting point.

If you have being through IVF before and receive a diagnosis follow it up, what’s the next step, can you embark on another course of treatment?

If you are considering adoption, find out about the process, what’s required of you, what’s the local authority procedure.

Get started now.

Are you thinking of surrogacy? How would you go about it?

What are the applicable laws where you are?

In all cases consider the financial and emotions impact on you as a couple or single, are there support groups that can help during each process?

I have previously written about each process

See the link below.

Whatever you do, don’t waste another moment, all the best as you embark on the next phase of your journey.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Relevant link:

On Funding

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/07/17/the-uk-commissioning-groups-decides-who-gets-funding-for-ivf-there-are-some-factories-they-take-into-consideration-i-deciding-who-gets-funded-this-post-looks-the-criterial-for-funding/

In Adoption

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/10/to-adopt-or-not/

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/10/06/the-adoption-process/

On Surrogacy

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/10/11/surrogacy/

Choosing a clinic

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/10/26/choosing-an-ivf-clinic/

Exploring treatment option

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/07/02/exploring-treatment-options/

How to come back from a Painful loss.

The previous post talks about the painful decision of trying and coping with loss.

What do you do when your world has seemingly turned upside down?

How do you recover and rebuild again? This post looks at how to come back from a loss or failed treatment cycle.

That’s the question we are faced with after a failed treatment.

Speaking from my own experience, I know that the days immediately after a failed cycle or loss are the worse.

I remember going around  like a zombie and feeling loss, helpless and alone.

I did not know what grief looks like, looking back now, I was grieving but carried on as normal. As the days went on, I slowly came round to the ideal that another treatment had failed and I had to deal with that, but how?

How?

First thing for me was crying I cried the first few days, I was so emotional I refused to eat. Not many people knew the pain I felt because they did not know I had undergone treatment.

Since I was unable to open before the treatment, I decided to spare them the details of my demise.

Crying was my outlet, but a temporary fix.

Temporary because whenever I saw a pregnant woman or baby the emotions came back anew.

I then had to think seriously about  my mental health and how to ensure my body returned to health. Crying for me was a temporary fix providing a temporary relief. Another helpful way I dealt with it was to

Speak out.

I remembered a few friends who had gone through similar situations reached out to me. I was glad they did. They were very supportive and did not attempt to reason my pain away.

One friend in particular just sat in silence with me and we said nothing, that was all I needed. No words, no reasoning.

Often people mistake our grief for an opportunity to offer advice, one has to be sensitive at such times and not assume anything in that moment.

Sometimes all we need is that silent nod which says,  “I care”, “I am here”, “I got you”.

Energy Outlet

To gain new insight into the situation, I channeled my emotions into learning how the next cycle will be better, I asked myself these questions.

“What was was done now”, what could be different“?

Firstly, I nurtured myself to health. I researched how my existing illness could be a contributing factor and the more I read, the clearer it became that it was.

I researched clinics and the type of treatment on offer. I read stories of others who had failed cycles – and how they overcame it.

As a result I gained useful information on clinics and treatments options.

Positivity.

I surrounded my myself and mind with positive vibe, I realised that this is not my fault. It is an illness which needed treatment.

By learning more about the situation and my particular illnesses I was comforted that perhaps there is a treatment option tailored for me.

I prayed

This should be number 1, but it wasn’t, it was difficult at first. But as the days went by, prayer offered a consolation which was a far better relief,

I was able to get rid of negative emotions. Which afforded me the opportunity to speak to a higher power.  

I am a Christian and I know that God helped me through this process and the dark days which accompanied it. So whenever I felt lonely or deeply sad, I talked to him.

I found hope in his assurance as well as being amongst like minded people encouraged me to keep going.

So on this national infertility week, be encouraged to look above, ask for help.

You may not apply these steps exactly, but I do hope that you have gain some perspective on how to deal with a loss or painful situation.

It is very easy to throw in the towels and give up, but never ever lose hope. The rain may be falling now, but the sun will shine again..

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Related post:

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/10/23/a-painful-decision/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/08/14/speak-out/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/06/17/6-ways-to-deal-with-fathers-day/