‘Take it easy’
‘Try again’. Was the general comments I got.
I am a healthy eater and love most things healthy. I can say I am one of those who eat at least 5 or more portions of fruits and veg Daily. So it upset me to be told to eat healthy. I just want to “scream” You don’t know me.
Having tried and Failed to get pregnant, I decided to dig deeper into “the world of the unexplained”.
My instincts tells me the reason I was unable to conceive was due to my pre existing health condition which no one took into account.
Prior to getting married I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, Rheumatoid arthritis and I was put was on hydroxychloroquine. I was put on a course of treatment and was advised not to start a family due to the effect it will have on the unborn baby.
After a year and half on this drug I was given the all clear that the disease was under control and came off. Shortly after we began trying for a baby.
My research into the link between autoimmune deficiencies and infertility started after my failed IVF.
What I did:
Mr google came to my aid. I googled the two words, and several research papers on the topic showed up on the search results. What I discover gave me hope, as my suspicion was confirmed that not only was I wrongly diagnosed as unexplained, I may have found the right place to go for treatment.
After the two failed IVF cycle on the NHS, We decided to go private. We decided on a clinic with the highest success rates for people with pre existing health conditions like mine, for over 35 like me, one which offered Tailor made treatment for every patient.
Just when we though I can’t get pregnant naturally, I fell pregnant twice but sadly lost both pregnancies. The pain of misscarriage. It took us two years before embarking on another course of IVF.
My advice to you today if you have tied and failed to get pregnant naturally or by other methods is to NEVER Give UP: do everything within your power to get your desires and only after you have exhausted all options should that be an Option.
The journey to holding our first baby was turbulence, graced with doubts and questions but we stayed the course.
In order to survive treatment. I made a decision to be of a sound mind and be prepared whatever the outcome.
These 10 steps helped me survive the treatment process and kept my spirts up.
I decided to stopped focusing on the outcome and the “what ifs”. I used to focus on the negative to the point of exhaustion. I couldn’t see any positives from the process. Do not be excessively focus on the outcome. You have been on this journey long enough so stay strong. Our destination may be within reach or may still be far off. Regardless, decide how you want to ride the journey. In misery, distress, hopelessness or with faith, hope and belief in the process. If you did not think it will work, why begin at all. Be full of assurance, riding on the wings of hope.
- Whenever your monthly period show up, don’t retreat into pity or why me mode, go out and see a funny motive to lift up your spirit.
- Be positively expectant of something good happening . You may currently be undergoing treatment or beginning the journey of trying or may have tried and failed. Whatever your reality maybe, enjoy the journey, by surrounding yourself with positive things. Get up each day and look forward to the possibility of what might be.
find someone who has a more severe illness than yours, be an encouragement to them. Start a ministry of encouragement for others and comfort others with the comfort you have received.
- Go out for a drink with a friend. Focus on the beauty of life around you, the plants, the birds in the air, the air we breath in.
- Read a good book, something different from how to get pregnant.
Speak positively to yourself. Tell yourself nothing is wrong with you or your partner. Even if something is wrong, be hopeful that you are on your way to receiving help and in time everything will be alright. Sing and dance: dancing and singing releases some feel good hormone. Your mood will be uplifted taking you away from the intensity of trying.
- Go for a walk and release all the tension within you. find a local gym where you can be part of the swimming or running club.
- Focus on yourself, your progress and how far you have come. You may not be where you want to be, but you are not where you use to be.
- Decide you will be stronger regardless of the outcome. This is not going to define your life or happiness, as much as we want the end results to be good, things may happen which is beyond our control
After You have done all: let go and let God, he knows what you are going through and he will bring you through. You are Built to handle adversity so face yours with faith and courage.