Purpose in Pain

Is there a reason for this pain, why can’t it just end, why the disappointment, discomfort and the long wait.

These are questions we have all asked ourselves in times of great suffering.

Our pain leaves us with more questions than answers. How do you carry on living in the mist of great pain? Disappointment drains us of strength.

Christ suffered for us so that we can have great strength and hope in our pain.

Christ was born to carry not just our sins but our pain, wounded, bruised and hung on the cross he suffered great pain, Just for us.

He stood in our place, where we would have been condemned, he was condemned.

Where we would have been shamed, He was shamed.

Where fear lingers he brought release, And in this season of Christmas we have peace in our hearts because we know that there will be purpose in our pain.

This knowledge gives us strength as we wait for his perfect plan, we live in hope because hope in him doesn’t bring shame.

So are you tired of waiting, look to the the manger then the cross, then cling to his grace which he gave when he rose again.

Your Partners in Hope

D’Ebi

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Reason To Celebrate

My best friends birthday was approaching, It was a significant milestone. I remembered planning ahead trying to figure out what we’re going to do for her.

I contacted her to find out what she had planned, I persisted in asking her until she said “I won’t be having any celebration”.

I sort of expected it because I’ve known for over 20 years and I have never celebrated a birthday with her or celebrated her birthday. I knew her reasons. However, I did not think that such a milestone would go uncelebrated.

She’s single and not currently in a relationship, she’s approaching the age where having children is considered risky, she’s premenopausal. She is in between jobs and between homes.

The last few years have been really difficult for her having lost her dad, which means both parents will not be around when and if she eventually gets married and have children.

Lack of success and achievement in certain areas of our lives, leaves us disappointed and robbed.

You too may be asking yourself as Christmas approaches, what’s there to celebrate?

Our lives are measured by our achievements, the absence of which deemed us failures.

There is a perceived natural progression of ones life, grow up, go to school, meet your partner, graduate, get married, have children and live happily ever after.

As I’ve come to know, life isn’t always a straight line from A to Z. Life will take you from N to B and, from S to W and back again from V to K.

Live doesn’t give you what you order, God does. Life doesn’t give you what you expect, faith in God does. Life doesn’t give you what you think you should have, trust and hope in God does.

And as a result of not getting to those milestones we decide what, when to celebrate and how to celebrate.

Celebration is not about things. We celebrate because we look inside ourselves and we know that regardless of where we are and how far we still have to go, we have a reason to be thankful because a lot of people did not get as far as we have come.

We are thankful because against all odds, are still standing. we reflect on the good we have in our lives.

 I want to encourage you today,  If you find yourself void of joy, void of any enthusiasm to celebrate let the births of Christ inspire you.

What is there to celebrate?

For starters, your health, Your amazing support group, The families in your life. For the strength to keep going, your nieces and nephews, for your job.

Count your blessings, and let your focus well on God’s goodness, not on the absence of should have been.

Our cup is not half empty but half full.

This Christmas rejoice in the fullness of joy that Christ brought when he came into our world. This is why we celebrate.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

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What is Going On?

How often have you wondered what’s going on in your life, how did I get here? How am I going to get out of it? How will it all turn out?

It is often the case, going through infertility leaves us with countless questions.

There’s also someone who wondered about what was going on in her life.

Mary was a little girl from a little village she was betrothed to be married and she was suddenly pregnant.

I imagine many a night Mary ponded what was going on with her? She wondered about her future even though the Angel told her she was carrying the saviour, I imagine in a quietness of her heart,

She had to still process it all. She must have faced doubt even as she progressed in her pregnancy

I imagine she was plagued with so many questions. I don’t think the angels kept coming to reassure her, that the child she was carrying is actually the saviour. There were no account of angels coming month after month to encourage her. Mary trusted God and held him to that promise.

I imagine Mary processed what was going on as she looked at her changing body day and night, contended with knowing and questioning looks from those around her. I imagine even Jospeh’s family may have wondered and she may have wondered as well what on earth do they think happened..

Yes, infertility and what Mary experienced are worlds apart, but nevertheless there are some lessons to draw from Mary’s experience:

Have you pondered what’s going on? Worried about knowing looks, about your aging body? Worried about what the future holds and how you will deal with it?

As I have frequently said in this place we don’t know the future, we don’t know how our story will end, all we can do is hold onto God’s promises.

Has he told you anything? Ponder over them. Has he promised you something? Ponder over it and trust Him completely With your future.

Just like Mary let your soul Him for his wonderful promise which will be fulfilled in your life.

Your Partner in Hope.

D’Ebi

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A Costly Gift

It’s the season of giving and receiving gifts. I have been trying to find the most thoughtful presents for my loved ones and I am sure you are as well.

What will it cost you to do something for someone else? Time, money, your possessions or skills. Going through trying times leaves us focus on ourselves, often too drained to consider giving any of these to others.

I realized this during the most difficult periods of my life, I couldn’t give of myself to anything, I was focused on getting through the stage of infertility, but I knew there were so many in need of my skills and thankfully I decide to keep a journal of my experiences which started faithful wait

Although God freely gives us gifts of love, grace, mercies, forgiveness, protection, provision and love. He makes no demands made of us, because it already cost Him, His Son. It was and remains the most costly gift of all time. The person we now celebrate at Christmas was give. as a gift for many.

His life bought our freedom from sin, sickness, loss, disappointment and gave us a living hope. 

His paid once so that we can enjoy his gifts eternally.

So this Christmas consider someone in worse situation than yourself and give them a gift you can afford, or go a step further, give a gift that will cost you something.

Remember Christ promised to surround you with with favor like a shield in the mist of your situation.

He is with you through every circumstance shielding you, so that you can also respond by helping others.

As you receive Gods blessings during this time, and all through the years, find time to share your gift with others.. because what you receive freely cost him everything. 

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Blessings In Waiting

Today we’re going to look at BLESSINGS IN WAITING.

I think trying or waiting for a child, child loss due to miscarriage or death is one of the most terrible experiences in anyones life.

I had two miscarriages, and sometimes I wonder what my unborn children would have looked like. Had they survived what ages will they be now. I have Come to terms with these loss, but I still wonder.

Anna is an example of a woman who yearned for a baby, she cried because she felt helpless at the delays, she saw her mates bearing children she saw how they relate with those children, she observed it all, day in and day out year in and out.

Elizabeth was also an example of one who waited. These blessings in waiting causes pain, we become entangled in the daily reality of the delay that we live in.

Everyone at one time or the other have experienced joy from having their prayers answered.

Have you ever waited for something, and got it?That desire was a blessing in waiting.

There was a time you waited for a job, for mortgage, for a life partner, for financial breakthrough. They were all blessings in waiting at one time or another.

When you look back, can you see that right now what you are waiting for may also come to pass, but in God’s own time and manner he chooses?

Let’s just pause and look back at those blessings in waiting which you now enjoy. I know how delays can lead us into a place of deep dissatisfaction inpatience and hopelessness.

I once had no children and spent days giving myself shots of IVF Injections, had 2 miscarriages from natural conceptions. But draw strength from those blessings in waiting that you now enjoy.

How do you explain that after eight years of waiting? Today, those blessings in waiting are my reality. I am living and enjoying my beautiful kids but I’m still waiting I’m waiting for a healing.

I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis from an early age. It is under control now due to a course of several potent medications.

While enjoying my blessings of children, I draw strength from the fact that the God who did that for me can also fulfil his promise of healing in my life.

I want you to draw strength from your current blessings while you wait for those yet to come.

Look at that wait and compare all the benefits you are enjoying right now and encourage yourself, if he did it before he would do it again.

Your partner in Hope

Debi

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The Wonder Of Christmas

What is it, that causes you to shudder? What miracle have you seen or heard about that makes you wonder whether it was true or made up?

Wonder is defined as something which fills you with amazement or awe.

The 7 wonders of the ancient world, comes to my mind when I think of wonder. The creators or designers of those human edifice were considered to be genius at a time of no technological advancement as we see today, they came up with Great pyramids, the hanging gardens, the coliseum and many more.

As awe inspiring as these are, they stand pale in comparison to the Christmas story.

Human beings in their brilliance are yet to make a virgin pregnant or raise anyone from the dead.

That’s the wonder of Christmas, This is the reason we celebrate because of the uniqueness of this story. It is so special that it is still the subject of dispute.

If God can come into our world in the manner in which He did, isn’t He able to come into your own situation and turn things around? Yes, He can and He will.

I dare you to keep trusting, believing and His wonder will be performed in your life.

The wonder of it all.

The wonder of it all, that the pitter patter feet of little feet, would become the thundering steps in hell.

Oh the wonder if it, that the little baby of Bethlehem will become the healer and performer of miracles.

The wonder of it all, that the man who hung on the cross is the saviour who died for me.

The wonder of it all that he now sits on the throne as a king interceding for me.

O the wonder if it all.

Your Partner in Hope

Debi

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Too Good to be True

You may have heard the term”too good to be true”. The statement means that if it’s too good to be true, it probably is.

I want to put another thought to you, in God’s world there is nothing like too Good to be true.

Because what seems too good to be true is actually true.

We see some too good to be true moments in the Christmas story.

Zachariah laughed when the angel told him he will be a father,

Sarah laughted when she was told she will become a mother.

An angel told Mary a virgin, she will pregnant with the savior .

These were too good to be true announcements causing some to wonder and laugh at the thought.

You may have been written off, in every sense of the word. Past the child bearing age and still unmarried with no child, yet you still hope.

Some of you may have wondered as well. “Me, become pregnant at 40, 45, 50! No, that’s absurd

Not after the medical diagnoses, after my miscarriage and several losses , after getting married late. After, after and more afters

If you believe and desire it. All things are possible to them who believe.

We saw in the previous post “unimaginable”, that We cannot out expect God, we cannot even contemplate what he has in store for us.

All we can do is trust that he has the best in store for us and in his own way, will bring it to pass. Just like he did in those “too good to be true stories above”.

So next time you question weather it will happen for you? Just know that if he did it in time past, he can do it again.

Trust and believe.

Your partner in Hope

Debi

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The age question.

Yesterday’s post was about how the promised Christ was born 680 years after His birth was foretold.

Today I want to talk about another promised child Issace.

Abraham was 75 year old when God told him he will be a father of multitudes.

Becoming a parent at 75 in today’s world will be considered irresponsible, selfish, foolish, headlines screams “stupid”.

Our world have certain ideas and expectations of when our body should reproduce, never mind the wonders of technology, pregnancy over 40 is almost a taboo, let alone at 50,60 etc.

So for Abraham and Sarah to become parents at 100 is mind boggling to me.

Consider Sarah for a minute, she laughed when she heard the angel spoke of her being a mother. Sarah has written herself off, she knew she was pass her child bearing age, so that suggestion was not one she considered possible.

That laughter was load. It was doubt, it connotes the ridiculousnesses of the thought, it was filled with resignation.

But God fulfilled his promise to Abraham and Sarah and by so doing, paved the way for the Christmas promised “Christ”.

Because Jesus was from the linage of David who is a descendant of Issac.

Hope deferred makes the heart seek, says proverbs. simply put, the longer it takes, the more despondent we become.

I am not asking you to have children at 70, but to look at what is possible and what God can do.

You may have gone past what is considered to be the worlds ideal for child bearing age and have resigned yourself to not happening children.

God can heal, he turned Sarah’s womb and touched Abraham’s body – He can restore loss hope and bring a greater return than expected. Like Sarah and Abraham He can bring that long awaited promise to be.

If God can do it for Sarah, he is the same

Just as Sarah’s disbelief didn’t stop the promise from being fulfilled, so too, nothing can stop God’s promise to you.

Your partner in Hope

Debi

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Advent: Season of Hope

2nd day of Advent.

If you celebrate christmas you will no doubt have began the process of shopping, planning, and Preparing for this wonderful time of the year.

I love this season of faith, joy, festivities just before the new year, a time when we as a people, all come together in one to make merry.

To remember and celebrate the birth of Jesus. Certainly for some, this time is now synonymous with parties and travel and time with families as they call it “the holidays”.

But truly, Advent is observed in many Christian denominations as a time of expectant waiting and preparation for the arrival of Jesus.

In silence contemplation, not in the busyness of high streets shopping malls.

The early church were told of his coming and prepared for it. Although not the same way we now prepare for Christmas, they waited quietly not in chaos.

They waited in hope of a saviour promised to rescue them from the tyranny of their oppressor.

They waited and expected deliverance and a new dawn.

So you see, the story of Christmas is one of waiting.

For those waiting for a baby, this conjures many emotions.

The last post Celebratory seasons talked about how this seasons maybe dreaded by those waiting for a child, as they observe little darlings in their cute Christmas outfits and plays.

I have walked your shoes, waited for 8 years, multiple miscarriages, multiple failed IVFs, so I can relate to the feeling of dread at this very time. As hope waned, expectations strains, you feel all alone.

But my message to you today is to expect something different, expect to receive literally your desires.

Expect to receive the promise of peace, the comfort that comes from waiting and expecting, expect to be touched by Jesus, who is our Prince of Peace.

And continue to hold on as The angel said to Mary

“Blessed is She who believes, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which where told her from the Lord”.

I urged you to wait in Hope for the expected promises.

Look out for tomorrows post “Perspectives”.

Your Partner in Hope

Debi

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Celebratory seasons

Every year we celebrate all kinds of occasions, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, halloween, thanksgiving and christmas.

These season can be triggers for the couple in waiting, because without fail, we see parents adore their young kids with outfit and proudly shows them off.

I did the same when my girls were still little. without thought for how my waiting friends feels. No one intentionally parades their kids to cause distress, we all do it from a place of joy.

But I understand the pain and agony these images can cause. The despair cause by your failed attempt to get pregnant, the repeated miscarriage and the loss of a child.

When I was waiting I discovered that more than seeing friends or pregnant women, the seasons of celebration is the hardest one to face.

There is no escaping the gaiety in the air as you watch friends, dress up with their babies, teens, sons or daughters in teamed outfit.

O the tug at your heart strings as you imagine how you will dress your baby. You build a picture and hold on to the hope that it will one day be you dressing up your child.

These image seems to diminish as the years go by.

And every year as you watch others with their tiny little babies dress up for school plays for halloween themed party for thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, you hide in floods of tears, loathing another celebratory season.

I am reminded by this passage in Psalm 143:8. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love.

Yes seasons may come and go and our desires tarries, but God’s word never changes.

Anchor your hopes to it and hold on, let each celebratory season remind you of His unfailing love and as we approach Christmas when you will have to face Santa and school plays, remember his birth is the reason we are here but his death and resurrection is a promise that we can hold on to his promise, that he will grant us our hearts desires.

For if he did not withhold his Son from us, he will give us freely our hearts desires.

Peace.

Your partner in hope.

Debi

Other related post:

A little town

Trust and Joy in mist of pain