Joy After 𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗻

I have previous written about the struggles of Gabriella Union  (46) in my post

speak out”.

In her interview to pure woman she told a heartbreaking story of going through 7-8 miscarriage. What pain she must have gone through. .

She found out that she has adenomyosis, which is endometriosis of the uterus. It occurs when the endometrial tissue, the same tissue that lines the uterus, grows into the the muscular wall of the uterus, causing intense period pain, prolonged and heavy menstrual bleeding and, in severe cases like Union’s, infertility.

Union did not give up, and than masked the problem which she felt they were doing by advising her to go on the pills, she felt the problem where being masked.

Fast forward to November 7 she and her husband Dwayne Wade  welcomes a beautiful Miracle baby girl via surrogacy.

Her Instagram post is one of pure joy. You can tell that although the road leading to this was littered with pain and tears it was also hope and faith filled.

She did not give up, when her body said no, she sought other option, surrogacy.

A cation on one of her Instagram post was “This little dynamo reminds me to never give up on my dreams “.

I wanted to share this story with you because it is one of faith, hope, and the miracle of having a baby against all odds.

You too maybe at a point where it seems all Hope is lost, you have tried and tried but still nothing seems to be happening.

Don’t give up, try and try again.

Explore the options available to you, do hide away in grief. Speak out. And seek help..

You deserve a baby you deserve to experience the joy of that first smile and many more afterwards. .

Joy and and hope is not the presence of a few.you too can and I hope will become a mum as you with hope, faith and vigor try one more time.

If you want to know more about surrogacy please see previous post here

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

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Endometriosis: A Cause of infertility

I have previously written about causes of infertility see post here.

In this post I want to explore endometriosis in more detail.i was moved to write about this after reading the story of Lene Dunham, the American actress who spoke about her decision to have a hysterectomy due to endometriosis.

Endometriosis occurs when the tissue that lines the uterus (endometrium) is outside of the uterus instead of inside and in other parts of the body.

It can be in the ovaries, fallopian tubes, inside the tummy, and in or around the bladder or bowel.

According to the endometriosis foundation of American

It is a disease of the female reproductive system.

It affects women of childbearing age.

1 in 10 women have the disease.

It is Not easily diagnosed.

It is one of the leading causes of infertility.

Symptoms includes

Pain in the lower tummy or back (pelvic pain) – usually worse during your period.

Period pain that prevents carrying out day to day activities.

Pain during or after sex.

Pain when peeing or pooping during your period

feeling sick, constipation, diarrhoea, or blood in pee during the period

Difficulty getting pregnant

It can also led to depression as it becomes a big part of a woman’s life.

Diagnosis

If you are experiencing any of the above symptoms, see your Doctor. It might help to keep a diary of your symptoms (see link to a PDF diary below) as at when you get them, this helps to give the doctor a good description of the issue. This is because it is often difficult to diagnose as the symptoms are similar to other illness.

Your doctor should carry out some test or refer you to specialist (gynaecologist) who may carry out a laparoscopy.

Laparoscopy is where a surgeon passes a thin tube through a small cut in your skin so they can see any patches of endometriosis tissue. This is the only way to determine if the endometrial tissue is present.

Treatment and ways to alleviate pains.

The NHS and journal of endometriosis do recommend the following as treatment options:

Dietary changes: to include food with inflammatory properties can also help.

Cutting out caffeine and alcohol.

Take painkillers – such as ibuprofen and paracetamol.

Hormone medicines and contraceptives – including the combined pill, the contraceptive patch, an intrauterine system (IUS), and medicines called gonadotrophin-releasing hormone (GnRH) analogues. According to the journal many women reports relief after taking the birth control pills.

Surgery to cut away patches of endometriosis tissue.

An operation to remove part or all of the organs affected by endometriosis – such as surgery to remove the womb (hysterectomy)

Having an hysterectomy is seen as an option but medical experts suggests that this should be the last option and only after seeking the advice of medical advice.

Some women take out their womb as well as the ovaries as the ovaries increases the severity of the pains due to the release of estrogen as egg is being released.

However some women do take out their womb and leave their ovaries in the hope of using their own eggs to have their own biological children.

Endometriosis is one of the leading causes of infertility in women. Surgery to remove endometriosis tissue can help improve your chances of getting pregnant, although there’s no guarantee that you’ll be able to get pregnant after treatment.

Surgery for endometriosis can also sometimes cause further problems, such as infections, bleeding, or damage to affected organs. If surgery is recommended for you, talk to your surgeon about the possible risks.

Lena Dunham recently had an hysterectomy but left her ovaries. She has decided to openly talk about her experiences with the disease

Fertility expert recommends freezing one’s eggs to ensure that they remain healthy and not destroyed by endometriosis.

CAUSE OF ENDOMETRIOSIS

According to Endometriosis UK. Cause is still unknown and possible causes range from

Genetics – if the conditions runs in the families, and in certain ethnic group. You may be more likely affected by it.

Retrograde menstruation – when some of the womb lining flows up through the fallopian tubes and embeds itself on the organs of the pelvis, rather than leaving the body as a period.

Problem with the immune system (the body’s natural defence against illness and infection).

Endometrium cells spreading through the body in the bloodstream or lymphatic system (a series of tubes and glands that form part of the immune system).

But none of these theories fully explain why endometriosis occurs. It’s likely the condition is caused by a combination of different factors.-

(NHS UK).

Coping with Endometriosis:

Many women become aware of the disease after unsuccessful attempts to get pregnant.

So talk to your gynaecologist about your symptoms, and join support groups like, endometriosis UK which has a directory of local support groups.

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi

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Surrogacy

In my previous post I talked about the options available to becoming a parent. One of those options is surrogacy.

Lately surrogacy has been all over the news. 
A few weeks ago the news broke that Kim Kadasian West is expecting her 3rd child via a surrogate.  Also expecting is Net-a-Porter founder Dame Natalie Massenet who at 52 has recently welcomed another child, via a surrogate. It was also reported that popular Cristiano Ronaldo had twins via surrogate.

Difficulty in conceiving can happen to anyone. Regardless of race or wealth. Infertility is a sickness and is no respecter of anyone. 

Surrogacy is  an option considered by couples for various reasons, chief amongst which is the inability for the woman to fall pregnant., repeated miscarriages,

What’s surrogacy?

Surrogacy is when another woman carries or gives birth to a child for the couple who wants to have children. However, the process differs from countries to countries.

In the U.K. Advertising and payment for a surrogate is not allowed. It is illegal to do so, however it is expected that the parents cover reasonable expenses of the surrogate.

It costs up to £2,000 to £20,000 to cover expenses, which is likely to be

lost of earnings, maternity clothes, travel costs for attending clinics and appointment, childcare cost if you already have children while you are away on appointments. Any counselling taken during pregnancy.

There are Two types of surrogacy. 

Traditional surrogacy is where the biological mother uses her own egg which is inseminated with the father’s sperm. This can be done either at home, using a donor insemination kit, or in a clinic.
Gestational surrogacy: happens when the surrogate carries a baby on behalf of the couple using the woman’s egg, fertilised by the husband’s sperm. In this case the baby is not genetically related to the surrogate.
In both cases the egg from the intended mother or donor is fertilised through IVF.

In America surrogacy can be paid for. It is very popular in many states. They have many large agencies matching up couples who want a surrogates. The cost ranges from £18,000 to £250,000.

What is required? 

Most couples wanting a surrogate naturally wants to make sure that the surrogate is of good health, and have a sound mind. Some couples spend a few good months getting to know the surrogate and become friends before making their decision. This way they get to know and bond with them.

Some intended parents have certain requirements like a certain age group. They may prefer someone who’s not too far way for easy of access and to minimise travel cost. Some parents insist on lifestyle changes for the surrogate. This will be covered in the agreement.

They may also consider marital status . As the risk of first pregnancy for first pregnancy is higher, some surrogacy prefer women with previous pregnancies, of at least one child.

Hand over

Surrogates never see the baby they carry as theirs. It is purely a legal arrangement. Their involvement is strictly to help another couple out. The terms are made clear in a contract which is signed by both parties the agreement states whose child it is.

The baby is the surrogates in the eyes of the law. When the baby is born, a parental order needs to be signed at a court to give or transfer parentage to the parents until then The child belongs to whoever carries and bore the child. 

Questions: Is it for Me? 

You may be wondering if surrogacy is for you. Consider your situation and how much you want child.

Surrogacy may be appropriate if you have a medical condition that makes it impossible or dangerous to get pregnant and to give birth.
It may also be an option for you if you have suffered:
absence or malformation of the womb, recurrent pregnancy loss, repeated in vitro fertilisation (IVF) implantation failures.

In my previous post I talked about the options available to becoming a parent.

Of those options is surrogacy, Lately surrogacy has been all over the news.
Last week the news broke that Kim Kadasian West is expecting her 3rd child.

 

They may also consider marital status and previous birth history
As the risk of first pregnancy for first pregnancy is higher some surrogacy prefer women, with previous pregnancies, of at least one child.

Hand over 

Some parents insist on lifestyle changes for the surrogate. This will be covered in the agreement.

Surrogates never see the baby they carry as theirs. It is purely a legal arrangement. Their involvement is strictly to help another couple out. And the terms are made clear in a contract which is signed by both parties. However the baby is the surrogates in the eyes of the law.

A parental order needs to be signed at a court to give or transfer parentage to the parents until then The child belongs to whoever carries and bore the child.
Is it for Me?

You may be wondering if surrogacy is for you. Consider your situation and how much you want child. 

Surrogacy may be appropriate if you have a medical condition that makes it impossible or dangerous to get pregnant and to give birth. It may be an option for you if you have suffered:
Absence or malformation of the womb, recurrent pregnancy loss, repeated in vitro fertilisation (IVF) implantation failures.

My encouragement to you is to explore this and other options available, your little cuddles of joy may just be the end result if you just explore.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

 

Sources: HFEA, Surrogacy UK, National Health Service.