I love doing this, bringing awareness and hope to those on this journey.
This post will feature the story of a dear friend and their painful infertility journey.
Infertility is a destroyer of relationships, love and happiness.
A once happy vibrant couple can become bitter resentful and sometimes split as a result of the intensity brought on by infertility. The inability to conceive or birth a child can take away one’s hopes and dreams.
Izzy was once a vibrant, happy go lucky woman, she loves life, her job and her faith. She was 26 when she met David a simple happy guy, they were perfect for each other. After dating for one year they decided to tie the knot.
Before their wedding they made a private vow to never ever allow anything to change who they are. They love their carefree happy life and vowed to do everything to make sure it stayed that way.
They even wrote a poem to emphasis the point.
Our love will grow and may slow,
We may sail down paths unknown and encounter scenes unseen
But we will keep in view the picture of love that keeps us bound and sane.
And should we tread the path of pain
May we anchor to you our source of strength and eternal hope.
this was printed and placed in their living room. Wedding was celebrate in the simplest way possible and a year later they decided to try for baby. Little did they know fate had other plans waiting for them.
This decision changed the course of their lives and relationships. After a year of trying without success they sought help. By now Izzy was 28 and David 30.
Low sperm count how is that possible? David mused, why me, how how can it be. Several options for conception were presented to them, donor sperm, IVF, ISCI, AI.
David was not an excessive drinker, never smoked, never used drugs, he lived a healthy life. How is that possible? turns out he may have been born that way.
They decided to explore other options. They embraced all treatments option wholeheartedly, still nothing. Izzy was very supportive and finally David agreed they should go for IVF Using a donor sperm.
The process was successful and implantation took place, then pregnancy.. they remained hopeful but were cautious, this was their first conception. Please Lord they prayed, may nothing go wrong.
But 2 month in, disaster struck, suddenly all symptoms stopped and she immediately knew something was wrong.
A scan confirmed their worst fear, no heartbeat was detected. They had suffered a miscarriage.
This loss was very difficult particularly given their situation, needless to say they were both heart broken. David more so as he felt helpless and guilty, how is he supposed to help his wife, he is the cause yet he can’t do anything about it.
It was an intense period of grief for them. How can they come so close only to be still so far.
It was too painful and this led them to take the painful decision not to go down the IVF rout again.
If it happens so be it. But they will not put themselves, their happiness, well being and relationship on the line.
This was by no means an easy decision for the couple mainly because David has a low spent count.
Sadly I have met quite a few couples who have decided not to pursue their dream of being parents via IVF as a result of the intense pain and heartbreak suffered from miscarriage or failure.
We came close to making that choice as each miscarriage and failed IVF becomes more lingual than the last.
I found the pain of another failure more intense than the last.
Well 3 years down the line Izzy and David have somehow rebuilt their lives again and are well on their way to the coupe they were before IVF.
How did they do it? Find our in the next article. Ways to come back from a failed treatment.