Tag: Surrogacy

In Silence

D'EbiLeave a comment

In quietness lies strength

I sit still, with my hearts eyes upward looking,

I see seas of love and promises of peace

I am strengthen

In this quiet state

My gaze firmly fixed at something which seem within reach, yet so far away.

In silence, I ponder the future not with fear, or uncertainty

But a firm believe in what is promised and coming.

@D’Ebi

Strengthened, not Faulty. Behind The Scenes, Celebratory seasons, Not Inadequate Advent: Walking in Our shoes, Advent: Season of Hope, The Christmas Miracle, Unplanned Pregnancy,What is Going On?, Good News of Great Joy

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Behind The Scenes

D'EbiLeave a comment

As I read about the baby news of Isreal Houghton and his wife Adrienne, my heart leaped for joy, this couple have been married for about 5 years and behind the scenes they have hoped, prayed, while trying for a baby.

Infertility is no respecter of persons, rich, poor, high class, low class, infertility can and have broken couples, marriages and relationships.

So I was excited for this news that they have conceived via a surrogate mother, and even though they have continued to be public figures, behind the scenes they have pleaded with God, expected, and held on..

So be encouraged, right now, you maybe at your wits end, wondering when Lord, why Lord, How Lord. The behind the scenes experiences where
we cry, we pray, we slop, we start again is not public view, but heavens knows and sees.This poem puts simply

behind the scenes we
fall apart and let the broken pieces of our emotions dance before us.
behind the sciences we sometimes smile and grasp to the last shred of hope, perhaps there will come a day!!!
And hope is all we bond on to.

Behind the scenes we keep on keeping on,
we gather strength and give it one more try,
When strength fails and the future seems bleak,
behind the scenes sometimes the sun comes and breaks through the dark cloud.

my prayer for all those still waiting is to stay the course and trust His perfect plan.

your partner in Hope

Debi

Related post

A Glimpse of Hope

Waiting for the appointed time

Fear not.

Too Good to be True

Tips to help treatment

Surrogacy: I call it a helping hand.

To freeze or not.

D'EbiLeave a comment

This is still the question asked by many women. weather or not to freeze their eggs.

As the awareness around infertility increases I believe there should be deliberate effort to make women aware of how fertility works. From an early age, women should be informed of the decline in their fertility so that they can start to plan for pregnancy, if they so chooses.

Knowing this, the best time to conceive is in the 20s and 30s. However, if this is not possible due to education, career opportunities, ill health, financial constraints, etc., egg freezing should be considered.

Egg reserved are finite, with this information women should should start to plan pregnancy before they turn 35, because according to scientific research, news eggs stop growing at that age. Fertility drops around age 37 and shaply at age 40. At 40 years of age, the chances of natural conception remain only five to 10 percent.

Women can decide they will freeze their eggs, get married early or delay pregnancy but still freeze their eggs. Having this knowledge empowers a woman in their choices

Since women’s fertility is finite, they don’t have the cells which will produce new eggs in the ovaries and the number of existing eggs is reserved. But, there are options to overcome this biological clock barrier.

Egg freezing is an option for women of childbearing age . Given the times we are living in now when more women are achieving their academic and financial potential, I think women should also achieve their dreams Of being a mum and one way to achieve this, is to freeze their eggs while young.

Women can conceive after menopause if they have chosen to freeze their eggs/embryos in their younger years.

I have seen too many friends who were not aware of this option now childless. Some have partners and would have gladly used A frozen egg. Others have no partners but would have settled for a child of their own using their own frozen eggs.

Another options is to use donor eggs, if you have not previously frozen your eggs

This will be done via IVF. The success of IVF also depends on the age and egg reserve of women. Doctors recommend the use of eggs when women are at their optimum age of reproduction and have plenty of egg reserve.

Platelets rich plasmas is injected into the ovaries

This is why egg freezing is important as it ensures that the best quality eggs are frozen and use when needed. Similarly a donor eggs are collected from younger healthy women and used by menopausal women.

If you are a young woman speak with your doctor regarding your options and what is involved in egg freezing process.

To be continued.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

The Egg Freezing process

It Only Takes One Egg

fertility Awareness

IVF:Stages to egg implantation

Surrogacy: Finding a surrogate

D'EbiLeave a comment

Surrogacy is a process by which a woman carries pregnancy on behalf of another woman. 

Types of surrogacy 

Gestational/Host Surrogacy

This type of surrogacy is where the eggs belong to the parents, but are transferred into the surrogate.

The surrogate is not genetically related to the baby.

In this type the embryos will either be 100% the intended parents or made up of one of the parents and a donor egg or sperm donor.

Straight/Traditional Surrogacy

Here the surrogates own eggs are used to conceive. Either via IVF, or IUI.

Where and how to find a surrogate.

Social media has made it easier to find a potential surrogate. 

There are plenty of agencies offering to guide and help you find the perfect surrogate. Do a thorough research on the agency before using them. 

  • Find out all you need to know about them, look at online forums 
  • the processes involved, 
  • how and where they source for surrogate. 
  • If possible locate and interview couples who have successfully used a surrogate vi the agency.
  • Locate and discuss with a surrogate about their association and experiences.
  • The cost of using an agency, be aware that this mind may be different from the cost of paying the surrogate. 

The Surrogate:

You can meet your surrogate on social media via a surrogate, once found develops a relationship/friendship with the surrogate. This will help you connect with the surrogate. 

Next post will explore further the getting to know phase for more information check out the following website for more info 

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Related reading

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/10/11/surrogacy/

Surrogacy: I call it a helping hand.

D'EbiLeave a comment

Gone are the days, when having a baby means you have to be pregnant. While pregnancy is a beautiful experience. Sadly many women have suffered needlessly without success. With surrogacy, hope is restored and couples can now experience the joys of being parents.

I am so glad about the attention surrogacy is getting thanks to some high profile births via surrogates.

Like Candy from the Real Housewives of Atlanta and Kim and Kanye West.

To me, surrogacy means fighting to defeat infertility, doing whatever it takes to hold that precious soul in your hands.

It means not being ashamed to asked another to be the womb that holds your jewels, to trust someone with your heart.

It means exploring what is possible.

To be an expectant mother without the visible sign, but knowing that your heart is pregnant and bursting with love and gratitude.

Surrogacy, it is indeed the helping hand we all need.

In March we I’ll explore more on the topic.

Stay tuned

Whatever you do, Don’t Stop Trying.

D'EbiLeave a comment

Happy New Year, it seems like it was only yesterday we watched the fireworks display and then sang the Happy New Year song.

It’s 4 years now since  I stopped making New Year’s resolutions, simply because I never keep them.

I think same can be said for most people, resolutions are sometimes about our hopes and aspirations what we wish we could become in the New Year.

For me pre kids days, every year I resolve to be pregnant and set about to do everything I possibly can to bring that dream to to reality.

the funny thing was looking back now I use to include it as part of my New Year’s resolution.

The things we do to in our quest to have a baby.

So what’s your resolve this year? To be a parent? Either via natural conception, IVF, or adoption, whatever the route, I hope that this will be the year you see that reality.

My advice to you is this:

Don’t hesitate, whatever the method through which you expects to become a parent, begin to find out all you can about the process.

If it’s IVF, find out what’s available in your area, what are treatment options, The cost, the process and then book an initial consultation with your Doctor as a starting point.

If you have being through IVF before and receive a diagnosis follow it up, what’s the next step, can you embark on another course of treatment?

If you are considering adoption, find out about the process, what’s required of you, what’s the local authority procedure.

Get started now.

Are you thinking of surrogacy? How would you go about it?

What are the applicable laws where you are?

In all cases consider the financial and emotions impact on you as a couple or single, are there support groups that can help during each process?

I have previously written about each process

See the link below.

Whatever you do, don’t waste another moment, all the best as you embark on the next phase of your journey.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Relevant link:

On Funding

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/07/17/the-uk-commissioning-groups-decides-who-gets-funding-for-ivf-there-are-some-factories-they-take-into-consideration-i-deciding-who-gets-funded-this-post-looks-the-criterial-for-funding/

In Adoption

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/10/to-adopt-or-not/

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/10/06/the-adoption-process/

On Surrogacy

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/10/11/surrogacy/

Choosing a clinic

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/10/26/choosing-an-ivf-clinic/

Exploring treatment option

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/07/02/exploring-treatment-options/

Surrogacy

D'Ebi2 Comments

In my previous post I talked about the options available to becoming a parent. One of those options is surrogacy.

Lately surrogacy has been all over the news. 
A few weeks ago the news broke that Kim Kadasian West is expecting her 3rd child via a surrogate.  Also expecting is Net-a-Porter founder Dame Natalie Massenet who at 52 has recently welcomed another child, via a surrogate. It was also reported that popular Cristiano Ronaldo had twins via surrogate.

Difficulty in conceiving can happen to anyone. Regardless of race or wealth. Infertility is a sickness and is no respecter of anyone. 

Surrogacy is  an option considered by couples for various reasons, chief amongst which is the inability for the woman to fall pregnant., repeated miscarriages,

What’s surrogacy?

Surrogacy is when another woman carries or gives birth to a child for the couple who wants to have children. However, the process differs from countries to countries.

In the U.K. Advertising and payment for a surrogate is not allowed. It is illegal to do so, however it is expected that the parents cover reasonable expenses of the surrogate.

It costs up to £2,000 to £20,000 to cover expenses, which is likely to be

lost of earnings, maternity clothes, travel costs for attending clinics and appointment, childcare cost if you already have children while you are away on appointments. Any counselling taken during pregnancy.

There are Two types of surrogacy. 

Traditional surrogacy is where the biological mother uses her own egg which is inseminated with the father’s sperm. This can be done either at home, using a donor insemination kit, or in a clinic.
Gestational surrogacy: happens when the surrogate carries a baby on behalf of the couple using the woman’s egg, fertilised by the husband’s sperm. In this case the baby is not genetically related to the surrogate.
In both cases the egg from the intended mother or donor is fertilised through IVF.

In America surrogacy can be paid for. It is very popular in many states. They have many large agencies matching up couples who want a surrogates. The cost ranges from £18,000 to £250,000.

What is required? 

Most couples wanting a surrogate naturally wants to make sure that the surrogate is of good health, and have a sound mind. Some couples spend a few good months getting to know the surrogate and become friends before making their decision. This way they get to know and bond with them.

Some intended parents have certain requirements like a certain age group. They may prefer someone who’s not too far way for easy of access and to minimise travel cost. Some parents insist on lifestyle changes for the surrogate. This will be covered in the agreement.

They may also consider marital status . As the risk of first pregnancy for first pregnancy is higher, some surrogacy prefer women with previous pregnancies, of at least one child.

Hand over

Surrogates never see the baby they carry as theirs. It is purely a legal arrangement. Their involvement is strictly to help another couple out. The terms are made clear in a contract which is signed by both parties the agreement states whose child it is.

The baby is the surrogates in the eyes of the law. When the baby is born, a parental order needs to be signed at a court to give or transfer parentage to the parents until then The child belongs to whoever carries and bore the child. 

Questions: Is it for Me? 

You may be wondering if surrogacy is for you. Consider your situation and how much you want child.

Surrogacy may be appropriate if you have a medical condition that makes it impossible or dangerous to get pregnant and to give birth.
It may also be an option for you if you have suffered:
absence or malformation of the womb, recurrent pregnancy loss, repeated in vitro fertilisation (IVF) implantation failures.

In my previous post I talked about the options available to becoming a parent.

Of those options is surrogacy, Lately surrogacy has been all over the news.
Last week the news broke that Kim Kadasian West is expecting her 3rd child.

 

They may also consider marital status and previous birth history
As the risk of first pregnancy for first pregnancy is higher some surrogacy prefer women, with previous pregnancies, of at least one child.

Hand over 

Some parents insist on lifestyle changes for the surrogate. This will be covered in the agreement.

Surrogates never see the baby they carry as theirs. It is purely a legal arrangement. Their involvement is strictly to help another couple out. And the terms are made clear in a contract which is signed by both parties. However the baby is the surrogates in the eyes of the law.

A parental order needs to be signed at a court to give or transfer parentage to the parents until then The child belongs to whoever carries and bore the child.
Is it for Me?

You may be wondering if surrogacy is for you. Consider your situation and how much you want child. 

Surrogacy may be appropriate if you have a medical condition that makes it impossible or dangerous to get pregnant and to give birth. It may be an option for you if you have suffered:
Absence or malformation of the womb, recurrent pregnancy loss, repeated in vitro fertilisation (IVF) implantation failures.

My encouragement to you is to explore this and other options available, your little cuddles of joy may just be the end result if you just explore.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

 

Sources: HFEA, Surrogacy UK, National Health Service.