The True Gift Of Christmas

The Birth of Christ brought profound joy as well as grim news of a saviour who would die and rescue the world.

Mary felt Joy for Her saviour and child was born. But she also knew that he will be opposed for he’s appointed for the rise and fall of many. Luke 2.34-35.

I imagined she was sad/thorn because of the impending danger he faced early and  later years in life.  
Yes, Christmas morning brought both joy and sadness.  And as the years rolled by Mary watched her baby the saviour slept, with teary eyes, she knew the holy one of Israel would pay  for the sins of the world.

So why she was happy at his birth. The long awaited arrival of the saviour meant joy for Many, but for Mary his arrival ended her peace. Her heart felt pain each time he went out of the house.

Every time he left the house, She anticipated, she wondered at every knock, every greeting, her heart skipped a beat. Has the time come?

So for you Christmas morning may mean so many things it maybe mixed with Joy and happiness, you are here still standing, a loving partner, family and friends, a job, and hope for the future.
Or you may have lost your marriages, had another  miscarriage, loss a child, received the dreaded news of blocked tubes, ageing eggs, No job, no funds. Yes Christmas came, but your reality is one of fear for the future.

On this Christmas day, let your heart be quiet and still, be reassured that you are His priced possession.

Your celebration maybe with gratitude, joy, dissatisfaction or disappointment. Just know that “you are His and He is yours”.

Christmas is more than just physical gifts it is an eternal gift of Hope, Joy, deep contentment in knowing that He who has promised will be faithful as He said:

“I will never leave you, nor will I forsake you”.That’s the true gift of ChristmasHis abiding presence with us, which is our reassuring Hope.

Merry Christmas

Your partner in Hope

Related post .

Good News of Great Joy, Presents and Kids, Comfort & Joy: in the mist of infertility. Chaos Before Christmas, Christmas Traditions, The . Christmas Miracle. Does God Forgets, Moments of Splendors, Unimagined

Does God Forgets

In our previous posts I wrote about Rachel and how God remembered her. often we make statements like ”God remembered me”.

But does God forget? That’s the question. Has he forgotten about you?

God is not human and does not forgets like humans beings does.

But often we use the word “God has remembered me”. Usage of that word suggests there is a flaw in God. A human flaw of forgetfulnesses.

Man is fallible so, man forgets.  But God is not a human that he should forget, right? Nor a  human that he should lie, has he said it and will he not do it?

Let me Put it to you that God does forgets. Yes he does. He forgets your sins. He himself said “I will remember their sins no more”. So here, God deliberately forgets and erase your sins from His memories. So when He looks at you He sees you clean.

Earlier on in my quest for a child I went through various scenarios, of times when I may have done somethings for which I was atoning for. It could be anything but the guilt of it all stacks up even more when I couldn’t fall pregnant.

I knew I was forgiven, I knew the delay was not a result of things I may have done.  I just couldn’t stop thinking there was something that is causing the delay. I wanted an answer and maybe you do too. It’s so easy to find a reason to hold on to. Hence we blame it on some past wrong doings.

We sometimes think that there is an underlining deep spiritual message that God was trying to send us?

Then I remember, it was I who forgot that God has forgotten about any past sins.

God did not keep the receipt, He clears the hard drive and every backup copy, He destroyed them. He does not remember my sins. He Forgot.

So I want to challenge you today to take whatever mistakes you think you have made, use an erase-able pan or a pencil Stack them up.

  • write what you remember one by one,
  • Put a strike next to them.
  • Scribble over them.
  • Then use the eraser and rob them out.
  • Finally rip the paper.

Do the same on your computer/Ipad or smart phone.

  • start typing out all the things you think you may have done wrong,
  • then press the back button or highlight them and
  • then delete it all without saving.
This is what God did.
He deleted, he erased, then ripped up the evidence. He doesn’t remember your sins because when you ask for his forgiveness he just erase it. He wiped the slate clean, he cannot remember and see you as new when he looks at you.

So the next time you think the delays you are experiencing is because of some past sins, some jealousy, habits or other horrible stuff, Just Remember, He doesn’t remember your sins.

You are forgiven, washed and cleaned and you have put on Christ As Paul said, so each time you pray he sees Christ. Not your sins.

He sees His son whom he sent as a baby a long time ago to come and cover you, to come and stand in your place on the cross.
Now you are dressed in righteousness and faultless to stand before His throne. That’s who you are, faultless. So come boldly thanking him, for his forgetfulness.
In his book God came near, Max Lucado wrote. Do yourself a favour purge your cellar . Exorcise your basement. Take the Roman  nails of Calvary and board up the door.

And remember he forgot.

Your Partner in Hope

Debi

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The Wonder Of Christmas, A Christmas Prayer, Advent: Season of Hope, Hope Against Hope, Our Hope For The New Year., The Christmas Promise,Moments of Splendors, The Possbilities of Christmas , Advent: Walking in Our shoes.

The Wonder Of Christmas

What is it, that causes you to shudder? What miracle have you seen or heard about that makes you wonder whether it was true or made up?

Wonder is defined as something which fills you with amazement or awe.

The 7 wonders of the ancient world, comes to my mind when I think of wonder. The creators or designers of those human edifice were considered to be genius at a time of no technological advancement as we see today, they came up with Great pyramids, the hanging gardens, the coliseum and many more.

As awe inspiring as these are, they stand pale in comparison to the Christmas story.

Human beings in their brilliance are yet to make a virgin pregnant or raise anyone from the dead.

That’s the wonder of Christmas, This is the reason we celebrate because of the uniqueness of this story. It is so special that it is still the subject of dispute.

If God can come into our world in the manner in which He did, isn’t He able to come into your own situation and turn things around? Yes, He can and He will.

I dare you to keep trusting, believing and His wonder will be performed in your life.

The wonder of it all.

The wonder of it all, that the pitter patter feet of little feet, would become the thundering steps in hell.

Oh the wonder if it, that the little baby of Bethlehem will become the healer and performer of miracles.

The wonder of it all, that the man who hung on the cross is the saviour who died for me.

The wonder of it all that he now sits on the throne as a king interceding for me.

O the wonder if it all.

Your Partner in Hope

Debi

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The Possbilities of Christmas , Too Good to be True, The Christmas Promise, A Christmas Prayer, Advent: Walking in Our shoes, Moments of Splendors, Unimagined,Blessings In Waiting.

Moments of Splendors

What would you consider the most memorable time of your life?

Was it when you got married, got your degree, moved houses, got a new job? received a long expected news?

These are all great achievements to be celebrated but cannot be regarded as moments of splendor.

Moments of splendor was when an angel appeared to Mary and the wise men to tell of the birth of Jesus. They fell on their feet and worshiped. As the songs “the angel of the lord came down and glory shone around”.

I sometimes wondered what that moment was like for Mary and the shepherds: Some described their reaction as one of fear, but I think they were dazed, speechless and yes felt fearful, reverential fear.

This advent as you wait on your promise I pray that you will experience a moment of splendor in the revealing of whom Jesus His. May the power which came upon Mary Come on you and strengthened your body to conceive.

Enjoy this poem.

Moments of splendor, released by sparkling lights, Of angel piercing the skies, announcing the birth of our savior.

Moments of splendour it was as the angel said Fear not, good news is come Of a saviour born today In Bethlehem.

Such splendour thrills my heart. O the wonder of his birth, to see the glory of Christ our king.

Moments of splendour which brings hope. To know He came to be bruised, to be scorned, to be wounded.

That I might be made whole. In this my faith rest and my heart assured of His promise to me.

Your partner in Hope

Debi

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Christmas Traditions, Advent: Walking in Our shoes, Blessings In Waiting, Advent: Season of Hope, Celebratory seasons, The Christmas Promise

 

 

Tips to help treatment

1. keeping a healthy weight. increases ones chances of pregnancy by any method.

According to the NHS, a weight under BMI of over 25 is ideal, they recommend that couples trying to get pregnant work toward achieve a healthy weight. It is thought that an obese woman may have hormonal issues which may impede pregnancy. Follow a healthy exercise and diet plan with your doctor will help you achieve the right weight for your height.

2. it is recommend that adults embark on 150 mins moderate to light mins exercise a week. Exercise activity which increases the heart rate helps to lower blood pressure, fight diabetes and increases a couples chances during IVF.

3. consume coffee in moderation. Some scientific research suggest that women undergoing IVF should consume no more than 3 cups of coffee daily. Too much caffeine can make it difficult to fall pregnant.

4. Start trying early: age plays a huge part in both natural conception and IVF pregnancy. the chances of a woman falling pregnant over 35 declines significantly. It is advise to seek treatment as soon as you start to try without success… The miracle of medicine means that more couples are become parents with the help of donor eggs and adopting. So don’t despair, you can still become a parent.

5. do not smoke, it is though that the quality of egg and sperm is affected by smoking. Before undergoing treatment speak with your doctor on how to quit.

6. Take measures to reduce your stress level. IVF is stressing enough, Being stressful will interfere with both the quality of egg and sperm. incorporate some mediation, yoga, pilates and acupuncture into your daily life to help reduce stress.

sources: NHS ENGLAND

Debbie

Your partner in Hope

Related post.

How to Cope With the Stress of Infertility

IVF PROCESS: Step by Step

The Over 50 Debate

Tips on Staying Healthy.

Treatment and COVID-19

How to Cope With the Stress of Infertility

To add or not to add

According to a recent report by an Australia IVF specialist, standard IVF works therefore there is no need for expensive adds on.

for instance 

ICSI which stands for Intracycloplastic was developed in 1992 as a way of treating male infertility. However, a growing number of clinics are now using it for men with normal sperm count. 

A recent article in the medical journal the lancet based on data from Vietnam, reports that ICSI although much expensive, does not improve the chances of success. 

Their hunch is that “doctors may recommend it for fear of patients’ reactions if the eggs don’t fertilise, even if ICSI doesn’t improve the ultimate chance of a baby for those with a normal sperm count.”

Couples with infertility belong to a very vulnerable group who will do almost anything to achieve a pregnancy. They deserve our dedicated care and evidence-based treatment.” The report concluded. 

So before accepting all that’s recommended by your clinic, 

  • review your results.
  • Ask specific and detailed questions.
  • Undertake your own research into your own Diagnosis, 
  • Review the data  available and read the latest in medical intervention and their successes. 
  • Make your own mind up and resist pressure from your clinic. 

I know it’s difficult to argue with the doctors and the presumption is that they know what they are doing. But when it’s your body and issue, you can certainly ask questions and be satisfied that what you are paying for is absolutely necessary. And lastly, be positive and know that whatever is in store for you will be nice. 

Your Partner in Hope

Debi

Fertility Awareness

It was national fertility awareness week recently and I want to highlight some stats about.

In some countries like Canada, more people are living with infertility than diagnose with lung cancer which is the leading cause of death in Canada.

According to Dr Gaberielle Cassir, who appeared on the Global News in Montreal. Up to 15 % of couples are infertile and the numbers are rising.

There are various causes of infertility: which ranges from the rising age of women having babies as more women are putting off having children later, to unexplained infertility.

There is no perfect answer the specific causes are evenly divided

in 35% of cases, the causes of infertility is due to problems with the pelvic or fallopian tube abnormality.

10% of cases relates to unexplained causes which is usually hard to deal with.

35% male factor

15% ovulatory disfunction.

It is important to create awareness on the causes of infertility to make sure that couples seek help quickly and avoid unnecessary delays which might lead to more problems later.

Currently the world is also dealing with covid and there are various theories on its impact on fertility.

Again, it is generally agreed in the medical world that this is fueled by myth being propagated on social medial.

While is it normal to question the impact of a new vaccine on ones fertility, it is also important to look at the data.

If you are worried speak with your doctor and find out all you need to know about the vaccine.

Is it necessary to talk about fertility issues with the young generation?

I think it is : this is because the first time most couples become aware of the issues surrounding fertility is when they start to try to have a baby, I think talking about it earlier in a young person’s life may be the difference between delays in seeking help and waiting for miracles to happen.

The emotions we feel are common emotions and are distressing and these can cause a huge physiological toil.

Society can prepare youth for the chances of infertility and open an avenue to speak about it.

No one wants to spread fear to our young people, but at the same time it is important to create an awareness. Parents can have that conversation with their kids same as talking about changes in the body during puberty years and teen years, although a bit later.

The emotions are intense and can cause a huge toil on one’s health, no one can be prepared enough, but at least the being in the know can make a huge difference on how one handles the challenges pose by infertility.

We need to demystify the fear and taboo around taking about having fertility issue.

There should be no guilt, shame, taboo surrounding the topic of infertility.

There should be a conversation and women should feel they have a safe place to talk. I am glad that women like Chrissy Teigen, Hilaria Baldwin, Amy Schumer are open about their struggles with infertity and I think this has done more to increase the awareness around miscarriage and IVF. Women are beginning to see that they are not alone and there is some conform in knowing that others have felt the way you do.

Be encouraged and seek help earlier.

Wishing you every success on your fertility journey.

Your Partner in Hope

Debbie

Read More »

Fertility Journey: Part 2

In our second series of fertility journey today we look at Medical Procedures:

Surgical procedures

This will be necessary ifyour fallopian tubes have become blocked or scarred, you may need surgery to repair them.

Surgery can be used to break up the scar tissue in your fallopian tubes, making it easier for eggs to pass through them.

The success of surgery will depend on the extent of the damage to your fallopian tubes.

Endometriosis is when parts of the womb lining start growing outside the womb.

Laparoscopic surgery is often used to treat endometriosis by destroying or removing fluid-filled sacs called cysts.

It may also be used to remove submucosal fibroids, which are small growths in the womb.

If you have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), a minor surgical procedure called laparoscopic ovarian drilling can be used if ovulation medicine has not worked.

This involves using either heat or a laser to destroy part of the ovary.

Correcting an epididymal blockage and surgery to retrieve sperm:Causes of Infertility In Men

The epididymis is a coil-like structure in the testicles that helps store and transport sperm.

Sometimes the epididymis becomes blocked, preventing sperm from being ejaculated normally. If this is causing infertility, surgery can be used to correct the blockage.

Surgical extraction of sperm may be an option if you:

have an obstruction that prevents the release of sperm,

were born without the tube that drains the sperm from the testicle (vas deferens):

have had a vasectomy or a failed vasectomy reversal,

Both operations take a few hours and are done under local anaesthetic as outpatient procedures.

You’ll be advised on the same day about the quality of the tissue or sperm collected.

Any sperm will be frozen and placed in storage for use at a later stage.

Disclaimer. This author is not a medical practitioner, the article has been written with the help of reference materials taken from NHS England. Please consult your Medical practitioner for further advice if you suspect you may be affected by the topic discussed here.

Yours In Hope

Debi

How to Cope With the Stress of Infertility

How to cope with the stress of infertility

One of the worse things a couple can learn is that they are unable to have children. This very discovery can either make or break a relationship.

Having spoken with so many couples about their experiences I have discovered that everyone is affected in a different way, but one common factor is stress.

This post brings you ways of coping with the stress brought on by infertility.

The feeling of helplessness and hopelessness is real to the infertile couple, this feeling if left unchecked can wreak more havoc.

The commonest forms of stress are depression, feelings of anxiety, and mental health problems.

Here are 5 ways you can adopt to deal with stress

1. Identify your feelings: Sometimes it is very difficult to know which feelings you are exhibiting so it is important to identify your feelings. It might hep to Talk to a professional to help you get in touch with your feelings. Identifying how you feel is the first step in dealing with other emotions like anger, guilt, fear, jealousy and shame.

2. Seek Help for your situations : there are a lot of resources on fertility options. (see sources below) rather than waste precious energy on negative emotions, busy yourself by seeking help. Find out all you need to know about your issues. Your doctor should be your first point of call as they will kick start the treatment process.

3. Consider the options available to you. Your research should include cost, the type of treatment available IVF, IUI, Intracytoplasmic sperm injection, other alternatives such as adoption, fostering, surrogacy should be considered also. Advancement in medicine has made possible the impossible.

4. Have a support net work. It is much easier to cope with a stressful situation by talking to someone than by coping alone. Your support net work can be a close friend, who will not be judgemental or a family member like a mum or sister. It can consist of a group or an individual. Be sure they they are people you can count on to be discreet and to always be supportive. There are lots of support groups on social media You can join but only share if you comfortable doing so.

5. Take on a hobby: Find something to do to take your mind off the situation. It can be a passion you had packed away, hiking, fund raising for a good cause, cooking or writing poetry etc. The very act of being engaged in something rewarding frees your mind from the stress of infertility.

Finally always look on the bright side. No matter how worse or bad a situation feels believe it can get better.

So I encourage you to hope for the best.

Believe the best

and expect the best to happen.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Read More »

IVF:Stages to egg implantation

  1. Meeting with Team: this is the initial consultation with the clinic to go throughout process.
  2. The process: The woman will be given medication to suppress her normal menstrual cycle. This is usually given for 2 weeks. My first cycle was a nasal spray but the final cycle was an injection which I learned to inject myself. After which step 3 begins
  3. Boosting the egg supply: This will include stimulation of the ovaries to produce more eggs than usual, to increase the number of eggs for fertility. You will be given a fertility hormone called follicle stimulating hormone (FSH). This is also a daily injection you give yourself or your partner can assist if they want to be involved and feel connected to the process. It’s usually for 10-12 days.
  4. Monitoring. you will be monitored while on the FSH, some clinics will scan every 2 days while others maybe twice weekly during the process. The monitoring may be ultrasound scans to monitor the size of the ovaries, blood test or both. The ovaries are usually measured to see how big the eggs are and a final hormone boost may be given 34-38 hours prior to collection.
  5. Collecting the eggs: Eggs are usually collected on days 10 or 12 depending on the sizes/ how well the ovaries have been stimulated. collecting is usually done under local anesthetic where you will be sedated. A needle is passed through the vagina into each ovary under ultrasound guidance. This procedure may take 15-20 minutes. You may experience cramp or light bleeding afterwards.
  6. Fertilizing the eggs: Once the eggs are collected they are mixed with your partners or the donor sperm in the lab. They are checked after 16-20 hours to see if Fertilization has occurred.
  7. In some cases the eggs may be injected individually with a sperm called ICSI.
  8. Egg Monitoring: The embryos are left to continue to grow for 6 days before being transferred into the womb. The best 2 are usually selected to be transferred.
  9. Embryo Transfer: The embargo’s are transferred into the womb using a thin tube called a catheter passed into the vagina. The procedure is quite simple and doesn’t involve any sedation.
  10. Then began the 2 weeks wait. see next post for how to cope.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Related post

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/05/11/a-woman-in-waiting/

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/07/11/surviving-treatment/

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/09/22/exploring-other-options/

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/10/26/choosing-an-ivf-clinic/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/03/31/it-only-takes-one-egg/