Purpose in Pain

Is there a reason for this pain, why can’t it just end, why the disappointment, discomfort and the long wait.

These are questions we have all asked ourselves in times of great suffering.

Our pain leaves us with more questions than answers. How do you carry on living in the mist of great pain? Disappointment drains us of strength.

Christ suffered for us so that we can have great strength and hope in our pain.

Christ was born to carry not just our sins but our pain, wounded, bruised and hung on the cross he suffered great pain, Just for us.

He stood in our place, where we would have been condemned, he was condemned.

Where we would have been shamed, He was shamed.

Where fear lingers he brought release, And in this season of Christmas we have peace in our hearts because we know that there will be purpose in our pain.

This knowledge gives us strength as we wait for his perfect plan, we live in hope because hope in him doesn’t bring shame.

So are you tired of waiting, look to the the manger then the cross, then cling to his grace which he gave when he rose again.

Your Partners in Hope

D’Ebi

Link to related post

A Glimpse of Hope, Hope does not bring shame., Advent: Season of Hope, Our Hope This Easter, Our Hope For The New Year., Resurected Hope , When God Brings PeaceThe True Gift Of Christmas, A Christmas Prayer, Chaos Before Christmas, The Possbilities of Christmas 

Advertisement

Reason To Celebrate

My best friends birthday was approaching, It was a significant milestone. I remembered planning ahead trying to figure out what we’re going to do for her.

I contacted her to find out what she had planned, I persisted in asking her until she said “I won’t be having any celebration”.

I sort of expected it because I’ve known for over 20 years and I have never celebrated a birthday with her or celebrated her birthday. I knew her reasons. However, I did not think that such a milestone would go uncelebrated.

She’s single and not currently in a relationship, she’s approaching the age where having children is considered risky, she’s premenopausal. She is in between jobs and between homes.

The last few years have been really difficult for her having lost her dad, which means both parents will not be around when and if she eventually gets married and have children.

Lack of success and achievement in certain areas of our lives, leaves us disappointed and robbed.

You too may be asking yourself as Christmas approaches, what’s there to celebrate?

Our lives are measured by our achievements, the absence of which deemed us failures.

There is a perceived natural progression of ones life, grow up, go to school, meet your partner, graduate, get married, have children and live happily ever after.

As I’ve come to know, life isn’t always a straight line from A to Z. Life will take you from N to B and, from S to W and back again from V to K.

Live doesn’t give you what you order, God does. Life doesn’t give you what you expect, faith in God does. Life doesn’t give you what you think you should have, trust and hope in God does.

And as a result of not getting to those milestones we decide what, when to celebrate and how to celebrate.

Celebration is not about things. We celebrate because we look inside ourselves and we know that regardless of where we are and how far we still have to go, we have a reason to be thankful because a lot of people did not get as far as we have come.

We are thankful because against all odds, are still standing. we reflect on the good we have in our lives.

 I want to encourage you today,  If you find yourself void of joy, void of any enthusiasm to celebrate let the births of Christ inspire you.

What is there to celebrate?

For starters, your health, Your amazing support group, The families in your life. For the strength to keep going, your nieces and nephews, for your job.

Count your blessings, and let your focus well on God’s goodness, not on the absence of should have been.

Our cup is not half empty but half full.

This Christmas rejoice in the fullness of joy that Christ brought when he came into our world. This is why we celebrate.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Related pieces

Celebratory seasons, Celebrating Mother’s day,In Silence, True Light, A Costly Gift, God’s unchanging nature, GOT A BIG STONE PROBLEM?, Trust and Joy in the mist of pain

What is Going On?

How often have you wondered what’s going on in your life, how did I get here? How am I going to get out of it? How will it all turn out?

It is often the case, going through infertility leaves us with countless questions.

There’s also someone who wondered about what was going on in her life.

Mary was a little girl from a little village she was betrothed to be married and she was suddenly pregnant.

I imagine many a night Mary ponded what was going on with her? She wondered about her future even though the Angel told her she was carrying the saviour, I imagine in a quietness of her heart,

She had to still process it all. She must have faced doubt even as she progressed in her pregnancy

I imagine she was plagued with so many questions. I don’t think the angels kept coming to reassure her, that the child she was carrying is actually the saviour. There were no account of angels coming month after month to encourage her. Mary trusted God and held him to that promise.

I imagine Mary processed what was going on as she looked at her changing body day and night, contended with knowing and questioning looks from those around her. I imagine even Jospeh’s family may have wondered and she may have wondered as well what on earth do they think happened..

Yes, infertility and what Mary experienced are worlds apart, but nevertheless there are some lessons to draw from Mary’s experience:

Have you pondered what’s going on? Worried about knowing looks, about your aging body? Worried about what the future holds and how you will deal with it?

As I have frequently said in this place we don’t know the future, we don’t know how our story will end, all we can do is hold onto God’s promises.

Has he told you anything? Ponder over them. Has he promised you something? Ponder over it and trust Him completely With your future.

Just like Mary let your soul Him for his wonderful promise which will be fulfilled in your life.

Your Partner in Hope.

D’Ebi

Related pieces

How To Handle the Pressures of Mother’s Day, A Little Town, A Great Outcome:, Coping with Miscarriage and Loss, Hope does not bring shame., Don’t Settle

Behind The Scenes

As I read about the baby news of Isreal Houghton and his wife Adrienne, my heart leaped for joy, this couple have been married for about 5 years and behind the scenes they have hoped, prayed, while trying for a baby.

Infertility is no respecter of persons, rich, poor, high class, low class, infertility can and have broken couples, marriages and relationships.

So I was excited for this news that they have conceived via a surrogate mother, and even though they have continued to be public figures, behind the scenes they have pleaded with God, expected, and held on..

So be encouraged, right now, you maybe at your wits end, wondering when Lord, why Lord, How Lord. The behind the scenes experiences where
we cry, we pray, we slop, we start again is not public view, but heavens knows and sees.This poem puts simply

behind the scenes we
fall apart and let the broken pieces of our emotions dance before us.
behind the sciences we sometimes smile and grasp to the last shred of hope, perhaps there will come a day!!!
And hope is all we bond on to.

Behind the scenes we keep on keeping on,
we gather strength and give it one more try,
When strength fails and the future seems bleak,
behind the scenes sometimes the sun comes and breaks through the dark cloud.

my prayer for all those still waiting is to stay the course and trust His perfect plan.

your partner in Hope

Debi

Related post

A Glimpse of Hope

Waiting for the appointed time

Fear not.

Too Good to be True

Tips to help treatment

Surrogacy: I call it a helping hand.

Benefit of Egg freezing

Frozen eggs beats fertility treatment for women. according to post in Futility today.

The number of US women having children at older ages has been increasing for three decades, with evidence that the trend will continue. Birth rates have declined for women in their 20s and jumped for women in their late 30s and early 40s, according to the US Census Bureau. The average age at first birth has risen from 19 years old in 1984 to 30 years old in 2021 and is higher in many metropolitan areas.

See stores for more

The True Gift Of Christmas

The Birth of Christ brought profound joy as well as grim news of a saviour who would die and rescue the world.

Mary felt Joy for Her saviour and child was born. But she also knew that he will be opposed for he’s appointed for the rise and fall of many. Luke 2.34-35.

I imagined she was sad/thorn because of the impending danger he faced early and  later years in life.  
Yes, Christmas morning brought both joy and sadness.  And as the years rolled by Mary watched her baby the saviour slept, with teary eyes, she knew the holy one of Israel would pay  for the sins of the world.

So why she was happy at his birth. The long awaited arrival of the saviour meant joy for Many, but for Mary his arrival ended her peace. Her heart felt pain each time he went out of the house.

Every time he left the house, She anticipated, she wondered at every knock, every greeting, her heart skipped a beat. Has the time come?

So for you Christmas morning may mean so many things it maybe mixed with Joy and happiness, you are here still standing, a loving partner, family and friends, a job, and hope for the future.
Or you may have lost your marriages, had another  miscarriage, loss a child, received the dreaded news of blocked tubes, ageing eggs, No job, no funds. Yes Christmas came, but your reality is one of fear for the future.

On this Christmas day, let your heart be quiet and still, be reassured that you are His priced possession.

Your celebration maybe with gratitude, joy, dissatisfaction or disappointment. Just know that “you are His and He is yours”.

Christmas is more than just physical gifts it is an eternal gift of Hope, Joy, deep contentment in knowing that He who has promised will be faithful as He said:

“I will never leave you, nor will I forsake you”.That’s the true gift of ChristmasHis abiding presence with us, which is our reassuring Hope.

Merry Christmas

Your partner in Hope

Related post .

Good News of Great Joy, Presents and Kids, Comfort & Joy: in the mist of infertility. Chaos Before Christmas, Christmas Traditions, The . Christmas Miracle. Does God Forgets, Moments of Splendors, Unimagined

Does God Forgets

In our previous posts I wrote about Rachel and how God remembered her. often we make statements like ”God remembered me”.

But does God forget? That’s the question. Has he forgotten about you?

God is not human and does not forgets like humans beings does.

But often we use the word “God has remembered me”. Usage of that word suggests there is a flaw in God. A human flaw of forgetfulnesses.

Man is fallible so, man forgets.  But God is not a human that he should forget, right? Nor a  human that he should lie, has he said it and will he not do it?

Let me Put it to you that God does forgets. Yes he does. He forgets your sins. He himself said “I will remember their sins no more”. So here, God deliberately forgets and erase your sins from His memories. So when He looks at you He sees you clean.

Earlier on in my quest for a child I went through various scenarios, of times when I may have done somethings for which I was atoning for. It could be anything but the guilt of it all stacks up even more when I couldn’t fall pregnant.

I knew I was forgiven, I knew the delay was not a result of things I may have done.  I just couldn’t stop thinking there was something that is causing the delay. I wanted an answer and maybe you do too. It’s so easy to find a reason to hold on to. Hence we blame it on some past wrong doings.

We sometimes think that there is an underlining deep spiritual message that God was trying to send us?

Then I remember, it was I who forgot that God has forgotten about any past sins.

God did not keep the receipt, He clears the hard drive and every backup copy, He destroyed them. He does not remember my sins. He Forgot.

So I want to challenge you today to take whatever mistakes you think you have made, use an erase-able pan or a pencil Stack them up.

  • write what you remember one by one,
  • Put a strike next to them.
  • Scribble over them.
  • Then use the eraser and rob them out.
  • Finally rip the paper.

Do the same on your computer/Ipad or smart phone.

  • start typing out all the things you think you may have done wrong,
  • then press the back button or highlight them and
  • then delete it all without saving.
This is what God did.
He deleted, he erased, then ripped up the evidence. He doesn’t remember your sins because when you ask for his forgiveness he just erase it. He wiped the slate clean, he cannot remember and see you as new when he looks at you.

So the next time you think the delays you are experiencing is because of some past sins, some jealousy, habits or other horrible stuff, Just Remember, He doesn’t remember your sins.

You are forgiven, washed and cleaned and you have put on Christ As Paul said, so each time you pray he sees Christ. Not your sins.

He sees His son whom he sent as a baby a long time ago to come and cover you, to come and stand in your place on the cross.
Now you are dressed in righteousness and faultless to stand before His throne. That’s who you are, faultless. So come boldly thanking him, for his forgetfulness.
In his book God came near, Max Lucado wrote. Do yourself a favour purge your cellar . Exorcise your basement. Take the Roman  nails of Calvary and board up the door.

And remember he forgot.

Your Partner in Hope

Debi

Related posts

The Wonder Of Christmas, A Christmas Prayer, Advent: Season of Hope, Hope Against Hope, Our Hope For The New Year., The Christmas Promise,Moments of Splendors, The Possbilities of Christmas , Advent: Walking in Our shoes.

The Wonder Of Christmas

What is it, that causes you to shudder? What miracle have you seen or heard about that makes you wonder whether it was true or made up?

Wonder is defined as something which fills you with amazement or awe.

The 7 wonders of the ancient world, comes to my mind when I think of wonder. The creators or designers of those human edifice were considered to be genius at a time of no technological advancement as we see today, they came up with Great pyramids, the hanging gardens, the coliseum and many more.

As awe inspiring as these are, they stand pale in comparison to the Christmas story.

Human beings in their brilliance are yet to make a virgin pregnant or raise anyone from the dead.

That’s the wonder of Christmas, This is the reason we celebrate because of the uniqueness of this story. It is so special that it is still the subject of dispute.

If God can come into our world in the manner in which He did, isn’t He able to come into your own situation and turn things around? Yes, He can and He will.

I dare you to keep trusting, believing and His wonder will be performed in your life.

The wonder of it all.

The wonder of it all, that the pitter patter feet of little feet, would become the thundering steps in hell.

Oh the wonder if it, that the little baby of Bethlehem will become the healer and performer of miracles.

The wonder of it all, that the man who hung on the cross is the saviour who died for me.

The wonder of it all that he now sits on the throne as a king interceding for me.

O the wonder if it all.

Your Partner in Hope

Debi

Related post

The Possbilities of Christmas , Too Good to be True, The Christmas Promise, A Christmas Prayer, Advent: Walking in Our shoes, Moments of Splendors, Unimagined,Blessings In Waiting.

Moments of Splendors

What would you consider the most memorable time of your life?

Was it when you got married, got your degree, moved houses, got a new job? received a long expected news?

These are all great achievements to be celebrated but cannot be regarded as moments of splendor.

Moments of splendor was when an angel appeared to Mary and the wise men to tell of the birth of Jesus. They fell on their feet and worshiped. As the songs “the angel of the lord came down and glory shone around”.

I sometimes wondered what that moment was like for Mary and the shepherds: Some described their reaction as one of fear, but I think they were dazed, speechless and yes felt fearful, reverential fear.

This advent as you wait on your promise I pray that you will experience a moment of splendor in the revealing of whom Jesus His. May the power which came upon Mary Come on you and strengthened your body to conceive.

Enjoy this poem.

Moments of splendor, released by sparkling lights, Of angel piercing the skies, announcing the birth of our savior.

Moments of splendour it was as the angel said Fear not, good news is come Of a saviour born today In Bethlehem.

Such splendour thrills my heart. O the wonder of his birth, to see the glory of Christ our king.

Moments of splendour which brings hope. To know He came to be bruised, to be scorned, to be wounded.

That I might be made whole. In this my faith rest and my heart assured of His promise to me.

Your partner in Hope

Debi

Related Post

Christmas Traditions, Advent: Walking in Our shoes, Blessings In Waiting, Advent: Season of Hope, Celebratory seasons, The Christmas Promise

 

 

Tips to help treatment

1. keeping a healthy weight. increases ones chances of pregnancy by any method.

According to the NHS, a weight under BMI of over 25 is ideal, they recommend that couples trying to get pregnant work toward achieve a healthy weight. It is thought that an obese woman may have hormonal issues which may impede pregnancy. Follow a healthy exercise and diet plan with your doctor will help you achieve the right weight for your height.

2. it is recommend that adults embark on 150 mins moderate to light mins exercise a week. Exercise activity which increases the heart rate helps to lower blood pressure, fight diabetes and increases a couples chances during IVF.

3. consume coffee in moderation. Some scientific research suggest that women undergoing IVF should consume no more than 3 cups of coffee daily. Too much caffeine can make it difficult to fall pregnant.

4. Start trying early: age plays a huge part in both natural conception and IVF pregnancy. the chances of a woman falling pregnant over 35 declines significantly. It is advise to seek treatment as soon as you start to try without success… The miracle of medicine means that more couples are become parents with the help of donor eggs and adopting. So don’t despair, you can still become a parent.

5. do not smoke, it is though that the quality of egg and sperm is affected by smoking. Before undergoing treatment speak with your doctor on how to quit.

6. Take measures to reduce your stress level. IVF is stressing enough, Being stressful will interfere with both the quality of egg and sperm. incorporate some mediation, yoga, pilates and acupuncture into your daily life to help reduce stress.

sources: NHS ENGLAND

Debbie

Your partner in Hope

Related post.

How to Cope With the Stress of Infertility

IVF PROCESS: Step by Step

The Over 50 Debate

Tips on Staying Healthy.

Treatment and COVID-19

How to Cope With the Stress of Infertility