Hopping Lanes

I want to talk today about the fast and slow lane.

If like me you drive regularly, you will understand what I’m talking about. There is a fast lane, where drivers can drive at the maximum speed limit, it’s faster than inner lanes on the dual carriageway. Often, these lanes cannot be distinguished during traffic congestion giving the perception of a faster or slower lane.

How one sees traffic during such times depends on how much of a hurry you are to get to your destination.

Sometimes it also depends on what you think is happening in front of you or around you. So often I’m driving and seem to be stuck in my lane while the lanes to my right or left is moving, I veered into “fast” lanes, only for it to become stationery.

I look back to the lane I had just come off, which is now the faster lane, my goodness I should have stayed on that lane which is now or appears to be faster, sometimes I go back and repeat the process a few times, before I give up.

This happens to me often and I am hoping to improve on my lane hopping skills.

Every time, I tell myself, today is the day I’m not going to switch I’m not going to look at what’s happening to my right, or my left I’m just gonna stay in my lane but soon find myself switching.

A bit like the grass being greener on the other side.

We sometimes look at other people’s journey and we think they have it all good we look at the people in our lives for whom life seems to be going smoothly.

It seems like they have everything going for them, no ruffled feathers, are married with 2.4 kids, good jobs, good house, well manicured lawn, and we wish.

Oh my goodness I wish I could have that”

Have you been trying to be pregnant since forever, multiple IVFs, and failed cycle and Still no child. While your friends, neighbour or sister in law keeps popping them? It’s natural to sometimes wish you were in that other person’s shoes.

We really don’t know what’s going on in that lane, in other peoples live, until we switch lanes, an appearance of speed or bliss isn’t always the case.

My encouragement to us, is to stick it out, in your lane, in your world, while hoping for the best outcome.

Expect, prepare, be at peace, regardless of what is going on in other peoples lives, around you.

Your lane maybe slower but it will move and in time take you to your destination.

There maybe detours, road blocks, temporary traffic lights causing serious traffic jam, in the form of IVFs, endometriosis, miscarriage, delays.

“Key word they are temporary”.

Your journey is not compared with anybody else’s so stick it out.

Take the detours, complete the IVfs, do the treatment again if possible, hope, Pray, expect and repeat.

Your Partner in Hope

Debbie

Related Post Don’t tire, keep trying. Whatever you do, Don’t Stop Trying. Purpose in Pain , FaithfulWait: A Reflective Journal for Those in Waiting.

A Glimpse of Hope

2022 has begun in earnest.

If for you the year holds so much promises on the 1st of January 2022 and now you look forward with trepidation because of a current situation, a news you receive, a disappointing diagnosis,

I want to encourage you to hold on and have faith.

Faith to believe when the way is rough.
Faith to hang on when the going is tough.
Faith will pull you through.
Faith will help you glimpse a way out that will comfort you and give you strength to carry on.

Have faith.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

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Faith Vs Fear, A pandemic Problem, Extraordinary Acts Of Love.

Hope does not bring shame.

Here we are, the last day of 2021. We were given 375 days, but not everyone made it to the end.

My prayer at the start of 2021 was for protection, to remain in health and strength. Looking back I can see that my prayers were answered. Of course I asked for other blessings, but I have come to know that lasting blessings are worth more than material wealth or comfort.

As you look back over the year, what blessings stand out to you?

What battles did you overcome? Where there small mile stones you celebrated?

We sometimes over look some blessings because they don’t seem to come front and centre. compared to the big things we asked for.

I get it. For years having a child of my own was front and centre for me as well, it was my number one prayer at the beginning and end of each year.

At some point, I yielded my expectations, dreams and hope to God. I prayed for strength and he gave me strength to continue to expect, I prayed for wisdom and he directed my steps to the right places, he placed good friends in my path a support system through trying times.

These blessings were not front and centre non did they featured in my prayer list at the beginning of the year, but taking stock at the time, they were answers to prayers.

So as you look back, to 2021. Give thanks for those who helped you on this journey, the spouse/partner who stayed and support you. The Holy Spirits leading and the strength to continue and hope on into 2022.

Hope is defined by Webster: “to desire with expectation of fulfil.” Continue to hope in 2022, but give hope wings, infuse your hope with faith in the God who makes all things possible.

Because hope expects, faith believes and receives.

Your partner in Hope

Debi

Other pieces

Good News of Great Joy, Our Hope For The New Year. 2020: The Year Where the impossible, becomes Possible. Faith Vs Fear, New Again , Kick Start Your Fertility in 2020

The True Gift Of Christmas

The Birth of Christ brought profound joy as well as grim news of a saviour who would die and rescue the world.

Mary felt Joy for Her saviour and child was born. But she also knew that he will be opposed for he’s appointed for the rise and fall of many. Luke 2.34-35.

I imagined she was sad/thorn because of the impending danger he faced early and  later years in life.  
Yes, Christmas morning brought both joy and sadness.  And as the years rolled by Mary watched her baby the saviour slept, with teary eyes, she knew the holy one of Israel would pay  for the sins of the world.

So why she was happy at his birth. The long awaited arrival of the saviour meant joy for Many, but for Mary his arrival ended her peace. Her heart felt pain each time he went out of the house.

Every time he left the house, She anticipated, she wondered at every knock, every greeting, her heart skipped a beat. Has the time come?

So for you Christmas morning may mean so many things it maybe mixed with Joy and happiness, you are here still standing, a loving partner, family and friends, a job, and hope for the future.
Or you may have lost your marriages, had another  miscarriage, loss a child, received the dreaded news of blocked tubes, ageing eggs, No job, no funds. Yes Christmas came, but your reality is one of fear for the future.

On this Christmas day, let your heart be quiet and still, be reassured that you are His priced possession.

Your celebration maybe with gratitude, joy, dissatisfaction or disappointment. Just know that “you are His and He is yours”.

Christmas is more than just physical gifts it is an eternal gift of Hope, Joy, deep contentment in knowing that He who has promised will be faithful as He said:

“I will never leave you, nor will I forsake you”.That’s the true gift of ChristmasHis abiding presence with us, which is our reassuring Hope.

Merry Christmas

Your partner in Hope

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The Wonder Of Christmas

What is it, that causes you to shudder? What miracle have you seen or heard about that makes you wonder whether it was true or made up?

Wonder is defined as something which fills you with amazement or awe.

The 7 wonders of the ancient world, comes to my mind when I think of wonder. The creators or designers of those human edifice were considered to be genius at a time of no technological advancement as we see today, they came up with Great pyramids, the hanging gardens, the coliseum and many more.

As awe inspiring as these are, they stand pale in comparison to the Christmas story.

Human beings in their brilliance are yet to make a virgin pregnant or raise anyone from the dead.

That’s the wonder of Christmas, This is the reason we celebrate because of the uniqueness of this story. It is so special that it is still the subject of dispute.

If God can come into our world in the manner in which He did, isn’t He able to come into your own situation and turn things around? Yes, He can and He will.

I dare you to keep trusting, believing and His wonder will be performed in your life.

The wonder of it all.

The wonder of it all, that the pitter patter feet of little feet, would become the thundering steps in hell.

Oh the wonder if it, that the little baby of Bethlehem will become the healer and performer of miracles.

The wonder of it all, that the man who hung on the cross is the saviour who died for me.

The wonder of it all that he now sits on the throne as a king interceding for me.

O the wonder if it all.

Your Partner in Hope

Debi

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Moments of Splendors

What would you consider the most memorable time of your life?

Was it when you got married, got your degree, moved houses, got a new job? received a long expected news?

These are all great achievements to be celebrated but cannot be regarded as moments of splendor.

Moments of splendor was when an angel appeared to Mary and the wise men to tell of the birth of Jesus. They fell on their feet and worshiped. As the songs “the angel of the lord came down and glory shone around”.

I sometimes wondered what that moment was like for Mary and the shepherds: Some described their reaction as one of fear, but I think they were dazed, speechless and yes felt fearful, reverential fear.

This advent as you wait on your promise I pray that you will experience a moment of splendor in the revealing of whom Jesus His. May the power which came upon Mary Come on you and strengthened your body to conceive.

Enjoy this poem.

Moments of splendor, released by sparkling lights, Of angel piercing the skies, announcing the birth of our savior.

Moments of splendour it was as the angel said Fear not, good news is come Of a saviour born today In Bethlehem.

Such splendour thrills my heart. O the wonder of his birth, to see the glory of Christ our king.

Moments of splendour which brings hope. To know He came to be bruised, to be scorned, to be wounded.

That I might be made whole. In this my faith rest and my heart assured of His promise to me.

Your partner in Hope

Debi

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Christmas Traditions, Advent: Walking in Our shoes, Blessings In Waiting, Advent: Season of Hope, Celebratory seasons, The Christmas Promise

 

 

The age question.

Yesterday’s post was about how the promised Christ was born 680 years after His birth was foretold.

Today I want to talk about another promised child Issace.

Abraham was 75 year old when God told him he will be a father of multitudes.

Becoming a parent at 75 in today’s world will be considered irresponsible, selfish, foolish, headlines screams “stupid”.

Our world have certain ideas and expectations of when our body should reproduce, never mind the wonders of technology, pregnancy over 40 is almost a taboo, let alone at 50,60 etc.

So for Abraham and Sarah to become parents at 100 is mind boggling to me.

Consider Sarah for a minute, she laughed when she heard the angel spoke of her being a mother. Sarah has written herself off, she knew she was pass her child bearing age, so that suggestion was not one she considered possible.

That laughter was load. It was doubt, it connotes the ridiculousnesses of the thought, it was filled with resignation.

But God fulfilled his promise to Abraham and Sarah and by so doing, paved the way for the Christmas promised “Christ”.

Because Jesus was from the linage of David who is a descendant of Issac.

Hope deferred makes the heart seek, says proverbs. simply put, the longer it takes, the more despondent we become.

I am not asking you to have children at 70, but to look at what is possible and what God can do.

You may have gone past what is considered to be the worlds ideal for child bearing age and have resigned yourself to not happening children.

God can heal, he turned Sarah’s womb and touched Abraham’s body – He can restore loss hope and bring a greater return than expected. Like Sarah and Abraham He can bring that long awaited promise to be.

If God can do it for Sarah, he is the same

Just as Sarah’s disbelief didn’t stop the promise from being fulfilled, so too, nothing can stop God’s promise to you.

Your partner in Hope

Debi

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The Christmas Miracle, The Christmas Promise, The Possbilities of Christmas , Christmas and waiting, Advent: Walking in Our shoes. Advent: Season of Hope, Good News of Great Joy

Tips to help treatment

1. keeping a healthy weight. increases ones chances of pregnancy by any method.

According to the NHS, a weight under BMI of over 25 is ideal, they recommend that couples trying to get pregnant work toward achieve a healthy weight. It is thought that an obese woman may have hormonal issues which may impede pregnancy. Follow a healthy exercise and diet plan with your doctor will help you achieve the right weight for your height.

2. it is recommend that adults embark on 150 mins moderate to light mins exercise a week. Exercise activity which increases the heart rate helps to lower blood pressure, fight diabetes and increases a couples chances during IVF.

3. consume coffee in moderation. Some scientific research suggest that women undergoing IVF should consume no more than 3 cups of coffee daily. Too much caffeine can make it difficult to fall pregnant.

4. Start trying early: age plays a huge part in both natural conception and IVF pregnancy. the chances of a woman falling pregnant over 35 declines significantly. It is advise to seek treatment as soon as you start to try without success… The miracle of medicine means that more couples are become parents with the help of donor eggs and adopting. So don’t despair, you can still become a parent.

5. do not smoke, it is though that the quality of egg and sperm is affected by smoking. Before undergoing treatment speak with your doctor on how to quit.

6. Take measures to reduce your stress level. IVF is stressing enough, Being stressful will interfere with both the quality of egg and sperm. incorporate some mediation, yoga, pilates and acupuncture into your daily life to help reduce stress.

sources: NHS ENGLAND

Debbie

Your partner in Hope

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How to Cope With the Stress of Infertility

IVF PROCESS: Step by Step

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Tips on Staying Healthy.

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How to Cope With the Stress of Infertility

The 2 weeks wait

Those who got pregnant naturally may not have heard of the two weeks wait.

I certainly was not anxiously waiting two weeks after falling pregnant with our second child to see if there was a positive test or not. It was 12 weeks after, I noticed I was late.

For those who have embarked on IVFs, the period immediately after egg transfer can be the most stress-filled days, it certainly was for me.

I was plague with questions like, what if this fails?

Endless questions like, why don’t i feel anything?

Every twinged was analyzed.

Every symptoms is interpreted as meaning something… a loss, especially having suffered miscarriage

So how do you survive this wait, how do you wait while you wait?

This post gives tips on what to do while waiting:

Do not obsess over every twinge, feelings and changes you notice.

You will feel differently from day to day, so save yourself the stress of ringing up your doctor whenever you think something is wrong.

I know this is a difficult task, but doing the next few steps will help.

  1. Take up an interest, this may seem like the most unlikely time to start something new, but doing something new can has focus your mind and in the process reduce the anxiety of having to constantly fixate on what is happening during the wait. There are lots of sites offering short courses on a varied range of interests .
  2. Walks: This is not the time to go for intensive exercise classes, but you can go for short walks in the woods and admire nature’s beauty.
  3. Yoga: IVF takes so much out of you and yoga is a great way to center your senses.It is great for relaxing and also focuses your mind on being calm as you concentrate on your breathing. Yoga relaxes you into calmness which lingers afterwards.
  4. I took up reflexology during my wait and often come away feeling relaxed. There are great work out videos on youtube.
  5. Learn how to cook a new dish. The process of researching, selecting, preparing the ingredients, peeling, cutting, cleaning the ingredients, engages the mind and also fills you with a sense of achievement. The very motion of cooking engages a different part of the brain. Invite friends over and share the meals with them. laughter and banter with others will do you a world of good.
  6. plan a date with your partner: Fingers crossed everything will go well and this maybe the last few weeks of being alone before your little baby comes. So enjoy the moment and do little stuff together.
  7. Start your diary and begin to write about your IVF experiences, you never know who this may help in future. I kept a dairy of my fertility journey which has formed the basis of this blog.
  8. Get going on that to do list you have been meaning to get to, be careful not to do any heavy lifting. Dusting and tidying of drawers and wardrobe are simple chores to get busy with.
  9. Adult doodle is a great way to pass the time. There are lots of inspirational doodle books around, these are great for lifting your spirits and as you color in the pages imagine your life being beautified by your little one.
  10. positive affirmation. this a way of focusing on the positive and a good practice to engage in, long after IVF. Simply refuse to dwell on the negative, you have nothing to loose and everything to gain by being positive so be full of hope.

Above all hold on to hope, you have come this far there is no need to worry now.
Seek out your support net work, it may be that one friend or a group you are path of, be in constant communication with them so as not to allow your self to drift off into negative and panicking territory.

The journey stared with that first push of the needle and will end with a beautiful baby.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Relevant Post

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/09/27/ivf-process-step-by-step/

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/05/29/the-pain-of-miscarriage/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/08/13/single-women-and-ivf/

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/06/fearful-wait/