Hope does not bring shame.

Here we are, the last day of 2021. We were given 375 days, but not everyone made it to the end.

My prayer at the start of 2021 was for protection, to remain in health and strength. Looking back I can see that my prayers were answered. Of course I asked for other blessings, but I have come to know that lasting blessings are worth more than material wealth or comfort.

As you look back over the year, what blessings stand out to you?

What battles did you overcome? Where there small mile stones you celebrated?

We sometimes over look some blessings because they don’t seem to come front and centre. compared to the big things we asked for.

I get it. For years having a child of my own was front and centre for me as well, it was my number one prayer at the beginning and end of each year.

At some point, I yielded my expectations, dreams and hope to God. I prayed for strength and he gave me strength to continue to expect, I prayed for wisdom and he directed my steps to the right places, he placed good friends in my path a support system through trying times.

These blessings were not front and centre non did they featured in my prayer list at the beginning of the year, but taking stock at the time, they were answers to prayers.

So as you look back, to 2021. Give thanks for those who helped you on this journey, the spouse/partner who stayed and support you. The Holy Spirits leading and the strength to continue and hope on into 2022.

Hope is defined by Webster: “to desire with expectation of fulfil.” Continue to hope in 2022, but give hope wings, infuse your hope with faith in the God who makes all things possible.

Because hope expects, faith believes and receives.

Your partner in Hope

Debi

Other pieces

Good News of Great Joy, Our Hope For The New Year. 2020: The Year Where the impossible, becomes Possible. Faith Vs Fear, New Again , Kick Start Your Fertility in 2020

The True Gift Of Christmas

The Birth of Christ brought profound joy as well as grim news of a saviour who would die and rescue the world.

Mary felt Joy for Her saviour and child was born. But she also knew that he will be opposed for he’s appointed for the rise and fall of many. Luke 2.34-35.

I imagined she was sad/thorn because of the impending danger he faced early and  later years in life.  
Yes, Christmas morning brought both joy and sadness.  And as the years rolled by Mary watched her baby the saviour slept, with teary eyes, she knew the holy one of Israel would pay  for the sins of the world.

So why she was happy at his birth. The long awaited arrival of the saviour meant joy for Many, but for Mary his arrival ended her peace. Her heart felt pain each time he went out of the house.

Every time he left the house, She anticipated, she wondered at every knock, every greeting, her heart skipped a beat. Has the time come?

So for you Christmas morning may mean so many things it maybe mixed with Joy and happiness, you are here still standing, a loving partner, family and friends, a job, and hope for the future.
Or you may have lost your marriages, had another  miscarriage, loss a child, received the dreaded news of blocked tubes, ageing eggs, No job, no funds. Yes Christmas came, but your reality is one of fear for the future.

On this Christmas day, let your heart be quiet and still, be reassured that you are His priced possession.

Your celebration maybe with gratitude, joy, dissatisfaction or disappointment. Just know that “you are His and He is yours”.

Christmas is more than just physical gifts it is an eternal gift of Hope, Joy, deep contentment in knowing that He who has promised will be faithful as He said:

“I will never leave you, nor will I forsake you”.That’s the true gift of ChristmasHis abiding presence with us, which is our reassuring Hope.

Merry Christmas

Your partner in Hope

Related post .

Good News of Great Joy, Presents and Kids, Comfort & Joy: in the mist of infertility. Chaos Before Christmas, Christmas Traditions, The . Christmas Miracle. Does God Forgets, Moments of Splendors, Unimagined

The Wonder Of Christmas

What is it, that causes you to shudder? What miracle have you seen or heard about that makes you wonder whether it was true or made up?

Wonder is defined as something which fills you with amazement or awe.

The 7 wonders of the ancient world, comes to my mind when I think of wonder. The creators or designers of those human edifice were considered to be genius at a time of no technological advancement as we see today, they came up with Great pyramids, the hanging gardens, the coliseum and many more.

As awe inspiring as these are, they stand pale in comparison to the Christmas story.

Human beings in their brilliance are yet to make a virgin pregnant or raise anyone from the dead.

That’s the wonder of Christmas, This is the reason we celebrate because of the uniqueness of this story. It is so special that it is still the subject of dispute.

If God can come into our world in the manner in which He did, isn’t He able to come into your own situation and turn things around? Yes, He can and He will.

I dare you to keep trusting, believing and His wonder will be performed in your life.

The wonder of it all.

The wonder of it all, that the pitter patter feet of little feet, would become the thundering steps in hell.

Oh the wonder if it, that the little baby of Bethlehem will become the healer and performer of miracles.

The wonder of it all, that the man who hung on the cross is the saviour who died for me.

The wonder of it all that he now sits on the throne as a king interceding for me.

O the wonder if it all.

Your Partner in Hope

Debi

Related post

The Possbilities of Christmas , Too Good to be True, The Christmas Promise, A Christmas Prayer, Advent: Walking in Our shoes, Moments of Splendors, Unimagined,Blessings In Waiting.

Moments of Splendors

What would you consider the most memorable time of your life?

Was it when you got married, got your degree, moved houses, got a new job? received a long expected news?

These are all great achievements to be celebrated but cannot be regarded as moments of splendor.

Moments of splendor was when an angel appeared to Mary and the wise men to tell of the birth of Jesus. They fell on their feet and worshiped. As the songs “the angel of the lord came down and glory shone around”.

I sometimes wondered what that moment was like for Mary and the shepherds: Some described their reaction as one of fear, but I think they were dazed, speechless and yes felt fearful, reverential fear.

This advent as you wait on your promise I pray that you will experience a moment of splendor in the revealing of whom Jesus His. May the power which came upon Mary Come on you and strengthened your body to conceive.

Enjoy this poem.

Moments of splendor, released by sparkling lights, Of angel piercing the skies, announcing the birth of our savior.

Moments of splendour it was as the angel said Fear not, good news is come Of a saviour born today In Bethlehem.

Such splendour thrills my heart. O the wonder of his birth, to see the glory of Christ our king.

Moments of splendour which brings hope. To know He came to be bruised, to be scorned, to be wounded.

That I might be made whole. In this my faith rest and my heart assured of His promise to me.

Your partner in Hope

Debi

Related Post

Christmas Traditions, Advent: Walking in Our shoes, Blessings In Waiting, Advent: Season of Hope, Celebratory seasons, The Christmas Promise

 

 

The age question.

Yesterday’s post was about how the promised Christ was born 680 years after His birth was foretold.

Today I want to talk about another promised child Issace.

Abraham was 75 year old when God told him he will be a father of multitudes.

Becoming a parent at 75 in today’s world will be considered irresponsible, selfish, foolish, headlines screams “stupid”.

Our world have certain ideas and expectations of when our body should reproduce, never mind the wonders of technology, pregnancy over 40 is almost a taboo, let alone at 50,60 etc.

So for Abraham and Sarah to become parents at 100 is mind boggling to me.

Consider Sarah for a minute, she laughed when she heard the angel spoke of her being a mother. Sarah has written herself off, she knew she was pass her child bearing age, so that suggestion was not one she considered possible.

That laughter was load. It was doubt, it connotes the ridiculousnesses of the thought, it was filled with resignation.

But God fulfilled his promise to Abraham and Sarah and by so doing, paved the way for the Christmas promised “Christ”.

Because Jesus was from the linage of David who is a descendant of Issac.

Hope deferred makes the heart seek, says proverbs. simply put, the longer it takes, the more despondent we become.

I am not asking you to have children at 70, but to look at what is possible and what God can do.

You may have gone past what is considered to be the worlds ideal for child bearing age and have resigned yourself to not happening children.

God can heal, he turned Sarah’s womb and touched Abraham’s body – He can restore loss hope and bring a greater return than expected. Like Sarah and Abraham He can bring that long awaited promise to be.

If God can do it for Sarah, he is the same

Just as Sarah’s disbelief didn’t stop the promise from being fulfilled, so too, nothing can stop God’s promise to you.

Your partner in Hope

Debi

Related post.

The Christmas Miracle, The Christmas Promise, The Possbilities of Christmas , Christmas and waiting, Advent: Walking in Our shoes. Advent: Season of Hope, Good News of Great Joy

Tips to help treatment

1. keeping a healthy weight. increases ones chances of pregnancy by any method.

According to the NHS, a weight under BMI of over 25 is ideal, they recommend that couples trying to get pregnant work toward achieve a healthy weight. It is thought that an obese woman may have hormonal issues which may impede pregnancy. Follow a healthy exercise and diet plan with your doctor will help you achieve the right weight for your height.

2. it is recommend that adults embark on 150 mins moderate to light mins exercise a week. Exercise activity which increases the heart rate helps to lower blood pressure, fight diabetes and increases a couples chances during IVF.

3. consume coffee in moderation. Some scientific research suggest that women undergoing IVF should consume no more than 3 cups of coffee daily. Too much caffeine can make it difficult to fall pregnant.

4. Start trying early: age plays a huge part in both natural conception and IVF pregnancy. the chances of a woman falling pregnant over 35 declines significantly. It is advise to seek treatment as soon as you start to try without success… The miracle of medicine means that more couples are become parents with the help of donor eggs and adopting. So don’t despair, you can still become a parent.

5. do not smoke, it is though that the quality of egg and sperm is affected by smoking. Before undergoing treatment speak with your doctor on how to quit.

6. Take measures to reduce your stress level. IVF is stressing enough, Being stressful will interfere with both the quality of egg and sperm. incorporate some mediation, yoga, pilates and acupuncture into your daily life to help reduce stress.

sources: NHS ENGLAND

Debbie

Your partner in Hope

Related post.

How to Cope With the Stress of Infertility

IVF PROCESS: Step by Step

The Over 50 Debate

Tips on Staying Healthy.

Treatment and COVID-19

How to Cope With the Stress of Infertility

The 2 weeks wait

Those who got pregnant naturally may not have heard of the two weeks wait.

I certainly was not anxiously waiting two weeks after falling pregnant with our second child to see if there was a positive test or not. It was 12 weeks after, I noticed I was late.

For those who have embarked on IVFs, the period immediately after egg transfer can be the most stress-filled days, it certainly was for me.

I was plague with questions like, what if this fails?

Endless questions like, why don’t i feel anything?

Every twinged was analyzed.

Every symptoms is interpreted as meaning something… a loss, especially having suffered miscarriage

So how do you survive this wait, how do you wait while you wait?

This post gives tips on what to do while waiting:

Do not obsess over every twinge, feelings and changes you notice.

You will feel differently from day to day, so save yourself the stress of ringing up your doctor whenever you think something is wrong.

I know this is a difficult task, but doing the next few steps will help.

  1. Take up an interest, this may seem like the most unlikely time to start something new, but doing something new can has focus your mind and in the process reduce the anxiety of having to constantly fixate on what is happening during the wait. There are lots of sites offering short courses on a varied range of interests .
  2. Walks: This is not the time to go for intensive exercise classes, but you can go for short walks in the woods and admire nature’s beauty.
  3. Yoga: IVF takes so much out of you and yoga is a great way to center your senses.It is great for relaxing and also focuses your mind on being calm as you concentrate on your breathing. Yoga relaxes you into calmness which lingers afterwards.
  4. I took up reflexology during my wait and often come away feeling relaxed. There are great work out videos on youtube.
  5. Learn how to cook a new dish. The process of researching, selecting, preparing the ingredients, peeling, cutting, cleaning the ingredients, engages the mind and also fills you with a sense of achievement. The very motion of cooking engages a different part of the brain. Invite friends over and share the meals with them. laughter and banter with others will do you a world of good.
  6. plan a date with your partner: Fingers crossed everything will go well and this maybe the last few weeks of being alone before your little baby comes. So enjoy the moment and do little stuff together.
  7. Start your diary and begin to write about your IVF experiences, you never know who this may help in future. I kept a dairy of my fertility journey which has formed the basis of this blog.
  8. Get going on that to do list you have been meaning to get to, be careful not to do any heavy lifting. Dusting and tidying of drawers and wardrobe are simple chores to get busy with.
  9. Adult doodle is a great way to pass the time. There are lots of inspirational doodle books around, these are great for lifting your spirits and as you color in the pages imagine your life being beautified by your little one.
  10. positive affirmation. this a way of focusing on the positive and a good practice to engage in, long after IVF. Simply refuse to dwell on the negative, you have nothing to loose and everything to gain by being positive so be full of hope.

Above all hold on to hope, you have come this far there is no need to worry now.
Seek out your support net work, it may be that one friend or a group you are path of, be in constant communication with them so as not to allow your self to drift off into negative and panicking territory.

The journey stared with that first push of the needle and will end with a beautiful baby.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Relevant Post

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/09/27/ivf-process-step-by-step/

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/05/29/the-pain-of-miscarriage/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/08/13/single-women-and-ivf/

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/06/fearful-wait/

Sharing: Dealing with Miscarriage

The loss of a child is indescribable.

Chrissy and John Lenon lost their baby boy half way through their pregnancy and she’s shared her pain with millions of her followers. This has shed more light on the issue.

Miscarriage happens in 1 in 4 pregnancies, with lost occurring before 12 weeks. There are 250,000 miscarriages every year in the U.K.

She has been praised by charities for sharing her pain and heartbreak, even though she’s has been criticised for sharing so publicity. I think she’s brave and courageous, and I applaud her for her strength. 

The pain of miscarriage is so heavy and No one should suffer alone, posting about her loss gave courage to millions of women who also posted comments about their loss and how her openness helps them relate and deal with their pain. 

Her pain reminded me of the 2 miscarriages i suffered after 2 failed IVFs. I was numb for a few days each time as I bled out my babies. And the very thought of knowing it can happen again left me scared.

Miscarriage leaves a hole, a fear, an uncertain feeling deep down in ones guts.. 

Even after having two beautiful daughters, news like Chrissy’s always reminds me of those dark days. 

Although i no longer grieve, I do remember.  

Have you suffered loss, do not keep quiet, share your pain if you so choose, email us, leave a comment and we will lend a listening ear. We will cry with you and sit still with you. Grieve, don’t bottle it up.

Grieving is a natural way of reacting to devastating news.

Like a butterfly you flutter in my womb
like a womb you wriggle and turn.
I came to know you and love you so deeply
I saw our future as one big loop of love
your little feet truffled around 
your little face as it filled up with a smile
i saw your face before you saw mine will lill hold that still still we meet again. 

Holding out Hope to John and Chrissy and the milking who are grieving right now. 

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi

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Signs Of Infertility

We have been writing about surrogacy and the reason to embark on a surrogate journey, on this page for a while:

This led me to think about signs of infertility. The more I speak with friends and those who have tried for a while the more  obvious it  becomes  that some couples delay in seeking help. 

So this post focuses on signs of infertility and when to seek help. 

See similar post herehttps://faithfulwait.com/2016/06/08/infertility-when-to-seek-help/

Infertility affects both male and female. In previous post we discussed that a third of infertility issues comes from women, the other third from men or combination of both, other factors related to unknown causes.

Below is a list of signs of infertility for women

  1. Painful sex
  2. Heavy; long or paid periods: could be a sign of endometriosis, this is a condition where tissues found in the womb are present elsewhere in the body.
  3. Irregular menstrual cycle.
  4. Hormone changes: a test by your doctor can detect changes in hormones: hormone change can lead to weight gain, facial hair in female, loss of sex drive, acne.
  5. Underlying medical conditions: such as damage to Fallopian tubes, PCOS, cancer. Rheumatoid Arthritis ( which is a condition I was diagnosed of).
  6. Obesity:

infertility in men:

 Signs of infertility in men can include 

  1. Hormone imbalance: The key hormone for male is Testosterone where problem with the testes can cause infertility. The males testes have two hormones  which make sperm, the luteinizing hormones and the stimulating hormones.  These hormones are produced by pituitary glands so any problems with this gland Amy also led to infertility in men.
  2. Erectile dysfunction: failure to have erection during sex can be as a result of stress or other psychological factors. Please seek medical intervention If this becomes a regular occurrence.
  3. Ejaculation problem: Any change or difficulty in ejeculation, can result in infertility, medical advice should be sought where this becomes a frequent occurrence 
  4. Problems with the testicle:  This may include swollen, painful, or tender testicles. If you noticed any of these or other changes in your testlces please seek help.
  5. Obesity: Obesity can affect both male and female fertility. It is important to keep your weight under check if you are trying for a baby. 

Other causes of infertility include 

  • Age
  • Excessive drinking/consumption of alcohol
  • Sexually transmitted disease
  • Smoking
  • Poor diet

When to seek help.

If you experience any of the above signs,  please consult your doctor if you are under 35 and have been trying for more than a year (6 months if you are over 35 of age).

Changes to make to boost your fertility 

Change of lifestyle may include having healthier meals

Exercise 

Decreases of total reduction of alcohol 

Keeping your weight in check.

Conclusion

It is important to observe your body for any signs of changes and consult your doctor as soo. As possible to avoid delays in getting pregnant

Your partner in Hope

References

D,Ebi

Read More »

Treatment and COVID-19

IVF AND COVID-19.

The Outbreak of Covid-19 has sadly affected all aspects of our lives and more importantly our health.

As the spread of the virus continues Governments across the globe have had to take difficult decision in an attempt to protect the human race.

I have bee watching the trend and listened keenly to the news being shared. One thing that have been overlooked in all the main stream media outlet is the impact it has on IVF treatment. Once again infertility and IVT treatments takes bottom page on the list of important illness.

Stories being shared around the world shows that it is becoming increasingly difficult to access IVF treatments presently. Ash Mogg and her partner had waited almost a year to a publicly funded list in Ontario and were about to begin the process in two weeks, but their hospital has suspended the treatment indefinitely.

Health Authorities across the world have taken the decision to halt all IVF treatment. The Times of Isreal reported that Isreal has stopped all new IVF treatments over the coronavirus fears. Due to the fear that it could spread in clinics and potentially harm foetuses.

Similar decision has also been taken by the European Society of Human Reproduction and the Embryology and the American Society for Reproductive Medicine.

These decisions were no doubt taken seriously with the safety of everyone affected.

The risk involve with continuing is too great to take. Apart from the risk for the medical technical performing the treatment, there is an increased risk for the patients undergoing the treatment due to the delicate nature of the process and close monitoring during the egg transfer phase, blood testing phase.

The waiting rooms of many IVF clinics are often small and holds between 30 to 40 women and their spouses at any given time. And, given the guidelines on social distancing, enforcing this will be difficult.

Furthermore, there is the added risk during the transferring of the embryo requiring extreme hygiene measures. This is a new virus and it is still unclear what effect if any it may have on foetuses.

the way it is spreading calls for urgent and severe measures to be taken. Never before has the world been shut down even in times of war.

Although the severity of the situation has left many couples heart broken, as their dreams of becoming parents are further, put on hold.

It is especially painful and heart wrenching for those who have had to stop their treatment mid-way. For some women, age is not on their side making this extremely hard to deal with.

I cannot imagine being in your place, I can only encourage you to keep your eyes on the goal. Now more than ever, stay strong. This too shall pass.

Practical things to do to as you wait.


If you must follow the news, limit it to specific times of the day.

Engage your mind with positive messages. Limit your exposure to social media, news outlets and other sources of negativity that may cause you to worry and panic.

  • Keep up to date with what is happening in the world of fertility treatment. Your hospital will also be sending out communications during this time to keep you updated on the developments.

Do something you have always wanted to do. If your city is locked down, take up gardening spring is here clear out the shed and bring out the flower pot

Plant some potted herbs or your favourite flower, watch it grow and bloom and as it does, say a prayer of hope faith that you too will grow and bloom soon with your own baby.

Take an online course learn a language, cooking skill, book club, dance class. The list is endless.

Iife must go on because here there is life, there is hope. My prayer through this is that we will all

I find our true purpose and embrace the real meaning of life.

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi