Tag: trying

The age question.

D'EbiLeave a comment

Yesterday’s post was about how the promised Christ was born 680 years after His birth was foretold.

Today I want to talk about another promised child Issace.

Abraham was 75 year old when God told him he will be a father of multitudes.

Becoming a parent at 75 in today’s world will be considered irresponsible, selfish, foolish, headlines screams “stupid”.

Our world have certain ideas and expectations of when our body should reproduce, never mind the wonders of technology, pregnancy over 40 is almost a taboo, let alone at 50,60 etc.

So for Abraham and Sarah to become parents at 100 is mind boggling to me.

Consider Sarah for a minute, she laughed when she heard the angel spoke of her being a mother. Sarah has written herself off, she knew she was pass her child bearing age, so that suggestion was not one she considered possible.

That laughter was load. It was doubt, it connotes the ridiculousnesses of the thought, it was filled with resignation.

But God fulfilled his promise to Abraham and Sarah and by so doing, paved the way for the Christmas promised “Christ”.

Because Jesus was from the linage of David who is a descendant of Issac.

Hope deferred makes the heart seek, says proverbs. simply put, the longer it takes, the more despondent we become.

I am not asking you to have children at 70, but to look at what is possible and what God can do.

You may have gone past what is considered to be the worlds ideal for child bearing age and have resigned yourself to not happening children.

God can heal, he turned Sarah’s womb and touched Abraham’s body – He can restore loss hope and bring a greater return than expected. Like Sarah and Abraham He can bring that long awaited promise to be.

If God can do it for Sarah, he is the same

Just as Sarah’s disbelief didn’t stop the promise from being fulfilled, so too, nothing can stop God’s promise to you.

Your partner in Hope

Debi

Related post.

The Christmas Miracle, The Christmas Promise, The Possbilities of Christmas , Christmas and waiting, Advent: Walking in Our shoes. Advent: Season of Hope, Good News of Great Joy

Advertisement

Tips to help treatment

D'EbiLeave a comment

1. keeping a healthy weight. increases ones chances of pregnancy by any method.

According to the NHS, a weight under BMI of over 25 is ideal, they recommend that couples trying to get pregnant work toward achieve a healthy weight. It is thought that an obese woman may have hormonal issues which may impede pregnancy. Follow a healthy exercise and diet plan with your doctor will help you achieve the right weight for your height.

2. it is recommend that adults embark on 150 mins moderate to light mins exercise a week. Exercise activity which increases the heart rate helps to lower blood pressure, fight diabetes and increases a couples chances during IVF.

3. consume coffee in moderation. Some scientific research suggest that women undergoing IVF should consume no more than 3 cups of coffee daily. Too much caffeine can make it difficult to fall pregnant.

4. Start trying early: age plays a huge part in both natural conception and IVF pregnancy. the chances of a woman falling pregnant over 35 declines significantly. It is advise to seek treatment as soon as you start to try without success… The miracle of medicine means that more couples are become parents with the help of donor eggs and adopting. So don’t despair, you can still become a parent.

5. do not smoke, it is though that the quality of egg and sperm is affected by smoking. Before undergoing treatment speak with your doctor on how to quit.

6. Take measures to reduce your stress level. IVF is stressing enough, Being stressful will interfere with both the quality of egg and sperm. incorporate some mediation, yoga, pilates and acupuncture into your daily life to help reduce stress.

sources: NHS ENGLAND

Debbie

Your partner in Hope

Related post.

How to Cope With the Stress of Infertility

IVF PROCESS: Step by Step

The Over 50 Debate

Tips on Staying Healthy.

Treatment and COVID-19

How to Cope With the Stress of Infertility

The 2 weeks wait

D'EbiLeave a comment

Those who got pregnant naturally may not have heard of the two weeks wait.

I certainly was not anxiously waiting two weeks after falling pregnant with our second child to see if there was a positive test or not. It was 12 weeks after, I noticed I was late.

For those who have embarked on IVFs, the period immediately after egg transfer can be the most stress-filled days, it certainly was for me.

I was plague with questions like, what if this fails?

Endless questions like, why don’t i feel anything?

Every twinged was analyzed.

Every symptoms is interpreted as meaning something… a loss, especially having suffered miscarriage

So how do you survive this wait, how do you wait while you wait?

This post gives tips on what to do while waiting:

Do not obsess over every twinge, feelings and changes you notice.

You will feel differently from day to day, so save yourself the stress of ringing up your doctor whenever you think something is wrong.

I know this is a difficult task, but doing the next few steps will help.

  1. Take up an interest, this may seem like the most unlikely time to start something new, but doing something new can has focus your mind and in the process reduce the anxiety of having to constantly fixate on what is happening during the wait. There are lots of sites offering short courses on a varied range of interests .
  2. Walks: This is not the time to go for intensive exercise classes, but you can go for short walks in the woods and admire nature’s beauty.
  3. Yoga: IVF takes so much out of you and yoga is a great way to center your senses.It is great for relaxing and also focuses your mind on being calm as you concentrate on your breathing. Yoga relaxes you into calmness which lingers afterwards.
  4. I took up reflexology during my wait and often come away feeling relaxed. There are great work out videos on youtube.
  5. Learn how to cook a new dish. The process of researching, selecting, preparing the ingredients, peeling, cutting, cleaning the ingredients, engages the mind and also fills you with a sense of achievement. The very motion of cooking engages a different part of the brain. Invite friends over and share the meals with them. laughter and banter with others will do you a world of good.
  6. plan a date with your partner: Fingers crossed everything will go well and this maybe the last few weeks of being alone before your little baby comes. So enjoy the moment and do little stuff together.
  7. Start your diary and begin to write about your IVF experiences, you never know who this may help in future. I kept a dairy of my fertility journey which has formed the basis of this blog.
  8. Get going on that to do list you have been meaning to get to, be careful not to do any heavy lifting. Dusting and tidying of drawers and wardrobe are simple chores to get busy with.
  9. Adult doodle is a great way to pass the time. There are lots of inspirational doodle books around, these are great for lifting your spirits and as you color in the pages imagine your life being beautified by your little one.
  10. positive affirmation. this a way of focusing on the positive and a good practice to engage in, long after IVF. Simply refuse to dwell on the negative, you have nothing to loose and everything to gain by being positive so be full of hope.

Above all hold on to hope, you have come this far there is no need to worry now.
Seek out your support net work, it may be that one friend or a group you are path of, be in constant communication with them so as not to allow your self to drift off into negative and panicking territory.

The journey stared with that first push of the needle and will end with a beautiful baby.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Relevant Post

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/09/27/ivf-process-step-by-step/

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/05/29/the-pain-of-miscarriage/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/08/13/single-women-and-ivf/

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/06/fearful-wait/

Sharing: Dealing with Miscarriage

D'EbiLeave a comment

The loss of a child is indescribable.

Chrissy and John Lenon lost their baby boy half way through their pregnancy and she’s shared her pain with millions of her followers. This has shed more light on the issue.

Miscarriage happens in 1 in 4 pregnancies, with lost occurring before 12 weeks. There are 250,000 miscarriages every year in the U.K.

She has been praised by charities for sharing her pain and heartbreak, even though she’s has been criticised for sharing so publicity. I think she’s brave and courageous, and I applaud her for her strength. 

The pain of miscarriage is so heavy and No one should suffer alone, posting about her loss gave courage to millions of women who also posted comments about their loss and how her openness helps them relate and deal with their pain. 

Her pain reminded me of the 2 miscarriages i suffered after 2 failed IVFs. I was numb for a few days each time as I bled out my babies. And the very thought of knowing it can happen again left me scared.

Miscarriage leaves a hole, a fear, an uncertain feeling deep down in ones guts.. 

Even after having two beautiful daughters, news like Chrissy’s always reminds me of those dark days. 

Although i no longer grieve, I do remember.  

Have you suffered loss, do not keep quiet, share your pain if you so choose, email us, leave a comment and we will lend a listening ear. We will cry with you and sit still with you. Grieve, don’t bottle it up.

Grieving is a natural way of reacting to devastating news.

Like a butterfly you flutter in my womb
like a womb you wriggle and turn.
I came to know you and love you so deeply
I saw our future as one big loop of love
your little feet truffled around 
your little face as it filled up with a smile
i saw your face before you saw mine will lill hold that still still we meet again. 

Holding out Hope to John and Chrissy and the milking who are grieving right now. 

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Read More »

Signs Of Infertility

D'EbiLeave a comment

We have been writing about surrogacy and the reason to embark on a surrogate journey, on this page for a while:

This led me to think about signs of infertility. The more I speak with friends and those who have tried for a while the more  obvious it  becomes  that some couples delay in seeking help. 

So this post focuses on signs of infertility and when to seek help. 

See similar post herehttps://faithfulwait.com/2016/06/08/infertility-when-to-seek-help/

Infertility affects both male and female. In previous post we discussed that a third of infertility issues comes from women, the other third from men or combination of both, other factors related to unknown causes.

Below is a list of signs of infertility for women

  1. Painful sex
  2. Heavy; long or paid periods: could be a sign of endometriosis, this is a condition where tissues found in the womb are present elsewhere in the body.
  3. Irregular menstrual cycle.
  4. Hormone changes: a test by your doctor can detect changes in hormones: hormone change can lead to weight gain, facial hair in female, loss of sex drive, acne.
  5. Underlying medical conditions: such as damage to Fallopian tubes, PCOS, cancer. Rheumatoid Arthritis ( which is a condition I was diagnosed of).
  6. Obesity:

infertility in men:

 Signs of infertility in men can include 

  1. Hormone imbalance: The key hormone for male is Testosterone where problem with the testes can cause infertility. The males testes have two hormones  which make sperm, the luteinizing hormones and the stimulating hormones.  These hormones are produced by pituitary glands so any problems with this gland Amy also led to infertility in men.
  2. Erectile dysfunction: failure to have erection during sex can be as a result of stress or other psychological factors. Please seek medical intervention If this becomes a regular occurrence.
  3. Ejaculation problem: Any change or difficulty in ejeculation, can result in infertility, medical advice should be sought where this becomes a frequent occurrence 
  4. Problems with the testicle:  This may include swollen, painful, or tender testicles. If you noticed any of these or other changes in your testlces please seek help.
  5. Obesity: Obesity can affect both male and female fertility. It is important to keep your weight under check if you are trying for a baby. 

Other causes of infertility include 

  • Age
  • Excessive drinking/consumption of alcohol
  • Sexually transmitted disease
  • Smoking
  • Poor diet

When to seek help.

If you experience any of the above signs,  please consult your doctor if you are under 35 and have been trying for more than a year (6 months if you are over 35 of age).

Changes to make to boost your fertility 

Change of lifestyle may include having healthier meals

Exercise 

Decreases of total reduction of alcohol 

Keeping your weight in check.

Conclusion

It is important to observe your body for any signs of changes and consult your doctor as soo. As possible to avoid delays in getting pregnant

Your partner in Hope

References

D,Ebi

Read More »

Treatment and COVID-19

D'EbiLeave a comment

IVF AND COVID-19.

The Outbreak of Covid-19 has sadly affected all aspects of our lives and more importantly our health.

As the spread of the virus continues Governments across the globe have had to take difficult decision in an attempt to protect the human race.

I have bee watching the trend and listened keenly to the news being shared. One thing that have been overlooked in all the main stream media outlet is the impact it has on IVF treatment. Once again infertility and IVT treatments takes bottom page on the list of important illness.

Stories being shared around the world shows that it is becoming increasingly difficult to access IVF treatments presently. Ash Mogg and her partner had waited almost a year to a publicly funded list in Ontario and were about to begin the process in two weeks, but their hospital has suspended the treatment indefinitely.

Health Authorities across the world have taken the decision to halt all IVF treatment. The Times of Isreal reported that Isreal has stopped all new IVF treatments over the coronavirus fears. Due to the fear that it could spread in clinics and potentially harm foetuses.

Similar decision has also been taken by the European Society of Human Reproduction and the Embryology and the American Society for Reproductive Medicine.

These decisions were no doubt taken seriously with the safety of everyone affected.

The risk involve with continuing is too great to take. Apart from the risk for the medical technical performing the treatment, there is an increased risk for the patients undergoing the treatment due to the delicate nature of the process and close monitoring during the egg transfer phase, blood testing phase.

The waiting rooms of many IVF clinics are often small and holds between 30 to 40 women and their spouses at any given time. And, given the guidelines on social distancing, enforcing this will be difficult.

Furthermore, there is the added risk during the transferring of the embryo requiring extreme hygiene measures. This is a new virus and it is still unclear what effect if any it may have on foetuses.

the way it is spreading calls for urgent and severe measures to be taken. Never before has the world been shut down even in times of war.

Although the severity of the situation has left many couples heart broken, as their dreams of becoming parents are further, put on hold.

It is especially painful and heart wrenching for those who have had to stop their treatment mid-way. For some women, age is not on their side making this extremely hard to deal with.

I cannot imagine being in your place, I can only encourage you to keep your eyes on the goal. Now more than ever, stay strong. This too shall pass.

Practical things to do to as you wait.

If you must follow the news, limit it to specific times of the day.

Engage your mind with positive messages. Limit your exposure to social media, news outlets and other sources of negativity that may cause you to worry and panic.

  • Keep up to date with what is happening in the world of fertility treatment. Your hospital will also be sending out communications during this time to keep you updated on the developments.

Do something you have always wanted to do. If your city is locked down, take up gardening spring is here clear out the shed and bring out the flower pot

Plant some potted herbs or your favourite flower, watch it grow and bloom and as it does, say a prayer of hope faith that you too will grow and bloom soon with your own baby.

Take an online course learn a language, cooking skill, book club, dance class. The list is endless.

Iife must go on because here there is life, there is hope. My prayer through this is that we will all

I find our true purpose and embrace the real meaning of life.

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Surrogacy: I call it a helping hand.

D'EbiLeave a comment

Gone are the days, when having a baby means you have to be pregnant. While pregnancy is a beautiful experience. Sadly many women have suffered needlessly without success. With surrogacy, hope is restored and couples can now experience the joys of being parents.

I am so glad about the attention surrogacy is getting thanks to some high profile births via surrogates.

Like Candy from the Real Housewives of Atlanta and Kim and Kanye West.

To me, surrogacy means fighting to defeat infertility, doing whatever it takes to hold that precious soul in your hands.

It means not being ashamed to asked another to be the womb that holds your jewels, to trust someone with your heart.

It means exploring what is possible.

To be an expectant mother without the visible sign, but knowing that your heart is pregnant and bursting with love and gratitude.

Surrogacy, it is indeed the helping hand we all need.

In March we I’ll explore more on the topic.

Stay tuned

Kick Start Your Fertility in 2020

D'Ebi1 Comment

It’s the beginning of the year and often we have goals and resolutions to adhere to.

Here at faithful wait we are guessing yours is to fall pregnant.

To bring you closer to your dream, we have complied a list of 10 activities or changes to embark on as you work on your desires.

1. Reduce your stress level: stress is now the most commonly diagnosed illness right now. It is especially stressful if you fail to fall pregnant after several tries. If this is you, do simple things to reduce your stress level. this can be planning 10 mins daily walk around the block or at lunch break, practice slow breathing techniques as part of a meditation exercise.

2. Keep a positive attitude, this will involve actively choosing to ignore the negatives. Fill your mind with thoughts that promotes good feeling. I find reading a daily motivation book or quote and meditating on this helps to feel my mind positive thoughts and actions.

3. Practice meditation. This will aid in stress reduction, practice calm breathing sessions, you can find helpful videos on YouTube and other health sites. If cost is no issue, join a gym where you can take part in Pilates and yoga classes.

4. Read. What’s your situation? What do you know about it? Research on it and find alternatives ways to achieve those goals. Exploring other option

5. Alternate medicine: take a daily supplement or vitamins. Folic acid is recommended for those trying to conceive. Discuss with your doctor on what the best medicine to take is.

6. Take up new hobbies. We are often so engaged in

Trying to get pregnant we forget to love life. Take up a new skill like gardening, sewing, knitting, drawing, or learning a language. This l will refocus your mind and take the focus off trying to conceive as well as shift the focus off the issue and release you to enjoying life while you wait.

7. Adopt a healthy lifestyle. This will involve healthy eating and daily exercise. Doctors recommend 30 minutes of moderate exercise. Take a brisk walk, daily swimming or running, whatever suits your you.

9. Hold no grudges. Yes life seems cruel, you may feel you’ve been dealt a bad hand. Let go and look on the bright side. It could be worse.

10. Seek help. To fall pregnant requires action. If you have tried unsuccessfully in the last year and still not pregnant. Find out why. Talk to your doctor. Explore the options available to you. The IVF PROCESS

Do something to get you started.!

These are just a few steps towards achieving your dream of becoming a parent. Find out more for yourself on this site.

Get started today and I wish you every success in 2020. Don’t call it quit

Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

IVF PROCESS: Step by Step

D'EbiLeave a comment

Do you know what you are getting into I asked, no I don’t and I don’t care. The only thing I care about is that a baby comes out at the end of it all. This was the conversation I had with a colleague a few weeks ago. 

2 months into her treatment, she was exhausted, miserable and an emotional wreck. She was broken in more ways than she ever thought possible.

She has 3 failed cycle. Before finally conceiving on the 4th.

So what can we do to prepare for Treatment.

First we need to understand the process. What is involved and the help available to you.

Below are 9 steps to be aware of before embarking on treatment 

  1. IVF treatment requires a lot of doctors visit, this is for the clinic to find out the cause and commence the appropriate treatment. After this comes the shots 

  2. The shots: These are administered for 10 to 12 days to stimulate the woman’s ovaries. During a normal cycle, a woman produces one or two eggs. During an IVF cycle the ovaries are stimulated to produce lots of eggs to increase the chances of success. You will be monitored daily or every other day. This will involve ultrasound to measure the size of the eggs as well as ensure that the ovaries are not over stimulated.

  3. After the stimulation phase comes the egg retrieval from the ovaries. This is done under general anesthesia. It is then put in a dish (usually in the lab) to be mixed with the sperm.

  4. Then comes the monitoring stage. 3 to 5 days after the egg retrieval if fertilization occurs, the embryos will be placed back into your uterus. 

  5. Sometimes the eggs maybe abnormal and no fertilization will occur, where this happens it means the cycle has failed. 

  6. The transfer only occurs where the eggs have been fertilized by the sperm. 

  7. You may have some embryos left over and decide to freeze them for later. 

  8. Two weeks after the implantation: you will be invited for a blood test by your clinic to see if you are pregnant. 

  9. This is a very stressful time and you may want to occupy yourself during these 2 weeks wait. 

  10. Pray, believe and rest. 

This is a summary of the IVF process. 

You maybe wondering if it will work, there are no guarantees in life, but we can only try, pray hope and believe.. 

Your Partner in Hope 

D’Ebi 

Related links

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/07/14/what-if/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/08/13/single-women-and-ivf/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/07/17/the-uk-commissioning-groups-decides-who-gets-funding-for-ivf-there-are-some-factories-they-take-into-consideration-i-deciding-who-gets-funded-this-post-looks-the-criterial-for-funding/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/04/15/exploring-other-options-icsi/

I Remember

D'EbiLeave a comment

Today I remember a time when I celebrated birthdays without a child.

When no one made a card for me with scrap papers, scribbled writings and drawings that bears no resemblance to me..

When all I had was a kind and loving husband who will give me the world just to dull the pain of childlessness.

Today, I call to mind those days and it is hard to think back.

I had to pull up pictures of my days without kids. When each birthday I said a little prayer

“Lord let this be the year”..

Today I smile because this day this very moment. I am on top of the world, I am blessed with two beautiful girls.

Today, I heard a sound in my downstairs study and went to investigate

As I opened the door, my six year old screamed

“Mummy you can’t come in”. She was serious, so I retreated.

I knew what she was doing, I caught a glimpse of her making a birthday card for me.

A few minutes later big sister joined her and she called out “mummy whatever you do, DO NOT COME INTO THE STUDY”!

Ok I replied.

I observed as they tiptoed around the house to get items for their cards.

It warmed my heart.

My two little blessings with love in their heart making a birthday card for me.

There is no greater joy.

So today I celebrate with a heart filled with joy and gratitude for this wonderful blessing.

Today I pray for you, that you will come to know the joy of motherhood, that soon the ache you feel will be replaced by pangs of labour.

Your tears will be of joy and unspeakable blessings on beholding your child.

So do not give up.

Do not despair

Do not fear.

This is a journey that will end with rainbows in the skies.

Look up child, soon your blessings will make this wait worth it.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Post to Note

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/03/26/trust-and-joy-in-the-mist-of-pain/

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/03/30/i-see-you/

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/02/24/strengthened-not-faulty/