Tag: waiting

Unimagined

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This season is one of giving, retail outlets expects this to be a profitable season as shoppers look for that perfect gift for their families and friends.

I have seen some stunning gift wrapping techniques which puts to shame my limp attempt at wrapping . I am consoled by this saying “it’s the thought that counts, not the wrapping”.

This is so true, I have never seen anyone who decides not to unwrap their gift simply because the wrapping paper was too pretty. Without fail, adults and kids immediately tear into the wrapper hoping to find something of worth, something they imagined, or something unexpected.

Christ was an unexpected gift, although he was a promised king he was not a longed waited child. So His birth and everything surrounding it was unimagined.

Who would have imagined angels will appear to shepherds announcing his arrival?

Who would have imagined God will choose a teenage girl to use as a vessel via which a saviour will come.

Who would have imagined that Herod will be so cruel as to kill innocent children because he feared what that child will become?

Who would have imagined he would come, walk amongst men and perform so many miracle.

Who would have imagined this “King”, would die willingly and rise again?

Everything about his arrival, life, death and resurrection was unimaginable, which makes Christmas special.

As you wait for your own arrival one day. I am sure you have imagined the moment you find out you are expecting, you have imagined how your child will look, imagined their first steps, smile etc.

But God’s promise are unimaginable, even your best imagination has not yet imagined what God has in store for you..

How reassuring it is that we can’t out imagine God, His ways are past finding out.

As you wait and expect your burden of Joy, know that your eyes have not seen, your ears have not heard, neither your heart considered or imagined what God has in store for you.

it is unimaginable.

Your partner in Hope

Debi

Related post

Moments of Splendors, The Christmas Promise, Christmas Traditions, The Christmas Miracle, The Possbilities of Christmas Christmas and waiting: Blessings In Waiting

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The age question.

D'EbiLeave a comment

Yesterday’s post was about how the promised Christ was born 680 years after His birth was foretold.

Today I want to talk about another promised child Issace.

Abraham was 75 year old when God told him he will be a father of multitudes.

Becoming a parent at 75 in today’s world will be considered irresponsible, selfish, foolish, headlines screams “stupid”.

Our world have certain ideas and expectations of when our body should reproduce, never mind the wonders of technology, pregnancy over 40 is almost a taboo, let alone at 50,60 etc.

So for Abraham and Sarah to become parents at 100 is mind boggling to me.

Consider Sarah for a minute, she laughed when she heard the angel spoke of her being a mother. Sarah has written herself off, she knew she was pass her child bearing age, so that suggestion was not one she considered possible.

That laughter was load. It was doubt, it connotes the ridiculousnesses of the thought, it was filled with resignation.

But God fulfilled his promise to Abraham and Sarah and by so doing, paved the way for the Christmas promised “Christ”.

Because Jesus was from the linage of David who is a descendant of Issac.

Hope deferred makes the heart seek, says proverbs. simply put, the longer it takes, the more despondent we become.

I am not asking you to have children at 70, but to look at what is possible and what God can do.

You may have gone past what is considered to be the worlds ideal for child bearing age and have resigned yourself to not happening children.

God can heal, he turned Sarah’s womb and touched Abraham’s body – He can restore loss hope and bring a greater return than expected. Like Sarah and Abraham He can bring that long awaited promise to be.

If God can do it for Sarah, he is the same

Just as Sarah’s disbelief didn’t stop the promise from being fulfilled, so too, nothing can stop God’s promise to you.

Your partner in Hope

Debi

Related post.

The Christmas Miracle, The Christmas Promise, The Possbilities of Christmas , Christmas and waiting, Advent: Walking in Our shoes. Advent: Season of Hope, Good News of Great Joy

The Christmas Miracle

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The birth of Jesus was told over 680 years before he was actually born. God told the prophet Isaiah that a saviour would be born to a virgin mother. That didn’t happen for hundreds of years after the promise was given.

Did God forget to do what he told Isaiah? No.

Did he change his mind? No.

Did he make a mistake? No

I often wonder weather Isaiah felt despondent about the fulfilment of that promise.

God told him something, he knew it was God talking to him. Yet he did not see it fulfilled in his lifetime.

Isaiah must have felt unhappy, sad, and questioned if he had actually heard from God. I imagined that he even doubted what God said, would happen.

His feelings didn’t stop or delay the promise because when God says a thing, he always bring it to pass regardless of the time. Because he’s working on his timeline not on ours.

Isaiah’s doubt did hinder God. Of course we were not told that he felt this way, this is my imagination. I believe as a human being, he may have felt some form of disappointment at not seeing the promise come to pass.

So let me encourage you as you continue to wait for what you’ve heard God said to you, your doubts, discouragement, tears and even your seemingly faithlessness will not stop God because His promises will always come to pass. He is not a man that he should lie.

Just hold on, for Just like the Christmas story came to pass and a miracle baby was born hundreds of years after he was promised, so will your promise child be born in your lifetime because God is faithful.

Isaiah was the prophet God used by to foretell of his coming son. Be encouraged, that which you have been promised will come to pass.

Your partner in hope

Debi

Christmas and waiting, Advent: Season of Hope,

Celebratory seasons, Advent: Walking in Our shoes, Ad, The Christmas Promise

Advent: Season of Hope

D'EbiLeave a comment

2nd day of Advent.

If you celebrate christmas you will no doubt have began the process of shopping, planning, and Preparing for this wonderful time of the year.

I love this season of faith, joy, festivities just before the new year, a time when we as a people, all come together in one to make merry.

To remember and celebrate the birth of Jesus. Certainly for some, this time is now synonymous with parties and travel and time with families as they call it “the holidays”.

But truly, Advent is observed in many Christian denominations as a time of expectant waiting and preparation for the arrival of Jesus.

In silence contemplation, not in the busyness of high streets shopping malls.

The early church were told of his coming and prepared for it. Although not the same way we now prepare for Christmas, they waited quietly not in chaos.

They waited in hope of a saviour promised to rescue them from the tyranny of their oppressor.

They waited and expected deliverance and a new dawn.

So you see, the story of Christmas is one of waiting.

For those waiting for a baby, this conjures many emotions.

The last post Celebratory seasons talked about how this seasons maybe dreaded by those waiting for a child, as they observe little darlings in their cute Christmas outfits and plays.

I have walked your shoes, waited for 8 years, multiple miscarriages, multiple failed IVFs, so I can relate to the feeling of dread at this very time. As hope waned, expectations strains, you feel all alone.

But my message to you today is to expect something different, expect to receive literally your desires.

Expect to receive the promise of peace, the comfort that comes from waiting and expecting, expect to be touched by Jesus, who is our Prince of Peace.

And continue to hold on as The angel said to Mary

“Blessed is She who believes, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which where told her from the Lord”.

I urged you to wait in Hope for the expected promises.

Look out for tomorrows post “Perspectives”.

Your Partner in Hope

Debi

RELATED POST

Celebratory seasons, What’s In A Name., Good News of Great Joy, Advent: Day 7, His perfect plan.

Celebratory seasons

D'EbiLeave a comment

Every year we celebrate all kinds of occasions, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, halloween, thanksgiving and christmas.

These season can be triggers for the couple in waiting, because without fail, we see parents adore their young kids with outfit and proudly shows them off.

I did the same when my girls were still little. without thought for how my waiting friends feels. No one intentionally parades their kids to cause distress, we all do it from a place of joy.

But I understand the pain and agony these images can cause. The despair cause by your failed attempt to get pregnant, the repeated miscarriage and the loss of a child.

When I was waiting I discovered that more than seeing friends or pregnant women, the seasons of celebration is the hardest one to face.

There is no escaping the gaiety in the air as you watch friends, dress up with their babies, teens, sons or daughters in teamed outfit.

O the tug at your heart strings as you imagine how you will dress your baby. You build a picture and hold on to the hope that it will one day be you dressing up your child.

These image seems to diminish as the years go by.

And every year as you watch others with their tiny little babies dress up for school plays for halloween themed party for thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, you hide in floods of tears, loathing another celebratory season.

I am reminded by this passage in Psalm 143:8. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love.

Yes seasons may come and go and our desires tarries, but God’s word never changes.

Anchor your hopes to it and hold on, let each celebratory season remind you of His unfailing love and as we approach Christmas when you will have to face Santa and school plays, remember his birth is the reason we are here but his death and resurrection is a promise that we can hold on to his promise, that he will grant us our hearts desires.

For if he did not withhold his Son from us, he will give us freely our hearts desires.

Peace.

Your partner in hope.

Debi

Other related post:

A little town

Trust and Joy in mist of pain

Fertility Journey

D'EbiLeave a comment

Do you know what you are getting into I asked? “No, came the reply”, I don’t and I don’t care.

The only thing I care about is that a baby comes out at the end of it all. This was the conversation I had with a colleague a few weeks ago.

2 months into her treatment, she was exhausted, miserable and, an emotional wreck. She was broken in more ways than she ever thought possible.

She has had 3 failed cycle and became pregnant on the 4 try.

Little did she she know what she was getting into. If only someone had told me, she recalled months after giving birth:

So, how can you prepare for Treatment? How do you ensure that you are some how ready and have some insight into what you are about to embark on.

First you need to understand the stages of fertility treatments and what is involved.

According to the NHS websites there are 3 types of fertility treatments. 

Today’s post will focus on Medicines. 

  1. medicines
  2. surgical procedures
  3. assisted conception – including intrauterine insemination (IUI) and in vitro fertilisation (IVF)

Medicines

Common fertility medicines include:

clomifene – This is a drug given to stimulate ovulation. It encourages the monthly release of an egg (ovulation) in women who do not ovulate regularly or cannot ovulate at all. 

tamoxifen: This is an alternative to clomiphene that is also an ovulation stimulating drug offered to those with ovulation problems. 

metformin – is particularly beneficial for women who have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS).

Other ovarian stimulating drugs are 

gonadotrophins – can help stimulate ovulation in women, and may also improve fertility in men

gonadotrophin-releasing hormone and dopamine agonists – other types of medicine prescribed to encourage ovulation in women

These drugs are prescribed if your doctor thinks you need them.

Some of these medicines may cause side effects, such as nausea, vomiting, headaches and hot flushes.

So it is important to speak to your doctor for more information about the possible side effects of specific medicines.

Watch out for next post where we continue on Surgical procedures

Your partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Sources

stages of treatment @nhs.uk

related post

IVF PROCESS: Step by Step

Add ins to fertility treatment

IVF:Stages to egg implantation

Good News of Great Joy

D'Ebi1 Comment

And the angel said to them, do not be afraid for I bring you good news of great joy. Luke 2:10

Expecting something and receiving it does not diminish the we joy we get from the gift.

My kids always write their Christmas list. they pretty much know what gifts they will receive on Christmas day. Receiving it doesn’t stop them from being excited.

I also know what I will receive and I am always excited to unwrap the paper and see my chosen gift.

The angels announced the gift that will bring us good news of great joy.

The promised Advent. saviour brought great Joy. His arrival did not diminish the joy felt when the angel saw him.

This is a sign that whatever promises we are expecting, and holding on to, it will be one that will bring great joy.

Though the wait may seem long as the years roll on, hold on to his promises for when it comes, it will be one of great joy.

The length of the wait will not diminish the joy that comes with the promise.

Just hold on, look with expectations to the promise that is coming which will bring great joy.

Your Partner in Hope.

D’Ebi

Related post

Advent: Day 7, His perfect plan.

Our Hope This Easter

Christmas promise

The 2 weeks wait

D'EbiLeave a comment

Those who got pregnant naturally may not have heard of the two weeks wait.

I certainly was not anxiously waiting two weeks after falling pregnant with our second child to see if there was a positive test or not. It was 12 weeks after, I noticed I was late.

For those who have embarked on IVFs, the period immediately after egg transfer can be the most stress-filled days, it certainly was for me.

I was plague with questions like, what if this fails?

Endless questions like, why don’t i feel anything?

Every twinged was analyzed.

Every symptoms is interpreted as meaning something… a loss, especially having suffered miscarriage

So how do you survive this wait, how do you wait while you wait?

This post gives tips on what to do while waiting:

Do not obsess over every twinge, feelings and changes you notice.

You will feel differently from day to day, so save yourself the stress of ringing up your doctor whenever you think something is wrong.

I know this is a difficult task, but doing the next few steps will help.

  1. Take up an interest, this may seem like the most unlikely time to start something new, but doing something new can has focus your mind and in the process reduce the anxiety of having to constantly fixate on what is happening during the wait. There are lots of sites offering short courses on a varied range of interests .
  2. Walks: This is not the time to go for intensive exercise classes, but you can go for short walks in the woods and admire nature’s beauty.
  3. Yoga: IVF takes so much out of you and yoga is a great way to center your senses.It is great for relaxing and also focuses your mind on being calm as you concentrate on your breathing. Yoga relaxes you into calmness which lingers afterwards.
  4. I took up reflexology during my wait and often come away feeling relaxed. There are great work out videos on youtube.
  5. Learn how to cook a new dish. The process of researching, selecting, preparing the ingredients, peeling, cutting, cleaning the ingredients, engages the mind and also fills you with a sense of achievement. The very motion of cooking engages a different part of the brain. Invite friends over and share the meals with them. laughter and banter with others will do you a world of good.
  6. plan a date with your partner: Fingers crossed everything will go well and this maybe the last few weeks of being alone before your little baby comes. So enjoy the moment and do little stuff together.
  7. Start your diary and begin to write about your IVF experiences, you never know who this may help in future. I kept a dairy of my fertility journey which has formed the basis of this blog.
  8. Get going on that to do list you have been meaning to get to, be careful not to do any heavy lifting. Dusting and tidying of drawers and wardrobe are simple chores to get busy with.
  9. Adult doodle is a great way to pass the time. There are lots of inspirational doodle books around, these are great for lifting your spirits and as you color in the pages imagine your life being beautified by your little one.
  10. positive affirmation. this a way of focusing on the positive and a good practice to engage in, long after IVF. Simply refuse to dwell on the negative, you have nothing to loose and everything to gain by being positive so be full of hope.

Above all hold on to hope, you have come this far there is no need to worry now.
Seek out your support net work, it may be that one friend or a group you are path of, be in constant communication with them so as not to allow your self to drift off into negative and panicking territory.

The journey stared with that first push of the needle and will end with a beautiful baby.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Relevant Post

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/09/27/ivf-process-step-by-step/

https://faithfulwait.com/2019/05/29/the-pain-of-miscarriage/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/08/13/single-women-and-ivf/

https://faithfulwait.com/2017/12/06/fearful-wait/

IVF:Stages to egg implantation

D'EbiLeave a comment
  1. Meeting with Team: this is the initial consultation with the clinic to go throughout process.
  2. The process: The woman will be given medication to suppress her normal menstrual cycle. This is usually given for 2 weeks. My first cycle was a nasal spray but the final cycle was an injection which I learned to inject myself. After which step 3 begins
  3. Boosting the egg supply: This will include stimulation of the ovaries to produce more eggs than usual, to increase the number of eggs for fertility. You will be given a fertility hormone called follicle stimulating hormone (FSH). This is also a daily injection you give yourself or your partner can assist if they want to be involved and feel connected to the process. It’s usually for 10-12 days.
  4. Monitoring. you will be monitored while on the FSH, some clinics will scan every 2 days while others maybe twice weekly during the process. The monitoring may be ultrasound scans to monitor the size of the ovaries, blood test or both. The ovaries are usually measured to see how big the eggs are and a final hormone boost may be given 34-38 hours prior to collection.
  5. Collecting the eggs: Eggs are usually collected on days 10 or 12 depending on the sizes/ how well the ovaries have been stimulated. collecting is usually done under local anesthetic where you will be sedated. A needle is passed through the vagina into each ovary under ultrasound guidance. This procedure may take 15-20 minutes. You may experience cramp or light bleeding afterwards.
  6. Fertilizing the eggs: Once the eggs are collected they are mixed with your partners or the donor sperm in the lab. They are checked after 16-20 hours to see if Fertilization has occurred.
  7. In some cases the eggs may be injected individually with a sperm called ICSI.
  8. Egg Monitoring: The embryos are left to continue to grow for 6 days before being transferred into the womb. The best 2 are usually selected to be transferred.
  9. Embryo Transfer: The embargo’s are transferred into the womb using a thin tube called a catheter passed into the vagina. The procedure is quite simple and doesn’t involve any sedation.
  10. Then began the 2 weeks wait. see next post for how to cope.

Your Partner in Hope

D’Ebi

Related post

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/05/11/a-woman-in-waiting/

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/07/11/surviving-treatment/

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/09/22/exploring-other-options/

https://faithfulwait.com/2016/10/26/choosing-an-ivf-clinic/

https://faithfulwait.com/2018/03/31/it-only-takes-one-egg/

Signs Of Infertility

D'EbiLeave a comment

We have been writing about surrogacy and the reason to embark on a surrogate journey, on this page for a while:

This led me to think about signs of infertility. The more I speak with friends and those who have tried for a while the more  obvious it  becomes  that some couples delay in seeking help. 

So this post focuses on signs of infertility and when to seek help. 

See similar post herehttps://faithfulwait.com/2016/06/08/infertility-when-to-seek-help/

Infertility affects both male and female. In previous post we discussed that a third of infertility issues comes from women, the other third from men or combination of both, other factors related to unknown causes.

Below is a list of signs of infertility for women

  1. Painful sex
  2. Heavy; long or paid periods: could be a sign of endometriosis, this is a condition where tissues found in the womb are present elsewhere in the body.
  3. Irregular menstrual cycle.
  4. Hormone changes: a test by your doctor can detect changes in hormones: hormone change can lead to weight gain, facial hair in female, loss of sex drive, acne.
  5. Underlying medical conditions: such as damage to Fallopian tubes, PCOS, cancer. Rheumatoid Arthritis ( which is a condition I was diagnosed of).
  6. Obesity:

infertility in men:

 Signs of infertility in men can include 

  1. Hormone imbalance: The key hormone for male is Testosterone where problem with the testes can cause infertility. The males testes have two hormones  which make sperm, the luteinizing hormones and the stimulating hormones.  These hormones are produced by pituitary glands so any problems with this gland Amy also led to infertility in men.
  2. Erectile dysfunction: failure to have erection during sex can be as a result of stress or other psychological factors. Please seek medical intervention If this becomes a regular occurrence.
  3. Ejaculation problem: Any change or difficulty in ejeculation, can result in infertility, medical advice should be sought where this becomes a frequent occurrence 
  4. Problems with the testicle:  This may include swollen, painful, or tender testicles. If you noticed any of these or other changes in your testlces please seek help.
  5. Obesity: Obesity can affect both male and female fertility. It is important to keep your weight under check if you are trying for a baby. 

Other causes of infertility include 

  • Age
  • Excessive drinking/consumption of alcohol
  • Sexually transmitted disease
  • Smoking
  • Poor diet

When to seek help.

If you experience any of the above signs,  please consult your doctor if you are under 35 and have been trying for more than a year (6 months if you are over 35 of age).

Changes to make to boost your fertility 

Change of lifestyle may include having healthier meals

Exercise 

Decreases of total reduction of alcohol 

Keeping your weight in check.

Conclusion

It is important to observe your body for any signs of changes and consult your doctor as soo. As possible to avoid delays in getting pregnant

Your partner in Hope

References

D,Ebi

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